


The Transmutation of Carmilla Karnstein

by CannonsAndCurses



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Boxing, Alternate Universe - Vampire Slayer, Baby Vamp Carmilla, Badass Laura Hollis, F/F, Feisty Laura Hollis, Human Carmilla Karnstein, Language, Laura's curiosity is going to get her in trouble, Other, Sappy Carmilla Karnstein, Swearing, Vampire Carmilla, Vampire Hunters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-27 19:17:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 105,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13887396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CannonsAndCurses/pseuds/CannonsAndCurses
Summary: Laura Hollis is a journalist, boxer, and demon hunter extraordinaire in a big, bad city rampant with vampires. She wakes up hungover after her 25th birthday to a mysterious stranger in her apartment... the HELL is going on?As the demonic underbelly of the city is revealed and Laura becomes a pawn in the game of taking down the Mother of All Vampires, will she come out the same as she went in?





	1. Hangover From Hell

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not usually a writer of fan fiction (I'm pretty terrible at being on the internet in general). I mostly stick to writing my original stuff, but this ish embedded itself into my brain stem and wouldn't let go until I wrote it. 
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.
> 
> Also, I have no beta reader, since I barely know what that is (but I can discern). So forgive any egregious errors.

The first few notes from an electric guitar blared, echoing off the light grey walls of the poorly insulated apartment bedroom. A louder groan followed. The music stopped abruptly as Laura’s fingers danced across the glass of the phone, trying desperately to make the pounding in her ears cease. 9 AM - she’d spent the first several hours of her twenty-fifth year drunk out of her mind, and now the hangover had set in. Why had she let LaF convince her that partying like they were still in college was a good idea?

“Uuuugh,” she mumbled, rolling back over and covering her eyes. She knew she had to get up, half an hour of yoga and an hour in front of her favorite (and only) punching bag in the living room would rid her of the rest of the toxins in her system, but dammit if she didn’t just want to curl back into a fetal position and sleep for the rest of the day.

“Get your ass up, Hollis,” she mumbled to herself, willing her legs to kick the covers off and connect with the cold of the faux wood floor beneath her. She reached for the glass of water by her bed, at least she’d had enough sense to pour it for herself before passing out. She took the whole contents in three large gulps.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee assaulted her nostrils and her entire body tensed. She looked over at the other half of the bed beside her: still fairly made, so no one had slept there the night before. She glanced down at herself: she’d stripped off her jeans and tank top when she’d gotten back, but slept in her underwear, so she probably didn’t sleep with anyone last night… _who’s in my apartment?_

She wracked her brain: she’d gotten to the bar a few hours after work, met her group there, and started out with whiskey gingers. Somewhere along the line she, Danny, and Kirsch had done a few shots before dancing for a bit, and when she finally decided she either had to voluntarily break the seal or she was going to pee her pants, she’d gone to the ridiculously long line for the ladies’ room. She huffed as she remembered standing there in the non-moving line for five minutes before a brunette clad in leather pants and blood red lipstick unlocked the door and lazily sauntered out, dragging a leggy blonde six inches taller than herself behind her. Something about the brunette had looked familiar, but Laura couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

Said brunette had winked at her when she walked by. The memory made her cheeks burn. She was gorgeous - slim but curvy, wavy hair so dark it was almost black, a set of killer eyebrows, and a jawline carved from stone. Then Laura shook her head, her nose scrunching up in disgust: she was not one for public bathroom sex. Way. Too. Unsanitary.

What had happened next? She’d (finally) gone to the bathroom, then made her way back to her friends, who had been starting to wonder if she’d fallen asleep on the toilet.

“Wouldn’t that have been my proudest hour,” Laura had joked, her words slurring just a tad.

“Wouldn’t be the first time, L,” Kirsch laughed, reminding her of the time senior year of college that she’d been dragged to the Summer Society party by Danny and ended up falling asleep in the upstairs bathroom mid-pee.

“I’m not the only one that did stupid shit in college, Kirsch,” Laura said, raising her eyebrows at him. “If I recall, you-“

The rest of the group joined in for the remainder of the story, “jumped off the roof into the pool and caught your ankle on the way down. We all spent the night in the emergency room.”

Kirsch blushed, but there was a little pride in the boyish grin painted on his face. He never had quite grown up.

“Those were the days…” he said, a nostalgic, far-away look in his eye.

Then what happened? Oh right, they went back to dancing and Laura had…

She gulped, standing for the first time that morning. She had met the brunette. She had _danced_ with the brunette. Oh no, please say she didn’t have sex in the bathroom with the brunette, too. Her brain worked to put the pieces together.

“Oh come on,” she moaned, trying to remember. She paced in her room for a few minutes, throwing on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt in the process. Time was ticking by, she had to go out and see who was waltzing around her apartment.

Her shoulders relaxed a bit. It was probably Danny or Perry or LaF. Not Kirsch, she remembered he’d come over while she was dancing with Public Sex (man had she even gotten her name?) to say goodnight. She remembered because he’d wished her a happy birthday and given her a kiss on the cheek before leaving. Then the brunette had insisted on buying her a drink to celebrate.

She crossed her room and opened the door, throwing her dirty blonde hair into a messy bun as she walked. Good gods that coffee smelled good. She always burnt it - which was why she hardly ever made it. She had spent a hundred plus bucks on a fancy coffee maker and never, ever brewed. Stupid investment.

“Sleep well, birthday girl?” Laura could hear the smirk in that rough, morning-after-too-much-alcohol voice. And though her ears had not yet drunk a hundred words of that tongue’s utterance, she knew the sound.

The brunette.

Laura looked up and there she was, still strapped into those leather pants and a flowing royal purple top. A leather jacket hung haphazardly on one of Laura’s bar stools by the kitchen counter, a beat up pair of biker boots next to it.

Her eyes met the brunette’s, who took a long swig from the Hufflepuff coffee cup (or “Hufflecup”, as Laura called it) resting between her palms. It did not escape Laura’s attention that the woman chose the Harry Potter mug amongst the many others she could have picked from. A small moan escaped the other woman’s lips as the caffeine began its humble work. Laura took note of how the moan affected her… which was more than she would have liked, considering she didn’t know this woman at all. Leather Pants still looked so familiar though. Where did she know her from?

“Sorry to steal your coffee and brew up some liquid energy. Needed it though, after last night.” The brunette winked and placed the mug down on the counter.

“Did we - um -“ Laura stuttered, unable to lock eyes with her again in fear she would turn beet red.

“Oh. Oh _no_ , _”_ the slightly taller girl insisted. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re cute and all, but I’m not the kind that sleeps with girls that won’t recognize me in the morning. Or girls that are, you know, unconscious.” The brunette smirked. Again. “I like when girls remember me.”

_She’s forward. And confident,_ Laura thought. It made her blush a bit. Which didn’t go unnoticed.

Leather Pants raised one of those manicured brows and took another sip from the mug. When Laura still couldn’t find anything to say, the brunette made a small coughing noise and grabbed another mug from the cabinet. _Well doesn’t she just already know her way around?_ Laura mused internally as she watched the other girl pour her a cup of coffee. She handed it over the counter and Laura took a sip, a small moan of her own leaving her lips. This coffee was fantastic, divine, nothing like it was when she made it.

“Straight black? My kinda girl,” the brunette said, holding up her mug in approval before taking another sip.

“Sorry,” Laura finally found her voice again. “I don’t mean to be rude when you’ve made this tremendous coffee but, um-“

“Carmilla,” the brunette said before Laura could finish. The ease in which she said it made Laura both relax and become more tense. Had she been such a mess last night that Carmilla knew she wouldn’t remember? _That’s embarrassing._

Carmilla’s eyes wandered to the standing punching bag Laura had bought a year ago after she moved in. She’d purchased it when she realized she couldn’t always get to the gym after work but knew she couldn’t let her skills slide. Boxing was the ultimate release for her: yoga was great and all, but nothing compared to the rush of kicking or punching the shit out of something. Sure she fought demons in her spare time, but it wasn’t like she was Buffy and had any kind of superpowers to go along with her training.

“Nice bag, I prefer hanging ones myself, but it must be nice to have one at home,” Carmilla mused, and that’s when it hit Laura. Carmilla. Carmilla _Karnstein._ She was top of her weight class. Oh… oh no. Her mouth went dry.

“Ya okay there, killer?” Carmilla asked, raising a brow yet again.

“I, uh, yeah, I’m just… I’m Laura,” Laura said.

“Hollis, I know. We’re fighting next week.”

_Shit._


	2. Getting to Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla get to know one another a little bit - and decide to spend the night hunting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few chapters of this little diddy completed, so I thought I'd throw another one up today just for kicks. Don't know how frequently I'll be able to update, but if you guys are into this, I will do my best to do it as often as possible.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

“Oh,” was all Laura could manage. She took another drink while thinking of what to say next. After a few seconds, the thought that was making her stomach squirm found its way to her vocal chords. “Did you know that last night?” she asked quietly.

“What? Oh, cupcake, no, I just thought you were cute,” Carmilla laughed, and it was a sound Laura found herself wanting to hear again. “There was some mail on the table next to the couch. I saw your last name, your bag, and put two and two together.” She placed her empty mug on the counter and reached for the carafe to refill.

The churning in Laura’s stomach eased, she hadn’t wanted the beautiful girl making coffee for her to have been studying her all night or trying to get into her pants because she knew they’d be fighting in a week. Er, not that she, you know, cared. Or anything.

“You’re good,” Laura said, finally meeting Carmilla’s eyes once again. Brown, like her own, with a gold ring circling the pupil.

“I’m scrappy,” Carmilla mused, her sultry tone dragging the words out. “I wouldn’t say that makes me ‘good’.”

“Your weight class disagrees,” Laura said, and was that a slight twinge of jealousy she heard in her own voice?

“Well then, Ms. Hollis, how about we spar?” Carmilla challenged, placing her mug down on the marble countertop.

“We’ll be sparring next weekend, Ms. Karnstein,” Laura countered, hitting Carmilla’s name just so.

“What we’ll be doing next weekend, _cupcake_ , is performing for a room full of people.” Another eyebrow raise. Those brows might be the death of Laura.

“Call it what you will,” Laura began. “I still don’t think it’s smart for us to fight before we fight.”

“Okay,” Carmilla drawled, walking around the counter and reaching for her boots.

“Wh-where are you doing?” Laura asked far too quickly. _Easy, Hollis._

“Gotta get gone,” Carmilla said, pulling the boots on her feet. “But if you don’t want to fight me, maybe you’ll fight  _with_ me. Sundown, the park off Pine?”

Pine? That was one of the most notorious demon hangouts in the city after dark. Was Carmilla asking her to spend the night hunting?

“You, uh, you hunt?”

“I fight demons, if that’s what you mean.” Carmilla reached for her faded jacket. Laura's fingers wrapped around the soft leather and she held it out to the other girl, their fingers touching for a fraction of a second.

"Thanks, cupcake."

A look of surprise was still stuck on Laura’s face.

“Come on, it’s not like the existence of demons is terribly shocking to most people anymore,” Carmilla said, shrugging the coat across her shoulders.

“It’s still surprising to find anyone that hunts them down for a good fight,” Laura said.

“Good practice, as I’m sure you’ve discovered. If I can take a vamp, I can take a princess in a fight.” The right side of Carmilla’s mouth lifted into half a grin. Laura’s gaze stayed stuck on those lips just a millisecond too long. “So, you in?” Carmilla asked after a moment, pulling Laura out of her daze.

“Are you sure you want a hungover partner?”

“I have faith you’ll go for a run or have a couple rounds there with the bag, sweat it out, eat a few good meals and be good to go by 7:30.” Carmilla reached across Laura to a pen and pad sitting stagnant on the counter. She brushed the smaller girl as her arm passed. Laura could have sworn it was on purpose. “But in case you’re not, gimme a shout.”

Carmilla wrote her number down on the paper and dropped it in front of the other girl. She leaned in, not close enough to make Laura shiver but damn close, and whispered, “it was a pleasure dancing with you last evening, Ms. Hollis. I look forward to repeating it in the ring.”

Laura was sure she was the color of a tomato now from the burning in her face and across her chest. Carmilla smirked, _again_ , and walked to Laura’s front door. She turned back as she opened it, giving Laura one last once-over, offered the blonde a small smile, and stepped out.

“See you tonight, creampuff,” she said as she pulled the door shut behind her.

* * *

Half an hour later, music filled the living room and a thin sheen of sweat coated Laura’s skin as she circled the bag, her hands expertly wrapped and snug inside a pair of worn boxing gloves. Her body may have been going through the motions, but her head couldn’t have been further away.

Around minute forty-seven, her thoughts finally started to clear as the fog of the hangover lifted. It had taken longer than usual, but boxing always brought her back to herself. Jab, cross, hook, undercut, roundhouse kick, high kick, rinse, repeat. Over and over and over. She continued like this, stopping to have a few rounds with a jump rope or to do some push-ups, for another hour until she felt lightheaded with endorphins.

She’d missed a few texts while in work-out mode, LaF checking in - _How was she? Did you guys, ya know?,_ Danny making sure she was keeping hydrated, _water, Laura. I hope you drank some when you got in last night_. And Kirsch, _heard you left with the bathroom hottie you were dancing with. High five, Hollis!_

She rolled her eyes, grinning at Kirsch’s antics.

_I didn’t ‘leave with her’ leave with her. She made sure I got home safely and then slept on the couch. It was very tame,_ she replied.

To which he said, _suuuuure. But it’s cool, you don’t kiss and tell. I respect that in a bro._

She sat in front of her computer for a bit, unable to finish an article that was due on Monday titled _Walking While Woman: 10 Ways to Keep Yourself Safe in the City at Night._ She’d mixed some basic boxing techniques in with statistics and places in the city with higher attack rates than others. Kidnappings and unresolved murders were getting out of control. For the people that refused to accept demons in their midst (of which there were still a great deal), there was talk of stronger neighborhood watches and going out in groups. But for those that knew the truth, Laura wanted to make sure they were prepared.

The cursor blinked on the screen. Despite knowing hundreds of ways to keep herself safe, she had stopped at way 7 (“Getting Out of a Chokehold From Behind”). Her mind wandered to the night before, she could almost feel her body swaying to the music at the bar, Carmilla’s hands on her hips, Carmilla grinding against her back, those red lips close enough to one ear that she could feel the slightly taller girl’s hot breath.

She groaned. If she was going to fight this girl, she’d have to get rid of the raging hard-on she had for her. Maybe fighting alongside her that night was the best idea. She could see up close how scrappy Carmilla was, her choices in the heat of the moment, the way her body moved to dodge things she couldn’t see coming… _yeah, that’s probably her goal with you, too, genius,_ she thought to herself. Study one another in a fight not meant to be consumed by a room full of people. Study one another in a fight against a far stronger opponent. Demons were always stronger. Faster. More cunning. They were the perfect training ground.

Her phone dinged with a press release about Lilita Morgan. The stunning CEO was starting yet another foundation in her name, this time for the arts and underprivileged youth in the city. Laura knew better than to believe what the media painted about the woman. She was a demon. A literal demon: Lilita Morgan was a vampire, and while it was kept from the media, all hunters in the city knew. Her squeaky clean appearance was an act: Laura knew what she did in the dark.

The journalist reached over to the pad of paper on the kitchen counter. She picked it up, staring at the numbers for a second, and then dialed them into her phone. She composed a text to Carmilla: _7:30. I’ll be there._

A response came within the hour (the longest of Laura’s life). She briefly wondered if Carmilla had seen the text earlier and waited to respond or if she was one of those people that only checked their phone every now and then, even if it was buzzing right in front of them. Probably the latter, she seemed to have that carefree nonchalance Laura was always far too type-A for but incredibly jealous of. She swiped her finger across the touchscreen.

_Looking forward to it, cutie. Bring your A game._

_Always do,_ Laura typed.

_I remember,_ Carmilla replied almost instantly. The tips of Laura’s lips curled into a smile and she could feel a blush paint its way across her cheeks. The other girl seemed to bring that out in her. Carmilla Karnstein, the best flyweight in the city, the most mysterious fighter in the league, and yet you couldn’t find anything about her: nothing about her past, nothing about her training, and certainly not where she’d gotten the jagged scar that stretched from her collarbone to her right shoulder. She never seemed self-conscious about it in the ring, though. Quite the opposite: she always choose clothing that showed it off.

Laura sighed and put her phone in her pocket, making her way back to her laptop. She was determined to finish the article. And when Laura Hollis was determined to do something, she did it. No matter how long it took.

 

It took four hours.

 

By the time 7:00 rolled around, Laura was itching for some action. _Fighting_ action, no other part of her body was itching for anything else, no sir. Standing in front of her dresser, she stared down at an array of exercise clothing, wishing she could find something that both looked appealing and was reasonable for high kicks, sprinting, and blood. Sighing, she pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a tank top.

Strapping on her favorite pair of sneakers, she stared at herself in the mirror for a few seconds. Despite all the media she’d consumed saying different, fighting demons was not, in fact, a sexy endeavor. She pulled her long hair up in a bun and slipped on a light jacket, then nestled a knife and wooden stake into its inner lining. Placing her phone snugly inside her sports bra, she slipped headphones in and stepped out the door.

As soon as she was outside her building, her feet began moving at a leisurely jog. At this pace she could get a good warm up and still be at the park with a few minutes to spare. Music pounded in her ears as she fought desperately against the excitement bubbling in her stomach. _This night isn’t anything but two women hunting, Hollis,_ she thought to herself as she turned a corner. _Get your head in the game._

Twenty-five minutes later, she was jogging through the park gates. The sun was starting to set, pinks and oranges blazing up the city skyline, cutting through the branches and leaves, painting shadows on patches of grass below. The park was usually quiet at dusk. But once the sun completely set, the party began. Shaking her body out, Laura stretched her muscles. She glanced around, surveying the area for signs of Carmilla. Something moved behind her and she turned, planting her feet and readying her fists in front of her face. An arched brow met her eyes.

“Jumpy, creampuff?” Carmilla speculated.

Laura dropped her fists and lowered her torso to stretch her back: it was all she could to do keep herself from looking the woman up and down. She was still filling out those leather pants perfectly.

_How is she going to fight in_ **_those_ ** _? Here I am, looking like I just strolled out of a laundry bin…_

“Here,” Carmilla said, positioning herself beside Laura and pushing the blonde’s shoulders down further for more of a stretch. Laura’s breath caught in her chest, her heart stopping for a second. “Gods you’re tight,” Carmilla hummed.

“I, um, fell from a tree when I was in college, hurt my back. Haven’t been that flexible there since.” Laura’s voice was a bit higher than usual as she stood up and pulled herself away from Carmilla’s hand. _Head in the game, head in the game,_ Laura chanted to herself.

“Firemen couldn’t get to you in time?” Carmilla asked.

“…What?”

“Firemen… tree… never mind.” Carmilla shook her head.

“Oh,” Laura huffed, laughing. Carmilla did not look amused at her attempt to understand the joke after it needed to be explained. Laura’s gaze moved to her sneakers.

The sun had almost completely set now, game time was creeping closer and closer.

“So… where should we start?” Laura asked, trying desperately to recover from the awkward moment.

“There’s a new vamp nest by the merry-go-round, I’ve been watching it for a few days,” Carmilla said, her voice shifting from the drawling tone Laura had come to know to a more commanding one. Something moved in the bushes a few yards away. “Or we could just start right here at home,” she whispered, her eyes searching for the source. “Come out, come out…” she continued, mostly to herself. Laura followed her gaze, the two women’s bodies suddenly jumping into fight-or-flight mode.

Laura’s skin was buzzing. Her brain had finally turned off and the only thing she could see, or feel, or smell, was the impending fight. A squirrel shot up the tree the two were staring at, and they both exhaled simultaneously.

“Well, we saved the city,” Laura huffed, laughing.

“The danger has been vanquished,” Carmilla joked, deadpan, in agreement.

“So that vamp nest?” Laura asked. “Lead the way.”

“Happy to,” Carmilla said, taking off across the park at a jog, Laura following in stride.


	3. Happy Hunting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla fight the pack of vampires they were looking for. The results are... not what Laura expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said at the beginning of 2, I have a few chapters of this written already so there's no use keeping them on my computer and not sharing. I have 6 or 7 total finished as of now, so after those come out updates may slow a bit. But if you guys are liking, I will stick to my promise of updating as often as possible. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

The city’s light pollution mixed with random park street lamps offered just enough illumination to distinguish trees and bushes from benches and shadows. Laura kept pace with Carmilla through the path’s twists and turns before the merry-go-round finally came into view before them. Laura could make out a few bodies exiting the small building where tickets were sold and the carousel’s operator ran the machine.

“There’s a small basement in there with a tunnel to the sewers,” Carmilla answered the question in Laura’s mind.

_How Buffy of them,_ Laura thought.

“Game time, fuckers,” Carmilla snarled as she crept closer to the predators. Hairs stood up on the back of Laura’s neck. She wasn’t sure it was a smart idea to go up against a _group_ of vamps. It was, after all, only the two of them.

“Shouldn’t we wait until they’ve split up? That’s a lot to take on…” Laura whispered, but followed Carmilla.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Carmilla asked, a gleam in her eye.

“Keeping my life would be fun…” Laura mused to herself but continued behind the other girl. She saw the brunette pull a handheld crossbow from her jacket, no larger than a small pistol. She shot off two arrows in quick succession, dropping two of the vamps instantly. The three remaining vampires growled, turning around and scanning for the source.

“Hunters,” one of them growled, his deep snarl more animal than human.

Hunting was a precarious sport by nature, Laura had learned that lesson more than once. As the pack turned, the two women sprang into high-gear simultaneously. Carmilla used a tree as a springboard for for a high kick to one of the vamp’s faces, and Laura immediately found herself sandwiched between the other two demons.

_Shit,_ was the thought that would have crossed her mind had adrenaline not been pumping through every cell in her body. Her skin buzzed, mind raging. She ducked just in time to miss one of the vamp’s punches, and stuck her knife deep in his gut. He grunted, backing up, allowing just enough time for Laura to turn and take out the stance of the other.

The ground echoed as he hit it, and he reached out, catching her leg. Before slamming a foot down on his hand, Laura felt his teeth sink into her left Achilles’ tendon. An animalistic scream forced its way from her mouth. Carmilla, having just knocked down the other vamp, whipped her head around. Her gaze met Laura’s as the dirty blonde drove her wooden stake through the vampire’s heart. Laura gave the brunette a wink and turned around to face the other demon.

Laura’s body was aflame as she and the vampire sparred. He jabbed her in the nose: crunch. The familiar warmth of blood began flowing to her chin, seeping into her mouth, coating her tongue with a tangy metallic taste. She ducked his second punch, catching him just under the ribcage with her right fist. He grunted and staggered, giving her the second she needed to kick him in the chest. He fell back and before he’d hit the ground, Laura shoved the stake through his heart, a beaming smile on her face.

That’s when she heard it: a quiet whimper. She looked up to see Carmilla’s body being dropped to the earth, blood coating her mouth, two puncture wounds in her neck.

Laura saw red, her legs carrying her toward the vampire at a speed she didn’t know she was capable of, especially not with a wound in her Achilles’. Before he could do anything, he was dead. Dead undead. Dead again. Whatever, he was gone. When his body crashed onto the concrete, the night suddenly became still. Laura dropped to Carmilla’s side.

“No, no, no, no,” she repeated over and over, checking for any signs of life, wiping the blood from Carmilla’s lips, reaching into her mouth and trying to scoop out any she could. “Carmilla…” She brought her lips down toward the ones no longer stained red with lipstick, but instead with blood. She spat a mouthful of her own onto the ground before breathing into the other woman’s mouth and starting compressions.

And again.

And again.

It was only a few minutes until Laura’s body dropped next to Carmilla’s quiet corpse. There was nothing. No heartbeat, no breath, nothing. Tears stung the corners of her eyes.

She looked around. They couldn’t… she… _she_ couldn’t stay there. How many more vamps were there? She didn’t know, and she couldn’t sit there with Carmilla’s dead body waiting to find out. Carmilla. Carmilla’s dead body. Gods what was she going to do with the body? Her stomach dropped, the adrenaline that once made her fly now crashed her to the earth in its absence. There was no way she could carry the other woman’s dead weight, but she couldn’t leave her there in the park, just another murder, just one more statistic on the city’s ever growing list.

Tears were rolling down her cheeks, but she stood on shaky legs and lifted Carmilla’s torso from the back, hooking her arms under the other woman’s and beginning to pull, dragging her along the path. A scream made its way from her mouth, her left ankle burning from the bite. The exertion was overwhelming. Flinging sticky, sweaty stray hairs from her face, she grunted, pulling as hard as she could, coughing blood from her mouth every now and again.

That was when a drop fell on Laura’s nose. And another. Then the night sky cracked itself open and a storm flooded upon her. Tears, blood, and rain ran freely down her face, mud covering her shoes, Carmilla, everything. She dragged the body on.

Laura’s foot slipped in the quickly growing sludge and she lost her footing, tumbling into the mess below, Carmilla’s torso crashing down atop her. An unimaginable dread filled every part of Laura’s being. Exhaustion crept into her extremities. The pain of her broken nose spread across her face, the searing agony in her foot radiating up her leg. She was too tired now to even cry. Her body fell as limp as the one pinning her into the wet earth, then tensed as she let out a guttural wail.

After a moment she struggled, pulling her body from underneath Carmilla’s. She pushed more hair from her eyes, smudging her face with mud and the leftover blood from Carmilla’s mouth. She looked an animal: ferocious, but defeated, broken… wrecked.

Carmilla’s finger suddenly twitched, and Laura’s eyes did a double take.

_No._

No she couldn’t have seen that.

_Could I?_

And then the truth hit her like an oncoming train. She’d assumed the blood on Carmilla’s lips was, well, Carmilla’s. That the vamp had gotten a few good face punches in. But no. He’d drained her, and then made her drink from him. Laura just hadn’t seen it.

Carmilla’s head twitched, her eyes flying open, and her torso shooting up from the ground. Laura sat still as stone behind her. Carmilla crooked her head from side to side. Laura’s eyes were wide, wide with amazement, wide with terror, wide with grief.

Carmilla had been turned. And Laura was sitting right behind her.

Laura knew enough to know that being a newborn, Carmilla wouldn’t know her strength or how to control cravings. She would barely know herself. And she’d be _hungry._

Laura could only do one thing. She shifted as quietly as she could behind the undead fledgling, but Carmilla’s ears caught the sound and she whipped around with superhuman speed. Even in the storm, Laura could see her pupils were completely dilated. Carmilla’s mouth turned up in that half smirk… but there was no mirth behind it, only malice.

Her canines descended, becoming fangs, and she ran her tongue hungrily along each.

“Carmilla…” Laura whispered, standing, holding a hand out in front of her.

“Ohhhh creampuff, there is something I have been _itching_ to do since last night,” Carmilla murmured, looking Laura up and down like she was, well, a meal.

“That wouldn’t be, um, cuddling, would it?” Laura squeaked. Then Carmilla was so close to her that any rain that would fall between their faces was being caught in their hair. Carmilla sniffed deep.

“You. Smell. _Divine,_ ” she said, crooking her head and staring down at Laura’s neck. Laura whimpered, her legs suddenly unable to move.

_Get it together, Hollis,_ her brain screamed, but her body was paralyzed.

It was when Carmilla’s fingers wrapped around her wrist that she found her strength again. She tried to rip herself from the vampire’s grasp to no avail, but it did give her the momentum she needed to wind up and sock Carmilla in the face with her free hand. The undead girl backed up, shocked.

“Sorry, Carmilla,” Laura apologized automatically.

A low laugh spilled from Carmilla’s lips as she licked the extraneous blood from around her mouth.

“No apologies necessary, cupcake. I think I like you rough.”

Laura whined again and glanced around. This was it. Fight or flight. Kill Carmilla, run away, or… get killed. Her feet pivoted underneath her and she took off at the fastest sprint her legs could manage.

Blood pounded in her ears, her feet propelling her off the slippery ground, rain stinging her eyes. Adrenaline flooded her veins for the second time that night, and the pain in her body all but disappeared.

And then Carmilla was in front of her again. She dodged out of the way, sliding across the path’s mud, ducking just in time to miss Carmilla’s arms trying to wrap her body in a hold. She heard a low growl escape the vampire’s lips.

“Run all you want, sweetheart, I like a challenge,” Carmilla whispered, a hint of excitement in her voice.

Laura turned.

“So you’re gonna kill me, is that it?” she said, a sudden courage ripping through her. “Drink me down like a blood slurpee and leave my body to rot in the rain?” Her fingers twitched, and she suddenly switched tactics. “I’ve never seen a fledgling as self-aware as you are, Carm,” she said, her voice steady. The nickname came out before she could stop it. Carmilla growled again. Or was that a purr?

Something flew past Laura’s ear and pierced Carmilla’s shoulder. A spurt of electricity jolted through the vampire, then another, and Laura watched as she collapsed onto the ground.

“Frosh!” LaF’s familiar voice called from behind her, “ya okay?”

The red-head jogged up alongside Laura, their eyes scanning over Carmilla’s body for any sign that she was going to get up. The vampire was out cold.

“New gadget,” LaF held up a small crossbow not unlike the one Carmilla had been using earlier, only this one had a few extra tricks. “Sends electricity directly into the brain, stopping its functions for an hour or so. …We hope,” they finished uncertainly. Then they smacked Laura’s upper arm.

“OW!” Laura whined.

“WHAT were you doing out here alone?” they chastised.

“I wasn’t alone!” Laura said, “I was with Carmilla, we were hunting and, well…”

“Who’s Carmilla?”

Laura gestured to the unmoving body.

“You’re hanging with vamps now?” LaF eyed her up and down, then their gaze moved back to Carmilla. “Wait… wait… this is the girl you were dancing with last night.”

“Yeah. Only she wasn’t a vampire last night.” Laura’s voice was quiet, melancholy, the dread of the truth finally crashing down on her. Carmilla was dead, a vampire now in her place.

“Damn, Laur, I’m sorry,” LaF said, squeezing Laura’s hand for comfort. “I’m still pissed you’re out here alone, though.”

“Wait, why are _you_ out here alone?” Laura countered, turning to face LaF. They blushed.

“Well, you know, testing…” they said, holding up the crossbow and giving a mischievous grin. They turned back to Carmilla.

“Seems like it worked…” Laura said, looking down at the brunette. She so badly wanted her to wake up and crack a joke, or look at her the way she’d looked at her that morning, tracing her finger along the Hufflecup, making casual conversation about sparring…

“So, you gonna take care of her?” LaF said, an edge in their voice.

“What? No. I…I’m not gonna kill her,” Laura stuttered.

“What? She’s a vamp, yeah? And this is what we do, yeah?” LaF asked.

“Laf I…I don’t think I can,” Laura’s voice was sullen, low, like she was doing her best not to spill her sorrow onto the wet path below their feet.

“Lemme see your face, Laur,” LaF’s hand was soft on her cheek. She looked up at them, and their eyes scanned from her forehead to her chin, and then back to her nose. “That’s gonna have to be reset,” they mused. “She do that?”

Laura shook her head.

“I killed him.”

“Good,” LaF said, then gestured to the brunette vampire on the ground.“Well, you don’t want to kill her, we can’t leave her here, what do we do? We don’t have a lot of time.” Laura considered. “And don’t say you’re going to take her home and lock her up or some crazy shit.” Laura set her lips in a tight line and looked up at LaF, a guilty expression crossing her face. “LAURA, NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT.”


	4. A Really Bad Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and LaF capture a vampire. Gulp?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I told myself yesterday that I'd post a new chapter when I passed 500 hits, and you guys did it way sooner than I expected, so here ya go.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

LaF’s complaints were loud and plentiful as they and Laura shared the task of carrying Carmilla’s body through the park.

No, Laura was not going to chain Carmilla to a chair she knew the vampire could easily break, but she was going to take Carmilla to LaF’s lab where there were several… um… “comfortable cells” they could place the vampire in until they figured out what to do with her.

“This is kidnapping, Laur. And holding someone hostage…” LaF huffed, trying to shift Carmilla in their arms to get a better grip. The rain was still falling fast, and the girl’s body was slippery.

“Kidnapping a vampire,” Laura muttered.

“What am I going to feed her when she wakes up? I don’t have any blood bags.”

They turned out of the park and onto the sidewalk. Luckily the night was quiet, everyone must have been inside due to the ever-building storm. The streets were practically beginning to flood, and Laura was slightly grateful. After all, that’s just what they would have needed: people staring at two tiny humans carrying a body through the streets.

“I’ll bet Perry can get us some in the morning,” Laura said, then her ankle gave out beneath her and she fell to the ground. Carmilla’s body slammed onto the concrete of the sidewalk, LaF backing away from the whiplash of losing their grip on the vampire. Laura winced, reaching down toward her wound.

“Laur! You okay?”

Laura groaned.

“I, uh, I got bit,” she said, wincing again.

“Let me see,” LaF said, walking over to Laura and gently lifting the leg of her pants. The marks were deep. Blood was still trickling slowly from the wound. Mud had found its way into the holes in the flesh.

“This is bad, kid,” LaF said, examining her ankle. “We need to get this clean.”

“What fresh new hell was _that_?” A husky, slightly slurred voice wafted toward LaF and Laura.

_Oh. Oh no._

Carmilla sat up on the concrete. Laura and LaF watched as Carmilla pulled the (now dead) electric arrow from her shoulder and tossed it onto the sidewalk.

She looked around, and her eyes fell on the blonde and redhead behind her. A grin began to form on her face as she stood slowly, lithely, like the predator she was. But Laura watched as the smile shifted into a frown as the girl started to sway.

“Aw fuck,” she said as Laura and LaF saw the vampire fall onto the ground, not completely knocked out, but drugged up enough to have her eyes opening and closing like she was constantly on the verge of falling asleep.

“Wha… what?” Laura asked. LaF was wearing a proud smirk on their lips.

“There’s a sedative in the arrowheads that gets released if someone pulls the arrow out,” they said. “For added protection,” they finished with a grin. “Come on,” they wrapped their arms around Laura. “Can you stand?”

LaF helped Laura onto her feet, and she tried to apply pressure to the ankle. It was painful, but she could get it onto the ground.

“Guess I won’t be fighting next weekend,” she said.

“Not on that ankle,” LaF speculated.

“Well that and my opponent is a vampire now,” Laura said, looking down at Carmilla.

“Your opponent? “ LaF’s face scrunched in confusion, then their eyes lit up. “Wait, little vamp’s Carmilla _Karnstein_?” They asked, looking down at the brunette with surprise.

“How many other ‘Carmillas’ do you know?” Laura asked, laughing a little.

“Touche, Hollis, touche,” LaF said. “Come on, we may be able to get this one on her feet, she’s sedated enough not to attack us, but she may be able to put one foot in front of the other if we each take a side.”

LaF and Laura pulled Carmilla up, hooking her arms around their shoulders.

“And we didn’t do this earlier because…?” Laura asked, trailing off at the end, giving LaF a side-eye.

“Because if she woke up we needed a back-up plan! And look at that, we needed it.” LaF stuck their tongue out at Laura. The tiny kickboxer returned the gesture.

* * *

Laura insisted on spending the night in LaF’s lab, despite LaF’s protests that Laura could stay on their couch in the apartment above.

They secured Carmilla on the bed inside one of the cells, then closed the clear, electrically fortified door behind them. Laura pulled a chair up and sat herself right in front of the cell. LaF scoffed.

“You need to clean up before staring at your new vampire girlfriend all night,” they said, pulling the chair (and Laura) away from Carmilla’s vestibule.

“Uh, not my girlfriend, she tried to eat me,” Laura said, and LaF raised an eyebrow suggestively. “Okay, five, you know what I meant.” But Laura blushed all the same.

“Come on, I’m serious, I need to clean that bite up,” LaF said. “Take your pants off.”

“Yeah, cupcake, take your pants off.”

Laura and LaF turned to see Carmilla sitting upright on the bed inside the cell, her eyes fixed on them with her head cocked to one side. They both stared at her.

“Oh, I’m so sorry for interrupting. Please continue. I’ll just HANG OUT QUIETLY IN THIS CAGE,” she growled, standing and rushing toward the cell door. Electricity fired, knocking her to the ground. She winced, sitting up on the floor. “Oh, joy.”

“Guess I need to up the sedative…” LaF mused to themselves as they started toward the sink.

Instead of removing her pants, Laura followed LaF. She rolled her pant leg up, checking in on Carmilla every now and then while LaF worked on cleaning her wound. After a few minutes, LaF had removed all the dirt they could and perfectly wrapped the bite in a waterproof bandage.

“I’ll go grab you some clothes,” LaF said. “Keep an eye on her,” they finished quietly, shooting Carmilla a death stare as they walked to a back door and started up the stairs.

“I’m highly embarrassed that you and science swotter managed to get me in this prison, gotta be honest, cupcake.”

“Laura.”

“Apologies,” Carmilla said. “Cutie,” she added with a smug smirk. “So, you, me, a cage… gotta say, this is kinkier than I would have expected from little old uptight you.”

“You know nothing about me, demon.”

“Demon? Your words slay me, sundance.”

“Laura,” Laura said again, hitting her name harder this time.

“Apologies,” Carmilla repeated. “Cutie,” she hit the nickname as hard as Laura had hit her own name.

Laura rolled her eyes.

LaF came back through the rear door a few moments later, carrying an armful of clothes.

“Here, Laur,” they said, handing the stack to Laura, who took them and shot a look at Carmilla before stepping out to change.

She closed the bathroom door behind her and let the tears fall freely. She’d been holding them back for quite some time, but as she looked at herself in the mirror, back up against the door, her dams finally failed her.

She slowly climbed out of her sopping clothes, ruined and stained with rain, mud, and blood, and cleaned the rest of her body under the shower. LaF had one in the bathroom of their lab in case of emergencies. “Never know what you might get where,” LaF always said.

Laura ran her fingers over her face and cringed when she pushed down a little too hard on her nose. She peeked out of the shower into the mirror: it was definitely crooked, and most definitely broken.

_Shit._

She finished her shower and pulled the sweats and oversized, faded Silas Univeristy hoodie on over her head and stepped back into the lab. LaF was wearing their enormous noise-canceling headphones and staring at Carmilla, who was pacing around the cell, yelling loudly.

“YA JUST LOCK ME UP. ASSUMING I’M GOING TO MURDER EVERYTHING THAT WALKS. SO TYPICAL. OH YEAH, STAND THERE LOOKING LIKE - oh, hey cupcake.”

“My. Name. Is. Laura,” Laura shouted at the vampire, slapping the door Carmilla was imprisoned behind.

“Why. Are. You. Yelling?!” Carmilla screamed back.

“YOU’RE YELLING!”

“I’m locked in a cage! I’m hungry! And you’re as tightly wound as a violin string, GODS YOU’RE ANNOYING!”

“In the name of all that is Science, STOP!” LaF shouted over the bickering women. “Now Laura, if you want to stay down here and keep watch over your new little pet all night, fine,” LaF said. Carmilla began to protest. “I am not done, vampire,” LaF spat. “You touch one hair on this woman’s head and I will use your fangs as decorations.” Laura looked over LaF with admiration: she’d never seen them like this. They stepped closer to Laura. “You both need to keep quiet, and here.” They handed Laura a loaded crossbow and a lantern. “Just in case something happens in this storm with the electricity,” they whispered in her ear.

“I have superhuman hearing, neo-nerd,” Carmilla said, her eyes focused on flicking her nails.

“You want breakfast tomorrow, Carmilla?” LaF said, advancing on the cell. Carmilla looked up lazily. “Then shut the hell up.” Carmilla raised a brow but said nothing more. “Good vampire,” LaF said, then turned on a heel and walked toward the back door. “Laur, if you need anything-“

“I’ll holler. I know, LaF. Thanks,” Laura said, offering her friend a smile. They smiled back, scowled at Carmilla, then closed the door behind them.

“Alone at last,” Carmilla said.

“Do you always have to do that?” Laura asked after a second, her voice meeker than she would have preferred.

“Do what?”

“Make literally everything I do or say about sex?”

Carmilla’s eyes widened every so slightly.

“I don’t do that, cupcake, pretty sure your brain is doing that all by itself.” She winked.

“You just did it! Right now!”

“Did I? Or did _you_?” Carmilla asked, sitting down on the bed in the slowest way possible.

“You are infuriating,” Laura huffed.

“Oh, because you’re such a walk in the park.”

“I told you we should wait for the pack to split up. We wouldn’t be in this situation if you’d listened.” Laura looked away when she said it. Carmilla bit her reply back. Laura looked back and saw a flash of guilt in Carmilla’s eyes. But as fast as it was there was it gone.

“I’m not used to taking orders, cupcake, what can I say? I wasn’t born yesterday,” Carmilla’s voice was low, almost humming.

“No, you were born tonight,” Laura spat, her tone coming out far rougher than intended.

“Ouch,” Carmilla said, only half-joking.

Laura could have driven several semis through the pauses that followed. She and Carmilla desperately tried to look anywhere but each other, but their eyes kept somehow finding their way back to one another. After what felt like an eternity, Carmilla finally broke the silence.

“You could have gotten rid of me when I was knocked out. Why didn’t you?” She looked up, and Laura could sense a twinge of something in her tone, in her eyes… was that… respect? Insecurity? Some kind of vampiric moral compass?

“I don’t kick an opponent when they’re down,” Laura said. “As someone that was about to face me this weekend, you should know that.”

“You sure that’s all it was?”

“Kill someone when they’re knocked out? Yes, I’m sure ‘that’s all it was’,” Laura said, but she couldn’t even convince herself. There was something about Carmilla that made her head fuzzy and her hands twitch, even as a vampire. She knew she’d found the woman attractive when they danced at the bar, when she’d seen her that morning, when they’d fought earlier that night, but as she stood staring at the demon that wore Carmilla’s face, she knew: she never wanted to hurt the girl standing in front of her. And it was killing her to lock her up.

“Okay,” Carmilla said nonetheless, shrugging her shoulders. “Cupcake?” Carmilla asked quietly after a few moments.

“Laura,” Laura corrected her for what felt like the hundredth time that night.

“ _Laura_ ,” Carmilla said, and it took Laura by surprise. She turned to the vampire, awaiting the rest of her request. “Since I can’t drink directly from the source, do you think you could help a girl out and get me something to eat? I’m starving, here.”

As if on cue, the door to the lab flew open. A pale redheaded woman, breathing heavily, stood in the corridor, blood bags in hand. Her normally curly hair laid plastered to her head.

“LAURA EILEEN HOLLIS.” Her high pitched squeal was wrought with concern. “YOU CAPTURED A VAMPIRE?!”


	5. The Mourning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla may not be the big, bad monster they all thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have been so kind as to stick with this for a few chapters! I'm so glad you're enjoying it, it's a lot of fun to borrow these characters and write something for them.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

Carmilla had sucked down two of the blood bags instantaneously, despite the despondent look on her face. Laura couldn’t help but assume they didn’t taste that great. Perry had proceeded to chastise Laura non-stop for twenty minutes straight before Laura’s eyes glazed over and she started falling asleep.

After an additional ten minutes of Perry droning on and Laura’s eyes rolling back into her head, Carmilla finally spoke up.

“You wanna shut your trap and let the little creampuff sleep? I mean look at her. She stopped listening to you fifteen minutes ago,” Carmilla drawled from her spot on the bed.

“Well of course you’d try to get me to quiet down and go upstairs,” Perry said, her lips forming a tight line.

“I said nothing about going upstairs, but I’m sure you and the lab junkie make an adorable couple.” Carmilla smirked her signature smirk. “I just said you should let her sleep. Her nose is broken, she was part-eaten, give her a break.”

Perry blushed at the mention of her and LaF, but composed herself by the time Carmilla was done speaking.

“Laura, dear, I’m going to go make you some tea.”

“Hhhmmph,” Laura replied, half-asleep from her spot in the chair.

* * *

 Laura woke hours later to a large breakfast ready for her on the lab island, a hot cup of cocoa sitting next to it. For a moment, she didn’t recognize her surroundings or remember what had happened. Then everything flooded back, including the throbbing pain in her face and ankle. And the rest of her body.

“Argh,” she moaned, stretching out and standing up.

“Take it easy there, Frosh,” LaF said, coming up behind her and trying to pull her back down into the chair.

“No, LaF, I need to stretch,” Laura half-slurred, still not fully awake, her brain lost in the aching cascading through her.

“You _need_ to take it easy and eat something, creampuff,” Carmilla said, her concern shocking both Laura and LaF. “Oh what did I say wrong now?” she asked, flopping herself onto the mattress, her hands flying up into the air.

“Eat your breakfast, Laura,” Perry said, walking into the lab from the back door.

LaF offered Laura a smile and a small shrug, and Laura reached for the plate and fork in front of her, taking a bite of the fruit and pancakes. She very nearly moaned at the sensation.

“I’d say ‘I told you so’, but no one’s listening,” Carmilla said quietly.

“I have to go to work,” Perry began, bustling around and pulling her jacket on. “Laura, you keep yourself safe. I’ll bring someone by later to check on your face, you look awful. LaFontaine… make sure Laura doesn’t do anything stupid… er.” She pursed her lips and gave the two of them the once over. They glanced at each other, the corners of their lips turning up into grins as they blushed. “I’m serious,” Perry finished.

“We know, Perr,” LaF said, rolling their eyes. Perry didn’t move. “Sorry. Thank you for your concern, Perry. We will be careful,” they said, their tone softer now. They walked Perry to the door and gave her a small kiss on the cheek before she disappeared into the street.

“I have to run some errands, Laur,” LaF said, turning to face Laura as soon as Perry was out of earshot. “Think you can keep yourself out of trouble?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, she’s not a child,” Carmilla growled under her breath. LaF and Laura turned toward her, shock on their faces yet again. Laura may have had a hint of flush in her cheeks, too, from the other woman defending her. _May have_. Maybe.

“I mean, you’re not wrong, but thank you?” Laura said, a little uncertain. Carmilla rolled her eyes and shifted so she wasn’t facing them anymore. Laura turned back to LaF. “I’ll be fine. Go do whatever you need to do.”

“We really need do need to do something about your nose, dude. Perry was right, your face is massively bruised,” LaF said, stepping closer to Laura for a better look.

“She said she’d bring someone by later. Probably JP. I’ll be fine,” Laura reassured them, referring to their friend JP that was in his first year of residency at the same hospital where Perry worked in human resources.

“Well there’s ice in the fridge. Put something on that.”

“I know how to take care of breaks and bruises, LaF. Boxer, remember?”

“I know, I know, I just-“

“Get overprotective. Like everybody in my life,” Laura said, but there was a hint of humor in her tone. “Now go do what you need to do.”

Laura gave them a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.

Ten minutes later LaF was heading out the front door to pick up an array of things they had told Laura about… though Laura had no idea what any of it was nor what LaF would use any of it for. But she listened attentively and nodded regardless.

After LaF left, Laura retrieved some ice from the freezer, packed it up in a towel, and held it to her swollen face as she looked at her reflection in one of the lab mirrors. Different shades of red covered her cheeks and under her eyes. She really did look a mess.

“You don’t have to stand watch, creampuff, I think your cell is doing a good job of that all on its own,” Carmilla said, staring at the ceiling from her spot on the bed. “And it’s not like anyone’s going to come looking for me. We are as lonely in death as we were in life, right?” The way she said it made Laura’s heart jump into her throat. It came out carefree, almost sarcastic, but underneath there was something sad, quiet… forsaken.

“…I would have come,” Laura said after a brief pause, testing the waters of how far she could vocalize what was on her mind. Carmilla sat up and lifted an eyebrow.

“Oh really?”

“I met a cute girl that took care of me when I was drunk, made me coffee in the morning, gave me her number, and invited me out. If you’d suddenly disappeared, I might have asked around about you,” Laura said, coy.

“Asked around about me? My knight in shining armor.” Carmilla stood, that sarcastic smirk dancing its way across her lips.

“I meant what I said last night,” Laura said, placing the ice on one of LaF’s islands covered in bunsen burners and vials.

“Which part? You talk a lot, cupcake.”

“Laura,” Laura said automatically. “And I meant that you are insanely self-aware for a baby vamp.”

“I’d prefer you call it almost anything else. Fledgling, please.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna call you baby vamp.” Laura smiled. Carmilla sighed and offered a small half-grin in return.

“You’re impossible, cupcake.”

“Laura.”

“Oh no. If you’re going to call me ‘baby vamp’, I’m going to call you whatever the damn hell I please.”

“That’s fair.”

“And don’t think I’ve forgotten that you called me ‘Carm’.”

“I think it suits you.”

Laura couldn’t deny it, Carmilla may have been turned, but she seemed… the same. Their banter was effortless. The small glances they shot at one another when they thought the other wasn’t looking, the way Carmilla made her blush…

“That break is pretty ugly,” Carmilla said, stepping forward to the door of her cell.

“It’s not too bad. I heal fast.” Laura stepped in closer, too.

“How’s the ankle?

Laura lifted her pant leg to show off the bandage. Carmilla winced, gasping, and Laura looked down. Black veins were peeking out from above the wrapping.

“Gods Laura, didn’t you clear the venom out?!” Forgetting about the electrified door, Carmilla walked forward in concern. It zapped her to the ground.

“Oh, Carm, I’m sorry!” Laura lurched forward but stopped when she was a few feet from the door. Carmilla’s eyes met hers.

“S’okay. You’re still afraid of me.” She stood, brushing herself off. “Ginger geek must have something around here you can rub in that wound. It’s poison, sundance, surely you know that?”

Laura’s cheeks flushed. She’d heard rumors, but she’d been lucky to escape ever having been bitten. No one she knew had ever been bitten. No one except Carmilla.

After a few minutes of talking with LaF on the phone, most of which was spent calming them down for how stupid they felt that they’d forgotten about the poison, Laura found a syringe filled with an anti-venom they were working on.

“It has to be administered at the wound site,” they’d said. “Damn, I’m sorry, Laur, that’s gonna hurt like a bitch.”

The last sentence echoed in Laura’s mind as she gingerly undid the bandage. The bite mark was very nearly black, and reeked. She gagged as she reached for the syringe. Hands shaking, she tried to bring it close to one of the holes in her flesh, but she couldn’t keep herself steady.

“Come on, Hollis, you’ve faced worse,” she whispered to herself.

“Oh for all that is unholy, Laura, let me do it for you,” Carmilla said, standing as close to the door of the cell as possible without touching it.

Despite Laura’s desire to let the vampire out of her cage, something inside her told her not to. Carmilla was right, deep down Laura was still afraid of her. And she had every right to be: the woman was a vampire! An adorable, lonely, flirty mess of a vampire, but a vampire!

_And that’s what vampires do, Hollis, they seduce._

_She wants to help! Didn’t you see her jump toward you when she saw the wound?_

_She’s playing you._

_She is not!_

The two parts of her were at odds.

“You’re thinking so loudly I can practically hear it,” Carmilla said. “You’ve got all that concern bunched up all over that face. I promise I don’t bite.” Laura turned to her, eyebrows raised. “Okay, I do, but I won’t.” Laura still hesitated. “You can put me back in here right after.”

Laura stared at the door, at Carmilla, for a few seconds, then back to the bite. Her hands were still shaking, there was no way she was going to be able to do this by herself. Wounds weren’t normally an issue for her, but needles… needles she wasn’t so fond of.

“You can take your time deciding, creampuff, I’m not getting any older.”

Laura had to laugh a little at that, and then a great surge of guilt cascaded over her like someone had dropped gallons of it onto her body. She was the reason Carmilla had been turned. If she had just paid attention… if she had insisted they wait for the pack to split…

“Ugh, fine,” she finally said, walking over to the cell and typing something into the keypad next to it. The small crossbow LaF had given her the night before sat tightly in her grasp.

The door swung open and Carmilla and Laura stood staring at each other for a few seconds. The gentility and grace with which Carmilla stepped forward and picked Laura up almost caused the slightly smaller blonde to lose her breath. Carmilla sniffed deeply, and her eyes scrunched shut for a second, her body tensing.

“This is harder than expected,” she said, and when she opened her eyes, her pupils were dilated.

Her fangs descended.

“Carm…” Laura said slowly, her body tightening within the arms of the brunette. “Carm, put me down.”

Carmilla lowered Laura’s body so the woman was standing next to her. Her eyes were full of hunger, her body still as a statue.

“Bag, bag,” she said huskily, repeating it over and over like a chant.

Laura’s eyes darted around, looking desperately for a blood bag.

 _Fridge, right,_ she thought as she rushed toward the refrigerator and opened it up, revealing a few of the bags Perry had brought over the night before. She grabbed one, then felt something brush the hair on her neck away. She shivered, goosebumps dancing up her spine and across her shoulders. She turned around to see Carmilla stepping back, her knuckles clenching so hard they were ghostly white, her jaw tight.

Laura held out the blood bag to her, and Carmilla ripped it from the other girl’s grasp, sinking her fangs in and drinking deep. Hungry growls and moans escaped her, extraneous blood messily dripping down her chin and pooling on the floor. She finished in a matter of seconds, her blown pupils slowly returning to normal, her body releasing its tension.

She dropped the bag to the floor, her eyes following. Her body slumped over.

“I… I’m sorry…” she said, her voice low and cracking. “I didn’t think…”

Laura’s stomach dropped. She’d always heard stories about redemptive vampire crap, mostly from the media she’d consumed over the years, but she herself had never met one. The woman in front of her was nothing like the predator she’d faced last night. Her fingers found their way to the brunette’s chin, and she slowly lifted her head.

Blood dripped down Carmilla’s cheek from her right eye. Tears. Of course. Vampires cried blood.

“Baby vamp can’t control her cravings?” Laura said quietly. Carmilla dropped her gaze again. “You were so determined to kill me last night, but this… Carmilla… what is this?” Laura asked, pulling Carmilla’s chin up again.

“Kill you? You thought that was me trying to kill you?” Carmilla asked, both shame and humor coating her voice.

“Well, um, you chased me all grr argh and then with the, ‘I like you rough’ and… oooohhhhh…” Realization hit Laura as hard as the vampire that broke her nose the night before had. “Oh.” She blushed, and it was her turn for her gaze to fall to the ground.

Carmilla wiped the blood from her mouth and stepped over to a sink. She methodically washed her hands. That’s when Laura noticed it: Carmilla was still covered in dried mud. They had forgotten to let her get cleaned up.

“Oh, Carm, I’m sorry. You’re filthy.” Laura was dripping with apology as she stepped toward the woman. Carmilla said nothing as she turned and picked Laura up again, even more gently than before if such a thing were possible. Grabbing the anti-venom, she carried the girl back to her cell and laid her down on the bed. Laura watched as Carmilla steadied the syringe in her hands and leaned toward the charcoal-colored bite mark on her ankle. The brunette’s eyes met hers and she gave a small nod.

Carmilla leaned her lips down to the wound and offered it a small kiss. Laura’s eyes fluttered closed.

“This is going to hurt, Laura,” Carmilla said quietly. Then a burning like nothing Laura had ever felt tore through her leg as the needle was nestled inside the mark. A scream ripped its way from her lungs. Carmilla drained the syringe as fast as she could and pulled it out.

“Shhh, shhh,” she said, tossing the needle aside and holding Laura steady.Laura whimpered, curling her body into a ball. After a moment, Carmilla reached toward the other woman slowly.

“Give me your ankle,” she said gently, nearly purring.

After a few seconds, Laura complied. She watched as the vampire leaned in toward the mark again and began lapping at the two holes in her skin with her tongue. The burning began to subside. Relief, exhaustion, and a little bit of... something else coursed through Laura’s body. Hey, she was only human.

“Wha-what are you doing?” she huffed, trying to catch her breath.

“Our saliva heals, dummy,” Carmilla said, continuing to lick the wound until she was satisfied she’d coated it enough to speed the process along considerably.

“You know so much about vampires. What, does that knowledge just drop into your head when you’re turned?” Laura asked, sitting up on the bed. Carmilla sat down next to her and Laura watched as a contemplative glaze fell over the other woman’s face.

“My sister was turned a few years ago. I know most of what there is to know,” she said, her eyes far away as if she could reach into the past if she stared hard enough. The confession pulled at Laura’s heartstrings, but before she could say anything, Carmilla made a joke. “Plus I’m a hunter, cupcake, we need to know these things.” There was that eyebrow and that grin again. “Was. I was a hunter,” Carmilla finished solemnly. Laura’s soul was sobbing.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, Carm,” she said, and an inexplicable tear fell from the spring of her eye. _That_ came suddenly: the onslaught of guilt, sadness, and sympathy.

“Never say never, cupcake. Like I said, I’m not getting any older.” Carmilla’s whisper was so quiet that it crept into Laura’s ears as a low hum. Nay, a prayer. A hope so intimate, so holy, to speak any louder may mean the gods would never hear.


	6. I Can Take Care of Myself, Thank You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny's not so keen on Carmilla.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah and here we are again, everyone. Another chapter in our little tale.
> 
> The next two or so weeks are going to be crazy for me at work but I have at least one other chapter besides this one in the bag so hopefully I'll be able to post.
> 
> Grateful you've all stuck with me so far and seem to be having as much fun reading as I am writing.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

Laura and Carmilla's quiet solitude was broken almost immediately.

“What the hell, Laura? LaF said you had it locked up!” Danny was bounding into the lab, coming full force toward the cell. She dropped the paper bag she was holding by the lab’s entrance.

Danny Lawrence was over six feet tall and made mostly of lean muscle. She may be intimidating to anyone else, but Laura caught Carmilla’s lips turning up in a mocking smirk when she saw the woman stop in the doorway of the brunette’s prison.

_Oh great. A pissing match._

“Danny, it’s okay, she was helping me,” Laura said, very nearly cooing, and she noticed Carmilla glance at her out of the corner of her eye.

“Laura, come on, you know better than that!” Danny said, stepping through the corridor into the cell.

“Take one more step and it will be your last.” Carmilla’s eyes narrowed, and Danny gestured from Carmilla to Laura.

“See?” she said, exasperated.

“Carm, stop. Danny, _stop,_ ” Laura said harshly. Both women looked over at her, utter shock coating both their expressions. “Carm, Danny’s just being protective. Can you blame her?” Laura said quietly, offering Carmilla a small squeeze on the hand. “And Danny, Carmilla was helping me my with ankle. I got bit last night.”

“Oh I’ll bet you did,” the tall redhead snarled.

“Not by her,” Laura said, standing up and blocking Carmilla, who was also trying to stand and go after the much taller woman. “And if you two can’t keep this macho bullshit in check,” she continued, turning to Carmilla, “I will lock you back in here,” then she turned to Danny, “and kick your ass out. Got it?”

The other two women clenched their jaws and nodded. Carmilla sat back down quitely on the bed and Danny stepped out of the corridor.

“Good.” Laura said, the ferocity in her voice surprising even her. She left Carmilla’s cell, and she swore she could hear a low growl from Carmilla’s throat at her absence. Once she was outside the door, Danny slammed it shut with a force much more than was necessary.

“Danielle Lawrence I was _not_ kidding about kicking you out,” Laura said, making her way back to her breakfast.

“Sorry,” Danny mumbled. “I just worry, Laura.”

“I can take care of myself, thank you,” Laura said as she took a sip of her now-room-temperature cocoa.

Danny walked over to the entrance and picked up the bag she had been carrying when she walked in. She brought it over to Laura and opened it.

“A belated birthday present. I think they got a little broken…” Danny trailed off as she removed the little pink and white striped box from Laura’s favorite pastry place a few blocks over.

Laura looked up at her and grinned.

“They’ll taste the same. Thank you, Danny,” she said as she took it from the taller woman gladly.

Danny took a look at the smaller blonde's face, surveying the damage.

“You want me to take care of that?” she asked, reaching toward Laura’s broken nose. Laura winced.

“Um… yeah I guess you should. Perry was gonna bring JP over later…”

“Ugh, no. I’ll do it,” Danny said, and it made Laura laugh a bit. Danny and JP were always so competitive when it came to medicine.

Laura held her eyes closed as she felt the taller woman get closer to her and softly feel around her nose and sinuses for a second. Then a very faint CRACK filled the air as hot pain seared behind Laura’s eyes.

“There we go,” Danny said, stepping back.

“Ahhhhhh,” Laura whined, her fingers gently rubbing her face. “Thanks. Ow. But thanks.”

“You still want to train today?” Danny asked, eyeing Laura’s her ankle.

“I don’t think I’ll be fighting next weekend,” Laura answered, deflated. “Plus Carmilla is a little indisposed so I have no one to fight,” she finished in a whisper.

“Karnstein. I knew you looked familiar,” Danny said, turning to Carmilla’s cell.

“Right. I’m sure I’ve popped up in a fantasy or two of yours,” Carmilla drawled, and Laura rolled her eyes.

“Oh please, you’re not my type,” Danny snorted.

“No, I’m sure you like them quiet and _boring_ ,” Carmilla said, sauntering up to the cell’s door. “Hanging on your every word, doing everything you ask, ‘yes Danny, no Danny’, oh I can just see it. Doomed to an eventually sexless existence. Enjoy that.”

Both Danny and Laura’s eyes fell first on each other, then to the floor.

Danny and Laura had once dated, and it had ended not unlike Carmilla just described. Laura had followed Danny like a lovesick puppy dog for awhile, and then they get together. They went hot and heavy for a year before it teetered out, and they’d spent another year trying desperately to make it work. But the spark was gone. It had started out as the best sex the two women ever had, and ended up the worst. They remained close friends, but it had taken months of being apart to realize that was ultimately all they wanted from each other.

Laura’s blush betrayed her.

“Oh, oh no cupcake, please tell me you didn’t-"

“ _Cupcake_?” Danny nearly yelled, turning to Laura, who was desperately trying to drown the rising awkwardness in a mouthful of cookie.

“Yes, cupcake,” Carmilla snapped. “She’s sweet and decadent and nothing you need but everything you want and she’s way too good for _you_ ,” she finished, nearly spitting. Laura’s blush deepend, and she looked away from Danny’s horrified eyes.

Danny eventually turned to Carmilla and spoke so slowly it was almost offensive. “You don’t know me, vampire. And you sure as hell don’t want to.”

“You’re right about that,” Carmilla said nonchalantly. “We done here?”

“For now,” Danny said, staring daggers into the leather clad vampire. “Laura.” She turned to the girl, and Laura looked up, her mouth still filled with cookies. “We won’t train today but I want to meet with you later and talk about physical therapy. If you got bitten in your Achille’s, you’re going to need it.” Her voice had shifted to a professional tone. Laura knew it well, it was Danny’s Sports Therapist voice. “And keep icing that nose. Ya look like hell.”

“Thanks, D,” Laura said flatly.

Danny nudged Laura’s shoulder.

“You know I’m kidding. You’ll always be cute to me. Even with a broken nose. Even smelling like vampire.” Laura appreciated the rapport she and Danny had developed since the breakup: it was genuine, caring, and there was always a sense of humor underneath. “Call me later?” she asked, but Laura knew it wasn’t a request.

“I will. Come by my place around 5? We can have that talk?”

“Glad to.”

Danny glared at Carmilla once more before leaving the lab.

“Isn’t she just a ball of sunshine.” Carmilla’s sarcasm coated each and every word.

“Be nice, Carm.”

“I know no such way, stardust.”

“I beg to differ,” Laura said. “I think you’re a softie.” Carmilla scoffed. “A little softie baby vamp.”

“You’re treading on thin ice.”

“That’s the best kind.”

They stood in sassy but amicable silence for a moment, before Carmilla finally spoke.

“Cupcake?” Laura raised her eyes to meet the other woman’s. “You said something about me being filthy? You mind if I, uh, shower?”

Laura debated for a few moments before letting Carmilla out of the cell and escorting her to the lab’s small bathroom. She offered the vampire a towel.

“I could probably grab some clothes from upstairs-“ Laura began.

“Ugh, no, I’d rather stay in my dirty outfit than wear anything that could be considered geek chic, creampuff,” Carmilla said.

Laura laughed silently to herself and began to close the door behind the brunette.

“You’re… not going to, um, make sure I don’t try to escape?” Carmilla said, hints of both sarcasm and guilt in her voice.

“Well I’m fairly certain you can’t escape from that tiny window, so I’ll just stand right outside the door,” Laura said, her face beginning to flush at the thought of the other woman showering.

She stood watch outside the door for ten minutes as Carmilla cleaned herself up. Then the brunette walked out of the bathroom, clad in still-dirty clothing, Laura could swear she had a scent on her skin that didn’t belong to any of the soap LaF kept in there.

_How the hell does she smell so damn good all the time?_

She watched as Carmilla walked back to her cell and sat down on the bed. Laura followed, stopping outside the corridor.

“It’s okay. You can close it,” Carmilla said, her gaze meeting the blonde’s. “I told you I won’t hurt you, but you do whatever makes you feel safe.” She swung her legs up on the bed and laid down onto her back, looking away from Laura. 

When LaF returned later, they spent a good chunk of time reprimanding Laura for opening the door that morning and letting Carmilla out, even if just for a few moments. Danny had, in true fashion, texted LaF and Perry to let them know of Laura’s indiscretion.

“I couldn’t give myself the antidote, LaF!” Laura finally was able to protest amidst LaF’s rant. “And the venom was spreading up my leg! Carmilla helped me,” she finished, shooting the vampire a small smile. “I’d appreciate if everyone could stop treating me like I don’t know how to make decisions.”

“You went hunting alone last night!”

“I. Was. Not. ALONE.” Laura normally wasn’t one to raise her voice particularly high, sure sometimes she found herself overly emotional or stressed, but she’d always prided herself on being able to keep those things in check when talking to her friends, especially LaF. But this was getting obscene. “That was a situation that got out of control and you know that. Stop holding it over my head.” She flopped into a chair. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Carmilla raise an eyebrow in her direction. Laura pretended not to notice.

“We worry.”

“Yes, I’m _acutely_ aware,” Laura said, taking a seat. “But she controlled herself, even in a moment of temptation.”

“I don’t need to hear anymore, thank you,” LaF said, half their mouth lifting in a knowing grin.

“Okay, that’s not what I meant.” Laura’s eyes rolled in LaF’s direction. She looked down at her phone and saw it was nearly 5 o’clock.

_Shit. Danny._

“Shit! I have to go, I’m meeting with Danny at 5 to talk physical therapy for my ankle.” Laura stood quickly, and noticed that Carmilla’s body tightened just slightly.

“Go, Frosh, you need to get that taken care of,” LaF said, still unpacking their things from their many, many bags.

Laura turned to Carmilla. “Are you okay? Do you need anything, are you hungry?”

“I’m good, cutie,” Carmilla began. “But I can’t promise I’ll stay that way if ginger snap starts talking my ear off.”

“Please,” LaF countered, scoffing.

* * *

Laura was only a few minutes late to her apartment, and luckily Danny hadn’t arrived yet. Laura hated being late, it contracted all her muscles and made her stomach feel like it was pushing its way into her throat. She relaxed considerably when she received a text from Danny: _Running behind. Be there at 5:15. Sorry, L._

Laura changed into sweats and took the extra ten minutes to see if she could fight at all. She squared herself in front of the punching bag and winced as she threw her first punch. It hurt, but not as much as she’d expected it to. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

A buzz from her phone pulled her from her thoughts. She let Danny inside, and unlocked her door so the taller woman could get in once she’d gotten upstairs. It didn’t take long before the redhead was coming through Laura’s front door. Before she said anything, Laura could tell she was in full doctor-mode.

“Sit down on the couch and pull your pant leg up,” she ordered. Laura did as requested.

“We really should get some you crutches, L,” Danny said after a few minutes of examining the wound and Laura’s ankle. “It’ll heal much more quickly.” Laura huffed. She’d been on crutches twice in her teens and hated it. “I know it’s not your favorite thing…” Danny began.

“That’s an understatement,” Laura said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“It won’t be for long. Whatever LaF’s anti-venom did, it’s healing you fast,” Danny finished as she rolled Laura’s pant leg down for her.

The edges of Laura’s lips couldn’t help but turn upwards. She knew it wasn’t LaF’s concoction, but Carmilla’s saliva that was mending her.


	7. Siblings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mattie comes into the equation... bringing a plan with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 101 kudos? You all flatter me. 
> 
> Work is nuts, as are some other side projects I have going on, but I find a great deal of solace and comfort in writing this piece, so it's quickly becoming my quiet time. 
> 
> Hoping I can update one more time this week besides this, but I don't make promises I can't keep. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and sending me kudos and comments. You are all too sweet.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

Danny insisted Laura stay home that night instead of returning to the lab. Moreover, Danny insisted Laura stay home while Danny stayed over. The redhead laid stretched out on the couch while Laura tried desperately to sleep in her bed, but it was no use. Her entire Friday and Saturday was playing out in her brain - meeting Carmilla, dancing with Carmilla, having coffee with the girl, dealing with post-vampiric Carmilla… the last forty-eight hours had been the most insane of her young life. And that was saying something.

Laura had watched her mother wither away and die of cancer when she was younger. In high school, when Laura struggled with coming out, she got beat up twice - once so badly her leg got broken, and yet also she somehow was lauded for being the best lacrosse player to ever grace those hallowed halls. Laura, despite what her small stature would suggest, had never gotten much of a chance to be a child. Between an over-protective dad, a sick mother, excelling at school and sports, sleeping secretly with half of the girls’ hockey team in high school… Laura had never been given much of a chance to discover herself beyond those things. Maybe that’s what drew her to journalism: the ability to glance into a myriad of things. But what was she truly good at, what did she really like? She loved writing, boxing, _hunting…_ cookies _…_ but what else?

She liked… Carmilla.

She pulled the comforter over her head, groaning. Was it morning yet? The darkness gracing her room told her no, told her it was an _ungodly_ time to be awake and thinking about anything at all.

“Argh,” she grunted into her pillow, thrashing about desperately in her bed.

Suddenly the eerie feeling of not being alone crept up her spine, leaving a trail of goosebumps. She may not have been the best hunter in town, but she’d honed her skills enough to know when to trust her gut. Her eyes surreptitiously shot around the room: nothing. But that didn’t mean much.

She knew she had one of two choices: jump right into attack mode or play it like she couldn’t sense that something was up. She chose the latter as she attempted to stand as languidly as possible while still trying to keep on edge. She cracked her neck and stretched out as she walked to her bedroom door, through the hallway, and out into the darkened living room, where the feeling was even stronger

_Someone’s here. Someone besides Danny._

She looked over at the taller woman sleeping on the couch, legs hanging off. Danny looked about five years younger when she slept: the wrinkles and stress from her day-to-day life all but gone from her face. Laura had forgotten she looked so peaceful when she was sleeping. It was a look she often wished for when the woman was awake when they were a couple. Danny harbored deep struggles with her self-confidence, and hid it behind an overbearing exterior. Laura’s lips briefly curled up at the sight of the sleeping redhead, and then she diverted her attention back to her apartment.

She walked over to her fridge and retrieved a water bottle. When she could take no more of it, she spoke.

“I know you’re here. Come out and face me.” Her voice was icy but diplomatic. Foreign sounding. _Impressive, Hollis._

A shadow emerged from the corner of the room. It was not imposing, nor big. It was distinctly feminine, its essence heavy. Moving slowly, almost limping, it stepped forward one foot at a time. Laura gasped when she could finally make out...

“Carmilla?”

The vampire continued forward as though she didn’t even hear the girl. Laura’s hand flew to her mouth when she saw the other woman covered in blood. On her lips, smeared across her face, splashed on her chest. The vampire’s expression was glassy, smug, and horrified all at once.

“Carm?” Laura asked again, and the name barely flickered in Carmilla’s eyes. Barely. But something was there. The blonde rushed forward and was at the vampire’s side instantly, looking her over, checking for wounds. But there were none. A chilling revelation shot through her: _the blood isn’t Carmilla’s._

Carmilla turned to look at her, the fog in her eyes seeming to fade. One half of her lips turned up in a wicked grin.

“Oops,” she said, before her body was knocked across the room and into the wall by a once-sleeping redhead.

“DANNY!” Laura scolded, looking up at her.

“Oh sorry for pushing a blood-stained lifesucker out of your way, Laura, how _careless_ of me,” Danny said as both women turned to see Carmilla standing after the assault.

“Aren’t you just stronger than you look?” the vampire mused playfully.

“Danny, call LaF. Make sure they’re okay,” Laura said, not taking her eyes from the dead girl across the room from her.

“Laura-“

“I mean NOW!” Laura demanded, and Danny reached automatically for her phone.

“So domineering,” Carmilla’s voice was low, sultry, as she stepped forward.

“What happened, Carmilla? What did you do?” Laura asked, looking the girl up and down.

“What did I do? Oh, cupcake…” her voice trailed off, her eyes dragging over Laura’s body.

“LaF, oh thank gods you’re okay - wait, slow down - yeah - no - we know - she’s um - she’s here - yes, I know,” Danny spoke quickly, but all Laura could take in was that the blood on Carmilla wasn’t LaF’s. She breathed a small sigh of relief.

_But it’s_ **_someone’s_ ** _._

“Gods, Laura, get _back_!” Danny shouted, pulling Laura out of the way.

“She’s fine! She was fine earlier! Danny!” Laura struggled.

“She hadn’t freshly fed then, Laura. When fledglings get crazy hungry or crazy full, they can’t control themselves, it’s like being drunk _and_ over-adrenalized. You know this!”

Laura kicked herself. She _did_ know that. But Carmilla had controlled herself earlier. _What’s going on?_

“Easy, kitty cat, easy,” a cooing voice spoke from the shadows, and it was like Carmilla was an animal hearing its owner’s voice after months of them being separated. Laura’s eyes flew to the opposite corner of the room from where Carmilla had been hidden. There was someone else there.

**_Two_ ** _people in my apartment?!_

The owner of the voice stepped forward, regal as the rain was wet, carrying herself as if she alone willed the sun to rise in the morning. Hard edges, ebony hair that fell below her shoulders, dark eyes that shone like they had seen hell and come out on top. She was striking.

She stepped forward toward Carmilla and the vampire immediately clung to the taller woman, rubbing her cheek on her shoulder as if she was a small kitten.

“Mattie,” the vampire hummed, territorial. “Hungry…” Her whimper was low, so low Laura didn’t know if Danny had heard it. But Laura had.

“Carm, hush, you’ve just fed,” the woman Carmilla called Mattie said, and Carmilla instantly quieted, though her whimper still escaped her lips.

“Fed?” Laura and Danny said at the same time.

“Yes, dear, I couldn’t have her living off the blood bags you were giving her.”

“You let her kill someone?” Laura’s voice was high with surprise, and her eyes glazed over Carmilla’s body. Surely this would change the vampire. Surely.

“A homeless man in an alley, half pint. Really the world will be better off, as will the man.”

“That’s unethical,” Laura drawled.

“Ethics,” the other woman huffed. “Nothing more than a fancy human word for _sentimentality,_ dear. I couldn’t have her undergoing the turn feeding on hospital scraps. She’d be dead tomorrow.” Laura and Danny looked at each other and then back at the unknown woman, confused. “Fledglings need _some_ fresh blood or in a matter of a day or two they become shells, bent on only killing and feeding. And they never return to their old selves.”

“She… she didn’t tell me that,” Laura whispered, and her eyes fell to her feet for a brief second. She heard a low scoff from Danny beside her.

“Of course not. Carm always has been a bit… stupid when it comes to her pretty little things,” the woman said, her eyes looking Carmilla up and down.

“Sorry, who are you and why are you in my apartment?” Laura quickly changed the subject before having to think too hard about being referred to as one of Carmilla’s “pretty little things”.

“Matska Belmonde. Carmilla’s sister. Charmed I’m sure,” the taller woman spoke toward Laura and Danny, her fangs descending. “What, pray tell, have you done to my dearest little sis?”

“What have _we_ done?!” Laura stammered.

“I worked tirelessly to keep her safe, to train her and keep her from a death like mine,” Matska said, her domineering tone making her seem far taller than even Danny, though in truth she was shorter than the redhead. “But I must say, it is stunning to see her like this.” She looked down at Carmilla, whose cheek was still against her shoulder. “Shall we paint the town red, pet?”

“Now wait just a second-“ Laura said, stepping forward.

“ **Silence**.” Matska’s tone lost the shred of warmth it had before and both Laura and Danny seemed to cower just slightly, Danny reaching for Laura’s hand and holding it in a vice grip. “That’s better,” she said, as if she hadn’t just quieted the room with her voice alone. “Carmilla has told me what happened last night, haven’t you dear?” Matska said as she looked down at her younger sister, whom nodded. It was strange to see Carmilla so… submissive. No snarky retort, no husky sarcasm. “Let us sit.”

Matska pulled Carmilla to the couch and sat them both down, then waited for Danny and Laura to do the same, but Laura couldn’t seem to make her feet move.

“I won’t wait all night,” Matska said impatiently.

Laura squeezed Danny’s hand and the two women pulled two stools over to sit in front of the couch where Matska and Carmilla sat.

“Now, once again, I am Matska Belmonde. You may call me Mattie if you prefer. I find it somewhat rude the two of you waited for a second introduction to tell me your names.” Mattie raised an eyebrow. “Humans, so typical.”

“I’m, uh, Laura… Hollis,” Laura said, her throat dry.

“Danny Lawrence,” Danny said, and Laura could tell she was doing her best to keep her voice steady. It was working, the redhead sounded completely in control. Bored, even.

“You’re Carmilla’s sister?” Laura asked, her eyes flying back and forth between the two women. They looked nothing alike besides their strong jawlines.

“We were in the same foster family growing up,” Mattie said.

“Mattie watched out for me,” Carmilla said, finally seeming to snap out of the animalistic pet part she had been playing for the last few minutes.

Laura flinched as Carmilla grabbed her stomach and began panting.

“Mattie, I’m-I’m so hungry-I’m-“

“Yes, pet, yes I know you are,” Mattie said, pulling the girl into a hug and stroking her hair.

Carmilla looked over at Danny and Laura, and her eyes began to glow a bright yellow. They met Laura’s and Laura could see something behind them, a struggle, an ache.

“Laura…” Carmilla whined. “It hurtssss…”

Laura stood to move toward Carmilla but Danny held her off. Laura shot the taller woman a death glare, but sat herself back onto the stool. Carmilla’s yellow eyes met hers.

“Put those away, Carmilla, we are here to be civil,” Mattie said, slapping the brunette lightly on the thigh.

“What have you done to her?” Laura’s frustration finally unstuck itself from wherever it had been cowering inside her body. “She was fine last night! And this morning!”

“Temper, temper,” Mattie cooed. “The change takes place over time, dear, it doesn’t happen all at once. She was ‘fine this morning’ because her body was still working through the change. Goodness, Carmilla, _this_ is the hunter the Underground has been talking about? The one you were raving about?”

Laura was both offended by the comment and found her cheeks flushing when she realized Carmilla had been talking about her. _Raving_ about her.

“What are you doing here?” Danny said, her voice still on edge.

“Well I’d like to know about that cage you had my dearheart locked in, for starters,” Mattie said, ice coating the comment.

“We-we didn’t know what to do with her,” Laura said.

“Yes clearly,” Mattie deadpanned.

Just then Laura’s front door flew open and LaF barged in, huffing, weapons hanging off them and a backpack thrown across their shoulder.

“I’m here! I’m-oh,” they said when they saw everyone sitting around Laura’s coffee table.

Laura saw Mattie’s eyes glow the same yellow Carmilla’s had.

“Drop them,” she said, her voice deep. LaF’s eyes glazed over as they dropped everything they were holding, including the backpack. Blood packs spilled out.

Carmilla leapt across the couch and crawled _,_ yes **crawled** , toward the packs, taking one in her mouth and biting down, sucking hard. For a moment no one moved or spoke, and the only sound filling Laura’s ears was the wet gurgling of blood sliding down the vampire’s throat, her low moans echoing off the walls as she drank.

“Close the door,” Mattie said, eyes still yellow and on LaF. LaF turned and closed the door, locking it. “Now come sit.”

LaF grabbed a stool and pulled it up alongside Danny and Laura. Mattie’s eyes shifted back to normal.

LaF’s eyes cleared and they looked around, confused at how they’d gotten across the room.

“What the…”

Carmilla started on another pack, the sloshing and moaning growing louder.

“Really, Carmilla, must you _gurgle and_ _moan_ when you feed?” Mattie drawled, looking over at her sibling. Carmilla stopped for a moment and pulled her teeth from the bloody bag. She looked… Laura nearly gasped. She looked _sheepish._ The brunette stood and wiped the blood from her lips, though all it really did was smear it around her already covered chin. She slowly walked back to the couch and sat down, then continued drinking. Quietly.

“Let us continue,” Mattie said. “I am here, regrettably, because Carmilla showed… interest in you,” she finished.

Laura flushed. _Interest?_

“Interest?” Danny said the question on Laura’s mind.

“Yes. As a hunter.”

“Whoa, lady, if you think we’re gonna let you take our L,” LaF started.

“Please, not everywhere is a _warzone. Humans,_ it’s always a fight.” Mattie huffed. “She showed interest in you as a hunter _for_ _us,_ not as a _threat_ to us. I needed to see for myself. And frankly, I’m not impressed.” She looked Laura up and down. Laura’s brow furrowed. _Rude._ “But Carmilla always has had a special spot on her heart for the… _sweet_ ones.” Mattie raised an eyebrow at Laura.

Carmilla pulled her teeth from the blood bag. “Mattie, stop.”

Carmilla was starting to return to her normal self. Normal? Could Laura say normal? She didn’t really know Carmilla’s normal yet… she pushed the running thoughts from her head. Not important right now.

“Look cupcake, this is gonna be a hell of a trip for me, but not all vampires turn and become grumpy murder machines.” Carmilla dropped the finished bag onto the coffee table.

_Make a note to wipe that up later, Hollis. Ew._

“I’ve been working with Mattie for the last few years on something _big._ I… wasn’t completely honest with you yesterday.” Her eyes moved away from Laura’s for a moment. “I knew who you were when we met on Friday.”

“I KNEW IT!” Laura stood.

“No, not like that, I wasn’t trying to get an edge up for the fight.” Carmilla was nearly stuttering. “I knew you - rumors, the talk from the Underground. I knew you from the _hunting circles._ ”

_The Underground, that name again. What is that?_

“The Underground? Hunting circles?” Laura’s brow furrowed.

“Oh yes, cupcake, you’re famous.” Carmilla smirked and raised her eyebrow at Laura, who blushed.

“Carmilla, you’re going to give the girl an aneurism, stop flirting and _tell her,_ ” Mattie said.

“Mattie, I’m working up to it-“

“You’ve heard of Lilita Morgan?” Mattie cut her off, getting straight to the point. The air seemed to leave the room and the lungs of the three people that needed it.

“…Y-yes.” Laura was the first to speak, her mind wandering back to the press release she’d seen the morning before.

Lilita’s reign went back hundreds of years. LaF had traced her throughout history, the murders, the riots, the turnings - she was a beast, a demon - even by demon standards. She was the _first_ vampire.

Not to mention she was the city’s most eligible bachelorette, gorgeous, in her early-forties (to anyone that didn’t know what she was, that was), and had amassed a business empire any mogul would sell their soul for.

_She probably did. If she had one to begin with._

Lilita was untouchable, as a demon, as a person of interest, as the head of her own company… The ‘Celestial CEO’ the media called her: paying her employees more than well, huge donations to charity, and all those enormous foundations in her name for the hungry and homeless here and abroad. And now the one for arts funding. She was an angel. A god, as it were.

That is, to anyone that didn’t know what she _truly_ was. Lilita _did_ do all the things they talked about in the media, but she also ran black markets and had a part in causing every major war since… well, since humans began walking the earth. She was a lover of chaos. A lover of watching humanity drive itself into the ground. Her foundations built people up, setting them carefully like dominoes, so she could turn around and knock them over.

“Dear old Mother has come back to town to play.” Mattie’s comment pulled Laura from her thoughts.

“Mother?” Laura coughed.

“Yes, dear, Lilita was our foster mother. And my sire,” Mattie said, a little irritated, as if the three people in front of her should have put that together earlier. “Haven’t you wondered why the murders have skyrocketed over the last year? Mother isn’t exactly subtle.”

“…What are you asking?” Danny said, cautious.

“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” Mattie said, more irritated still.

Laura, LaF, and Danny shook their heads.

“Oh gods,” Mattie rolled her eyes. “Really, Carmilla, I cannot comprehend you and the roaches you associate with.”

“HEY!” Laura, LaF, and Danny all objected at the same time.

“Mattie, that is isn’t helping,” Carmilla drawled, but the edges of her lips curled into a smile.

“Very well. We’d like you to help us finally eliminate Lilita,” Mattie said, as if she was asking them go get the mail or pour her a glass of water. “If we know of you, you likely are of interest to her. We have a plan in place where we shall… introduce the two of you, as it were.”

Laura’s breath caught in her chest. Sure she was a hunter but she’d never thought about going after _the_ vampire. Like _the_ one that started it all.

“This may take awhile. Have you any tea, dear?” Mattie said, her voice high as she looked glanced the kitchen.

_Gulp._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me and reading!


	8. ...A Really, Really Bad Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parts of the plan to take down Lilita are revealed, and Laura gets a promotion at work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Knock on wood, but while my hours have been quite long this week, the actual work in the production office has been pretty smooth, so I've had some extra time on my hands. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with this little story that my brain can't let go of. Your kudos and comments are always lovely and bring a smile to my face.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

They hadn’t parted ways until the sun was fully up and Laura’s brain was close to melting out her ears. Everyone had agreed to let Carmilla go with Mattie (much to the initial chagrin of the redheads), and Laura was glad she’d sent in her article the day before, because there was no well in hell or Hogwarts that she was going to get any work done today. Oh the beauty of freelance life.

So Lilita was back in the city. Of course she was, this was one of her greatest cities of influence. Laura could have kicked herself for not putting it together before.

She strapped herself into a pair of boxing gloves and stood in front of her bag like it was Carmilla’s mother herself. Moving slowly, she managed to get a good half an hour in before her ankle was screaming. Carmilla’s saliva may have had healing powers, but it wasn’t immediate. No, it would still take a bit to get her movement back.

She called Mel and let her know that she wouldn’t be fighting over the weekend.

“Laura, _what?_ _"_  the woman on the end of the line shrieked. Laura had never backed out of a fight before.

“Mel, I can’t. I…I got injured. Plus, Karnstein’s out of the running this weekend anyway…” Laura trailed off.

“Did you sleep with the opponent again, Hollis?”

“What? _No,”_ Laura said incredulously, though she couldn’t blame the feisty organizer for thinking so. She may have done it a time or two before.

“This is the worst,” Mel deadpanned. “People were dying to see you and Karnstein go up against each other.”

“Yeah, dying is one way to put it,” Laura scoffed.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

They ended the call with Laura owing Mel big time, probably with two big fights in one week or having Laura go head to head with a vamp in the ring. Humans and vampires didn’t typically fight together in the rings Laura frequented, but those kinds of underground matches made a lot of cash. Laura had cringed at the thought of it, but truthfully she didn’t know how much longer she’d be around once she started this mess with Lilita, so who gave a shit?

Laura huffed and tossed her phone down at the exact time it dinged with a new text message.

_Uuuuugh, WHAT?_ Laura thought as she picked it back up. Carm… illa. It was Carmilla.

    Baby Vamp: _You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, creampuff. It’s not your fight._

Of _course_ it wasn’t her fight. Or, well, it was. But it wasn’t. Sure Laura had taken a self-proclaimed oath years ago when she decided to take up hunting. She’d vowed to protect those that didn’t even know they needed protection! But she never saw herself scheming in secret on how to take down the first vampire. That was a whole new level of crazy.

She sighed and flopped down onto the couch. She’d all but agreed to be _bait_ in this endeavor. She was putting all her trust in two vampires she barely knew to hand her over to the Mother Vamp… and what’s more insane, LaF and Danny ultimately _agreed_ (after a good deal of arguing). It should have been comforting, but instead that thought stuck like lead in her stomach.

Carmilla was going to be presented to Lilita as a new vampire. Mattie had insisted that Lilita had been trying to turn Carm for years but Mattie had done her best to silently thwart the attempt at every turn. Now it was Carmilla’s time to face her mother, something she spoke about detachedly, with her eyes mostly stuck to the floor.

_What did she do to Carmilla?_

Laura wanted to ask the question, but she’d kept her mouth shut. It didn’t seem like they were quite at the “prying personal questions” phase yet.

After Carmilla had comfortably gone through her turning and was back in Lilita’s good graces, Laura would be openly “courted” by the brunette (a prospect that both made her heart race and stop at the same time), so that the journalist could be paraded around and Lilita could get a feel for the girl. So that Lilita could get her hands on the girl. Laura was ultimately going to be _given_ to Lilita. _Offered_ for some kind of sacrifice Mattie had spoken about in great detail but Laura couldn’t quite keep up with.

“Don’t worry, cupcake,” Carmilla had assured her, “we’ll be going through all this step by step as we go.”

Danny had been the first to say no, and Mattie and Carmilla spent a great deal of time convincing her otherwise, that they weren’t going to let Laura get hurt. LaF, too, had been reticent, but they were much more receptive to everything Carmilla and Mattie talked about. How could they not be? Curiosity was LaF’s greatest weapon… and perhaps their biggest flaw.

Laura’s body was wracked, begging for sleep, but she couldn’t turn her brain off. Instead she ran a hot bath and dumped half a bag of fragrant epsom salt under the water’s flow as she slowly stripped out of her clothes. Sinking into the tub, she let her body be enveloped in warmth. This whole ordeal would certainly make for a series of interesting articles, if she even survived it.

That’s the last thought she remembered having before drifting to sleep.

She awoke an hour and a half later to light pouring into her bedroom and by extension, the bathroom. Her body was wrinkling in the now cool water and it sent a shiver down her spine. She stood, stretching, craning her neck from side to side to get rid of the kink that had developed from the awkward angle of the bathtub.

Her phone was flashing on the sink with missed messages. She unlocked it to take a look: she’d missed a few calls from Betty, her boss at the magazine she freelanced for.

_Ah shit._

Before listening to any of them, she dialed the perky blonde’s number and called her back.

“Betty! I’m so sorry!” Laura was nearly stumbling over her words as she wrapped herself in a towel.

“Laura, whoa, take a breath,” Betty said through the phone. “Did you even listen to any of the messages?”

“…No,” Laura said sheepishly. Betty’s high pitched giggle came in reply, and Laura was sure she was probably rolling her eyes on the other side of the line.

“We’re sending you over some photos to look at as possibilities for your article. It’s good, Hollis.” Her tone was sincere, and Laura knew that while Betty was a fair and kind editor, she never blew smoke up anyone’s butt.

“Wow, Betty, thank you. To be honest, it was a bit of a hard one to write…” Laura trailed off.

“Well you couldn’t tell by reading it. To be honest, it makes me want to give you a monthly, with smaller weekly online articles to supplement. Would you be up for that?”

Laura’s cheeks flushed. _Of course_ she’d be up for that! A steady income, getting to write about the things she thought people needed to read… it was all her little heart desired. And would certainly move her in the direction of being taken more seriously as a journalist. Sure they were only going to be blurbs in a magazine, but if she was allowed to tailor them to what was going on in the city… or to what she was going to face with Lilita… this could be a _good, good_ thing.

“Earth to Hollis…” Betty’s voice came from Laura’s speaker.

“Oh, oh sorry I spaced out there for a second,” Laura laughed.

“So I gathered,” Betty said, but Laura could sense her smile even through the phone.

“I would love that, Betty. Thank you,” Laura said earnestly.

“Great. Come down to the office today at 3, we’ll go over some things and get you set up, you’ll be getting a cubicle. Don’t worry, you don’t have to sit there dutifully all day, so long as you can meet your quota and give me stuff as good as this one.”

“I’ll be there at 3.”

“Great. See you then. I’ll tell Gina to let you straight onto my office,” Betty said, referencing her highly motivated, if not slightly over-eager, assistant.

“Great. Thank you.”

“Thank _you,_ Laura.” And with that, Betty hung up.

Laura did a kind of Snoopy dance over the news. She’d wanted to work full time for Betty since she’d started freelancing for her a year and a half before. And she’d finally done it.

She went through her phone to see what else she’d missed while she was sleeping - a group chat with LaF and Danny, they wanted to get together later and discuss everything. A text from Perry, _I’ll have you know I disagree with this charade Laura, but you must decide what’s best for you. I support you and LaFontaine but dear… this does sound dangerous…_ Perry, always the mother.

In the moment, with Mattie, Carmilla, LaF, and Danny by her side, Laura had felt confident about the plan. Now in their absence, the anxiety began to set in. What would happen to her with Lilita? What was pretending to date Carmilla going to be like? …What was having to go to Lilita’s swanky parties going to be like? And mostly, was Carmilla going to be different after she was fully done with her transmutation?

_Uuuuuuuuuugh._

Laura huffed and threw her body onto her bed. Then another fear crept into her: how was she going to keep her new job _and_ be fake captured by the city’s most notorious CEO? What would she say? ‘Uh, sorry, Betts, I have to get locked up by a vampire for a bit, but I promise it’ll be a hell of a story.’?

_Friggin’ dammit._

Her phone buzzed. Carmilla.

    Baby Vamp: _You okay, cupcake? You didn’t say anything before…_

A warm feeling crept up through Laura’s chest. Was little baby vamp… worried that she hadn't texted back? Was she worried Laura was backing out? There was something endearing about the idea that Carmilla was thinking about her, concerned that she hadn’t said anything.

_I knew it. She’s a sap,_ Laura thought, smugly grinning to herself.

Laura took a few careful moments to craft a text back: _I’m fine, baby vamp, I just fell asleep._

Buzz.

    Baby Vamp:  _I hate that nickname. Sorry if I woke you. Glad you’re okay._

Laura smirked and texted, _I love it, so it’s staying. You didn’t wake me. I won’t lie, though, this is scary. It makes me nervous._

Laura wrote and rewrote the text at least ten times, unsure if she should express so many emotions about the plan so soon. But she rarely hid what she was feeling, it was something she prided herself on. Honesty in all moments. Definitely to a fault. She finally sent it and got a reply almost immediately:

     Baby Vamp: _Do you want to talk about it?_

Laura stared at the words. _Did_ she want to talk about it? She didn’t know. Well, she did know, because she did in fact want to talk about it. But did she want to talk about it right then? That was the question.

_If it’s not an immediate, resounding yes, then it’s a no, Hollis,_ she thought.

She replied with, _I’m fine,_ to which she got an _instant_ phone call in response.

“You’re _fine_?!” The growl on the other end of the line startled Laura a tad.

“Uuuugh, Carmilla, I _am_ fine,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Antiquing is _fine…_ well actually it’s kind of terrible. But _normal_ people are ‘fine’, Laura,” _she called me Laura,_ “run of the mill is ‘fine’, you agreeing to be a pawn in my mother’s game is not _fine._ ” The snarl was apparent through the call, and goosebumps formed on Laura’s skin.

“…But I thought it was what you wanted?”

“Would you do everything I wanted if I asked you?!”

_Probably._ “No, but-“

“Cupcake, you are brave, and true, and all kinds of righteous, and I appreciate it, but you do not have to be _fine_ with this. It’s okay to be nervous. Or scared. Or angry.” Carmilla took a breath. “I’m angry.”

“You are?”

“That my shitbag of a mother is _still_ controlling my life, even in death? I’m livid, stardust. That she’s making you nervous and creating a situation where our best plan is to put you in the middle of it? I’m fucking fuming,” Carmilla finished, her voice so angry it was almost inhuman.

“…Do _you_ want to talk about it, Carm?” Laura was hesitant to ask, but this seemed more about Carmilla than it did about her, so how could she not?

“This isn’t about me.”

“Isn’t it?” The question lingered in the air, pregnant, heavy. Maybe too far. “I’m sorry, I-“

“Do _not_ apologize. She doesn’t deserve it,” Carmilla spat.

“It’s not for her.”

“I don’t deserve it, either.”

_Oh. This is about so much more than Lilita._

* * *

Calming the vampire down had not been easy. But since when was anything with Carmilla _easy_?

Laura took in the crisp air as she passed street sign after street sign on her way to meet Betty. Eventually she’d used the meeting as an excuse to get off the phone with her doomed faux romance.

Carmilla was ablaze, and Laura couldn’t blame her. She didn’t even know the whole story of what had happened with Lilita, but she didn’t need to. Carmilla had told her quite enough for one day.

The woman had locked Carmilla in the basement for days at a time when the girl was fourteen. It wasn’t long after Mattie had been turned, and somehow Lilita blamed the small brunette… despite the fact that it was, in fact, Lilita that had turned Mattie.

_How the hell was Carmilla to blame for Lilita’s actions?_

This had been the exact question Laura asked, and the answer was no less infuriating than expected. It had been _Carmilla’s_ fault Lilita had gotten so out of control that night, _Carmilla_ had pissed the woman off so much that she’d turned to Mattie and drained her dry, allowing the woman to drink from a vein only to keep her from dying.

_As if_ **_that_ ** _would keep her from dying. She’s still_ **_dead_ ** _._

Lilita locking Carmilla in the basement as a punishment had apparently not been anything new, but locking her in a _box_ in the basement? That was… a new level of torture.

_Disgusting wretch._

Laura turned the corner and was face to face with the building where she would soon have an office, but the blood in her veins was boiling. She looked at her phone: she still had ten minutes before she had to meet Betty. She needed to cool down or the other blonde would sense something was off. She was far too astute not to.

Laura’s hands flexed in and out of fists of their own accord. Passersby glanced at her out of the corners of their eyes. Well, she was mumbling to herself and pacing back and forth in front of the entrance to the building, what could she expect?

“Laura?” Danny’s soft tone pulled Laura from her own running mind. She looked up to see a set of concerned eyes staring down at her. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, hey Danny. Nothing, I’m good. I’m cool,” Laura said, trying desperately to sound like the words she was saying. But they came out awkward and slow.

“Convincing,” Danny said, her lips curling up into a smile.

“Do you think I’m stupid… for agreeing to do this?”

Danny took a deep breath and looked away from Laura’s eyes.

_Oh here it comes._

“Laura, you are one of the most thoughtful, precise, organized people I have ever met.” Danny was looking at her now with a kind of admiration Laura wasn’t used to seeing from the taller girl. “I don’t think you’ve ever made a stupid decision in your life.”

“Danny, I…”

“You’re my best friend, Laura. And if you want to go ahead with this plan, if you want to take down the badass queen of badasses, I will try my damndest not to be… _too_ overbearing. And I will stand underneath you and hold you up for as long as my arms can lift your tiny self.”

Laura could feel tears forming behind her eyes. Danny wasn’t ever the kind to be sentimental, or to even express much beyond her hard exterior. It was one of the things the women used to fight about when they were a couple.

“Thank you, Danny.” Laura stood up on her toes and threw her arms around the tall redhead, who accepted the hug and offered an equally enthusiastic one in return.

“See, I’m getting better,” Danny said as they pulled apart, and the offered the tiny journalist a wink.

“I’m sorry Carmilla said those things to you,” Laura said, noting that her bottom lip had found its way between her teeth.

“I can handle Snark Attack, don’t you worry.”

“You sure you want to follow me down this rabbit hole?”

“And miss the opportunity to give Carmilla hell and torch the mother of all vampires?” Laura grinned at Danny’s smirk. “Plus you might need a medic on your side, and what am I going to do, let JP steal all the fun?”

“We couldn’t have that,” Laura said, the corners of her lips turning upward. “I love you, Danny.”

“Please Laura, contain your sentiments. We’re in public,” Danny said, her smile creeping up her face.

“Loser,” Laura laughed.

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you from all the way down there.”

Laura swatted her friend on the arm as her phone began to buzz.

“Oh shoot, I have to meet with Betty in five minutes. Better get up there. Thank you, Danny, really.”

“Anytime, Laura. You wanna get a drink later?”

“I’d literally rather do nothing else.”

“Later it is. Call me.”

“I will!” Laura shouted after Danny as she walked inside the building. She couldn’t help but beam with pride about the woman her friend had become. Danny had never had it easy, she’d had three older brothers, all of whom were (somehow) taller, faster, stronger, and smarter than she was. If Danny made JV, her brother made Varsity. If she came home with an A, her brother came home with two. She’d spent her life dancing around a spotlight she could never enter, and she’d learned to pretend she didn’t want to. With anything.

Laura’s thumb pressed the up button for the elevator and she stood, waiting, her blood buzzing under her skin with excitement. Despite everything that was happening, she was getting the job she’d worked so hard for! She was practically humming by the time she reached the fifteenth floor and the doors opened into the crisp, modern lobby of _A to Z,_ the outlet she wrote for.

Gina was sitting attentively behind her desk, furiously typing away on her laptop like her life depended on it. She looked up and met Laura’s gaze.

“Oh, hi Miss Hollis! Betty is just finishing up a meeting. She’ll see you in just a few minutes.”

“Laura is fine, Gina. Call me Laura.”

“Laura it is, Miss Holl- I mean, Laura,” Gina said, grinning, far too over eager.

Laura smiled and shook her head. The girl could be… a tad intense, but her heart was often in the right place.

Soon Betty was showing Laura to a small cubicle in the tiny journalist’s favorite corner of the office. It was next to a large window that overlooked the sprawling city and one of its large parks.

Beaming, Laura sat down at the sparse desk that would soon be filled with her computer, notes, and various pictures of herself and her friends on many of their outings. And obviously the Hogwarts crest. Maybe she’d put up some photos from when she’d won boxing matches, too.

“I thought you’d like being over here,” Betty said, smiling down at Laura.

“Oh, Betty, it’s perfect. Thank you!” Laura was suddenly overcome. Maybe it was Danny’s flood of emotions, or maybe it was everything that had happened over the weekend, but tears began to fill the small blonde’s eyes.

“Laura, whoa, what is it?”

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I’m just so excited. And really, really proud,” Laura said, sniffling a little, shooting the taller blonde a grin.

“You should be proud. Your pieces just keep getting better and better. I can’t wait to see what you bring to us next.” Betty said, a glint in her eye.

“Actually, I wanted to talk with you about that. I have something… that’s pretty big.” Laura bit her lower lip and lowered her voice. Betty looked around at Laura’s sudden change of tone.

“My office?”

“Yes,” Laura said, following her boss across the room toward her corner suite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	9. Straight From the Source

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura discovers Lilita owns an unsavory establishment. We finally get some of Laura and her father. And Carmilla is a rather stubborn, rather sappy baby vamp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WonderCon has been a great source of inspiration this weekend, so I'm giving you all another chapter.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.
> 
> And as always, thanks for reading. It means a lot that you all leave kudos and comments or are just popping by to read and enjoy.

“You mean to tell me that you have access to the city’s, hell, the _country’s_ most prominent CEO and eligible bachelorette?” Betty asked quickly, hungrily, and Laura nodded.

“Well, not yet, but it’s in the works.”

“What does that mean?” Betty raised an eyebrow, suddenly a bit wary.

“I… I can’t tell you everything, Betts, it’s complicated,” Laura began, her eyes trailing downward.

“Laura…” Betty said, trying to coax something out of the small writer.

“I know someone very close to her that wants to… introduce the two of us,” Laura said, trying to vocalize what she meant without revealing too much. _Not working so well, Hollis._

“Are you saying your friend is trying to set you up with Lilita Morgan?” Betty seemed to be getting more confused rather than less.

“No, well… no.” Laura was finding this to be far harder than she expected. Maybe she should have waited to bring this up. “She just wants us to meet. To get to know each other.”

“It sounds like she’s trying to set you up.”

“She’s really, really not.”

“So who is this mysterious friend? May I at least know that?”

“She’s, um, she’s a new friend,” Laura was nearly wringing her hands in her lap at this point under Betty’s slightly scrutinizing glare. _Definitely should have waited to mention this story, genius._

“A new friend comes out of nowhere and suddenly wants to introduce you to a jouranlistic goldmine. Intriguing. Well, you have my seal of approval. Providing you give us something good.” Betty raised her eyebrows and smiled.

Laura exhaled, some of the built up tension leaving her body with it.

“Thanks Betty. I promise I won’t let you down.”

“Oh, I know it,” Betty said as she stood and began escorting Laura to her door. “I want to know as soon as you make arrangements to meet Ms. Morgan, and when and where the meeting will take place. Yes?”

“Of course, Betty. Thanks,” Laura said as she stepped out of the office.

“Wonderful. You’re on your way to the top, Hollis. I can feel it.”

The women shared a grin and Betty closed the door. Before Laura could do anything else, she heard Betty’s voice on the phone.

 _Busy as a bee,_ she thought, turning to Gina, who smiled.

“Glad to have you full time, Miss- um, I mean Laura. Here’s your paperwork. Betty said you can take it home and look it over. No rush. She wants you as happy to be here as she is to have you.” She gave Laura an enthusiastic smile and Laura returned it, taking the envelope of papers from the girl’s grip.

“Thanks, Gina,” Laura said, and with that, she swept out of the office, a bundle of excitement about the job and nerves about everything happening with Lilita. And even more nerves about saying she would write about it.

_Your tongue always gets the best of you, Hollis. Keep it in check!_

As she stepped out into the fresh air, a buzzing from her pocket revealed a notification on her phone. She had a text message. From Carmilla.

Baby Vamp: _You agreed to fight a VAMPIRE in the underground Black Box, Laura?_

Laura knew how to answer the question, but for some reason she didn’t want to do it in the middle of the sidewalk. She huffed, just wanting one quiet day where someone wasn’t ranting at her about her decisions. Was that so much to ask?

_Yeah, probably._

She also knew that moving forward she would have no more quiet days. Her brain suddenly materialized a picture of her father. She should visit him before she started this excursion. She should see him before… well… before she might not again.

It was the first time the idea of dying at the hand of Lilita had truly hit home for her. What if she really _did_ die doing this? For a couple of vampires she’d known for fifteen minutes? In a battle both inevitable and that felt so far away all at the same time?

Her father would have her head if he knew. He’d have it faster than Lilita Morgan could. It brought a strange smile to her lips, thinking of her father fighting the Mother of All Vampires. He could probably do it and come out swinging, too.

Rounding the corner, she scoffed under her breath as she passed _Viru,_ a ridiculously fancy restaurant with an equally ridiculously high price point. You couldn’t even tell what kind of food they served from the name, or the decor, and you couldn’t find _Viru_ online or through social media. It was all word of mouth.

A limousine sat parked out front. A handsome, crisply dressed driver got out of the car. He couldn’t have been more than twenty-four, and he had a well-trimmed beard running finely along his face. He reached the back door and opened it.

Lilita Morgan stepped out, and despite everything Laura had come to know about her, the journalist’s breath was still taken from her lungs at the striking sight of the woman in person, all leg in a form-fitting periwinkle dress. Laura might have been developing a giant crush on her baby vampire, but Carmilla's mother was  _gorgeous._ _Ew, Hollis. She's evil. Actually evil. And Carm's mom._

Laura’s eyes grew wide as someone else climbed out of the limousine behind Lilita. Carmilla was wearing a plunging blood-red dress that hugged her hips and stopped mid-thigh, and her feet were strapped into a set of killer black heels. She looked _incredible._ Lilita couldn't so much as hold a  _candle_ to Carmilla. Laura noted that the baby vampire also looked… bored. Lilita turned around to face the smaller woman, and Carmilla’s face immediately shifted: a smile half-lighting up her features. Carmilla may be able to play Lilita and the chauffeur, but the stiff way she held her body and the tightness in her lips clearly betrayed that she had no desire to be where she was.

The brunette’s gaze lazily made its way down the street, catching Laura’s. In unison, both women’s eyes grew wide and Carmilla cocked her head just barely, telling Laura to get out of sight. Laura, typically great on her feet, lunged awkwardly, almost comedically, from view into the corridor of what must have been a side door of the establishment.

Laura poked her head back out and saw that the faux smile on Carmilla’s face had become genuine upon the sight of Laura’s remarkable clumsiness. Then it faded and she shook her head at the small journalist, as if to warn her not to move until they were inside _Viru_.

The rest of the city may be under the impression that vampires couldn’t go out in the sunlight, but that myth was started, and perpetuated, by vampires themselves. It allowed them to move and hide in plain sight during the day, and Laura bet all her bones Lilita had been the one that started it.

Laura slunk back into the shadow of the corridor as she watched Lilita offer her arm to Carmilla. The brunette vampire set her lips in a tight line for a fraction of a second before taking her mother’s arm and giving the taller blonde a hard smile. Then the two women disappeared into the building. Laura sighed and dropped her body against the door behind her. It was promptly opened and Laura lost her footing, stumbling back.

“Sorry, miss,” a middle-aged man huffed, carrying a few bags of trash. Laura regained her stance and stepped out of his way as he passed her.

“No, no, I’m sorry, I’m the one in your-“ Laura stopped her rambling when she looked back into the kitchen of _Viru_ and saw that… it wasn’t really a kitchen at all. Well, it _was_ a kitchen, but no one was cooking in it. There were bodies, _human bodies_ , sitting limply in the large chairs that lined the room, having their blood drained. Nothing else upon them looked amiss, no wounds, nothing, just simply sitting down getting their blood drawn. The steady movement of their chests told Laura they were all still alive. A chill ran through her.

A grim realization dawned on Laura. Of course _Viru_ had no social media, no website, and was expensive and exclusive. It was a _vampire_ club.

And to put it in Carmilla’s words, it served blood straight from the source.

 _Well_ ** _that’s_** _a new development,_ Laura mused as she hurried back to her apartment. Her thoughts were racing: were those people on the list of victims from the recent attacks? Were they kidnapped? Were they _willing_? Furthermore, did Carmilla _know_ where she was? She had to know, she had to. She knew so much about Lilita and what she was doing behind the scenes, she had to know all about the place the CEO went to… feed.

Once she found her way back in front of the computer, Laura spent the next hour frantically scouring the internet for any information on _Viru._ They did, in fact, have a website. It had a sleek black background with the words _Viru_ painted across it, but nothing else besides the sentence, “An exclusive experience” in smaller, sprawling script underneath the establishment name. No photos, no contact information, not even an address.

She’d found her first article as a full time writer for _A-Z._ She’d have to be careful, she couldn’t expose everything about the restaurant. Club. “Watering” hole. Whatever it was. First she’d have to get someone to take her there. Carm? Maybe. Lilita? She shuddered to think of it.

The thought briefly crossed her mind that if, in fact, the people there had been willing, she could sign herself up and go. But she drove the idea away as quickly as it had come. Her friends would kill her. Hell, she would kill herself if she did that.

_But is it crazy, Hollis?_

_Listen, adventurous side, yes._

_Is it?_

_Don’t go pulling that, I’m not going to agree with you._

_I think you are._

_Your powers don’t work here._

_It feels like they’re working._

_You’re the worst._

**_We’re_ ** _the worst, cupcake._

Oh holy Hufflepuff, Carmilla’s voice was seeping into her subconscious and becoming her own. And that voice… well to keep it PG-13, that voice _did things_ to her.

Shaking her head, Laura retreated into her bedroom and retrieved her yoga mat from her closet. Carrying it into the living room, she methodically laid it out and began a series of simple sun salutations, focusing on her breath to center herself. She got herself into one too many scrapes in her life by being impulsive and thinking she knew everything when she didn’t, and if that taught her anything… well, it didn’t teach her much but if it did, it taught her to at least think for half an hour before jumping into something.

After twenty minutes of moving her body in sync with her breath, Laura began to feel more at ease, calmer, like a sense of balance was bring restored. Her phone buzzed and while the yogi in her said not to look at it yet, the curious journalist inside couldn’t help it. Such was her life.

Baby Vamp: _We need to talk. Tonight?_

Laura bit her lip. Despite the yoga, her curiosity was still bubbling over. She wanted to know what was going on inside _Viru,_ and, if she was being honest with herself, she was dying to know if Carm had partaken of anything while she was there.

 _Take me to Viru,_ Laura’s fingers typed before her brain could disagree.

Baby Vamp: _Cupcake, no._

 _Take me to Viru, baby vamp, or we don’t talk,_ Laura replied.

Laura was one to follow her heart if she had a crush, sure, but she was far worse when it came to following her obsessions in journalism. It was, and probably would always remain, one of her best strengths and most vehement weaknesses all at once.

 _You’re fucking with me,_ Carmilla texted, and Laura could envision the surprised look on the vampire’s face when she read Laura’s text, and then imagined it fading into that snarky, half-sinister smirk she’d come to know so well.

 _I’m not,_ Laura wrote back.

Baby Vamp: _I’m not taking you to Viru._

_Then we’re not talking. If I’m putting my life on the line, we do this my way._

_…Fine,_ was the last thing Carmilla said to her for four days.

* * *

 

Try as she might, Laura couldn’t get the vampire out of her head. She went to work and got her article organized with methodically picked out photos for the spread. Betty was so excited about it that Laura found herself almost forgetting about the woman who’d taken her words to heart and not spoken to her.

When she got home on the fourth evening of no communication with Carmilla, her phone buzzed just ask she placed it on the counter. Her heart jumped at the idea it might be the vampire. It, however, was her father.

“Dad!” she said excitedly. As much as he drove her crazy, she really did love him.

“Is there something you’d like to tell me, honey?” Her father’s tone was one she knew well: he knew something, something she should have told him but didn’t.

“Uuuummmm…” Laura wasn’t sure what was going to come out of his mouth, because based on her choices over the last week, it could have been any one of the things that had happened to her.

“Like how you hurt your Achille’s Tendon and didn’t tell me?”

“Oh. That. Yeah. Really, Dad, it’s fine, it’s-“

“Honey, I know you have friends that are doctors and I am so appreciative for Danny-“

“She called you, didn’t she?”

“Actually, I called her about something that’s been going on with my back…”

“Oh, now who’s holding out on who?” Laura countered, both concern in her voice and the ghost of a smile dancing on her lips. Her father loved it when she ragged on him.

“Well who’s the parent and who’s the child?”

“You tell me.”

A second passed before they both burst into laughter.

“I’m sorry, Dad, I’ve just been so busy with… training…”

“Still doing that fighting thing, huh?” Maybe he hadn’t intended it, but it came out as harsh and judgmental.

“Dad,” Laura said, stern. “If you want me to tell you things, don’t judge every choice I make. I train, I fight, I’m good at it. You’re the one that put me in Krav Maga when I was eight.”

“For protection!” he said. “But I don’t enjoy thinking about you getting beaten to a pulp in front of a crowd.”

“I got enough of that in high school, huh?” She’d meant it as a joke, but there was an awkward pause that followed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“No, no, you’re right.”

“Oh, I, um, I got a promotion…” Laura said, desperate to change the subject.

“Ah yes, another thing you forgot to tell me. That you finally got pulled on full time with _A-Z._ ” Now her father sounded genuinely hurt. Proud, but hurt. _I am not winning this conversation in any way, shape, or form._

“Oh, wow, Dad, you’re right. I’m so sorry. My brain has been so scattered…”

“Gotchya,” he joked from across the line.

“Dad! I hate it when you do that.”

“Honey, I’m so proud of you,” he said, the smile on his lips evident in his voice. “But I _do_ wish you would share these things with me when they happen.”

“I know. I meant to. Honestly. I’ve just been a little scatterbrained getting the article together,” _and fighting vampires and getting bitten and being pulled into some kind of sacrificial scheme,_ “I promise I’ll do better. But you have to promise, too, I don’t want anymore of this calling Danny about your back nonsense. I call her cuz she can come over and take a look at me. She can’t do that for you. Go to the doctor, Dad.” Laura’s tone had shifted into a graver one. Her father was quiet on the phone for a few moments before he spoke, and when he did, Laura could tell there were tears filling his eyes from the cracking in his voice.

“Sometimes you sound so much like your mother.”

Tears brimmed in Laura’s eyes now, too, as her words got stuck in her throat.

“Dad,” she began.

“Sorry, sweetie, I didn’t mean to-“

“No, I like it when we talk about her,” Laura said quietly. “I miss her, too, you know?”

“I do.”

Laura thought she had heard all the stories there were to hear about her parents before she was born, but she was wrong. She spent the next hour on the phone with her father, listening to all the shenanigans the two had gotten into when they were young and newly in love. His voice was so carefree, so effortless, so enthralling that Laura temporarily forgot about everything going on in her life and focused instead on listening to The Tales of Sherman Hollis.

Very few things could have pulled her from the joy of listening to her father talk so reverently about her mother. But after four days of nothing, a beeping of another caller and “Baby Vamp” flashing across her screen was one of them. Thankfully her dad had just finished another of his stories and she heard him yawn.

“I have another call, dad, it’s, uh, it’s work. And you’re tired. I should let you go.”

“Okay, honey. Thank you. I needed this more than you know. More than I knew,” her father said gratefully.

“Me too, dad. I love you.”

“Love you, too, Laura,” he reciprocated. Then the two hung up. Laura immediately answered Carmilla’s call.

“Am I to take this as a ‘yes’ to my query, then?” Laura said, getting straight to the point.

“You are one frustrating creampuff, do you know that?” Carmilla nearly snarled out.

“So feisty.” Laura said, smirk crossing her lips. She was surprisingly in control of her tone and emotions, considering her heart may have skipped a beat at seeing that Carmilla was finally calling her and she may have melted all the way down to her toes at hearing the vampire’s voice, even if it was more of a growl than anything.

“I can’t bring you to _Viru_ yet, Laura.”

“Then we have very little to discuss,” Laura said.

“Creampuff, I can’t bring you there yet because Lilita _owns_ it, and we’re _not_ _ready_ to have you meet her.”

“…Oh…” While it shouldn’t have surprised Laura, Carmilla’s declaration that Lilita owned the most exclusive vampire club in town did, in fact, shock her a bit. The desire to get inside the building was even stronger now, but Laura knew she couldn’t push it. Not yet. But the thought of finding a way in there was even fresher in her brain now than before. “Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?”

“I might have been enjoying giving you the small bit of satisfaction of keeping me on the hook," Carmilla drawled. "And I may have been torturing myself a little bit. Mattie has been teaching me to… restrain myself. Over more than just blood.”

Laura’s nose scrunched up in confusion. _What does that mean?_  

“I’ll bet your nose is doing that adorable bunchy thing, isn’t it, cupcake?”

“…No.” _Maybe._

“Thought so.”

“I missed hearing from you,” Laura blurted before she could stop herself. A low chuckle met her ears.

“It’s nice to know I’m so wanted.”

“Don’t let it go to your head, baby vamp.”

“I’ve missed you, too, Laura. Mattie doesn’t give me hell quite the way you do. And I really, really like getting hell.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Always so considerate.”

Laura found herself idly playing with the wound on her ankle. It was nearly healed at this point, and she could put all her weight on it without a problem. _They really should bottle vampire spit as some kind of healant…_ Laura thought, suddenly imagining picking up a tube of vampire saliva at the drug store. She giggled.

“What’s so funny, sundance?”

“My ankle’s almost healed. I was just imagining pharmacies selling tubes of vampire spit.”

“You are one weird little creature, cupcake.”

“Yeah, but I think you like it.”

“Can’t get anything passed you, can I?” Carmilla said, and Laura could hear that she was wearing her signature smirk. “So,” the vampire continued, “about us fighting in the Black Box together…”

_What?!_

“Wait a second, _what?_ ” Laura practically shrieked into the phone.

“Mel’s setting it up. You agreed to fight a vampire in the Black Box, did you not?”

“Well, yeah, but—”

“And people were ‘clamoring’ for the Hollis/Karnstein fight, were they not?”

“Yes, but Carm—”

“Well we have to give the public what they want.”

“Since when do you care about the public?”

“Since I met a member of the public that I don’t like to see hurt,” Carmilla said, and a chill ran across Laura’s body. The vampire was talking about her. How was she always able to unsettle Laura at every turn? How was it fair that everything about the woman was utter seduction, terrifying kill-machine, adorable joy, and mopey broody all at once? _Lame._

“Carm?” Laura said, attempting to change the subject.

“Hmm?”

“When do you think I’ll get to punch Lilita in the face for everything she did to you?”

The pure laughter that came from the other line was like music to Laura’s ears. She could tell that of all the things she could have said, this was the last thing the brunette expected.

“Let’s just get you in the same room as the demon herself first, okay cupcake?”

“…Fine.”

“And Laura?”

“Yes Carm?

“Just because you’re cute doesn’t mean I’m going to go easy on you in the ring.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way. Bring it on, _creampuff,_ ” Laura said, teasing Carmilla with the nickname.

“In fact, I think we should get together and run through a plan of attack. Give them a show they’re never going to forget.”

“I’m intrigued.”

“We get the crowd riled up, Mattie can bring Lilita…”

“Wait, whoa, Lilita?” Laura interrupted. “You want to bring her to a Black Box match?”

“Mostly just to see how disgusted she’ll be, but yes. It’ll be, forgive the term, your coming out party, Miss Hollis.”

_Well… shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens...


	10. A Brewing Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla begin to lay a plan, a friend gets kidnapped, and Laura thinks for... about 15 seconds before jumping into danger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say here except thanks for reading, commenting, kudos-ing, or just plain old lurking. I love to hear what you guys think of this.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

It didn’t take long for Laura to get to the address Carmilla had given her, but a sense of unease started to sink in as she turned the corner down a row of old, seemingly abandoned warehouses. She broke into a light jog in hopes of getting to Carmilla’s door faster.

When she reached it, she noticed the door itself looked like it had been replaced. There was no way this ornate, heavy, deep chestnut wood intricately designed with… were those logos from old punk bands carved into the grain?… was the original warehouse door.

She knocked and a few seconds later, Carmilla appeared. Laura was struck immediately upon seeing the vampire. While she didn’t really look any different, she seemed more angular somehow, harsher, but no less gorgeous than the first time Laura had lain eyes on her.

“You’re staring, cupcake, you okay?” Carmilla said, smirking.

“Uh, sorry, yeah, sorry, you just, um, I dunno, you look… different.”

“Well, you know, dying. Does things to a girl,” Carmilla mused, closing the door behind Laura when the journalist finally stepped through the corridor.

The foyer was simple, lined with a crimson wallpaper and not much else. At the end of the hallway was a large metal barn-style door that took up the entire wall, floor to ceiling. Carmilla stepped in front of Laura and pulled it to the side. It creaked on its tracks as it opened to reveal a huge loft-style apartment, nothing like what Laura would have expected from seeing the building from the outside.

Outfitted with sleek, modern appliances, the older, almost Victorian style decor of the place should have clashed, but somehow it didn’t. Neither did it clash with the corner of proudly displayed acoustic and electric guitars, the drum set, or the old club posters from underground punk clubs in New York and London from the 80s. Carmilla certainly had specific, eclectic tastes.

“You want anything? Beer? Water?” Carmilla asked, walking over to the fridge.

“Beer would be great,” Laura said, sitting down onto the deep burgundy Cabriole sofa.

Carmilla took two from the fridge and popped them open. She walked over to Laura and handed the woman one of the bottles, then turned and crossed back to the counter, casually leaning against it. Something was off, Carmilla seemed aloof, cold.

“Mattie has already spoken to Lilita about coming to the Black Box. She’s intrigued, mostly by the prospect of you,” Carmilla said, sounding oddly business-like. “We’ll play it as though the match is the first time we’re meeting, okay?”

“Got it,” Laura said. “You gonna stay all the way over there? I feel like I have to yell to talk to you.” Laura was hoping she could coax the vampire into feeling more comfortable.

“You smell quite good, creampuff, if you catch my drift. It’s safer if I stay over here.” Carmilla took a sip of her beer.

“We could have talked about this plan over the phone, Carmilla.”

“I like being around you. The change… hurts less, when you’re with me. Don’t ask me why.” Her voice was small, her eyes cast down and nails playing with the label on the bottle. The vulnerability in the comment surprised Laura almost more than the comment itself. “Selfish, I know.”

“Carm?” Laura asked, and waited until the vampire’s gaze met hers. “What does it feel like?”

“Like my organs are shifting in my body. Like they’re withering and decaying, then reanimating one by one. It feels like I’m dying, creampuff. Every second of every day since I turned, and it’ll be like that until the shift is over.” She finished her beer like she hadn’t just said one of the most terrifying things Laura had ever heard. “And I am so, unbelievably hungry. All the time.”

“When’s the shift over?”

“It’s different for - umph -“ Carmilla grabbed just above her rib cage on her left side, doubling over in pain.

“Carm!” Laura said, hurrying over to the vampire. Carmilla’s head shot up, her eyes yellow.

“ _Get away from me_ ,” the woman spat, growling, and while everything in Laura was screaming to obey, her feet couldn’t seem to heed the command. Carmilla groaned when Laura reached out and touched her shoulder.

“What can I do?”

“I SAID GET AWAY FROM ME!”

Carmilla moved to push Laura out of the way, but Laura’s instincts kicked in and she blocked the vampire, flipping her body around and pinning her arm up her back, shoving her front up against the fridge.

“And I said, what can I do?” Laura whispered surprisingly calmly into the vampire’s ear, holding Carmilla against the refrigerator. The brunette pushed against the smaller blonde, whipping around. With superhuman speed, her hand was at Laura’s throat, holding her a few feet off the ground.

Carmilla’s eyes were bright yellow, and Laura could have sworn they looked almost cat-like from the angle she was now seeing them from.

“Carm…” she gasped out, holding Carmilla’s wrist in a firm grip. “I’ll… break your… arm… if I have to…”

Carmilla said nothing. She looked vacant, or maybe she was concentrating. Then Laura realized she was staring at her neck. No, at her own hand around the journalist’s neck. Carmilla let her go and Laura crumpled to the floor. When she stood back up, Carmilla was still staring at her fingers. Where her nails should have been, the vampire now had claws.

Her hands were shaking. Upon closer inspection, Carmilla’s entire body was shaking. She groaned again and grabbed at her ribs. It was agony for Laura to see the brunette like this.

“I didn’t think it would… be so bad… today…” Carmilla said as Laura helped her over to the couch. She flexed her fingers and the claws shifted back into nails. It surprised Laura, but she was getting used to being shocked so there wasn’t much to say. ‘ _Oh crazy, you have claws now or whatever,’_ seemed a little obvious.

“So much for it being better when I’m here,” Laura mused quietly. Carmilla’s eyes squeezed shut, her face contorting in pain and guilt. “Do you need anything before I go?”

“Go?” Carmilla’s eyes shot up, meeting Laura’s, and Laura saw a silent plea for her to stay.

“Carm, this hot/cold stuff is getting old fast. Stay away from you, stay with you, it’s a little Edward Cullen, and a lot unbecoming. And attacking me in your kitchen…”

“I-I think the worst of it is passed, for now,” Carmilla hummed, straightening up and rolling her body. “While I am choosing to ignore your comparison of me to that horrific children’s book,” she began, offended. Laura rolled her eyes. “I didn’t say _stay_ away from me. I said _get_ away from me. And if I tell you that, you really should.”

“I held my own.”

“Save it for the Black Box.”

“You don’t scare me, Carmilla,” Laura said, crossing her arms in front of her chest and backing up a few steps while she settled her gaze on the vampire. Something flickered in the brunette’s eyes. Appreciation? Amusement? Apprehension? Some other ‘A’ word Laura couldn’t think of?

“That makes one of us,” Carmilla said quietly, looking away from the blonde.

“What are you so afraid of?” Laura asked, her hands falling to her sides as she stepped back toward the other woman, whose eyes still wouldn't meet her own.

“You _. Me_ ,” Carmilla said. “The mistakes I make around you. Inviting you here when I know I’m too… volatile to be around people right now. But it’s been an agonizing four days without you, Laura.”

Laura’s face fell. She hadn’t realized it had been so torturous for Carmilla over the last few days.

“Carm…” Laura said quietly as she stepped closer still to Carmilla. The vampire stiffened on the couch.

“Really Laura I think you shouldn’t get too close. Having you here is soothing, but having you too near is… dangerous.”

“So comforting,” Laura said, stopping her advance toward the vampire.

“I doubt any of us will be comfortable for awhile, creampuff.”

“Can I ask you something?” Laura asked, moving over to an armchair and sitting down.

“You may,” Carmilla said, looking up and meeting the blonde’s eyes.

“That thing Mattie did the other night, when her eyes were yellow and she made LaF drop everything… what was that?”

Carmilla took a breath.

“Sometimes vampires are gifted with extra power. Mattie’s likely came from being bitten by Lilita herself,” the brunette explained as Laura listened intently. “Mattie was always incredibly charismatic. It seems that in being turned, that talent was enhanced.”

“Are you going to get something like that? Your eyes turn yellow sometimes.”

“I may, especially if the vampire that turned me had been turned directly by Lilita. Don’t count on it, though, I’ve never been lucky in things. Nor have I ever been special.”

Sometimes the way Carmilla talked about herself brought an almost physical pain to Laura’s heart. She thought she was so unworthy of… well, of everything, it seemed.

“I disagree.”

“No, really cupcake, I’ve never been lucky.”

“I meant about you being special.”

Laura could almost see Carmilla’s chest swell at her comment, but as quickly as it was there was it gone.

“You’re entirely too sweet, sundance. But you don’t even know me. What I’ve been through, what I’ve done…”

“I know your ‘mother’ locked you up in a box is a basement. And I know your sister protected you for years, which says something,” Laura said, and Carmilla’s eyes met hers again. They were back to normal now, and there was something so quiet and soft about them. “I know how you make me feel and that you disarm me almost every time I’m around you.”

“I believe you have that backwards, Laura. It is you that disarms me,” Carmilla whispered, and Laura was once again taken aback at the way Carmilla used language. She treated it like it was holy, always carefully choosing words and phrases that made her sound like she was far older than she was. _See, disarming._

“Did you feed at _Viru?_ Do you know where they get their blood from?” Laura blurted before she could focus too much more on her love of the way Carmilla spoke. Carmilla’s eyebrows arched in surprise.

“I did feed. And yes, I do know.”

“People, Carm!” Laura said as if Carmilla hadn’t just confessed she knew where the blood came from. “People sitting in the kitchen getting drained!”

“They aren’t held there against their will, as far as we’ve surmised.” Carmilla’s voice was cool and collected.

“How do you know? It’s-it’s Lilita! And if she told you that she’s probably lying. Carm, what if they’ve been kidnapped? Are they getting killed?” Laura was rambling again.

“I have seen with my own eyes humans in _Viru_ signing waivers to give blood. It pays quite well. I don’t believe Lilita would be so messy as to murder within _Viru_. She is diabolical, cupcake, but obtuse she’s not. They aren’t kidnap victims.”

“Oh,” Laura said, calming herself. “You’re sure?”

“Almost certain, cupcake.”

Laura was consumed by thought for a moment. It wasn’t lost on her that Carmilla had said ‘ _almost’_ certain. She didn’t push, but she made a note of it in her mind. Something didn’t feel right, was Carmilla hiding something?

“I should go, Carm. We should talk about the Black Box when we’re not so charged and vulnerable.”

“Perhaps you’re right,” Carmilla said, standing, but Laura could swear Carmilla’s muscles were coiling at the idea of Laura leaving. “I don’t wish to keep you here if you want to leave.”

“No, Carm, it’s not that it’s just… I’m meeting Danny, Kirsch, and JP for drinks later,” Laura justified a little flatly, standing as well.

Carmilla walked over to the door and slid it open. As Laura passed her, Carmilla’s voice filled her ears.

“Promise me we won’t go another four days without talking?”

Laura turned to meet her vampire’s eyes, realizing for the first time she had labeled Carmilla in her mind as _her_ vampire.

“What happened to being disaffected and restraining yourself, baby vamp?” Laura lifted the corner in a smirk.

“Don’t push it,” Carmilla said, her gaze a little annoyed, but her smirk lighting up her face nonetheless.

“I promise, Carm. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Sometimes I’m too stubborn for my own good and I dig my hells in and refuse to budge. It can be kind of annoying, actually…” Laura rambled, and the smile on Carmilla’s lips grew. “And now I’m babbling.”

“Never change, creampuff. Enjoy your drinks,” the vampire said, sliding the door closed and leaving Laura to her evening with her friends.

* * *

 After another three days, Laura’s Achille’s was completely healed. Danny had started bothering LaF consistently about the properties in the anti-serum they had given Laura, saying it was some kind of miracle cure, and wanting LaF to break down all its components so they could figure out what it was. It was during Danny’s third round of begging that Laura finally spoke up.

“It wasn’t the anti-venom,” she said, huffing a little exhaustedly from listening to Danny plead and plead and plead.

LaF and Danny looked over at her, confused.

“It was Carmilla,” Laura said, and her friends now looked even more confused as they waited for her to continue. “Vampires have… certain healing properties…” Laura began, trailing off at the end, a blush starting to make its way to her cheeks. She really didn’t want to have to say she’d let Carmilla lick her ankle.

“Yeah, in their saliva,” LaF said, laughing a bit. “Oh, _oh,_ you let her, uh, lick you like a lollipop, didn’t you, Frosh?”

Laura’s lips formed a tight, mildly embarrassed line and her gaze fell to the floor. _Did they have to say it like_ ** _that_** _?_

“Well, at least it’s healing you,” Danny’s reply followed. Laura whipped her head up in surprise. Sure Danny’s voice wasn’t exactly filled with roses and sunshine when she’d said it, but it also wasn’t some overly dramatic display of protection.

“Have you guys heard from JP?” LaF asked, looking down at their phone.

“No, not since drinks the other night,” Laura answered.

“Don’t look at me,” Danny said.

“You act like you two hate each other. We all know you secretly hang out and talk medicine when none of us are around,” LaF said, giving Danny a sideways glance. “Which, rude.”

“Fine. No, I haven’t spoken to JP today.” Danny said, her lips turned up in a smile.

“It’s weird. I texted him yesterday and he never got back to me.”

“I think his rotations have been pretty demanding this week,” Danny mused, looking down at her phone. “I’m sure he’ll get back to you.”

“I suppose…” LaF trailed off. Then their phone buzzed. “Nope, no it’s definitely not that. Perry said he didn’t show up for work today. No one there can get a hold of him, either.”

“Well let’s go.” Laura said, the adrenaline she’d come to know so well flooding her veins. She headed toward the door.

“Whoa, Superhero Sally, where exactly are you going?” LaF asked, a half-amused look on their face.

“JP’s, obviously. Maybe he’s sick, or maybe he’s missing. It’s one of the two.”

Soon they were walking up to JP’s door, and Laura could sense something was off. LaF used the key JP had given them to open the apartment, and the three friends stepped into a ransacked mess. Books were thrown everywhere, papers strewn all over the apartment. Pillows and chairs were splayed across the floor, and the window to the fire escape was wide open. While there was no blood to speak of, Laura knew there had been a fight.

“This isn’t good.”

“Yeah, you’re not wrong,” Danny said, starting to look through everything to try and see if she could figure out what had happened. LaF stood, unmoving, the blood draining from their face.

“LaF, hey, it’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna find JP,” Laura said, stepping up and touching LaF lightly on the shoulder.

That was when Laura’s eyes saw it sitting on the floor. It was about the size of a business card, matte black, and in glossy, sleek black script across the front it said, _Viru._ Laura bent down and picked it up. It was heavier than a business card, it almost felt like a cool, thin metal. She turned it over in her hand, and on the back was a glossy black silhouette of a wine glass.

“What is that?” LaF said, stepping up beside Laura and taking a look.

“You know that place _Viru_?”

“The crazy fancy one that no one knows anything about?” Danny asked, also stepping up to Laura.

“That’s the one,” Laura said.

“Yeah…?” Danny said, awaiting what Laura was going to say next.

“Yeah, well, it’s some kind of vampire hang. And Lilita owns it.” Laura saw both LaF and Danny stiffen at that knowledge. “Yeah. They’ve got some real weird stuff going on in there. I got a glimpse into their kitchen the other day by accident, and there were unconscious people sitting in these chairs, just giving blood. Or having it taken. Carmilla… Carmilla said all the humans there sign waivers and do it of their own accord, but I’m not so sure.”

LaF was already by the door when Laura finished talking.

“Whoa, who’s running off now?” the tiny journalist asked, striding across the room to LaF.

“If JP’s at _Viru—_ ” LaF began.

“I didn’t say JP was at _Viru,_ I just picked up a business card.”

“Oh come on Laur, you think it’s a coincidence that that was there on the floor amidst the mess?”

“I didn’t say that, either.”

“Then we should get going!” LaF’s face was turning red, their passion and anger bubbling to the surface.

“LaF, yes, I agree, but let’s regroup, right Danny?” Laura said, turning to the taller redhead for backup. “We should have a plan. Let’s not go running into a vampire club without a plan.”

“Laura’s right, LaF,” Danny said, nodding her head.

Laura had her phone up to her ear before Danny had even finished speaking.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, cupcake?” Carmilla’s drawl came heavily from the other side of the phone.

“Carm, our friend JP was taken. His apartment was ransacked and I think they took him out the fire escape. We found a _Viru_ business card on the floor,” Laura said, her voice all business.

“Don’t even think about going to _Viru,_ ” Carmilla replied so quickly it almost gave Laura whiplash.

“Give me a better plan.”

“I’ll grab Mattie and we’ll go over there. Send me a picture of the guy I’m looking for,” Carmilla said, and Laura could tell she was already running around her apartment getting ready.

“I need us to do a little more than send you a picture, baby vamp.” Laura saw LaF’s eyes widen and Danny’s lips curl up into a smile at her use of the nickname.

“Just, cupcake, just send me the damn photo and wait for our instructions.” Carmilla huffed, all too demanding, then hung up. Laura was stunned.

“What did she say?” LaF asked, obviously eager to get moving.

“She said she and Mattie would head down there, and to send her a picture of JP.”

“That’s it?” Danny asked.

“That’s it,” Laura replied, still staring at her phone, shocked Carmilla had essentially hung up on her.

Laura took LaF and Danny back to the lab, mumbling the whole way about her useless baby vampire. LaF was really shaken up. JP was one of their best friends. The only time they’d ever seen LaF so pale was when they were planning on telling Perry how they felt about her. _At least that had a happy ending, though,_ Laura thought.

When they were back inside and had sat LaF down, Laura’s brain was finally starting to settle. She could think more clearly.

“Do you need anything, LaF, can I go get you anything?”

They said nothing, just shook their head.

“Danny, can you stay with them?” Laura asked quietly, pulling the redhead off to the side.

“Laura, what are you doing?”

“Nothing stupid.” Danny’s eyes bore into her. “I promise.”

“You remember what I told you?” Danny asked, looking over at LaF who was doing some kind of breathing exercise to calm down.

“About what?”

“Holding you up as long as I can?”

“Yeah?”

“I can’t do that if you don’t let me in.”

Laura sighed. Danny was right.

“Fine. I’m going to _Viru,_ but I’m not going to go in. I’m just going to wait there patiently-“

“Patiently?” Danny asked, eyeing Laura skeptically.

“ _Semi_ -patiently, until Carm and Mattie come outside.”

The door to the lab opened and Perry ran inside, hurrying over to LaF and encasing them in a hug.

“Shh, dear, it’s going to be okay,” Perry said, petting LaF’s hair. Her gaze met Danny and Laura’s in a quiet question of ‘what’s next?’

Laura motioned to herself and then the door, and Danny sat down. Perry nodded. She cocked her head to the side and her eyes grew big: a silent plea for Laura to be safe.

‘I will,’ Laura mouthed, nodding, before heading out the door.

* * *

 As she closed in on the location of _Viru,_ Laura sneaked around the side instead of going straight to the front. She inched toward the side door she’d become acquainted with earlier that week, her blood pounding in her ears, her breath coming in deep, steady motions as she worked to keep her anxiety under control. She didn’t know what she was dreading more, everything inside _Viru_ or the look on Carmilla’s face when she saw that the tiny journalist had come.

Her feet moved slowly, eyes locked on the door. Laura was so focused that she didn’t notice the taller figure behind her, stalking like a shadow stapled to her skin. It wasn’t until he stubbed his toe and grunted slightly that Laura knew he was there. He moved a fraction of a second before she did and brushed against her, then pinned her up against the wall.

“You think you and your kind can do this to us?” he whispered aggressively in her ear. His hips were pressing into her back, crushing her body against the building, scraping her flesh along its brick. One of his arms held both hers down, and his other hand reached around to strangle her. That meant it left her legs free. _Amateur._

She lifted a leg and brought her foot down upon his, _hard._ He let out a low grunt and shifted but didn’t let her go. The movement gave her enough room to snake her leg around his and kick his inner thigh awkwardly, but just so, taking his leg out from under him.

Then he was being pulled away from her. Her fingers jumped to her throat as she coughed, massaging where he had held her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him be pushed to the pavement,

“Leave now,” an inhuman growl ground out, and Laura's assailant got up and ran off.

The journalist moved to turn toward the helper, but her legs gave out beneath her. She then found herself embraced in strong arms.

 _Carm,_ she thought, and sighed.

“Careful, dearheart.” The voice was sultry, breathy, and distinctly _not_ her baby vamp’s. Laura fully turned, her eyes falling upon the breathtaking, statuesque being that was Lilita Morgan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for stopping by!


	11. All I Ask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura struggles through the dinner with Lilita, Laura and Carm have a tiff, and Laura and Kirsch share some bro love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're soooooo close to their big match. Next chapter! There was too much to get through in this chapter to do it here, but fear not, I have that chapter written and it will be coming within the next few days. And there is some drah-mah in the next (and here, too. But Carm isn't as... controlled in the next chapter, if you get my meaning).
> 
> As always, thanks for stopping by, reading, commenting, lurking, and sending kudos. You all are so, so lovely to this little baby fanfic author.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

“Are you all right?” Lilita asked, her voice warm, nurturing even. _How disconcerting._

“Uh, I, um,” Laura stuttered.

“I’m afraid I’ll need more than sounds,” the tall vampire said, squeezing the pint-sized blonde’s shoulder. Laura still couldn’t make words, so Lilita continued. “This city is dangerous at night for a girl like you.”

The fire in Laura’s stomach ignited her voice. _There it is._

“I’m stronger than I look.”

“So I saw.” Lilita’s lips turned up in a smile, and Laura’s knees grew weak. _Oh she is good._ “Aren’t you just five feet of delectable, feisty adorable,” the woman said, her eyes freely roaming over Laura’s frame. Despite herself, Laura’s cheeks burned under the CEO’s gaze and obvious praise of her body.

“Thank you,” Laura said, her mouth suddenly dry. “But I’ll just be—”

“Joining me for dinner?”

 _Does that mean I’m going to_ ** _be_** _dinner?_ Laura mused internally as Lilita continued.

“You look famished, dear, and really, I don’t wish to leave you here after you were almost mugged. Come.” She held her arm out just as she had the other day for Carmilla. “No arguments, pet, we’re already here,” she cooed, gesturing to _Viru._

“I, um, don’t think I’m dressed for the occasion,” Laura said, looking down at her jeans, tank top, and faded olive bomber jacket.

“Yes, regrettably you are not in something equally as ravishing as the rest of you, but we shall make do. Come along now.” She offered her arm again and Laura took it, unsure of what else to do. “Good girl.”

They rounded the corner to the front of _Viru_ and Laura could not have written more terrible (or perfect?) timing if it was appearing in one of her articles: Carmilla strolled out of the front doors, both the bouncers offering her nods as she did. Her eyes did not turn toward Lilita and Laura at first, not until Lilita’s tone sliced through the evening air.

“Mircalla, how lovely to see you.”

Carmilla’s back was toward them, but Laura could see the vampire visibly stiffened at the sound of the voice, moreso at the sound of whatever it was Lilita had just called her. She slowly turned.

“Mother, I—” And then her gaze fell on Laura, her eyes growing wide.

“Darling, it’s rude to stare,” Lilita chastised. “Though she _is_ quite the sight, is she not? I just saved her from being mugged by a hoodlum.”

 _Uh, I was taking care of myself just fine,_ **_Lilita._ ** _Thanks._

“Mircalla, this is… I’m sorry, pet, I never asked your name,” Lilita said.

“This is Laura Hollis, Mother,” Carmilla said before Laura had a chance to say anything.

“The human you are to face in that barbaric display Mattie is pulling me into? Fancy that,” Lilita said, eyeing Laura with a newfound appreciation and, _gulp_ , hunger. “You must join us, dear, we were just going to go inside and dine.”

“And what, pray tell, were you going to feed Miss Hollis, hmm?” Carmilla said, though it was void of her usual snark.

“Oh please, there are _food_ options for humans too, not simply drinks,” Lilita drawled. “Though the drink selection is _divine._ ”

“Well you picked it,” Carmilla mused, and _there_ was the bite to it Laura had come to know so well.

“Tone, Mircalla,” Lilita snapped, icy. Laura was swimming in a sea of emotions. Lilita was so seductive, so all-consuming, and could so quickly turn the dial and be cold and distant.

It was utterly entrancing, and even more, entirely terrifying.

As they stepped through the doors, Laura desperately wanted to know if her baby vamp had learned anything about JP. She wanted to reach out and touch Carmilla, anything to ground herself in this insane moment, but the vampire was stiff, cold, and frustration seemed to radiate off every inch of her.

“Janelle, do sit these lovely specimens in the booth in the back, yes?” Lilita coaxed, flirting with the woman behind the host stand. She handed her a crisp $100 bill.

“Yes, Ms. Morgan,” Janelle said, her eyes transfixed on the Amazon in front of her.

“That’s a good dear,” Lilita said, then turned back to Laura and Carmilla. “I’ll be right back, my beautiful pets. Ladies’ room.” Then she stalked off.

Carmilla grabbed Laura’s hand the second Lilita turned her back on them and the two women followed Janelle toward a dark booth in the back of the establishment. The decor was earthy, dark, crimsons and blacks and somehow modern and mid-century gothic all at once.

“Stay close,” Carmilla whispered into Laura’s ear. “They can smell you.”

Laura moved her eyes from side to side, surveying the scene. It was true, many of the patrons were eyeing her up and down like she was the meal they were waiting for. Carmilla looked at many of them and bared her fangs, gripping Laura’s fingers more tightly in her own. She suddenly stopped walking and the journalist stopped with her.

“Trust me?” Carmilla whispered in her ear. Laura nodded.

In the middle of the room, under several prying eyes, Carmilla slowly ran her cheek along the blonde’s, setting fire to Laura’s skin (and _other_ parts) as she did so. She moved down Laura’s neck, pulling her jacket aside and running her fangs along the journalist’s shoulder. Laura could feel her skin raising at the touch, and shudder flew up her spine. Then Carmilla rubbed her cheek along Laura’s flesh again. The vampires that had been watching turned away, all looking somewhat frustrated.

Carmilla pulled the small blonde onward.

“What did you just do?” Laura whispered quietly.

“I marked you,” Carmilla said simply. “ _Claimed_ you. No one here will bother us,” the vampire continued, squeezing herself into the booth Janelle had stopped in front of.

The hostess then dropped menus onto the table, going on and on about the blood types on the menu.

“Thank you, Janelle, we’ll need a moment,” Carmilla finally cut the woman off. The hostess promptly turned on her heel and strode away.

“What the frilly hell do you think you’re trying to pull, coming here?” Carmilla growled quietly.

“Me? You just… _claimed me_ in the middle of _Viru!_ ”

“Desperate times, creampuff,” Carmilla said.

“I didn’t _mean_ to run into Lilita, Carmilla,” Laura said. “I wasn’t trying to break in, I was just coming to wait for you.”

“You could have waited for me _anywhere else_ , Laura,” Carmilla said, trying to remain calm so as not to make a further scene or draw attention to their booth.

“Where’s Mattie?”

“She left before me. She had ‘something to do.’”

“And JP?”

“He’s here.” Laura sucked in a breath and it stuck in her chest. “Not as a donor. But he’s here.”

“As what?”

“I don’t know that yet, you haven’t given me the time to discover the answer. You just swooped in all Lois Lane, and now you’re clinging to my Mother like she’s the oxygen you need to breathe.”

“Not fair, Carm, she’s disarming,” Laura said, incredulous, her eyes unable to fully meet the vampire’s. She could see Carmilla’s face fall.

“And here I thought I was the one that disarmed you.” Her voice was tight. Jealous, almost.

“Come on, Carmilla, you’re not being fair.”

“Fair? What the hell does _fair_ have to do with any part of this game?” Carmilla growled. She suddenly seemed older, wiser, more domineering than Laura had ever seen. This baby vampire made her feel like an insolent child.

“Carm, you _do_ disarm me.” Laura’s voice was soft and quiet, and for the first time since she had sat with Carmilla in the cell in LaF’s lab, the journalist wasn’t interested in the quippy games she and her baby vamp had developed. “When you look at me, I can’t feel the lower half of my body. When you touch me, it’s like everything around us becomes blurry and I can only see you. You disarm me, Carmilla, because when you’re not being _infuriating,_ you are _vulnerable_ and **_kind_**. She disarms me because she’s a monster,” Laura finished, meeting Carmilla’s gaze. Red tears were suddenly brimming in the vampire’s eyes.

“Dammit,” she stammered, picking up a napkin and dabbing the blood away from her cheeks. “Dammit, Laura Hollis.”

Laura reached over and squeezed her baby vampire’s hand.

“I’m still mad at you,” Carmilla said. “I didn’t want you meeting her this way,” she growled, her eyes lowering. “I don’t like— I don’t like when I can’t control things.”

“I’m getting that,” Laura said as she offered Carmilla’s hand another squeeze. “And I will keep saying this until it permeates your thick skull, but _I am not scared of you._ ”

The tiny journalist could have sworn Carmilla whispered something under her breath and shook her head, but before the blonde could inquire further, she looked up and saw Lilita striding toward them. The woman’s eyes were fixed on something across the way. While the Amazon was distracted, Laura inconspicuously inched her fingers away from Carmilla’s hand.

“Buckle up, creampuff,” the baby vampire said, her voice low. “You’re in for a ride.”

Lilita ordered for all of them, but not without seductively asking Laura what kind of wine she liked. Laura’s mouth was like cotton, and she didn’t know how to answer.

“The house will suffice,” Lilita said to the waitress, whose eyes were glued to the tall blonde, raking over her like she was the very reason the Big Bang had occurred. “Don’t stare, darling, it’s not polite,” Lilita said, giving the server a smirk. She ran away blushing furiously. “That truly never gets old,” Lilita sighed, watching the woman leave.

“Mother, must you flirt with _everything_ that moves?” Carmilla drawled, the judgment in her tone apparent.

“Where exactly do you think you get it from, Mircalla?”

Their gazes bore into one another, and Laura’s lower half squirmed in the booth. Everything about this was too much, too uncomfortable, too over-exerted.

“Tell me, Miss Hollis, how you became involved with such a nefarious underground group of fighters,” Lilita said, pulling her eyes from her adopted daughter and placing them upon the tiny journalist.

“Oh, nefarious now, is it? Nefarious like me?” Carmilla asked, quirking an eyebrow, her tone sharp as an icepick.

“Darling, you cannot claim this little beacon of light sitting in front of us is _anything_ like _you,_ ” Lilita said, and while her voice was light and airy, there was the promise of a threat in her tone, and in her eyes.

“Actually I think myself and Miss Karnstein may be more alike than you think,” Laura said, finally able to give her thoughts the voice they desperately sought. Lilita’s eyebrows shot up, as did Carmilla’s. “I think that’s why they paired us together for the match,” she finished, recovering before she blew whatever story her baby vamp had fed Lilita about how they had, or hadn’t, met.

“You’ve seen my Mircalla fight?” Lilita asked.

“Oh, yes. I make sure to closely study _all_ my opponents,” Laura said, and it was her voice now that carried the slightest twinge of a threat. She thought she saw Carmilla bite her lower lip the tiniest bit at her comment, but she couldn’t tell if the vampire was afraid or amused. Maybe both.

Before Lilita could respond, the server came over with the bottle of wine Carmilla’s mother had ordered. She showed the woman the label and made a spectacle of opening the wine and pouring just a tad into three glasses so the women could each have a taste. Laura watched as Carmilla and her mother swirled the liquid in the glass and then each took a sip. Laura followed suit.

The server waited for Lilita’s response, and the taller vampire nodded. The three glasses were then meticulously filled to the exact spot where the wine could breathe the perfect amount.

Once the waitress strode away, Lilita picked up her glass and held it out to the two women in front of her.

“To intriguing prospects,” Lilita said, eyeing Laura voraciously. Carmilla clenched her jaw but held up her glass regardless. Laura followed suit.

* * *

If there was anything Laura didn’t know well, it was playing _that_ game. Sure, being a journalist meant she had to schmooze from time to time, but it had always been a struggle. She never liked having to play something she didn’t feel she was, or having to lie or omit truths for the sake of appeasing someone. Truly. When she’d eventually come out to her father at seventeen, the first thing he said was, “thank God you finally said it.”

Yeah, she’d never been good at hiding herself. Or maybe in that case it was because he once burst in on her making out with Jenny Driscoll. They’d pulled apart before he’d seen anything, but the man wasn’t incompetent. You come into a room and two people are close and trying to catch their breath like the apocalypse just fell into their laps and you have to wonder, ‘what was happening there?’

After the agonizing dinner, Lilita had wanted Carmilla to leave with her, but the baby vamp refused. Surprisingly, the taller blonde had let it go, proudly proclaiming, ‘you are your own woman, Mircalla, and an amazing one at that.’

To which Carmilla had whispered, ‘no thanks to you,’ under her breath.

They all parted ways but Carmilla doubled back after Lilita was gone to walk Laura home. Not that it mattered, the journalist might as well have walked home alone for all the vocal company Carmilla was. The vampire was. Not. Pleased.

When they were about five minutes from LaF’s lab, Laura finally spoke.

“You know, Carmilla, this is _important_ to me. To LaF. To _everyone_. You don’t have to protect me like I’m—”

“That’s just _it,_ Laura, _it’s not about just you,_ ” Carmilla spat, her rage boiling over. “I’m not Danny! I’m not galavanting off to save you at every turn because I think you’re incapable. You’re the most capable person I’ve ever _met._ But this isn’t just about you!”

The two women stopped dead on the sidewalk. Some wandering eyes were turning towards them because of Carmilla’s outburst. The vampire huffed and kicked at the ground beneath her feet.

“Carm—” Laura started, shocked. She spent so much of her time defending herself from the overprotectiveness of others that she didn’t always stop to consider that it may not be protectiveness at all.

“The first time she locked me in that box, it was for three hours. Then the next, it was five. They added up until the hours became days. After she turned Mattie, she had me in there for one hundred and fifty-three hours, twelve minutes, and forty-seven seconds. I counted,” she spat. “I always counted,” she said, more quietly now, more vulnerable, as she picked at the chipped black nail polish on her fingers.

“Carmilla, I am not _ever_ going to let her put you in a box again. I’m never letting _anyone_ put you in a box again,” Laura said, reaching toward the brunette’s arm, but her vampire pulled away.

“Like you did?”

The comment stung Laura to her very core. Stung because the indignant part of her wanted to scream, ‘ _that’s not what that was!’ …_ But it mostly stung because her baby vamp was right. Laura, too, had locked Carmilla in a box. Tears sprang into the blonde’s eyes.

“I shouldn’t have said that, cupcake, I’m sorry,” Carmilla immediately backpedaled upon seeing what her words had done. “I didn’t — that’s not what I meant.”

“No. No, you’re right,” Laura squeaked out. “I hurt you.” The tears began falling down her cheeks. “I locked you up just like Lilita and made you feel weak and small and helpless and I hurt you. Ugh, Carm, you had just turned and I didn’t know what to do and LaF wanted me to kill you but I couldn’t but I also couldn’t just leave you there and I…” She babbled, reaching up to wipe her face before Carmilla could think she was being a baby.

“No, Laura, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. Did you lock me up? Yes. But I know it wasn’t the same. I was a fledgling, a baby vamp, still am,” she said, and while there was a tightness to her tone when she said it, there was amusement there, too. “I shouldn’t compare what you did to anything Lilita has ever done.”

Laura’s gaze was still glued to the pavement below, tears falling down her cheeks. She hiccuped.

A slender finger tipped her chin up and she found herself staring into the deep, hazelnut pools of mystery her baby vamp called eyes.

“What is it about you?” the vampire asked, searching Laura’s gaze as if she may find the answer there.

“My keen fashion sense? My unparalleled taste in television? My _Harry_ _Potter_ collectibles?”

“No, it’s definitely not _any_ of that.”

They shared a small smile.

“I’ll try to keep my curiosity in check,” Laura whispered, hiccuping again. _I hate that I hiccup when I cry!_

“That’s all I ask, creampuff,” Carmilla said, and walked Laura the rest of the way to LaF’s laboratory. “And I will try and curb my temper.”

“That’s all I ask, baby vamp,” Laura said, and she could have sworn Carmilla’s fingers brushed her own for a fraction of a second before pulling away.

* * *

Telling Perry, LaF, and Danny about her interactions with Lilita had not been easy, but she’d managed. She’d even managed to tell Betty about it the next day without giving away _too_ much.

“You went to _Viru_ with her?!” Betty exclaimed excitedly, as if she was an eight-year-old getting a puppy for Christmas.

“Shh, Betty, yes,” Laura soothed, sitting in the blonde’s office, aware of the prying ears outside the door that had caught wind of her newest story. Office gossip: never far behind you.

“What?” Betty asked, and then turned her gaze toward the door. “Oh, Laura, you’re going to have to get used to them listening. You are the talk of the _town._ ”

“ _What?!”_ Laura exclaimed, standing. “ _Betty!”_

“Relax, Hollis, I haven’t said anything. It’s all just _rumor,”_ Betty said, rolling her eyes.

“That doesn’t—” Laura began, her voice loud. Then she lowered to a whisper. “That doesn’t make me feel better. This is serious shit, Betty, you have _no idea.”_

“Not until you write something, I don’t,” Betty countered, staring daggers into the journalist’s eyes.

“I have nothing _to_ write yet, Betts, what am I gonna write about? _Viru’s_ wine selection? I don’t write reviews,” Laura said, a little too much edge to her voice.

“When is your fight with Karnstein?” Betty asked, suddenly changing the subject.

“Saturday,” Laura answered.

“Write about your preparation for that, then. Readers would love to see something about a human fighting a vampire. Well, those of us that accept their existence will want to read it…” Betty trailed off.

“Fine. I’ll have something in a few days,” Laura said, standing.

“Laura?” Betty asked, standing with the journalist.

“Yes?”

“You know I love your work, and I am more than pleased to have you on full-time, but I want to see something about Lilita Morgan by Monday. We don’t have to run it right away, I just want to see whatever you can come up with. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good.”

Laura left the office in a huff. She was already falling behind on her first big assignment with _A-Z_ and she’d managed to piss Betty off.

_Off to a spectacular start, there, Hollis._

She started back toward her apartment and then veered off a few blocks from her door to grab a happy hour drink at her usual haunt, _Bar 307._ Despite her mounting anxiety and anger, a small smile made its way to her lips. She knew just what she needed.

The journalist pulled out her phone and typed up a text:

_What are you up to? Meet me at 307?_

Within the half hour, Kirsch was striding through the door and making his way toward her. Laura hopped off the bar stool and pulled the far taller man into a bear hug.

“Whoa there, little hottie, what’s this for?” he asked, returning the gesture. “Not that I’m complaining. I dig your bro love.” Having anyone else refer to her as ‘little hottie’ would send her feminist into a blind rage. But Kirsch was like a puppy dog: loyal, kind, and never ogled Laura. He took his relationship to women very seriously. He hadn’t always, in college he’d been a bit of a player. All that changed when he realized he was in love with Danny. The two had never dated, for obvious reasons, but he’d learned boundaries and a whole new level of respect for women through his journey with her.

“It feels like I haven’t seen you in _ages,_ ” Laura said, unwilling to let go of her friend. Finally they pulled away from each other.

“It’s been less than a week, L.”

“It feels like longer.”

“How’s your right hook doing?” Kirsch asked, obviously excited to talk about the pending fight with Carmilla.

“It’s okay. Carm always sees it coming when we train, though,” Laura said, taking her seat on the stool again and ordering Kirsch a beer.

“That’s because you drop your shoulder too early, bro. Been telling you that for years…” Kirsch trailed off. “But Carm sexy comes along and _now_ you want to listen.”

“Aw, I always listen to you, Kirsch!” Laura said, going to smack him lightly on the shoulder, but he moved at the very last second and she missed him.

“Dropped your shoulder. Saw it coming,” he said, winking at her. She scrunched her face in a playful pout.

“You gonna be in my corner in the Black Box?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, little hottie.”

And he didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kirsch is all kinds of brah-dorable, and is so much fun to write. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	12. The Black Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla's a panther. Laura and Carmilla battle it out in the Black Box.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello you gorgeous humans.
> 
> Usually I don't have much of a weekend but I took today to myself to chill out, run errands, do laundry (the struggle to find time to do THAT is real) and write a bunch of stuff, amongst it editing this chapter. So I'm giving it to you earlier than intended. Hope you don't mind, and I hope it's everything you've hoped for for their fight. Or close.
> 
> This is a longish one and has a few small time jumps that haven't been present much in the past. The match comes near the end, but there's some drama in the training session that I just had to write. The match itself is not very long, but it's still pretty dense. 
> 
> Please forgive any errors surrounding the boxing match. I myself kickbox and I'm not a proper boxer, so if I screw some terms/stuff up, sahhhrry.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

The days leading up to the fight were some of the most anxiety-ridden Laura could remember. And _that_ was saying something.

Laura worked on not dropping her shoulder too soon (“Figured out how I always saw them coming, didn’t you, creampuff? Carmilla had said, to which Laura had huffily replied, “yeah. Thanks for _bringing it up_ before Kirsch, _training_ _buddy_.” That shut Carmilla up quite quickly).

Carmilla told Laura that Lilita had been asking about the journalist. Apparently she was _incredibly_ interested in the small blonde.

“I think it’s safe to say you made a good first impression,” Carmilla said, wiping the sweat from her body with a towel after another successful training session with Laura.

The two had grown intimately familiar with the other in the ring. It was exactly how Carmilla wanted it. It would ensure that the fight was exciting to watch while maximizing their abilities to keep each other safe.

“I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing,” Laura said, following Carmilla’s lead and dabbing herself with a towel and climbing out of the ring with the vampire.

Laura didn’t ask Carmilla where she got the money to rent out the gym every time they trained so they could work alone, but the question was always rolling around her brain. She shook it from her head as she tried to focus on what the vampire was saying to her about Lilita.

“She’s started planting seeds that she wants me to pursue you, just as Mattie and I anticipated. I think letting her see a healthy amount of flirting before and after the fight tomorrow will be ideal.”

Laura’s body tightened at that. She didn’t really know why, she knew this was coming, this was the _plan._ And it wasn’t like she and Carmilla were exactly strangers to flirting. But it felt odd to put on a _show_ of flirting for someone. Especially when she wasn’t very good at it.

“Where’d you go there, cupcake?” Carmilla asked, tossing her used towel over a chair.

“Oh, sorry,” Laura said, snapping out of her thoughts. “Just thinking about how maybe we should have focused more on flirting than boxing. One of them I’m good at. One of them I’m not.”

“Laura Hollis, the girl that seduced half a sports team in high school, isn’t good at flirting?”

“Come on, you know I’m not good at it. I get all rambley and weird.” Laura’s foot was dragging uncomfortably along the floor, making designs in an effort to alleviate her tension around the subject.

“Okay,” Carmilla said, a glint in her eye. She sat down on the folding chair. “Let’s practice, then. Give it a go.”

“Carm, I can’t just ‘give it a go’.”

“All right, cupcake, I’ll start,” Carmilla said, looking around them as if she was imagining the gym filled with people. When she looked back at Laura, the journalist choked. Carmilla was looking at her with lust pooling in her eyes, her gaze starting at the journalist’s feet and slowly moving up until it met the blonde’s. Laura felt her mouth grow dry.

“I’ve been watching you,” Carmilla said, her voice husky. She slowly stood and started to make her way towards Laura, whose insides were squirming under the vampire’s gaze.

“O-oh?” Laura squeaked.

“Mmmhmmm. You drop your right shoulder before you throw punches,” Carmilla began circling around Laura as if the smaller woman was prey. Then Laura felt the vampire’s breath on her neck, right next to her ear. “It expends extra energy. Energy you could save for… other things…” Her voice was low and coaxing, and Laura was _losing_ herself in it. Carmilla stalked back around to face Laura. “I’m Carmilla.”

“L-Laura.”

“Hello L-Laura,” Carmilla repeated, smirking. “You know, gym sweat is not usually the kind of sweat I like on women, but it looks good on you.”

Laura felt herself blush despite how lame that sounded, and a surge of courage coursed through her. She sauntered the few steps up to Carmilla.

“You know what else would look good on me?” she asked, cocking her head to the side.

“What’s that?”

Laura leaned in close, and she could feel the vampire tense, goosebumps forming on her skin.

“You.”

A low growl emitted from her baby vamp’s throat. She heard Carmilla take a deep breath in through her nose, as if inhaling the journalist’s scent.

“Would you like to test that theory?” the baby vampire whispered, seduction oozing from every syllable. The two women stood so close, their mouths to each others’ ears.

“Why Carmilla,” Laura began, her voice barely making its way passed her lips. “Here? Now?”

“Your call.”

Laura reached around the vampire and pulled her baby vamp’s phone out of the jacket laying haphazardly across the chair. Carmilla looked at her quizzically but unlocked it when the blonde held it out to her to do so. The journalist pretended to type her number in and then handed it back to the vampire.

“No. Yours.”

Then she turned and, with an extra sway to her hips, began to walk across the gym.

Carmilla let out a sigh and a loud whistle.

“Ohhhhh smooth, sundance, smooth!” Carmilla called after her. _She’s a little overwhelmed_. “Cheesy, but smooth,” she tried to recover, but something sounded a little odd. Laura shook it off.

“Oh, but ‘gym sweat is not usually the kind of sweat I like on women but it looks good on you,’ _wasn’t_ cheesy?” Laura turned and began walking back to Carmilla, but she was right in thinking something with the vampire was off. She wasn’t focused, and her chest was moving like she was over-exerted. _But she doesn’t have to breathe._

“I didn’t say that.”

Laura’s eyes lowered to her baby vamp’s lips, and she could see that her fangs had descended. The vampire was running her tongue over their sharpest point, and her eyes were growing yellow.

Carmilla turned and walked over to her bag, pulling out a bottle with a distinctive _V_ on the front. She unscrewed the cap and drank its contents in a few seconds.

Laura pulled the bottle from her hands moments later.

“They’re _bottling_ blood?”

Carmilla wasn’t listening. She was opening another bottle and drinking it down, her torso still moving like she was ‘breathing’ hard.

“Carmilla?”

“Something’s, umph, something’s not right,” her baby vamp grunted, folding over in pain.

“Is it still the change?”

“No, this feels - ah, gods - this feels - AH!” Carmilla was grabbing frantically at her clothes and torso, and Laura couldn’t tell what she was trying to do. Soothe the ache? Tear her outfit off? Tear her _skin_ off?

“Carm—”

A great roar emitted from the throat of her vampire and Laura watched, dumbfounded, as her body shifted into that of an enormous black panther, pieces of the outfit Carmilla had been wearing went flying in different directions as the great dark cat settled into a predatory stance.

“Oh boy,” Laura whined as the panther moved toward her slowly. “Carmcat, Carmkitty, uh, kitty vamp, hey, uh, nice kitty…”

Laura slowly backed toward her bag. LaF had given her an electric crossbow not long after the night Carmilla was turned, and she carried it in her bag just in case.

The panther growled, staring at Laura hungrily, and also, if possible, a little confused.

 _I’m never gonna make it before it pounces…_ Laura thought as she continued to move toward her bag. As soon as she was next to it, she bent down slowly. The panther eyed her hands. The crossbow was in the front pouch. She could reach in and grab it with her eyes closed, thank goodness, but could she do it fast enough, aim, and shoot before the panther ate her for dinner?

“Carm, if you’re in there…” Laura said soothingly, but trailed off since she didn’t really know what to say after that. The journalist’s fingers wrapped around the zipper and she pulled it agonizingly slowly, opening the pocket. Reaching her hand in, she grasped the small crossbow and pulled it out. The panther’s growl grew. Laura tried to keep her breathing even as she steadied her weapon in her grip.

The cat reared back on its haunches.

Then everything went black.

* * *

The tiny journalist awoke a few minutes later lying on the floor. For a minute she didn’t know where she was or what happened, and then the memory came flooding back. She shot up and looked over at the unconscious body of Carmilla (now naked, because, well, her clothes had been torn in the change), the electric arrow embedded in her shoulder. _Lucky shot for someone that shut their eyes at the last second, Hollis._

Laura looked at the clock on the wall. She still had twenty minutes before anyone would be back to reopen the gym for evening customers. She grabbed Carmilla’s jacket and threw it over the girl, concealing her naked bits while she looked around for some sweats or something to put on the woman. She found a lost and found bin behind the counter on the opposite side of the room and sifted through an array of shorts and t-shirts, finally coming across something that may fit the slim girl. She carried them back to the vampire and slowly sat her up, which was difficult because she was essentially dead weight.

The jacket fell from Carmilla and Laura was struck at the beauty of her vampire’s body. She tried not to look but dammit she was gay and Carmilla was gorgeous and it was _hard. Just don’t make it weird and sexual, Hollis, and you’ll be fine. You can appreciate without being gross…_

She pulled the t-shirt over Carmilla’s head and almost laughed at how funny the bright yellow shirt with a picture of a kitten with sunglasses on its face looked on the vampire. She pulled the basketball shorts on next, desperately trying to avert her eyes from Carmilla’s _naughty bits._

_Oh girl the hell up, Hollis, did you really just label them ‘naughty bits’ in your brain? Are you five?_

She got the shorts fitted around the woman’s waist and though they were a little big, she thought they would hold until they got Carmilla home and into her signature leather and plaid.

Laura reached up to Carmilla’s shoulder and broke the arrow off at the head… they certainly couldn’t go wandering the city’s streets with an arrow sticking out of one of their shoulders. A bit of it still stuck out from Carmilla’s flesh, enough that LaF would hopefully be able to remove it without releasing the tranq and knocking Carmilla out again.

A groan passed the brunette’s lips, and her finger’s twitched.

“Wha-whoa, I’m, oomph, cupcake?” Carmilla slurred, her eyes half opening and laying on Laura.

“Hey, Carm.”

“What happened?” She looked down at her outfit. “Oh gods am I in hell?”

Laura chuckled.

“So, you’re a giant black cat.”

“Mmm, you’re right, we have to work on your flirting, creampuff,” Carmilla said, still dazed, but a small smirk appeared on her face.

“No, I mean you’re a panther, Carmilla. You shifted right in front of me.”

"...oh," was all the vampire had to say about it.

As soon as Carmilla was able to stand, the two women left the gym and started back toward LaF’s laboratory. Carmilla’s daze faded within a few minutes, and she spent most of the walk complaining about the clothing she was wearing.

“Carmilla, stop being a baby, there wasn’t a lot to choose from.”

“You should have just let me be naked,” Carmilla drawled. Laura rolled her eyes. “What? Maybe the local population would have appreciated the view…” the vampire droned on.

“Okay lady killer,” Laura said as she opened the door to the lab. “In you go.” Carmilla stepped in first, followed by the journalist. “LaF!” Laura called out, and the redhead appeared from the stairwell.

LaF got to work taking the arrowhead out of Carmilla and after about ten minutes managed to do it without releasing any of the tranquilizer into the vampire’s system. They smiled as they dropped the arrow’s tip onto the table.

“So, you’re a shifter,” LaF said casually, but Laura could tell they were _dying_ to hear more.

“I’d be of more use to you if I could remember what happened, lab junkie,” Carmilla huffed.

“Could I, um, could I take some samples?” LaF asked, and Carmilla shot them the deathiest death glare Laura had ever seen. “For science! To help you!”

“Hard pass,” Carmilla said, standing. “Cupcake, I gotta go home and get out of these clothes. The yellow is starting to itch.”

“Colors don’t make things itchy, Carm.”

“They do if you’re _allergic_ to them,” Carmilla said under her breath. “I also need to meet with Mattie. I want to discuss the whole, ‘I’m a panther now,’ thing with her. Maybe she’ll have some answers.”

“Okay,” Laura said.

“Laura?” Carmilla asked, turning to the blonde. “Did I really pounce on you?”

“You were in a primal state, Carmilla,” Laura answered. “And I… well nothing happened, did it?”

Carmilla shook her head and stepped out into the late afternoon.

Laura tried to busy herself with her newest article for Betty that night. She wrote about training, the upcoming fight, and even threw in a few things about the Black Box.

Mel had been reticent to let her include information on the underground fights in the article at first, but since what she was doing wasn’t _technically_ illegal and she went through proper channels for the bets, Laura convinced the organizer to allow a few key things to be included. She didn’t mention Mel’s name, or the location of the Black Box, but she talked about a few of last year’s big fights and the techniques she was planning to use over the weekend. The article wouldn’t get printed until the next week, so there was no harm in laying out what the fight was going to be like, was there?

Laura’s mind wandered to the next evening’s fight. She realized she didn’t know much about it other than the fact she was fighting Carmilla, that Lilita would be there, and where it was. She didn’t even know who was favored to win. It was usually the vampire over the human, but since she’d apparently been the talk of vamp circles and the underground boxing world, maybe it would be the journalist. She’d been so caught up with training and getting organized for everything with Lilita that she hadn’t put her ear to the ground about her own match.

_Maybe it’s better if you keep your eye on the prize, Hollis. Don’t worry about the match. Worry about_ **_her._ **

When she fell asleep that night, all that ran through her mind was what it would be like to see Lilita Morgan’s face in the crowd tomorrow night. Domineering, terrifying, hungry. It filled her sleep with nightmares of being tortured and killed, watching Carmilla be tortured and killed, and watching the taller blonde lock Carmilla in boxes in the basement… and sometimes the box was filled with blood. She woke up more tired than she had been when she drifted off.

In the morning she rolled over and felt something crinkle against her face. She groaned confusedly as she slowly opened her eyes and her senses came back. Picking up the piece of paper that was on her pillow, she held it away from her face so she could read it.

 _You are divine when you sleep, pet,_ it read.

She immediately called Carmilla.

No answer.

_Dammit, baby vamp._

She didn’t want to leave a message in case Carmilla was with Lilita and would overhear or something. She sent the brunette a text:

_I need to talk to you. Please call me. It’s urgent._

 

She went out for a morning run while waiting for a reply. It didn’t come for an hour.

Baby Vamp: _Are you okay? I can’t get away from Satan herself._

 

Laura took a breath then sighed it out into the morning air. She wanted to tell Carmilla, but she didn’t want to blow whatever the vampire was doing at the moment. She bit her lower lip as she answered:

_I’m okay. I’ll tell you tonight. If we get a moment alone._

Baby Vamp: _I’ll make sure of it. I always want a moment alone with you._

* * *

As the sun was beginning to set that night, Laura hurried down the street toward the Black Box. She hadn’t heard from Carmilla since the short interaction that morning.

_She’s fine. She’s busy with Lilita._

She headed down a small alley and knocked on a metal slab of a door, offering the bouncer behind it the password to get inside, then telling him her name. He let her through and she walked down a rickety old set of stairs. The basement opened up into a grand theatre with a boxing ring in the center. Laura had not stepped foot here in _years,_ and they’d certainly made some upgrades since she last saw it. Regulation ring, a whole lighting rig, better seats (though no one ever sat in them)… it looked more proper than some of the other rings she fought in.

“Laura!” Mel said, hurrying over to the small blonde. “How are you, are you ready?”

“I’m good, Mel.”

“Did you know Lilita Morgan is here? She put a hell of a bet on you, Hollis, a _hell of a bet._ Karnstein’s already here, too, she’s getting set up in the locker room—”

“Carm’s here?” Laura asked, hurrying off across the room.

“Yeah, but, wait, Laura, you - you shouldn’t see her before the match! We have a separate space for you—” Mel called, catching up to Laura.

“It’s fine, Mel, we don’t believe in superstitions. We can use the same locker room.”

“Oh you speak for the two of you?”

“Mel, it’s fine, don’t worry about it. Can you send Danny and Kirsch back when they get here?”

“You got it, Hollis.”

“Thanks,” Laura said as she opened the door to the locker room.

Mattie was standing next to Carmilla, who was on the floor doing a series of push-ups. Lilita was striding around the room wearing something far too fancy for an underground boxing match: a gold dress, shimmering five-inch heels (which made her tower over everyone all the more), and her wrists and neck were adorned with small diamonds.

 _It’s not a fundraiser, Morgan,_ Laura thought, scoffing lightly to herself.

Mattie and Lilita glanced over at Laura, surprised to see her.

“The opponent comes,” Mattie said, smiling, and walked over to Laura to shake her hand in some sort of professional display likely for Lilita’s benefit. She walked back over to Carmilla who was now standing and looking at Laura with a mix of anguish and relief.

Lilita sauntered over to the blonde and encased her in a hug.

“Lovely to see you again, dear,” she said. Laura awkwardly tried to hug back but wasn’t into it. “I meant what I said,” Lilita whispered in the journalist’s ear, her voice too low for the other two vampire’s to hear. “You look divine when you are asleep. Vulnerable, peaceful, a human worthy of worship.” Her words, her _tone_ sent a shiver up Laura’s spine. “I am devastated your delectable body is to be ravaged tonight by my Mircalla,” she continued, her voice thick with seduction “But I trust it is you that will come out _on top._ ”

The wording she used sent Laura’s body into a frenzy. She knew the woman was talking about the match in the ring… or _was_ she?

“Mother would you look at her face? You’re being off-putting,” Carmilla said, walking over to the two women as Lilita pulled away. “The only one who should be making her blush like that is me.” Then the vampire reached down and slowly brought Laura’s hand to her lips, offering it the chastest, softest of kisses.

_Oh. It has begun._

Lilita nearly gawked at the display, and then brought her hands together in a light clapping motion.

“Mircalla, you didn’t tell me _this_ is the ethereal being you’ve been in such a tizzy over.”

“I do not brag of my conquests, Mother, was it not you that taught me that is tawdry and rude?” Carmilla asked, never taking her eyes off Laura. The journalist felt herself shrinking under the gaze of the three vampires.

“Quite right, darling, but you can always tell _me._ Especially if you are to be involved with such exquisite creatures. You know how interested I’ve been in you and _this one._ ”

Laura felt like she was melting into the floor.

“Come, Mother, let us give these two a few minutes to collect themselves before the fight,” Mattie said, breaking the tension and stepping forward to offer Camilla a kiss on the cheek. Laura was grateful for Mattie’s tact.

“Yes, I do suppose you are right, Matska. You girls be good, now,” Lilita said as the two taller women left the locker room.

Laura let out the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. Carmilla let go of Laura’s hand.

“How are you?” the vampire asked.

“Peachy,” Laura said, putting her bag down and taking out her wraps to begin wrapping her fists.

“Do you want to go over anything?”

“Do you?” Laura snapped.

“Gods what crawled up your butt?” Carmilla said, stepping backwards and trying to survey all of Laura in one eyeful.

“This is overwhelming for me, Carmilla. Lilita and Mattie and— and— and _you_ with your courtly displays—”

A laugh spilled from Carmilla’s lips.

“Courtly displays?” The vampire snorted, laughing again.

“It’s not funny, Carm!” Laura raised her voice, then lowered it again. “Lilita was in my bedroom last night.”

“ _What?_ ” Carmilla said, suddenly sobering.

“She left this on my pillow,” Laura said, pulling the note from her bag and handing it over to Carmilla. The vampire studied it carefully.

“You’re sleeping at my apartment tonight,” she said quietly after a few minutes. “I’ll not have you alone when Mother comes to call.”

“Little hottie!” Kirch’s baritone broke the moment between Laura and the vampire as he and Danny bounded into the locker room. “Little hottie and Carm sexy!”

“Call me that again and I’ll drink from your decapitated head,” Carmilla said, sounding almost bored.

“Whoa, scary hottie.”

“That’s just as repulsive,” the vampire spat as she walked over to her own bag and began wrapping her fists.

“How are you feeling?” Danny asked. “Ankle good? Wraps good? What do you need?”

It was comforting to have her friends in the locker room with her, but Laura wanted to keep talking with Carmilla about the fight, about Lilita. Everything was overwhelming and it was all building under her skin.

“I’m good, I’m fine. You guys are both going to be in the corner with me, yeah?”

“Of course, little hottie,” Kirsch said, sounding hurt she would even imply that there could be a world where they _wouldn’t_ be there.

“Always,” Danny offered, squeezing Laura’s shoulder.

* * *

At the end of the third round, Laura could tell that Carmilla was pulling punches. The audience could sense it, too, and started calling the vampire out on it. As the fourth round began, Laura immediately pulled Carm into a headlock and whispered in her ear, ‘don’t hold back. I can take it,’ then tossed her against the ropes. The audience cheered.

They danced around each other, both waiting for the others’ next move.

 _It’s on you, Karnstein,_ Laura thought, her fists up and protecting her face. Carmilla’s eyes were focused, and for a second Laura thought she saw them flash yellow. But then it was gone.

Carmilla moved then, jab (blocked), hook (blocked), and undercut (dead hit). The bruising sting caught Laura just under her ribs. She groaned and countered, but the vampire whipped her fists away as if they were flies.

The audience’s energy was building, and Carmilla’s nostrils began to flare, her eyes growing hazy with the fight, hazy with passion. The vampire was getting drunk off the room’s collective lust for the fight.

Laura threw out a low kick, then a high kick. Carmilla blocked them both and sent Laura reeling onto the mat. She pulled her up and held the blonde in a chokehold from behind. Laura felt herself growing dizzy as she thrashed, her teeth grinding down on her mouthguard. The journalist wound her left arm up and sent a crushing blow back into the vampire’s ribs. Carmilla gasped and let Laura go. The audience was buzzing.

The blonde staggered to her feet, Carmilla following. The vampire was losing herself, Laura could see it. With superhuman speed, Carmilla threw out a series of punches. Laura blocked a few of them but before long she couldn’t see them coming. Three consecutive ones caught the tiny blonde in the face, one above her eye, causing her brow to split, one to her jaw, sending a searing pain across her face, and one to her cheekbone.

Blood was flooding from her eyebrow now, freely flowing down her face, getting in her eye.

“Ref! Time out for that eye!” Laura heard Danny call.

“Hey boxing bro, you heard the lady!” Kirsch’s voice followed, but Laura was so lost in the match that it sounded like he and Danny were in a far away tunnel.

Carmilla’s eyes grew yellow, her gaze fixed upon Laura’s face. Her baby vamp’s fangs appeared, tongue running along their razor sharp edges as they always did.

The next thing she knew, Laura felt a burning in her neck unlike anything she’d ever felt.

Then… darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for stickin' around, and as always, for your comments, kudos, and for my lurkers that don't say anything - I still see ya, and I appreciate you just as much.


	13. I'm Here, Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura's state is touch and go, a deal with Lilita is struck, and Carmilla suffers through a familiar punishment.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Lilita's abuse of Carmilla both past and present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Incredible readers,
> 
> Your kind words and responses to this little fic have made my heart sing. Thank you so much.
> 
> Hope you like this next. This chapter is a lot angsty and a little fluffy, the one after this is a lot fluffy and a little angsty... hope you're into that.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

“I’M NOT LETTING YOU GO IN THERE!”

“You’re not going to stop me.”

“THIS IS YOUR FAULT, CARMILLA, SHE COULD DIE. GO HOME BEFORE YOU DO ANY MORE DAMAGE.”

Laura’s eyes flickered open. The bright florescent lights of the room were overbearing her senses. The beeping of the machines, the loud yelling outside the door, she turned and could just barely make out LaFontaine and Carmilla.

“I need to see her.” Carmilla’s voice was soft but Laura could still hear it.

“How about you go and find JP, hm? Learn how to control yourself? You have plenty of other things to do.” LaF’s tone was one Laura knew well, their ‘that’s final’ voice.

Then unconsciousness took Laura again.

* * *

“The blood loss was severe, and she’s falling in and out of consciousness. Our top priority right now is the infusion and making sure there isn’t any lasting brain damage.”

The door to the room was open this time and Laura could hear the deep bass of Doctor Corningstone. Perry and JP had talked about him before and Laura met him a handful of times. Good man. Strong doctor.

Out of the corner of her eye, Laura could see the equipment she was hooked up to, but hell if she knew what any of it was.

Her neck and face burned furiously. Pieces of the fight began to come back. Carmilla had bitten her. _Bitten her._

The room went black again.

* * *

The basement was dark, the feeling medieval in nature. A single wooden box sat in the middle of the room. It looked almost like a coffin. Laura shivered as she stepped forward. A low crying eminated from its contents.

“Mother, Mother please,” the small voice came. Carmilla’s voice, but so broken there was barely a shred of the woman she knew in it, and distinctly younger sounding than the blonde was used to. “I can’t breathe. I’m so hungry. Mother _please!_ ” Carmilla cried, more loudly now.

Laura’s heart clenched in her chest.

“This is for your own good, Mircalla.”

Laura whipped around and laid eyes on Lilita. She was harsh, manic, less put together than the journalist had seen her before.

“I’m so cold…” Carmilla whined.

“And my prized daughter is undead because of you.”

“I didn’t mean to! I’m sorry!” Carmilla wailed, and Laura’s jaw clenched. The girl had _nothing_ to be sorry for. It wasn’t her fault.

“You come back at all hours of the night, Matska covers for you every time. You think me a fool? That I cannot see through these charades?”

“Mother, please…”

“Victor would still be alive if you hadn’t have run out into the darkness that night. He never would have chased you, never would have been swiped by that van. Matska would still be alive if you learned to control your temper… your indiscretions are adding up, darling.”

Words were no longer enough for Carmilla, she was openly weeping now, sucking in breath and wailing like a caged animal.

Blood began to seep out from the coffin.

“What _shall_ I do with you?”

Laura could not contain her sobs as she heard what Carmilla cried next. The girl begged, pleaded, for Lilita to end this. To kill her.

“Oh, dear, no, no, no. You must atone for your mistakes, Mircalla,” Lilita demanded as Carmilla’s cries grew louder and louder until they were all Laura could hear.

* * *

“LaF, Perry, how is she?” her father’s voice echoed in the room. _Dad,_ she thought, and the smallest of smiles came onto her lips.

“They think she’s going to be okay, Sherm,” LaF’s voice said gravely.

“I knew she shouldn’t be fighting in those matches,” Laura’s father huffed.

“No one can stop her when she sets her mind to something,” LaF said, a hint of affection in their voice.

“You’re telling me,” Sherman said, and his eyes fell on the tiny journalist as her eyes opened and her gaze met his.

“Laura!” LaF and Perry exclaimed at the same time.

“Honey, oh honey,” her dad said, rushing to her side and taking her hand in his. She felt so small, so vulnerable.

“Daddy…” she whispered, her voice barely able to make the word. She wasn’t terribly fond of calling her father ‘daddy’, especially in front of her friends, the term made her feel childish. But in that moment, that’s exactly what she felt.

“Shh, baby, it’s okay,” her father cooed.

“So sleepy…” Laura trailed off before falling back into oblivion.

* * *

When Laura awoke again, she found the room around her empty. She was more alert than she had been before. Her face felt swollen, and she reached for her neck where there was a soft bandage covering the vampire bite.

“She’s awake again!” Laura heard LaF exclaim and she slowly turned toward the door as LaF, Perry, Danny, and her father all ran into the room.

“Laura, honey,” her father said, sitting next to her bedside.

“Hi, Dad. Hey, guys.”

“You’ve been giving us a hell of a fright these last few days, Hollis. Real touch and go stuff,” Danny said, taking a seat beside Laura’s father.

“How are you feeling?” her dad asked.

“Like I had the life drained out of me. Literally,” Laura groaned. Her body ached. Ached from the fight, from the nightmares, from the blood loss.

“I don’t want you fighting anymore, Laura,” the journalist’s father said firmly.

“This wasn’t — Dad this wasn’t like that,” Laura said weakly, frustrated she’d just woken and this conversation was already happening.

“Laura Eileen Hollis, you almost died,” her dad said, taking her hand.

“Can we not talk about this right now?” Laura asked, wanting to avert her eyes from her father’s, but she stood firm, holding his gaze. He sighed.

“You’re right.”

“Where’s, um, where’s Carmilla?” Laura asked, eyes wandering around as if that was going to make the vampire appear.

“LaFontaine kicked her out as soon as she showed up, honey,” Perry said. “She hasn’t been back since.”

“Oh.” Laura’s heart felt heavy in her chest. Carmilla wasn’t there. She wasn’t waiting for Laura to wake up. Was she with Lilita? Where was her baby vamp?

“Carmilla, the vampire that bit your neck, _was here_?!” Sherman hollered.

“Dad, stop, please, you’re so loud,” Laura whined. “Carmilla and I… it’s complicated. Yes she attacked me but it’s… we’re… ugh I don’t know,” she finished, sighing.

“Well she’s damn lucky she wasn’t here when I showed up,” Sherman said, curt.

“Oh, darling, I am so very relieved to see you’re all right.” The voice came from the doorway and Laura didn’t even have to look over to see who it was. Lilita had come to call.

“Lilita! Come in,” Sherman said, his voice friendly, as he stood.

“ _Excuse me_?” Laura said, perhaps too forcefully. LaF, Perry, and Danny followed suit.

“Lilita stopped by last night after I sent you all home. She was devastated over what her daughter did to you, Laura. She brought me a fantastic meal from this restaurant she owns—”

“ _Viru,_ ” Laura said. It was not a question, and her eyes bore into Lilita’s.

“Of course, darling. And there’s quite a large buffet our in the waiting room now. _Viru_ has brought enough for all the patients, doctors, nurses, and families and friends. Sherman, Laura’s… friends…” she eyed LaF, Perry, and Danny as she said so, “do go out and enjoy. I’d love a moment to speak with Laura alone.”

“Lilita, I don’t think I can tear myself away from Laura's side—” Sherman began.

“Sherman, of course, such a dearly devoted father. But you need to keep your strength up.”

“I think I’d rather stay here with L,” LaF said, and Danny and Perry agreed. Laura saw Lilita’s eyes flash yellow for just the fraction of a second.

“Go. Eat. _Please._ ” she said slowly, maintaining her polite demeanor, but Laura knew if she could have, she would have snapped it like the order it was.

LaF, Perry, and Danny strode from the room.

“They can bring me some, really, Lilita. I’d prefer to stay with my baby girl,” Sherman said. Laura found it intriguing Lilita wasn’t using her powers of persuasion or whatever they were to force her father from the room.

“Sherman, I am not my daughter. I want nothing but the best care for your child and I will stop at nothing to see she gets that,” she said. Everything in Laura was tightening. She knew she had to talk with Lilita, but she didn’t _really_ want to.

“It’s okay, Dad,” Laura said, trying to pour all her love for her father into the look she gave him. Just… well… in case.

“We have some girl stuff to talk about, correct, my dear?” Lilita said, winking at Sherman and then looking over at Laura.

“Oh… oh….” Sherman was suddenly blushing and becoming anxious.

Laura was furious. Lilita was using her mother’s death as a reason to push her father from the room. Trying to pretend she could step in and fill the role of talking ‘girl stuff’ with Laura or whatever. Whatever that even meant. _Stupid social constructs._

 _“Something like that,”_ Laura said with an edge.

“Can I bring you anything, honey?” Sherman asked as he stood up.

“I’m not very hungry,” Laura said. “Thanks, Dad. Love you. Bye.”

“Honey, I’ll be right back. You don’t have to say good-bye,” Sherman said, bending over and offering Laura a kiss on the forehead.

“I know. I just feel a little sentimental, I guess,” Laura said and squeezed her father’s hand. “Now go get some food before they run out!” She smiled at her dad, and he returned it. The knot in her stomach was growing tighter. As soon as he left the room, Lilita spoke.

“We seem to keep meeting under the pretense of you almost dying, my pet,” Lilita said, removing her jacket and placing it on the back of the chair by Laura’s bed.

“Why are you here, Lilita?”

“Darling, I am here to apologize for Mircalla’s _barbaric_ display the other night.” Lilita sounded offended that Laura would dare question why she had come.

“Why do you call her that? Mircalla?” Laura asked.

“That is her given name, dear. She adopted this Carmilla nonsense during an adolescent rebellion phase. She’s never quite grown out of it. Even in her death,” she drawled, bored. “But no matter, she is atoning for her mistakes.”

The phrase hung heavily in the air, ringing in Laura’s ears. She’d heard that before.

“She’s what?”

“Atoning for her mistakes, dear, you know, making amends?” Lilita said.

“I know what ‘atoning’ means, Lilita. So that’s really why she isn’t here. You’ve locked her up again in that horrible basement, haven’t you?”

“My, my, she has told you some stories,” Lilita said, her voice dripping with threats. “No, she is not in a basement.”

“That doesn’t fully answer my question.”

“Pet, you have just awoken after days of your body being wracked and near death. Must we with this?”

“Don’t call me ‘pet’ or ‘dear’ or ‘darling’ or any other version of a crappy nickname. Only Carm gets to do that,” Laura said.

“Well aren’t you two just so perfect for each other? A righteous champion and a broken demon.”

_Bite your tongue, Lilita._

“Where is she?” Laura pushed.

“Somewhere safe, until she can learn to handle herself.” Lilita waved her hand around. Then she chuckled. “Her punishment this time is quite poetic, if you ask me.”

“I didn’t. Why. Are. You. Here?” Laura asked, sounding each word out slowly.

“I don’t like to see pretty things bruised,” Lilita purred, stepping forward and running her finger along Laura’s cheek. “And you are so very, very beautiful, Miss Hollis.” Lilita brought her own wrist to fangs and bit, small beads of blood beginning to form. She brought her arm to Laura’s lips. “Drink.”

“Gross, no,” Laura said as she turned her head away.

“It will not turn you, Laura. You would have to be drained for that to be the case. Surely you know that. This is simply to help you heal.”

“I don’t want your blood.”

“It is not a request, Miss Hollis,” Lilita said calmly. Laura said nothing, but turned away. Lilita brought her wrist up to her own mouth and licked the blood away, lapping at the wound. It closed instantly. “Fine. Would you prefer we make a deal? You drink to heal that tremendous specimen of a face, and I will give you Mircalla’s location.”

“Why do you want me to heal so badly?”

“You’re writing articles on me for your small magazine, are you not?” _Oh shit, she knows about that?_ A low laugh came from her mouth. “Yes dear, I do.” _She can read minds?!_ “Only sometimes.”

“What does that have to do with me healing?”

“Pictures, darling, _of course._ We shall have to take some. And you shall look your most divine when we do.”

Laura had no words.

“You drive a hard bargain, my dear. What shall we do to make this right for you? Shall I return your friend JP to his apartment?” Laura stiffened. “Yes, that seems fitting.” She took out her phone and dialed a number. “William, please go and retrieve Armitage. Bring him home. Yes, boy, I mean now. Thank you.” She hung up the phone.

“He will be back in his home in thirty minutes. So…” The last word hung in the air.

“Tell me where she is first,” Laura said, meeting the CEO’s eyes.

“Hmm, you _are_ hungry to charge in and save Mircalla, aren’t you?”

“You’re asking a great deal of me, Lilita. I don’t drink _demon blood._ And I sure as hell know there’s something more to this than _pictures,”_ Lilita’s taut muscles tightened beneath her skin. Did she really think Laura was so foolish to think this was about a photo op? “If you want me to do it so badly, why don’t you just command me?”

“I’d prefer if you do it of your own accord.’

“Tell me where Camilla is.”

“I will have a driver take you there when you are released.”

“I’ll drink when I have Carmilla back.”

“The day you return with her.”

“The day I return with her. Fine,” Laura said.

“Why Miss Hollis, have we just made a deal?” She held her hand out to Laura.

_A deal with the devil._

“You have my word, Ms. Morgan.” Laura shook the woman’s hand.

“Excellent,” Lilita said, an insidious grin lighting up her features. “And darling, do not attempt to break this agreement.”

“Don’t even try to get that driver to bring me anywhere but where Carmilla is.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it. I am a woman of my word. Our handshake solidified the transaction: a… pledge of fate, if you will. If either of us refuses to deliver, we die.”

_An Unbreakable Vow?! Shit._

* * *

Laura found herself back in her apartment two days later, having been released earlier that morning. Her father had taken her, Perry, LaF, Danny, Kirsch, and even JP out for a big breakfast with an overwhelming amount of pancakes and syrup. Not that Laura was complaining.

JP had been quiet, but he kept shooting thankful glances at Laura. LaF and Perry were doing the same, along with questioning glares. She hadn’t told them how she’d managed to get him back, just that she had.

Her mind wasn’t fully on the meal as she pushed her food around her plate. It was on the deal she struck with Lilita ever since the event occurred. What had she done?

Furthermore, Laura was desperate to find where Carmilla was being kept. The two additional days in the hospital were _agonizing —_ not only would the nightmares refuse to cease, but Laura knew that they painted exactly what Carmilla was experiencing at any given moment.

Once she has assured her father she was going to be fine and that she had articles to write (and promising she wouldn’t get back in the ring right away), she had sent him on his way halfway across the country to get back to his life and work.

As she closed the door behind him, she let out a great sigh. Tears suddenly sprang to her eyes. It had been an insane week, and she’d spent half of it unconscious.

She caught her reflection in the mirror and for the first time, she took a good look. Her face was swollen, and purple and blue bruises were painted all across her cheeks. The stitches above her eye itched. She pulled the bandage on her neck aside: two wounds, deep and penetrating, stared back at her. They were uninfected, and Laura briefly wondered if the hospital had used an anti-venom or if LaF had silently sneaked it in and administered it.

Her phone rang. An unknown number. She thought twice about answering it, but decided to anyway.

“This is Laura,” she said in her cheeriest tone.

“Laura, it’s Mattie,” Mattie spoke quickly.

“MATTIE!” Laura exclaimed. “What’s happening? Do you know where Carmilla is?”

“William is on his way to you. He should be there in a moment. Mother wouldn’t let me go with you, she said you and you alone were to fetch my sister. But be careful, Laura, Carm has never been pleasant after a session in the box.”

“Well would you be?”

“Certainly not. I don’t know why mother is sending _you_ after what Carmilla did. How are you faring?”

“I’d be much better if Carm were here.”

“I’m sure you would, darling,” Mattie said, a suggestive note in her tone.

“I didn’t mean like that, Matska,” Laura said, rolling her eyes.

“Mmmhmm. Save my number in your phone, dear, in case you need anything. And do take that nifty crossbow with you. You never know what may come out of that coffin. She did, after all, bite you at the match.” Then she hung up.

Laura grabbed her bag and flopped down on the couch, anxiously awaiting the driver.

Her phone buzzed again. Another unknown number. She answered.

“This is Laura.”

“Miss Hollis, yes, my name is William. I am here to collect you.”

“I’ll be right down, William, thank you.”

* * *

Will was the driver she had seen the first day she had seen Carmilla and Lilita together. He was the CEO’s personal chauffeur. Apparently, he was also a vampire and another one of Lilita’s foster children.

“Are _all_ her children vampires?” Laura asked, and then regretted it. _Smooth, Hollis._

“Now, yes. Lilita never wanted to turn Matska or Mircalla, but both have now joined the ranks of Lilita’s less favored children.”

“Carmilla was one of Lilita’s favorites?”

“For a long time, Miss Hollis. For many years when she was a child, I thought she outranked even Matska.”

“What happened?”

“I do believe that is for Mircalla to answer and not myself,” Will said, his tone cordial but firm. Laura looked out the window and watched as they left the city and the hills of the countryside rolled passed them. Where had Lilita put Carmilla? The hills turned into mountains, and part of Laura was sure she was being taken to the woods to be murdered and buried in the box with Carmilla.

Laura unlocked her phone and sent a text to LaF:

_I’m going to be out of town for a few days. Don’t worry about me. Here’s Mattie’s number, in case something happens. Take care of JP._

LaffyTaffy: _Laur, you just said not to worry about you and then you give me Mattie’s number ‘in case something happens’? Where are you going?_

Laura sighed and answered,

_I’m going to find Carm. Lilita locked her away somewhere._

LaffyTaffy: _LAURA EILEEN HOLLIS. That vampire just bit you!_

_It’s something I have to do, LaF, it’s part of whatever’s going down. I’ll be safe. I have the crossbow with me._

LaffyTaffy: _Send me the address. Just in case._

The car pulled into a long, dirt driveway which opened spectacularly onto a view of the far off city and the rest of the mountains. A gorgeous cabin lay off to the left, and a simple well sat to the right. Will stopped the vehicle.

“We’ve arrived, Miss Hollis,” he said as he stepped from the car and opened the back door for her. “The cabin is fully outfitted with anything you’ll need to care for Mircalla.”

_There is something so very disturbing about this._

A low, echoing moan came from the well.

“Oh you have _got_ to be kidding me,” Laura said as she ran to the stone circle’s open-air top.

The well was large, bigger than any she’d ever seen when she was a child and her mother and father took her camping or into the mountains. Looking down, it seemed to never end. She couldn’t see the bottom.

“Please, please, I’m sorry, Mother, please, I’ll be better, I didn’t mean to…” The sentences came as broken chants in a stuttering voice. Carmilla sounded the way she had in Laura’s nightmares: shattered, desperate, hopeless.

“I shall help you pull her up, then I am under orders to leave before you remove her from the coffin,” Will said as he stepped up next to Laura and took the well’s thick rope in hand.

They struggled to haul the coffin from the well, but after a few minutes they had pulled it up and placed it on the ground. It was chained shut.

Will handed her a small ring of keys and began walking back to the car. He turned toward Laura before climbing in.

“I am grateful for you, Miss Hollis. You made Mircalla smile again. You softened Mother. She has never gone easy on my sister, and before you, she never would have let her out of her punishments early. Good luck,” he finished.

“Will, what’s the address here?”

He rattled it off and Laura entered it into her phone. Then Will got in the car and drove away.

Laura looked around and realized there was no other mode of transportation sitting in the driveway. She was _stuck._

 _Here. Alone. Digging up a vampire. That bit me a few days ago. Yeah, this is a horror movie waiting to happen…_ she thought as she turned back toward the coffin.

 _Moment of truth,_ she mused, reaching toward it, her hands shaking.

A sudden pound came from the inside of the box.

“JUST FUCKING KILL ME, LILITA! I’D RATHER BE DEAD! I’M SORRY! LET ME TELL HER I’M SORRY AND THEN YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WILL. PLEASE, PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP!” It was animalistic, throaty, gargling. “Please…” the last was quiet, sobbing.

Laura lurched forward and undid the locks on the coffin. She threw them aside and with trembling fingers lifted the lid. Blood sloshed out onto the ground and there her pale baby vampire lay, as curled up as her prison would allow.

The brunette was shivering in the gallons of blood. The journalist couldn’t tell if the vampire even knew that she had opened the lid. She stepped forward and reached into the coffin, scooping her baby vamp out and carrying her to the cabin door, both women now dripping with blood. Carmilla nestled into Laura’s neck like a cat, but still didn’t open her eyes.

 _I’m here. I’m here for you,_ Laura repeated over and over in her mind.

She stepped up to the cabin door and fumbled with the keys under the weight of Carmilla’s body. After a few awkward seconds, she got the key in the lock and turned. The door opened and she stepped inside.

Laura looked around. First thing was first, she needed to get herself and her baby vampire cleaned up. There was a set of stairs off to the left, leading up to what looked like a large, loft-style bedroom. An open-plan living room was sprawled out in front of them, bleeding into a large kitchen. The refrigerator had a transparent door and Laura could see multiple bottles of wine and blood with the _Viru_ logo splashed across them, along with a multitude of fruits, vegetables, and other food items.

“Bathroom, bathroom…” Laura mused, scanning the space with her eyes. Next to the stairs she saw an open door and caught just a glimpse of a large clawfoot bathtub.

“Bingo,” she said as she carried Carmilla toward the corridor.

The bathroom was enormous, the tub could easily fit two and a large shower sat next to it, its giant rain spout protruding from the middle of the ceiling. There were two sinks, a bidet, a toilet… and a large wooden bench against one of the walls.

Carmilla still hadn’t moved in Laura’s arms and the journalist carried her over to the bench, sitting her down onto it.

 _This bathroom is like the size of my apartment…_ Laura mused as she walked over and turned the shower on, holding her hand under it to test the temperature.

“C-cupcake?” Carmilla whispered quietly, and Laura turned. The vampire’s eyes were on her, the blood on her face beginning to dry. “Is it really you?”

“I’m here, Carm, I came for you.”

Carmilla shook her head.

“No. No. Not again…” The vampire’s head was now tilted toward the ground, her eyes squeezed shut. “Stop, stop, stop it.” She clung to the sides of her head, shaking uncontrollably.

“Carm, it’s me, I’m here,” Laura stepped up to her baby vamp and put a hand on one of her hands. “Shhh…”

“NO! IT’S HER! SHE’S DOING THIS! Th-this is twenty-nine, number twenty-nine…” Carmilla was rocking back and forth on the bench.

“Twenty-nine what?”

“Twenty-nine times you’ve carried me into this house. And-and then I wake up back in the coffin…” Carmilla’s body continued to move forward and back. Laura’s heart broke. Lilita not only locked the vampire in a box full of blood, but had her on some hallucinogenic loop.

“I’m real, Carm, I’m real.”

“You always say that,” Carmilla whispered, and her fresh tears were mixing with the caking blood on her face.

“Baby vamp, it’s me,” Laura said, hoping the use of the nickname would pull Carmilla back to her. She knelt in front of the vampire and took her face in her hands. Their eyes met.

“L-Laura?”

“I’m here, baby, I’m here.” Laura dropped the second part of her nickname for Carm.

“You came for me,” the vampire whispered, and Laura and threw her arms around the brunette, letting the woman cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you liking? I debated whether or not Laura should immediately go to save Carm. I wrote a few versions of this chapter but this was the one that felt most true.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, commenting, sending kudos, and lurking. :) You are all beautiful souls.


	14. This Desolate Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla finally get a second to breathe. But basically only one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just felt mean to leave you guys with such a gut wrenching chapter 13 and not upload 14 soon after.
> 
> Sappy Carmilla is sappy. Sappy Laura is sappy. Sap sap sap.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.
> 
> Thank you for all the reads, comments, and kudos.

Laura nursed her vampire back to sanity that night. She cleaned her up, noticing the brunette shivered in the shower despite the water’s warm temperature. Then Laura ran a bath and hummed quiet songs as she let her baby vamp soak away her tears.

“H-hungry…” Carmilla stuttered at one point, and Laura’s legs flew her into the kitchen to get the vampire two bottles of _Viru_ blood. She brought them back to the bathroom and let the woman drink.

Usually when Laura had a woman in a bathroom, it was _very_ different. But nothing about this was usual, and nothing about it was remotely sexual. Laura had gotten into the shower with Carmilla, cleaning her and letting the pain and blood swirl down into the drain. Now she sat at the side of the bathtub, wrapped in a towel, holding the bottle delicately to her baby vamp’s mouth while she fed.

Quietly Carmilla finished, both the bath and the blood, and Laura helped dry her off.

“Stay here,” the blonde whispered and walked out of the bathroom. She ascended the stairs to find a few closets and dressers. She opened a few drawers before finding what she was looking for: clothes for Carmilla. Flannels and tanks and leather pants. She picked a black tank top and a faded red checkered flannel, and opted for sweatpants as opposed to leather. She wanted her vampire comfortable, not restricted. She grabbed some sweats for herself, too.

One of the dressers held underwear, and she picked out a pair and though she had just spent the better part of two hours with a naked vampire, _this_ was the thing that made her blush. She tossed the panties on top of the pile of clothing and carried them back to the bathroom, helping Carmilla get dressed, then dressing herself.

The night was quiet, serene, despite the flowing undercurrent of Carmilla’s abuse. Laura heated up some food and then she and the vampire sat on the porch outside and looked at the stars.

“So small…” were the first words Carmilla had spoken since declaring she was hungry.

“Hmm?” Laura mused.

“We’re so small. So insignificant.”

“Not insignificant, Carm.”

“Look at them, each a light source, each a whole world of possibilities. The universe is ever expanding, and yet we’re here, bound to one planet, one existence, one life, and one death…”

Carmilla was obviously finding her voice again. Laura didn’t want to push and talk about what had happened in the coffin, and she certainly didn’t want to ask about what had happened in the match. If she knew her baby vamp, she would bring it up in her own time. _It is kind of_ ** _killing me_** _not to ask, though…_

“You’re cold,” Carmilla said, looking over at Laura who was shivering just barely.

“I’m fine.”

“I hate when you say that.”

“I hate that you think you’re insignificant.”

Carmilla’s eyes met Laura’s, and there was so much unspoken in the gaze. Laura saw gratitude, hope, and pain. So, so much pain.

“How do you feel?” Laura asked after a few moments of being lost in the vampire’s eyes.

“I’m fine.” Carmilla’s stare moved away from Laura and focused back on the sky.

“If I’m not allowed to say that, you’re not either.”

“I’m not ready.”

“To talk about the coffin?”

“To talk about _what I did to you,_ ” Carmilla said, her voice cracking and so quiet. “How did you find me?”

_Shit I didn’t think she was going to ask that so fast._

“I, um, have my ways.”

“You are a mystery, Laura Hollis. Why?”

“Why am I mystery?”

“Why did you come?” Carmilla met Laura’s gaze again, the question burning in her brown eyes.

“I said I wasn’t ever going to let her put you in a box again. When she did, I had to get you out. I take my promises seriously,” Laura said, her fingers finding Carmilla’s hand and squeezing.

“I don’t deserve that. This. Any of it. You…” The vampire’s voice sounded far away, her eyes even farther.

“Carmilla, we all make mistakes. It doesn’t mean we deserve to be locked in coffins. You deserve everything good that happens to you. You deserve someone to be around to pick you up when you fall.”

“No, I’ve been terrible. People are dead because of me. Look at you, your face is bruised and broken. And your neck… what I did… you could be dead because of me.”

“Carm, I’ve said it before, but I’ve been terrible to you, too,” Laura said, holding her chin high. It was tearing her heart apart to hear her baby vamp care so little for herself.

“Terrible to me? Oh, cupcake, no.” Carmilla’s voice was soft but steadfast, and she brought the journalist’s hand to her lips and gave it a small kiss. “From the moment I first saw you… you, Laura Hollis, have been the one star in my ever-darkening universe. I would walk a thousand miles over molten sand to place an offering upon the altar of your arms… to gain your trust, to earn your forgiveness.” It was supposed to be soothing, but it broke the dams of Laura’s resolve and she began to sob. Hard. “Shhh, shhh…” Carmilla brushed a strand of hair behind Laura’s ear and started a low hum, a tune Laura had never heard before, but it soothed her to the center of her being.

After a few moments, Laura’s tears slowed and her breathing evened out.

“There’s my girl,” Carmilla said, stroking her cheek. The journalist pushed into it and closed her eyes. Laura was dumbfounded at the exclamation, but Carmilla seemed like nothing out of the ordinary had just come out of her mouth. The blonde was so lost in the moment, everything about the match and the coffin was momentarily forgotten.

“ _Your_ girl?” Laura managed, somehow disbelieving and hopeful all at once.

“Since I helped an adorable, stumbley, tiny journalist into her apartment on her birthday.” This brought a small smile to Laura’s lips, but Carmilla wasn’t done. “Oh, cupcake, you’ve been my girl since this forsaken planet deemed my broken soul worthy of wandering along its desolate earth.”

At this point, the breath had all been but taken from Laura’s lungs. Carmilla had done it again, disarming the smaller blonde with her words.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Laura whispered, as if it was for Carmilla’s ears and hers alone. Which, truthfully, it was.

“Please.”

“In my head, when I think about you, you're mine, too,” the journalist said, reverence in her eyes. “My little, sappy, baby vamp.”

Carmilla began to groan and roll her eyes, but Laura silenced her with a small, soft kiss on her lips. The blonde heard her baby vamp’s small gasp of surprise. The kiss was lazy, languid, and so, so tender. Laura nearly whimpered under the weight of how vulnerable the moment was.

“I would find you if Lilita buried you in the catacombs. If she took you to a graveyard where all I could see were stones and coffins, I would open every one to find you,” Laura sighed against Carmilla’s lips when they pulled away from each other.

“I’m supposed to do the saving, creampuff, and all I’ve done is drag you through the mud and hurt you.”

“I would be hurt ten thousand times if it meant I got to sit under the sky with you. I would see you, Carmilla Karnstein, even if I could see nothing else.”

Bloody tears pooled in the vampire’s eyes and Laura felt two tender fingers tip her chin up and Carmilla brought their lips together again. The journalist’s heart swelled: their kisses were sweet, naive, and filled with an ancient kind of intimacy, like there were no words in modern language to describe them.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I will find out and do that and only that for the rest of my wretched days,” the baby vamp whispered, taking just enough time away from Laura’s lips to say it before kissing the blonde again.

“Mmmm,” Carmilla hummed when they pulled apart, wiping the red residue of her own tears from Laura’s face. “If this is death, I would gladly trade in my ticket to the afterlife to stay here forever.” The vampire drew lazy circles on top of Laura’s hand with her fingers. “Remove the bandage on your neck.”

“W-what?” Laura gulped.

“The bandage, cupcake, please take it off. I should heal my mistakes.”

Laura’s fingers slowly made their way to the white fabric, and she pulled the tape away from her skin, revealing the wounds.

“Gods, Laura, I am so sorry,” Carmilla said, her eyes stuck on the puncture holes.

Laura could say nothing. Her fingers found the back of her baby vamp’s head and pulled her face toward the wounds. The vampire offered two small kisses atop each puncture.

Then when Carmilla’s tongue met the journalist’s skin, it was like fire and ice combined and shot across her body, sending her reeling. She couldn’t help the groan that escaped her lips as the vampire lapped at the wounds she had inflicted days earlier. In this moment, Laura didn’t care if the brunette vamped out and devoured her. She would have _welcomed_ it.

After a few seconds, Carmilla pulled away.

“I could… I could help take care of your face, too,” she said sheepishly. Both women were clearly affected by what had just occurred, but still too nervous around the other to act on it.

“No!” Laura exclaimed, knowing she still had to drink from Lilita and not knowing what the CEO would do if she arrived home healed. “N-no, it’s okay.” Guilt flared in her chest. How could she be sitting here, kissing this magnificent creature, everything she’d ever hoped for, and not bare every part of her soul to her? But she couldn’t. Not yet. It would tear the vampire in two.

Carmilla then stood, slowly, as if she had all the time in the world to do so. She held out her hand to Laura. The blonde looked at her baby vamp quizzically.

“Laura Hollis, may have this dance?” the vampire asked shyly. Laura placed her finger’s in the brunette's palm. _You can have anything you want._

“Yes, Ms. Karnstein. Yes,” Laura said, standing.

Carmilla took one of Laura’s hands in her own and snaked the other around her waist. Laura was lost in a sea of emotion, of sensation, of this incredible woman standing before her that a mere few hours before had been drowning in a coffin of blood.

Carmilla began a singing. It was a low, jazzy number that Laura recognized but couldn’t quite put her finger on. They moved in a slow dance, like nothing in the world mattered, nothing but the two of them.

“Does the panther hurt?” Laura asked after they’d been swaying quietly for a few minutes.

“It all hurts. It always hurts,” Carmilla answered, as though it was nothing.

“We’re in this together, Carmilla, all of us. You’re not alone,” Laura whispered softly into the vampire’s ear.

* * *

Laura awoke the next morning in a state of utopia. Her baby vamp was curled up next to her, all but purring in her sleep. She was safe, not locked in a coffin. They had hurried off to bed soon after their dance, so exhausted by the day they could barely stand on their feet.

The morning sun poured into the loft: they were too tired to even close the curtains the night before. Laura didn’t care, and Carmilla didn’t seem to be disturbed.

The journalist climbed from the covers, her stomach rumbling. The kitchen was outfitted with everything she could have possibly wanted, and before long, the entire cabin was filled with the aroma of coffee (burnt, as always, because she could never get it right), pancakes, bacon, and maybe a mimosa or two crafted with the _ludicrously_ expensive champagne she had found in the refrigerator.

_I mean if I’m going to be here on Lilita’s dime…_

Laura had headphones in her ears and was dancing uncontrollably to the pop music playing as she flipped pancakes and bacon. Her baby vamp was okay, upstairs sleeping (and hadn’t attacked her last night), she had delicious food in front of her, she was nestled in the woods, JP was safe and sound… who could ask for more?

The beat pounded in her ears as she swung her hips. She nearly flipped one of the pancakes out of the pan but caught it just in time. As soon as it was back comfortably and cooking, she continued to dance. Her eyes moved toward the stairs and her body stilled, her jaw dropping.

Carmilla was languidly striding down each step, clad _only_ in a silken bathrobe.

Laura immediately opened the fridge, pulled out a bottle of _Viru_ blood, poured it into a mug and topped it off with coffee as Carmilla made her way over to the blonde.

The vampire’s arms wrapped around her waist as she stared at the mug on the counter.

“I won’t complain, but you don’t have to serve me, creampuff,” she said as she placed a kiss on the journalist’s neck.

“Carmilla Karnstein, drink your blood coffee before you flirt,” Laura said, pulling the pancakes from the stove.

“Mmm, yes ma’am,” Carmilla husked, picking up the mug and taking a sip.

"How can you seem so... okay?" the journalist asked. 

"I have a lifetime of bouncing back behind me, cupcake," the vampire said, but she didn't quite meet Laura's eyes.

“How are you feeling?” Laura asked as she moved the pancakes and bacon from a pan to a plate, drowning them in syrup. 

“Like some bitch locked me in a box and put me at the bottom of a well,” Carmilla said nonchalantly, then put her mug down. “Like I danced with the most beautiful woman under the stars last night.” Laura blushed. “Like there aren’t enough words in all the languages on earth to describe my atonement for hurting her.” Carmilla’s hand stopped Laura’s from dragging any pancakes on the fork in front of her to her mouth.

“Carm, we talked about this last night,” Laura said, lowering her food back to her plate.

“Laura, your baby vampire has something very important to say,” Carmilla said, no resentment when she uttered the nickname. Laura’s ears perked up and her eyes met the vampire’s. “I have never been special, or lucky, or even really happy.” Laura began to protest but Carmilla continued before the journalist could speak. “I spent most of my time being punished by a shitty foster parent, or fighting in matches in hopes I could punch the pain away. It worked for a bit.”

“Carm—”

“When I was in the cage in LaF’s lab—”

“Carm, I’m sorry about that, I never—”

“Gods, cupcake, would you let me finish?” Carmilla said with a slight snicker. Laura shut her mouth immediately. “When I was in that cell, you apologized because you couldn’t save me. Do you remember what I said?”

“‘Never say never, cupcake,’” Laura repeated.

“I believe that you, Miss Hollis, dragged out some fancy armor from some closet and saved me fair and square. Thank you.”

The vampire played with the tie around her waist, teasing her tiny blonde savior with the sight of it.

“Why, Miss Karnstein, are you saying you were a damsel in distress?” Laura’s raspy throat managed to growl out.

Laura’s forgotten, untouched breakfast grew cold for the next hour.

* * *

Laura would be lying if she said she wasn’t afraid of what her vampire would do in… certain situations. After all, she _had_ attacked Laura under the influence of bloodlust from a crowd of people during a boxing match.

But her fear dissipated as she lost herself in the slow, sensuous, tender expedition they shared. Not once did her vampire’s eyes turn yellow.

The journalist had never had an experience like that. Not even her first time back in high school. Not with Danny. Not with anyone.

But with Carmilla, her baby vamp, it was different. It was _everything._

* * *

Laura ate her cold pancakes and bacon, humming happily. Her hair was sticking out at awkward angles and a goofy smile lit up her face. She watched as her vampire opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of blood.

“Like what you see, cutie?” Carmilla asked, looking the blonde up and down.

“Just admiring my _prize_ ,” Laura joked and winked. The vampire _blushed._ Honestly _blushed_ at the comment. “Why Carmilla, are you scandalized to be called a prize?”

Carmilla’s eyes grew serious, her entire body tightening.

“I’ve never been considered a prize before, cutie,” she said, her stare meeting the floor.

Laura couldn’t have hurried more quickly off the barstool. She pulled Carmilla’s chin up with her fingers until her baby vamp’s eyes were meeting hers.

“Get used to it, _cutie,_ ” Laura said before she pulled the vampire’s lips to her own. The kiss grew before they pulled away from each other, breathless. Well, Laura was breathless. Carmilla didn’t even have to breathe.

_Lucky bitch._

“Carm?” Laura began, looking at the gorgeous creature in front of her, unsure of how she came to have her in her life. She knew she had to tell her, but what was there to say?

“Yes, dear?” Carmilla said, that half-smirk lighting up her features.

“I have something to tell you…” Laura trailed off, ashamed and unsure of how to bring it up.

The room was quiet for a moment. Carmilla stepped closer and took one of Laura’s hands in her own.

“You have an STI, don’t you?” Carmilla said, very seriously, searching for an answer in Laura’s eyes before her lips extended into a wide grin.

“CARMILLA! _”_ Laura laughed, slapping the vampire on her shoulder.

“I would still be into you if you did,” Carmilla said, winking at the blonde.

“I do _not_ have an STI. I would have _told_ you,” Laura laughed. “I did make a deal with Lilita, though,” she said so quickly that the words all bled together.

Carmilla’s face immediately fell, growing serious.

“ _What?_ ” the vampire said, and it was more of a demand than a question.

“Oh, I’m sorry, should I have let you _rot in the earth?”_ Laura asked violently.

“Laura, she will eat you alive,” Carmilla growled.

“Like you?” Before the sentiment was out of the journalist’s mouth, Laura regretted it.

_Where did that come from?_

Carmilla was immediately quiet, her head suddenly bowing.

“Laura—”

“Carm, no, I didn’t mean that.”

“No, you did. It’s okay,” Carmilla sighed. “I did eat you alive.”

“Carm—”

“Cupcake, let’s cut the bullshit,” Carmilla snapped, and suddenly the room became smaller. Laura’s chest tightened under the pressure. She’d never been very vocal about her anxiety attacks, but they always bubbled under the surface, and they always reared their ugly heads at the most inopportune moments.

Everything was in surround sound, the buzzing from the lights, the birds chirping outside, Carmilla’s silence. A fierce pain lit up beneath her breastbone, constricting her breathing. She stumbled back, knocking over the barstool, and the blonde crashed to the floor, landing on her knees.

“Laura?” Carmilla was at her side instantly. “Laura what is it?”

Laura couldn’t form words. Her breath was weak and shallow as she tried to gulp lungfuls of air that wouldn’t come. She groaned.

The journalist shut her eyes tightly and tried to take deep breaths through her nose and exhale through her mouth, counting to herself, trying to slow her huffing.

“Laura what can I do?”

“H-h-hug m-me,” Laura managed. Carmilla’s arms wrapped around her delicately. “H-harder. T-the pressure h-helps,” Laura coughed. Carmilla tightened the embrace and after a few minutes Laura’s breathing began to steady, the pressure in her chest lifting. “Sorry, I’m sorry, Carm,” Laura said quietly, wiping a tear from her cheek. Her attacks usually made her cry, especially if they were in front of someone.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Carmilla whispered, rocking Laura’s body back and forth. “I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“N-no you were right. We should cut the bullshit,” Laura said as Carmilla helped her to her feet. “You bit me. It was scary. But it’s not scarier than the thought of not having you in my life because of it.”

Carmilla clenched her jaw and nodded, both guilt and admiration for the girl painted on her face.

“And I told Lilita I would drink from her if she told me where you were,” Laura said, her voice and body now shakey.

“Gods, Laura, no,” Carmilla said, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head. “Why? _Why_ would you do that?”

“I couldn’t let her do that to you.”

“What about what she’s going to do to you? We don’t know what her blood will do inside you!”

“She said it wouldn’t turn me…” Laura said quickly.

Carmilla stepped away and ran her fingers through her own hair.

“Mother says a lot of things. Mother lies. _A lot._ And just because it won’t turn you doesn’t mean it won’t do _something._ ”

“Well I’m kind of stuck in it now.”

“You didn’t. Cupcake tell me you didn’t make a pledge of fate,” Carmilla said, shaking her head.

“…I can’t.” Laura shrunk under the glare her baby vamp gave her next.

“When?”

“The day we get home.”

“So we’ll just stay here,” Carmilla said, her tone final.

“Carm, we can’t just stay in your mother’s cabin—”

“ _My_ cabin, cupcake. _Mine,_ ” Carmilla corrected. Laura’s eyes grew wide.

“ _Yours?_  Lilita imprisoned you under _your own house_?”

“She’s all kinds of screwed up, creampuff, we know this.”

“I don’t think us staying here is going to solve the problem,” Laura sighed.

“Yeah you’re probably right. It’s nice to imagine, though, isn’t it? You could write out on the porch,” Carmilla stepped closer to Laura. “ _I_ could make us coffee in the morning, because you burn it, we could dance under the stars every night…” The vampire wrapped her arms around the blonde. “We could sleep whenever we want, however we want,we could christen every last inch of this gorgeous cabin…” she raised her eyebrows suggestively.

“Carmilla Karnstein, are you trying to seduce me?” Laura met the vampire’s gaze, mock surprise coating her tone.

“Ouch, was the first time so bad that I have to _try_ now?”

Laura slapped her baby vamp on the shoulder.

“Of course not.”

“Good cuz it didn’t _seem_ terribly agonizing for you…”

Laura leaned forward and placed a small kiss on the vampire’s lips.

“Nothing about you is agonizing,” Laura whispered and when she pulled away, she saw Carmilla’s eyes were full of a sense of wonder.

“Could you, um… say that again?” Carmilla asked, suddenly blushing and growing timid under Laura’s comment.

“Nothing about you is agonizing,” Laura brought their lips together again. “You are kind.” Kiss. “And secure.” Kiss. “And sexy.” Kiss. “A little uncontrollable.” Kiss, and Carmilla smirked against the journalist’s lips. “And going to let me drink from Lilita so she doesn’t kill us.”

The women pulled away from each other and Carmilla sighed.

“I don’t know if I can do that, cupcake.”

“Carm, it’s the only choice we have. We don’t have endless time, here. I need to get back to work, you need to get back to Lilita, we can’t stay here forever. You know that. Every second is a second I’m worried about my friends.”

The women stood staring at each other for a few minutes. Laura could tell the vampire was desperately trying to think of what their next steps should be.

“At least let me talk to Mattie and see what we can figure out about what her blood will do to you. She wouldn’t want you to drink it if it didn’t benefit her in some way.” Carmilla was pacing around the living room now.

“Yeah she said she just wanted me to heal so we could take photos for the articles. I didn’t buy it for a second.”

“Can we stay one more night? We’ll leave in the morning. Just give me some time to wrap my head around this,” Carmilla said, wringing her hands. “And I want just one more day to spoil my knight, my _girlfriend._ ”

“Girlfriend, eh?” Laura smirked.

“If you’ll have me,” Carmilla said, shrugging.

“There isn’t a single thing I’d rather have,” Laura said, stepping forward and kissing her vampire. It was electric every time. She didn’t think she would ever get used to it. “One more day,” she murmured as she watched her baby vamp reach for her phone. The brunette unlocked it, searched for a number, and held it to her ear.

“Mattie. Yes, I’m fine. We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me! I'm so happy our girls got a minute to tell each other how they feel.


	15. A Case of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The glorious, fluffy reverie is broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So glad you all enjoyed the fluff of the last chapter! It is, unfortunately, short lived.
> 
> As always, thank you for all your support on this little fic.
> 
> Hope if any of you were at ClexaCon this past weekend that you enjoyed yourselves! I know I did.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

Carmilla spent the day hovering over a laptop in the small, back-facing fenced-in porch of the cabin.

Laura interrupted her once. Twice. Fine, it was twice. A well worth it twice.

What Carmilla didn’t realize while she was reading ancient texts and studying up on anything she could find about pledges of fate, was that Laura was attentively and painstakingly making a divine dinner for the two of them.

The tiny blonde danced happily in the kitchen amongst the food, half of which she had infused with blood from the _Viru_ bottles, half of which she kept bloodless for herself (thank you very much). This included wine she let sit in blood all day and little individual chocolate cakes, Carm’s with a molten bloody center. The journalist may be a failure when she brewed coffee, but she was a hell of a cook and baker… thanks to Perry.

Laura knew the real world was anxiously awaiting her. And while she was itching to get back and protect her friends, she couldn’t help but love that she was in an isolated cabin with her girlfriend. _Her_ girlfriend. Her _girlfriend._ The term had never felt so right, so honest, so _fitting._

Plus, as Carm said, they didn’t know what drinking from Lilita would do. Laura was starting to think it was going to irrevocably change her or kill her. Or something. And she wanted one more night to say good-bye to her baby vamp.

 _“Cupcake!_ I found something!” Carmilla bounded into the kitchen, the grin of a four-year-old on her face. She stopped suddenly when she saw Laura in the middle making the meal. Her eyes immediately shifted.

“Mmm, what’s this, creampuff?” she said, slyly sidling up to Laura and wrapping her arms around the small blonde, offering her a small kiss on the neck.

“If my baby vamp is hard at work trying to figure something out, the least I can do is _feed her,_ ” Laura said.

“Hmmm, your baby vampire is just doing what her incredible girlfriend did for her. Simply returning the favor,” Carmilla said, beginning to trace kisses along Laura’s neck.

“Carm, do you really think that?” Laura asked, pulling away and forcing the vampire’s eyes to meet hers.

“What?”

“That you owe me?” The question wasn’t forceful or judgmental, but a quiet investigation.

“I owe you everything,” Carmilla said, and there was no trace of snark or joke in her voice as she turned Laura to face her.

“You don’t have to save me,” the journalist whispered, leaning her forehead against the brunette’s.

“Oh, creampuff, by now _I know that,_ ” Carmilla snickered. “Doesn’t mean I won’t try. I think I, too, could look quite dashing in armor, riding into the sunset on horseback.”

“That’s something I’d like to see.” Laura leaned in and placed a kiss on Carmilla’s lips.

“I think that can be arranged.” Carmilla smiled as the two shared another soft, slow kiss.

Laura reluctantly pulled herself away and turned toward the glasses of wine she had poured. She handed one to Carmilla, who took it gratefully and sipped.

“Laura, you sneak, you didn’t…” she said after the wine met her mouth, her eyes on the glass. Laura smiled at her brunette as she reveled in the taste of red wine and blood.

“Anything for my girl,” the journalist answered, winking.

“Mmmm, I like the sound of that.”

“So what did you find?” Laura asked, wanting to stay in the intimate moment with her vampire but knowing they had pressing matters to discuss.

“Pledges of fate are age-old. There are hints of them in ancient Sumerian writings, dating back to when gods revealed themselves to humans,” Carmilla began. “Nothing exists for that long without having loopholes.” The snarky smirk Laura had come to know so well lit up her vampire’s features.

“Well we know that if I die the pact is broken,” Laura scoffed.

“I will _not_ let you die.” Carmilla growled, the energy of the room suddenly shifting.

“I was kidding, Carm.”

“I wasn’t. Your humanity, your _life,_ are precious, Laura.” Carmilla took another sip of her wine, eyeing Laura with a serious gravity. “But if the maker of the pact agreed to it upon the life of someone already dead, it’s void.”

 _Dammit, Lilita._ **_That’s_ ** _why you let JP go._

“…I didn’t,” Laura said after a second, her eyes unable to meet her baby vamp’s.

“What?”

“I…I didn’t. It wasn’t just you. She let JP go, too.”

“Bitch. That _conniving bitch,_ ” Carmilla growled, turning and throwing her now empty glass toward the wall. It shattered, spraying small shards around the living room. “I’ll be in the back.”

“Wait. Carm, wait!” Laura called, running after an already moving Carmilla. The vampire turned. Her eyes were blazing yellow, her fangs protruding.

“She can’t have you, too.” With that, Carmilla flew into the porch and slammed the door behind her.

Laura spent ten minutes carefully cleaning up the glass.

She thought Carmilla was going to be locked away for hours, but she set the table nonetheless and lit the candles. Her eyes glanced toward the front door. She had a surprise for Carm out there, too.

_Should I go bring in the candles?_

_Nah, Hollis, eat first. You’re hungry._

She brought the wine to the table and sat down. Ceremoniously, she poured a glass for herself and then one for Carmilla, even though she was pretty sure she wouldn’t see her vampire until the morning.

While Laura was never one for formal prayer, she bowed her head and began to speak to her mother.

“Hey, Mom. I know we don’t talk as much as we used to,” the journalist began. “I’m sorry about that. But I know you’re busy, too. Busy kicking butt in the afterlife. I miss you. Like, every minute.” Tears began to form in her eyes. “I don’t know what I’m doing. It feels like all my choices lately are hurting people. Me, my friends… I wish you were here.” She shook her head and began wiping her cheeks.

“I met a girl, Mom,” she continued after a minute. “I think you’d really like her. She’s snarky, and gives me all the best kinds of shit. But she’s so kind. She looks at me, and…” More tears began to fall down her cheeks. “She looks at me and I give exactly zero fucks about anything else in the world. I just wish you could meet her, Mom.” Laura reached for her wine glass and saw Carmilla out of her periphery.

The vampire took her breath away. She was wearing a crimson dress, low-cut, slit along her leg, stretching all the way up her thigh. The brunette was all leg and cleavage. Her near raven hair was slung over one shoulder, twisted and curled tenderly at the ends. She wore a bright red shade on her lips.

“I would have loved to meet her too, cupcake,” Laura’s baby vamp said as she strode slowly toward the table, taking her seat.

Laura felt underdressed, still in sweats. A flush grew on her cheeks.

“Carm, you look—” Laura began, but couldn’t finish.

“Like nothing compared to you,” the vampire said, her eyes boring holes into Laura’s soul. The blonde’s cheeks immediately flushed red.

“You don’t have to—”

“Tell you how amazing you are? How incredible you look, even in sweatpants? I think I do, cupcake. And I think I will.” The vampire’s voice was sensual, sending a spike of emotion across Laura’s chest as the brunette took a slow sip from the wine in front of her, shooting another shock across the blonde’s body.

“Stop it, Carm.”

“I will not.”

The vampire’s deep pools bore into Laura’s as the blonde took a long sip from her wine glass.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing,” the vampire said, smirking, but there was a sadness behind her eyes.

“Wh-what is that?” Laura said, suddenly feeling shy under the gaze and tone of her baby vamp.

“This. All of this. The food. The drink…” she trailed off.

“Um, okay, um, can you give me a few minutes?” Laura asked, blushing. She stood from the table and excused herself, walking up the stairs to the bedroom.

She had no idea if there was anything in there that would fit her, let alone look good on her. Yes she and Carm may fit some of the same clothes, but their hips were different sizes, their chests were different sizes, the colors that looked good on each of them were different…

Laura huffed as she searched through the closet _Something_ had to work here. Near the end of the rack she came across a strapless, deep green number that flared out just slightly at the bottom. Her lips turned up when she saw it. _This is it._

* * *

The stairs felt different beneath her bare feet as she descended. Carmilla was sipping from her wine glass as her gaze turned toward the tiny journalist’s, and the vampire nearly spit when her eyes laid on Laura.

 _I will never get used to the way she looks at me,_ the blonde thought, moving one foot in front of the other, desperately hoping to make it down without _falling_.

Carmilla wiped her lips on a napkin, standing, and making her way toward the small boxer. Laura’s body tightened slightly but she tried to push it away, more interested in losing herself in the few quiet moments she had left with her baby vamp.

No matter what happened, she was drinking from Lilita tomorrow. She would never tell Carmilla that. Or LaF. Or Danny. Or anyone. But if she had to, she would do it. So tonight, tonight was _hers._ ** _Theirs._**

“Ms. Karnstein?” Laura asked, her tone steadfast but her eyes shy.

“Yes, Ms. Hollis?” Carmilla asked.

“Will you come outside with me?” Laura asked, offering her hand. Her brunette looked at her quizzically for a moment before fitting her palm into Laura’s.

The tiny journalist smiled and they slowly strode toward the door. Opening it, she led Carmilla outside. Lit with a handful of candles and torches (listen there was only one of Laura, she didn’t have all the time in the world to make this perfect), she led her vampire into the night.

But Carmilla wasn’t paying attention to any of it. Her eyes were on Laura and Laura alone. The blonde smirked and led the brunette to the well. Her hands were shaking slightly, even within the firm grasp of her vampire. She hoped she hadn’t overstepped her bounds.

They arrived at the open-air topand Laura finally spoke.

“Surprise, Carm.”

She watched as Carmilla’s eyes moved from her face to the well. It was cemented up. Not fully, Laura hadn’t had the funds to completely fill it (despite her desire to), but about five feet down there was a firm cement floor.

“Laura…” Carmilla sighed, as much as a vampire could possibly sigh.

“I-I know it’s not totally full, I couldn’t afford it, but LaF hooked me up with—”

Her sentence was cut short by Carmilla’s lips (and who was Laura to complain?)

“I promise I’ll do the rest of it when I can,” Laura whispered after they broke from the kiss moments later.

Carmilla’s eyes were nothing like Laura had ever seen. Vulnerable, ferocious, protective. It was beguiling and transfixing all at once.

“LaF, they know someone,” the blonde said. “He lives a few miles away and works in construction. He had access to a cement truck and came and did it today,” Laura continued, shrugging. “He was a little weirded out by the coffin, but I told him it was a leftover Halloween decoration.”

“In April?” One of Carmilla’s eyebrows arched.

“Meh.” Laura shrugged.

“I can’t believe you did this, cupcake,” Carmilla said, her eyes finding their way back to the well.

“I can’t believe you didn’t hear it,” Laura said, giggling.

“I was… engrossed,” Carmilla said shyly. Laura’s gaze followed Carm as the vampire sighed and turned away. Then the brunette looked back at her, eyes on fire.

“I’m not saying good-bye to you, Laura. I know what you’re doing here, tonight, with everything. I’m not doing it.”

“I just wanted, I just wanted to have one nice date night with you. In case…” It was Laura’s turn now to look away. “You know.”

“We’re going to have plenty of date nights. You’re going to get sick of them. I just got you, and I am not letting you go.”

“So possessive,” Laura said, trying to lighten the mood and the tension building in her chest.

“Vampire.”

Carmilla’s phone began to ring and Laura could have sworn her baby vamp growled from somewhere low in her chest. The brunette took her phone out from where she’d concealed it in her bra.

“Mattie. Talk to me,” she said, beginning to pace. “Yeah, I found that too, won’t work, Laura bargained with JP’s life, too. Uh huh. What? Lilita _what?_ Mattie, no, when—”

“Sleep,” a demanding voice came from behind Laura and Carmilla. The vampire crumpled to the ground. Laura’s eyes grew wide as she turned to face Lilita.

“What can I say, pet? I grew impatient,” she said, as she sidestepped toward the well. “Oh how poetic. Did you do this? You _do_ care so much for my little Mircalla.”

“She’s not yours.”

“Mmm, but you are, aren’t you, dear?”

“We made a deal, Lilita, and I plan on keeping it. But these were not the terms.”

“Yes, terms, pesky things, aren’t they?” Lilita’s finger was tracing along the stone walls of the well. “I see Mircalla took care of your neck. But not your stitches, not your bruises… saving those for me, were you?”

“Cut the shit, Lilita,” Laura said, her tone curt, vehement. “You’re intimidating, and yeah, a little scary, and you seem to have this insane hold over your children. But don’t mistake me.”

A laugh came from deep within the CEO’s chest. It was full, genuine, but completely harrowing.

“Though she be but little she is fierce.”

Laura rolled her eyes.

“Yeah I’ve never heard that one before.”

“Has Mircalla been wracking herself to try and find a way to save her little pet?” Lilita mocked.

“What will it do, Ms. Morgan? Drinking your blood? Let’s be adults here and talk openly and honestly.”

“Oh is that what _adults_ do?”

“It’s what the adults I surround myself with do.” Laura stood taller still, and though Lilita towered over the journalist, she didn’t shrink under the woman’s gaze this time. “You’re a bully, Lilita, I’ve dealt with people like you my whole life.”

“Tsk tsk, did anyone ever teach you to respect your elders, you insolent child?” Lilita was suddenly directly in front of Laura, the CEO’s hand resting softly upon Laura’s neck, her eyes glinting with threat, her voice dripping with choler.

“I respect those that _earn_ my respect. I don’t freely give it.” Laura pressed into Lilita’s hand and the edge of the journalist’s mouth turned up just slightly as the taller vampire’s eyes narrowed excitedly. “Do it. _Do it._ ”

“Mircalla, dear, do be a good girl,” Lilita said, her eyes still on Laura. Carmilla’s body convulsed slightly and she stood, eyes a blazing purple.

_Well that’s new._

“Mother, please, I don’t want to,” Carmilla said, but it was void of any emotion. She was robotic. It was… unnerving, to say the least.

“I will not ask again, darling,” Lilita said.

Carmilla walked over to the coffin and knelt. Laura watched as the brunette submerged her hands into it and formed a cup. She drank.

“Umph,” Carmilla grunted, her face contorting with pain.

“ _Drink,_ ” Lilita demanded, and the baby vampire did as she was told again, then her grunts became piercing wails.

The taller blonde’s hand was still wrapped around Laura’s neck.

“What are you doing?” Laura whimpered, her strength seeping out of her body second by second at the sight of Carmilla in so much pain.

“Dear, the blood is poisoned, of course. You didn’t think I’d bury her in a coffin of something she could _feed on,_ did you?”

“P-poisoned?” Laura stuttered.

“Oh, yes. It’s quite excruciating, really. But worry not, darling, it shall only take a few minutes. Mircalla, again, if you will.” The brunette took another drink, and her screams were so loud that Laura was sure they could be heard in the city.

“S-stop it,” Laura said, squirming under Lilita’s hand.

“I could save her, of course,” Lilita said. “But what will you give me?”

“What do you want?”

“You know what I want, Miss Hollis, don’t be coy,” Lilita drawled, the index finger of the hand not wrapped around Laura now petting the girl’s cheek.

Carmilla began convulsing on the ground, her bloody mouth starting to foam red, her eyes rolling back into her head.

“Oh dear, it looks like it’s taking less time than anticipated. Tick tock, Miss Hollis.” Lilita pulled own free wrist to her mouth and her fangs sunk into the flesh.

“How will you save her?”

Lilita removed a small vial from her expensive pant’s pocket. Laura had no reason to trust the woman, no reason at all, but Carmilla’s shaking was becoming weaker by the second. Laura reached to grab the vial from Lilita, but the CEO gripped it tightly and held it just out of reach. She tightened her grip on Laura’s neck and the small blonde gasped. She could no longer breathe.

The vampire lifted her just slightly off the ground. Laura seized and reached for Lilita’s free arm, the one holding the vial, the one whose wrist was dripping with blood.

“Still fighting…” Lilita chastised.

“Your… wrist… you dumb… _bitch,”_ Laura managed. Lilita’s eyes narrowed, her lips turning up in a carnal grin. With superhuman speed, her hand was at the level of Laura’s mouth.

“I’m sorry, Carm,” Laura whispered so quietly she hoped not even Lilita could hear. She latched onto Lilita’s wrist and drank. It was, ugh, _the_ single most disgusting thing she’d ever tasted. Like muddy pennies.

Lilita lowered the blonde and removed her hand from Laura’s neck, snaking it instead around the back of the journalist’s head and pulling her even closer to her wrist. Laura felt a surge of strength, of power, like her veins themselves were an inferno. She didn’t _feel_ any different besides that, she still had all her same thoughts, and she didn’t feel like she was _dying_. But _something_ was happening.

Lilita’s hold on her head slacked and the tiny blonde pulled away, her lips a gorish mess. She was panting heavily.

“There she is,” Lilita said, eyeing Laura hungrily.

Laura wound up and socked the CEO straight in the jaw, and the taller blonde stumbled back a few steps.

“Delicious,” she said, wiping a smidgen of blood from her mouth from the force of the hit. “There you are, darling,” she said as she held out the vial to Laura. Laura grabbed it from her harshly and turned toward Carmilla, whose body had stopped moving, and any light left in her eyes was starting to fade.

Laura ran to her side, then turned to say something else to Lilita, but the woman was gone.

She ripped the stopper from the vial and poured the honey-colored liquid down Carmilla’s throat. After a moment, the brunette coughed weakly.

“C-Carm?” Laura asked weakly.

“Cupcake, what happened?” Carmilla said as she sat up slowly. “Y-your mouth, Laura, what happened?” The vampire’s sentences were becoming stronger and Laura could see her eyes clearing.

“Lilita was here.”

“Are you okay? Did she hurt you? What did she, what did she do to me?”

“She made you drink the blood in the coffin, Carm. It was killing you,” Laura began as the two women stood up. “She had something,” she continued, holding out the vial. “I… took it from her. It saved you.”

“We have to stop meeting like this, cupcake. It’s getting old,” Carmilla said quietly.

“I really, really agree.”

“You smell different,” Laura’s baby vamp said after a moment. “You did it, didn’t you?”

“I’m so sorry, Carm… I couldn’t…” Laura whispered, looking away from her baby vamp.

Tears pooled in the brunette’s eyes.

“You should have let me go,” the vampire said, and Laura could sense the frustration in her girlfriend’s tone.

“No,” Laura said forcefully. “No.”

“Yes, Laura. Yes,” the vampire sighed and walked back toward the cabin, her entire body visibly vibrating. Laura could sense her baby vamp’s tension mounting.

“Carm. Carm wait!” Laura called, beginning to follow. Suddenly she stopped as Carmilla’s head tilted upward towards the sky and a deep scream came from her lungs.

Then the tattered pieces of her dress were scattered across the ground, and a giant panther turned and ran off at full speed into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, a runaway baby panther...


	16. The Transmutation of... Laura Hollis...? Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura is desperate to find Carmilla. She makes some questionable choices and falls deeper into the dark underbelly of the world she's found herself in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter doesn't feel too strange, I was playing around with making tone and time a little funkier to illustrate Laura's mental state. I hope it's not too jarring or weird. Then again, what's happening to Laura is jarring and weird so maybe it fits.
> 
> Loving all your reads, comments, and kudos. You guys are so wonderful. 
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

“Carmilla Karnstein I am going to _murder_ you when you get back…” Laura mused huffily as she cleaned up the candles and torches outside.

She’d gotten back into her sweats to take a walk around the immediate vicinity, but she couldn’t find her baby panther. Sighing, she blew out the last flame and flopped onto the ground.

Where had Carmilla gone? After Lilita? Could she even control herself in panther form? What if she hurt someone? What if she hurt herself?

Laura picked up her phone and finally did what she should have done in the first place.

“Mattie? It’s Laura. Carm’s MIA.”

“What?”

“Lilita… stopped by. Long story short, I drank from her—”

“Laura, you _what_?!”

“She didn’t give me much of a choice, and that’s not the issue right now,” the journalist said, trying to be as nonchalant as possible.

“I beg to differ,” the woman growled on the other line.

“Carmilla is missing, Mattie, focus. She shifted and went running off.”

“Yes, my sister does enjoy her little disappearing acts.”

“Well, you used to go after her when she ran off, right? Where does she go?” Laura asked. She was now practically pacing a hole in the ground beneath her. “She wouldn’t… you don’t think she’d go after Lilita, do you?”

“Alone? Darling, she isn’t so foolish.”

“She wasn’t exactly in her right mind when she shifted.”

“You gave her reason not to be, Laura.”

Mattie’s words stung. Stung because Laura _had_ to drink from Lilita to save Carmilla. But also stung because the vampire was right. The blonde sighed.

“I seem to keep making bad decisions.”

“How do you feel?”

“The same. I feel the same. When I first drank I felt like Wonder Woman for a second and punched Lilita in the face—”

Mattie’s squealish laugh interrupted Laura.

“Oh, darling, you _didn’t_.”

“I did.”

“You are full of surprises, little Hollis. Listen, dear, Carmilla is loyal. She’ll return to you.” Laura took a breath to say something about how she wasn’t going to wait around for Carmilla to resurface, but Mattie continued before she got the chance. “I want you to pay attention to how you feel, if anything changes. Carm has told me about your friend, LaF is it? Maybe you should give them a call. Have them test your blood chemistry, see if anything looks out of the ordinary.”

“And get to them how? I’m in the middle of nowhere, Mattie, with no way out. What, I’m going to Lyft back home?”

“Can you ride a motorcycle?” Mattie mused.

“…Haven’t done it in awhile.”

“Carmilla keeps one in the shed.”

_Of course she does._

“I believe the keys are in a box on the table by the front door. Safe travels, darling,” Mattie said. Then she hung up.

* * *

The keys were, in fact, where Mattie predicted. Laura grabbed them and headed through the house to the back. Stepping out into the yard, she could make out a tall figure standing by the door of the shed. While she couldn’t tell whom exactly it was, she didn’t need to. The heavy lead feeling in her stomach told her it was Lilita.

_What NOW?_

Laura stopped. She couldn’t turn and go back inside, but she could refuse to give into the CEO’s power play. She could make the taller blonde come to her. A low pang sprung into her stomach.

Lilita began striding toward her languidly. Once the woman was close enough to speak at a reasonable volume, she did so.

“Ran away, did she? Typical Mircalla,” the CEO drawled, shaking her head. “Tsk tsk, running from a magnificent creature such as yourself.”

Laura’s body was tight, like her muscles were coiling, but she didn’t seem to have the seething hatred for the woman that she’d had of late. She wouldn’t say she felt anything close to _liking_ her, let’s not go that far, but the absence of disdain was strong enough that Laura took notice.

The pang in her lower abdomen was growing stronger. Laura began to recognize it. It was _desire._ Not desire to sleep with the woman in front of her, but desire to curl up at her feet, to be surrounded and comforted. To feel safe. To feel at home. It began radiating through her, and fast.

“You’re hungry, aren’t you, pet?” Lilita’s low hum spilled from her throat. Laura almost whimpered as she nodded her head.

 _What are you doing, Hollis?_ something inside of the tiny journalist screamed, but it felt far away.

“I know, I know, come here. Shhhh…” Lilita said as she stepped toward Laura and the journalist felt the urge to be encased in Lilita’s arms like a child. Her feet propelled her forward into the embrace, and Lilita gently stroked her hair as she held her close.

Tears sprang into Laura’s eyes as the ache began to dissipate. A full pang filled her chest for a moment as the thought that Laura was betraying her mother briefly crossed her mind.

“Shh…” Lilita cooed, and as quickly as the thought of her mother was there, it was gone. 

Eventually, Lilita broke the hug to lift her wrist to the journalist's mouth. When the CEO presented Laura with a bloody arm again, the small blonde latched onto it.

It didn’t taste as bad as it did before. It actually tasted… well it actually tasted _good_. Sweet, floral almost, and light, despite its viscous quality. Power surged through her veins again.

Laura didn’t know how long they stood there behind the cabin, with her mouth attached to Lilita’s wrist. But eventually the taller blonde’s grip on the back of her head let up, and Laura knew it was time to be done. She pulled away, and Lilita pushed some of the hair out of the journalist’s eyes. Something inside the small blonde said it reminded her of the way Carmilla did that. A shiver ran through her at the idea that anything Lilita did could compare to Carmilla, but it was there nonetheless.

Laura felt… high. Or what she assumed high was like, she wasn't ever one for drugs (besides alcohol). What seemed like hyped up adrenaline pounded through her veins.

“How are you feeling, my pet?” Lilita asked, cleaning her wrist as it healed under her tongue.

“Hmmm…” Laura mumbled, almost euphoric, sated. Something like a purr came from her throat, and she felt the need to snuggle into Lilita’s breastbone. The CEO took the tiny journalist in her arms again and stroked her hair.

“You want me to find your pet, my little one?” Lilita whispered, her fingers soft against Laura’s scalp. The smaller blonde nodded.

“Miss Carmilla…” Laura whimpered.

“Of course you do,” Lilita cooed softly, no sense of malice in her tone. “You have taken to each other…” the taller woman mused, more to herself than Laura. “And I think you could teach her a thing or two about obedience, couldn’t you, my dearest?”

Laura nodded, nuzzling deeper into the strong arms around her, if that were possible.

“You go sit yourself inside, take a rest, you need your beauty sleep.”

Lilita pulled away from Laura and the smaller blonde felt suddenly cold, like a baby whose mother was being torn away.

“It’s okay, dearheart, I’ll be back. Do you trust me?”

Laura nodded. Lilita’s mouth turned up in a maniacal grin (not that Laura in her current state could tell it was maniacal) and kissed the journalist’s forehead.

“Now, inside, and stay,” Lilita said softly as Laura turned and walked back into the cabin.

* * *

Two hours passed before Laura started to wonder what in the _holy Hufflepuff hell_ she had been doing with Lilita. When the power of the blood finally wore off, the first thing the small blonde did was wretch over the toilet for half an hour… mostly because she was so disgusted with what she’d done in the backyard.

Not only had she drank from Lilita _again,_ she’d let herself be held by her. She’d _welcomed_ it. She’d **_craved_** it. She’d… oh no, she’d sent Lilita after Carmilla.

_HOLLIS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!_

She flew from her spot on the bathroom floor toward her phone. She couldn’t call Carmilla, her baby panther had left her phone at the cabin. Mattie, she’d have to call Mattie…

“Mattie, it’s Laura again. Lilita’s going after Carm. Seriously I need to know where Carmilla would go…” Laura’s words were all bleeding together.

“You saw Lilita?” were the first words out of Mattie’s mouth.

“She came here. She… well okay I drank from her again—”

“LAURA!” The anger was palpable on the other line.

“I don’t know what’s happening, I just know she went after Carm about two and a half hours ago. I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m doing. Mattie, if something happens to Carmilla, I don’t—”

“Okay, okay, darling, breathe. Good news, if Carm doesn’t want Lilita to find her, she won’t. Carm’s always had a knack for that. It also means if she doesn’t want _you_ to find her, you probably won’t…”

Disappointment hit Laura like a bus. She had to make this right, she _had_ to.

“And darling, if you can refrain from feeding from Mother anymore, that would be preferred.”

“I know, I don’t know why I did it, Mattie, I-I’m so confused.” Tears of frustration filled Laura’s eyes.

“She can be rather convincing when she wants to be, dear. Do your best. I’ll let you know if I can find anything on Carm. Be safe, Laura.” Then she hung up.

_Always so abrupt._

Laura dropped her phone onto the counter and took a seat on a barstool. Suddenly the weight of everything fell upon her shoulders. She’d let her friends down, Mattie, **Carm _…_** _Oh_ _Carm_. _I’m gonna make this up to you, baby, I swear,_ she thought quietly, vehemently, to herself.

Her muscles began to tense, and she craned her neck from side to side. Everything about her ached. She ran her fingers along her arms and the back of her neck and shoulders, pushing down and groaning under how knotted she was. She caught her reflection in a mirror across the room and stood up, walking toward it.

She looked, holy hell, she looked _good._ Not only healed from head to toe, but _radiant._ Her skin glowed. She cautiously opened her mouth, half expecting fangs to appear. Of course they didn’t.

Her eyes raked over her own body, head crooked to the side. She couldn’t put her finger on it. Yes, she was healed and glowing, but why did she look different? Did she _actually_ look different?

“Uuuuugh,” she sighed, rolling her eyes and walking over to the couch, slumping down onto it. Sure she could take Carm’s bike and ride… somewhere, but where would she go?

_Come on, Hollis, you’re a frakking journalist. Put it together._

Carmilla had shared little with Laura of her past, but maybe the vampire had shared enough. Her baby vamp liked the mountains, the woods, the stars, the dark… she was a fighter, and utterly sentimental despite her hard exterior… where would she go?

 _Where would you go, Hollis?_ she asked herself, and suddenly her mind wrapped around the answer. _Of course. Of_ ** _course._**

Laura reached into her pocket for the motorcycle keys and launched herself from the couch, throwing the back door open and running toward the shed.

* * *

The whipping air of the night was cool against her cheeks as she flew down the mountain. She was a little uncomfortable on the bike, but she could manage. It was like… riding a bike, really. She could get where she was headed within the hour if she went the speed limit. Faster if she gave zero shits and just gunned it. She chose the latter.

* * *

The street was quiet, almost too much so - the motorcycle was the only thing that felt like it could be heard for miles. Laura pulled over to the side of the road and climbed off, taking the helmet from her head and turning off the engine.

The night stood dark, engulfing every inch in front of Laura’s eyes. Pocketing the keys, she strode toward the rundown, rusted gate as her heart pounded heavily in her chest.

Silently, she hoped she was right. Carmilla had mentioned this place in passing once, only once, but the vampire also said the only one that knew about it besides her was Mattie. So where else would Laura’s baby vamp/panther… vampther… go? No, her heart was here. Laura could feel it.

The clearing was small, surrounded by trees on three sides and a stone wall on one, leaving a small opening for the gate that was probably erected in the 1800s. As Laura passed through, a verifiable chill ran down her spine. She was never one for cemeteries, and seeing as her mother had been cremated and scattered, she didn’t visit them all that often.

The feeling of loss was immense as she passed through the gate. The desire for life, for love, for understanding, was almost more than the tiny journalist could bear. There were spirits here, each longing for something.

“I see you. I feel you. But I am not here for you,” Laura whispered, unsure of where the words came from. But suddenly the tightness in her chest became less.

Her eyes grazed the cemetery. She didn’t know what form her baby vamp was in.She couldn’t see her right away, but she could feel her. Carmilla was there. Laura didn’t know how she knew, didn’t understand how she could feel her presence so strongly, but that was the least of the blonde’s worries.

Looking around, her whereabouts wasn’t immediately obvious. Laura turned the flashlight on on her phone and glanced around the small cemetery. She couldn’t see her baby vamp anywhere. Wandering amongst the stones, she finally came to Lucian and Audrey Karnstein’s. Placing a hand atop each, she closed her eyes and bowed her head. They died when Carmilla was five — a car accident. Her baby vamp very rarely mentioned them, she said she didn’t remember much about them, but once she said she sometimes came here to clear her head.

A shift in the trees behind her pulled Laura from her thoughts. She turned and saw a pair of yellow eyes blinking at her.

“Carm?” she asked, flashing her light into the woods. The panther flinched at the sudden brightness, but then closed its eyes. The giant cat sighed and turned away, walking off through the trees.

“Carm, wait!” Laura called, but her panther didn’t turn. “CARMILLA!”

The vampire did not appear.

“CARMILLA KARNSTEIN YOU COME OUT HERE!” Laura’s voice echoed into the night, but nothing followed. A palpable pain invaded her chest. She felt betrayed, cold, and abandoned. Her vampire didn't want her. Not here, not now. What felt like a crater was carving its way into her heart.

She sunk to the ground, her back leaning up against the gravestones of her girlfriend’s parents, and the tiny journalist (who never once in her life had felt quite _this_ tiny) let herself cry.

* * *

The tiny journalist lost all sense of time and it wasn’t until the sun began to peak over the horizon that she realized she’d curled up at the foot of the Karnstein’s graves and had been crying there for _hours._ She’d cried about Carmilla, about Lilita, about her friends, her mother, anything that was pent up inside her had come flooding out. She sat up, knowing she had to get out of the sob bubble she’d built for herself.

Picking up her helmet, she made her way back to Carmilla’s bike and hopped on, driving through the early morning back to the cabin. She hoped beyond hope that her baby vamp would be there.

She wasn’t. Laura was still unwanted.

The journalist's body was exhausted. Every limb, every fiber, every cell ached beyond belief. But despite this, she felt numb. She walked back to porch and sat down at Carmilla’s computer. Her fingers grazed the keyboard as she opened her email and finished the most recent draft of an article for Betty _._ It was the one about the Black Box and she added in what had happened to her and losing the fight. She even added the bit about Lilita coming to see her at the hospital. She figured it would both please the CEO for now and that she could turn it around and then use it against the woman when the time was right.

After about two hours, she closed Carmilla’s laptop, having sent the article to Betty. It wasn’t her greatest work, but wasn’t her worst. It was, however, the best that her boss was going to get out of her for right now. And it had taken her mind off things, however briefly.

She paced around in the kitchen for some time before deciding she had to get back to the city. The day before she had been itching to get back, excited to be going home strong and with her girlfriend, despite the anxiety about having to drink from Lilita. Now she had drank from the woman, she was without Carmilla, and she was exhausted. How quickly the tides turned. She got herself organized and grabbed the motorcycle keys from the counter. As she turned around, her body jumped: Lilita stood in the doorway.

“Ugh, Lilita, not now,” Laura said, but something pulled at her abdomen when she said it, like she was defying an authority she was strongly attached to.

“Hush, my darling. Did I or did I not tell you to _stay here?_ ” She hit the last two words with such power that Laura immediately flushed and felt guilt flooding through her.

_What the hell, Hollis?_

“Answer me, pet.”

“Yes,” Laura squeaked.

“And did you or did you not obey?”

“…No.” Laura dropped her eyes like a chastised child.

“Are you hungry, dear?” Lilita asked, and Laura realized she hadn’t had a single thing to eat yet that day. The blonde nodded.

“Come here,” the CEO whispered quietly, not as a command, but a coaxing request. Laura’s feet carried her across the room until she stood in front of the tall blonde.

In a motion beginning to happen too often, Lilita bit her wrist and allowed Laura to drink. Like the night before, Laura had no idea how long they stood there, but the ache that had been plaguing the tiny journalist’s bones disappeared as she fed from the taller woman. The same warmth filled her belly, moving up into her chest, and she wanted to curl up at Lilita’s feet.

When the CEO pulled her wrist away from Laura’s mouth and healed the wound, she gestured toward the couch.

“You’re tired, aren’t you, little Laura?” Laura nodded. “Of course you are. Come.” The blonde led her over to the couch and sat down, allowing Laura to curl herself up against the towering woman.

“Where’s Carm?” Laura asked quietly. “You said you’d get Carm.”

Lilita sighed, perhaps a little annoyed.

“I’ll find her, pet, don’t worry,” Lilita said as she continued to stroke Laura’s hair.

“Want Carm,” Laura said, closing her eyes as drowsiness overtook her.

“Laura?” Lilita asked softly.

“Mmm?”

“Do you wish for Mircalla here more than myself?”

“Mmm, s’different,” Laura said, beginning to fall into sleep. “Want Carm. Obey you.”

“Yes, pet. Obey me. I shall find your Mircalla. Now sleep,” the CEO whispered. “And do not go galavanting off when you wake. You are to stay here,” were the last words Laura heard before she fell into a dreamless abyss.

When she woke hours later, her tall CEO was gone. Er, not _her_ tall CEO…

_Jeez Hollis, where’d that come from?_

Carm had yet to return.

Laura knew she had to get back home, but something felt like it was holding her to the cabin. Each time she went to grab the keys to Carm’s bike, something else caught her attention or she just had an overwhelming desire not to go.

_You were told to stay._

_No, oh no, no, no, no, no._

_Yes, Hollis._

_Ah, shit._

She kicked the keys off the coffee table and fell back onto the couch. Confusion seeped into her veins. She felt small, frightened. Ever since she drank from Lilita, she was so hot and cold. On cloud 9 one minute and lost in some deep, dark abyss the next.

_What’s happening to me?_

Tears sprang to her eyes, an all too familiar occurance at this point.

_Please come back to me, Carm. I need you._

“I need you,” she whispered, tears falling down her cheeks, the mess she’d gotten herself into overtaking her once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Laura. So, so tiny. So, so sad.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	17. The Transmutation of... Laura Hollis...? Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla returns. Laura, Carmilla, and Lilita have a chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've got a bit of a crazy weekend coming up and I'm not sure if I'll be able to post at all before mid next week, so I'm posting part two of this two part chapter now, cuz that seems fair to all you lovely readers.
> 
> Still playing with the funky tone and time stuff, and Laura is a bit... unlike her usual self at some points here (as she was in the chapter before). But worry not, our tiny journalist is a fighter. 
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

Laura awoke to a low purring on the floor beneath the sofa. Looking down, she saw her giant baby panther curled up, dreaming soundly. Glancing around, the blonde noticed the sun had gone down.

_How long was I asleep?_

The tiny journalist stretched: her body _ached_ something fierce.

 _Can’t sleep on a couch like I’m twenty-one anymore, I guess. This is twenty-five…_ she mused and reached down to run her fingers through the big cat’s soft fur. Laura’s baby panther shifted into her hand a bit but didn’t wake.

The blonde had no idea how long she had been crying before she finally passed out, but Carmilla had obviously gotten there after. Had Lilita made good on her promise and brought the vampire back? Or had her baby vamp come back to her on her own?

Laura once again felt a nauseous pain in her stomach thinking about what she had done earlier. She’d drank. Again. Curled up to Lilita. Again. Told Lilita she would obey her… more than that, she felt like she _wanted_ to obey her. Like nothing in the world would make her more happy than to have Lilita tell her to do something and for her to do it. That alone made her wretch. So did the idea that she _still_ wanted to obey Lilita, even now.

Something in her wanted the woman there so she could curl up next to her. She had her baby vamp, sleeping on the floor. But it didn’t feel like it was enough.

_You’re foul, Hollis. Revolting._

She ran to the bathroom and threw up pure stomach bile. The only thing she’d had to eat earlier had been drinking from Lilita.

_How long was I asleep? What time is it?_

She threw up again. And again. Until it seemed like there was nothing left.

“Laura, cupcake, are you okay?” Carmilla’s soothing voice came from the doorway. The journalist turned to see her baby vamp clad in that silk robe. The blonde’s body began shaking uncontrollably as she coughed again and spat into the toilet. Carmilla was at her side instantly.

And suddenly Laura was angry with her vampire. Livid even, rage boiling beyond anything the blonde could remember ever feeling. Laura pulled away from the vampire.

“Laura…”

“You left me, Carm. You _left me._ I-I-do you know how much I needed you last night? Today?” Laura was surprised she had any tears left to cry at this point but they sprang into her eyes anew nonetheless. “I’m so scared and I—” She wretched again and flinched when one of Carmilla’s hands tangled itself in her hair softly to pull it back and the other began stroking the space between her shoulders.

“Laura, I know—”

“Carm you don’t know!” Laura cried, so far beyond caring whether or not she was being too loud or dramatic. “Lilita’s been here. Twice. Something…” Wretch. “Something bad is happening. I can’t stop myself from drinking from her.” Wretch. “I’m scared and I needed you and you weren’t here.”

“Laura, baby, you’re so pale, you’re not well, let me take care of you.”

“You _abandoned_ me, Carmilla, in your fucking _cabin in the woods_. Go away.”

“Not when she’s out there—”

“So you can run away when it’s convenient for you?” Wretch. “And come back when it’s convenient?” Wretch. “What about me?” Wretch. “She _is_ out there. And she’s _been here._ You know who took care of me when you were gone? Lilita. She… she hugged me and fed me and lulled me to sleep—”

“Laura.” Carmilla’s eyes were horrified, on fire with guilt and anger and disgust.

“What?” Wretch. “Am I that repugnant?” Wretch. “I am, aren’t I? Just go away. Then you don’t have to look at me.” She wretched again, and this time blood flooded from her mouth and into the toilet.

“Laura—”

“GET. OUT!” Laura shouted, and the force nearly knocked Carmilla over. The vampire’s eyes were wide with fear as she began backing away from the tiny journalist. “GO SHIFT INTO YOUR STUPID PANTHER AND LEAVE ME ALONE, MIRCALLA.” The name slipped from her lips accidentally, but she barely even knew she’d said it. The fire in her blood was so thick that nothing else mattered but screaming.

“Laura, Laura—” Carmilla stuttered as she backed out of the bathroom. Then the brunette’s silk robe was torn to shreds as her panther appeared, its eyes still as fearful as Carmilla’s had been moments before.

Laura wretched again and turned back to the toilet, more blood pouring from her lips. When she looked back, the panther was gone.

* * *

Laura was traipsing through the woods. She came to a small clearing, and immediately recognized it, despite it being day this time. It was the cemetery where Carmilla’s parents were buried.

A small group of people stood around two fresh graves, amongst them a small brunette child of probably five years. Laura would have known that face anywhere. Carmilla as a kid, her eyes red and bloodshot, her face mostly void of emotion, but there was a deep understanding pushing out from her very soul. The girl knew what was happening. Adults never do give children quite enough credit for what they can comprehend.

* * *

Laura found herself suddenly inside a run-down house. It was well-kept enough, but old and had seen far, far better days. She walked down the hallway, worn with aged crayon drawings on the walls and lines with dates, names, numbers, and heights. Glancing into one of the rooms, the journalist saw a young girl, eight maybe, sitting alone on a bed with a notebook on her lap. She wrote furiously. The blonde also noticed that her features were unmistakeable: again Carmilla.

“It’s time, Mircalla,” a voice said quietly from behind Laura. The blonde turned to lay eyes on Lilita, just as tall and stunning as she always was. Something about her was both maternal and cold all at once. Laura turned back around when she heard a small sniffle. Little Carmilla was crying. “William and Matska are waiting for you, Mircalla. Can you be a big girl for me?” Lilita stepped into the room and Laura was shocked at how soothing the woman’s voice was. “It’s okay, baby girl, I know you’re scared.”

“I like it here,” Carmilla said quietly, continuing to write.

“I know, dear, but you’ll like it with me, too. And your siblings. You do love William and Matska so, don’t you?”

“They’re my favorites.”

“I know, dearheart. They’re coming along just for you. Because I knew you wished it.”

* * *

The scene changed again and Laura found herself in very familiar surroundings. It was her usual bar. It was, in fact, the night of her twenty-fifth birthday. She recognized herself stumbling back from the bathroom to meet up with her friends.

“Cat got your tongue, Karnstein?” A voice said from her left. Laura turned to see Elsie, one of her favorite servers, standing by the table. Laura noticed Carmilla was sitting next to her. The brunette scoffed.

“Please, the only thing that ever gets my tongue has it because I want her to.”

“You’ve been salivating over the little blonde all night.”

“Ridiculous.”

The server shrugged.

“Her name’s Laura, by the way.”

"I know."

Elsie grinned and walked away from the table, offering Carm a quick wink. Carmilla dropped her gaze but Laura watched her studiously. When the brunette looked back up, there was a ferocious look in her eye. Fiercely protective, caring, and Laura followed the brunette’s line of sight toward… herself.

“You’re a goner, Karnstein, look at you. In love already,” Laura heard the woman muse. She looked back over and Carmilla was taking a shot before she stood and walked over to the drunk Laura dancing with her friends.

_In love?_

* * *

Laura rolled over and woke. She was in the bed in the upstairs loft of the cabin. Someone had changed her into pajamas. Voices wafted quietly from downstairs.

“You left her Mircalla, she is correct there.”

“Shut up, Lilita, I don’t want to hear it.”

“So testy. My, my, my.”

Laura stood up as quietly as possible and walked over to the stairs. Neither of the women below acknowledged her presence as they continued.

“You go anywhere near her again and I will take her away so far that you’ll never find us,” Carmilla growled.

“Empty threats, darling.” Lilita waved her hand as if swatting a fly away.

“Try me. I’ve never had something as precious as her, and I will not let you taint the one good thing my wretched self has ever had going for me.” Laura’s heart broke at Carmilla’s words. She really had bitten the vampire’s head off, and thinking back, she didn’t know why. All she wanted was for Carmilla to be there with her, and the moment the brunette was, she pushed her away.

_But she didn’t leave._

Lilita’s eyes met Laura’s and the small blonde felt a rush of relief. Conflicting feelings for the two women downstairs were soaking her brain as if she was falling into some drunken haze. She began her descent but found it difficult to put one foot in front of the other.

“Let us ask her what she wants,” Lilita drawled, and Carmilla turned to see Laura walking down toward them. The brunette went pale (paler than usual) upon the sight of Laura.

“Laura, gods, are you okay?”

“Dizzy…” Laura slurred, and the next thing she felt were two strong arms wrapped around her and helping her over to the couch. Carmilla sat her down and then took the spot next to her, pulling her close.

“You brought me Carm…” Laura said, curling into her baby vamp and nuzzling into her neck, breathing deep of her baby vamp’s scent of leather and iron and wood.

“Brought you… cupcake I came back for you all on my own, remember?” Carmilla asked, her tone tight, but Laura wasn’t paying much attention. She began nipping on the vampire’s neck, a sudden heat flushing through her.

“Hungry…” Laura said, continuing to make her way across her vampire’s neck.

“Sundance, stop, before you take me in front of my mother.”

“Don’t care. Need you,” Laura said, beginning to straddle her vampire.

“Cupcake, _stop,_ ” Carmilla said, placing her hands on Laura’s waist and trying to meet her eyes.

Lilita was laughing behind the tiny blonde.

“Are you pleased, pet?”

“Yes. Thank you, Lilita,” Laura said, giving herself just enough time before diving back into Carmilla’s neck. She was practically dry humping her vamp on the couch in front of the brunette’s mother.

“There’s a good girl. At least someone knows how to be grateful.”

“Laura!” Carmilla said, and Laura pulled back when Carmilla grabbed her face and turned it toward the mirror on the wall a few feet from them.

Laura’s eyes met her own reflection. She was thin, thinner than she usually was. Her skin was so pale she was almost translucent, and the bags under her eyes threatened to swallow them whole.

The sight sobered Laura, and a blush made its way to her cheeks. She was suddenly ashamed of her behavior.

“Carm, I’m sorry. Lilita, I-I’m so sorry,” she said, trying to stand, but immediately fell back.

“Shhh, it’s okay darling, you’re just hungry,” Lilita said as she pulled her wrist to her own mouth and bit.

“Oh no you don’t,” Carmilla said, wrapping her arms around Laura protectively, but Laura squirmed in her grasp. She only had eyes for Lilita’s arm, practically salivating as she watched the blood slowly trickle down the CEO’s skin.

“Darling, she needs it, can’t you see her? She _wants_ it.”

“Laura, Laura look at me,” Carmilla said, once again putting her hands on the blonde’s face and pulling her eyes to meet the brunette’s. “Do you trust me?” Laura found herself shaking her head. “Laura, please, I know I left, I had to, I had to get—”

“Hungry, Carm, please,” Laura whimpered, and she would have been embarrassed by how needy she sounded if not for the unquenchable ache spreading through her body. Her skin was vibrating, shaking under the vampire’s strong arms.

“Creampuff you’re like ice…” Carmilla mused, more for her own benefit than anyone else’s as she raked her fingers along Laura’s skin.

“C-cold. Hungry…” Laura said.

“What did you do to her?” Laura’s baby vamp said, her tone ferocious, more panther than anything resembling vampiric or human.

“I’ve made her ours, pet. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted? A home? Someone that would follow you and care for you and never leave you? A shiny new toy?”

“A t— Lilita, Laura isn’t a _toy._ ”

Laura heard the words, but she wasn’t taking any of it in. All she understood was her overwhelming need to drink. She was getting weaker by the second. She felt Carmilla’s hold on her loosen briefly when she said the words, and she took the opening to launch herself off the couch with strength she didn’t think she had and latch herself onto the taller blonde’s wrist.

“Yes, darling, there you go. Uh, uh, uh, Mircalla, stay there.”

Laura felt strength invigorate every cell in her body, like life itself was pumping through her heart. She gasped, groaning, pulling as much from Lilita as the statuesque creature would allow.

She heard Carmilla saying something behind her, no she was screaming, but Laura couldn’t bring herself to care.

“Enough,” Lilita said, and Laura tore herself away, looking across at herself in the mirror. Gone was the ghost she had just seen, in its place her usual toned body and tanned skin.

“What do you say, darling?”

“Thank you, Lilita.”

“Laura…” Carmilla whimpered.

“You two must need to chat, now, so I shall leave you to it. Be careful, dears. And don’t ruin the cabin. Your parents would be so devastated to see their home in shambles, Mircalla.”

With that, Lilita disappeared in a puff of black smoke.

The last sentence punched Laura in the gut.

“Y-your parents?” she asked.

“This was their cabin. Our cabin. When I was a child. I’ve done some remodeling since, but this was their home... why are we talking about this right now, Laura what is going on?”

“Can you disappear like that? Carm, can you _Disapparate?!_ ”

“LAURA! Can you focus?”

“What? I was hungry.”

The incredulous look on Carmilla’s face was enough to make Laura roll her eyes. A voice inside Laura told her something was wrong, that her reactions to this should be stronger or she should care more about what was going on, but all she could focus on was how incredibly attractive the woman in front of her was and how she was suddenly hungry for something else.

A slow grin formed on her face and her eyes lowered.

“I’ve missed you, Carm.”

“Laura, don’t start that.”

“Start what, baby?” Laura swayed her hips as she moved toward Carmilla, and for the first time, it felt like Laura was the predator and Carmilla was the prey.

“Gods Carm, is this how you feel all the time? It’s intoxicating.”

“That’s what I’m worried about.”

Laura slowly pushed Carmilla back onto the couch so she was once again straddling her. Carmilla left her hands at her sides and Laura dragged her lips along the brunette’s neck. Her baby vamp’s muscles tightened under her skin, and a deep laugh came from somewhere far within Laura’s throat.

“It’s okay, baby, it’s been a hard couple days for us,” the blonde whispered. “We can go slow.”

“Laura, please—”

“Shhh, I know what you need,” the blonde said, taking the brunette’s earlobe in between her lips.

“Laura, no. LAURA.” Carmilla pushed Laura off her and the blonde flopped back onto the couch, grunting. Anger flooded through her, she was seeing red. How dare her girlfriend deny her what she really needed? Especially when she’d left her alone when she desperately wanted her there?

“Jesus, Carm, boner killer much?”

“What is the matter with you?”

“What’s the matter with me? The hell’s wrong with you? Your incredibly hot girlfriend is practically drooling on you and you push her away? Baby, come on, I can smell you, I know you—”

“You can _smell me_?”

“Oh, you can’t smell me?”

“No, I could probably smell you five miles out, you’re _quite_ pungent right now,” Carmilla scoffed. “But I’m a vampire.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Cupcake, gods, it’s not that I don’t want to. I-I would love nothing more than to take you on the couch and the stools and the tables and my desk in the back.” The visuals were almost too much for Laura. Her bottom lip found its way between her teeth and she leaned toward Carmilla, who stood up. “But we can’t. Not until… not until we help you.”

“Carm, I feel amazing.”

“Because you’re juiced up on Lilita blood!” Carmilla spat. “Which, by the way, is doing some weird shit to you,” the vampire continued, her tone holding such gravity that it was forcing the blonde to listen. “Laura, when you told me to shift earlier and leave you alone, I-I only did because I _had_ to. I couldn’t help it.”

Carmilla was almost crying. Laura’s gaze met her baby vamp’s and the brunette looked more scared than Laura had ever seen before. The sight was sobering. The fuzziness in her brain began to clear.

_What does that mean?_

“Wait, what?” the blonde said, sitting up more attentively.

“I had to. It was like I had to obey what you were telling me to do. I had to back out of the bathroom. I _had_ to leave you alone.” Laura’s baby vamp shook her head and ran a hand through her own hair. Laura was dumbfounded, she didn’t know what to say. “Laura, please, I wanted more than anything to come to you in the cemetery.”

“Why didn’t you?” the tiny journalist asked, her body still aching for Carmilla to touch her but her brain coming around a little more to see the situation clearly.

“There was something I had to do. And I’m damn glad I did it when I did,” she said, reaching into her pocket and taking out a vial. “It’ll clean you out. Your system, I mean. Of Lilita’s blood. LaF’s concoction.” Laura’s eyes grew wide. “Yeah, I visited the ginger twins. They say hi, by the way.”

“Gods, Carm, I don’t know what’s happening to me…” Laura began. "Oh gods, I called you Mircalla. I'm so... I'm so sorry..." Laura was becoming far too familiar with her tear ducts over the last couple of days as they filled once again while she stared at the liquid in her girlfriend's hands.

And yet she didn’t want whatever LaF had made for her. She felt strong, she felt like she could be useful that way, if they could figure out how to get rid of the whole ‘obey Lilita’ part of it. She might be a badass boxer and hunter, but she’d always be awkward. And she didn’t want to go back to being ‘Awkward As Season 1 Willow’ Hollis.

“Creampuff, we’re going to figure this out,” the vampire said softly. “I promise. I will do whatever it takes. I never wanted to leave you, and I never will again,” the brunette said, her tone almost viciously protective.

All Laura heard was that Carmilla had said she didn’t want to leave her. 

“Y-you wanted to be with me?”

“Gods, creampuff, it took everything in me to turn around and run away from you at the cemetery and not curl up by your side. I knew, I knew it might cost me you, but I had to—”

“Carm, no, it didn’t cost you me. I-I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m hot and I’m cold and I feel like I need Lilita around now, but I want you. I always want you. I was tired and scared and wanted you here and you weren’t and I was so _angry,_ baby, I feel so angry.” The pooling tears began to spill over.

“Shhh, cupcake, I know, it’s the blood,” Carmilla whispered, and then her arms were around the blonde, hugging her tightly.

“I don’t know what to do when she’s around…” Laura cried. “I’m so weak, Carm, I don’t want to go back to being weak.”

“Creampuff, you are not weak. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met,” Carmilla said quietly, pulling away just long enough to offer Laura a small kiss on the temple before embracing her even more tightly than before.

“What if… what if I didn’t stop drinking?” Laura said slowly, knowing it wasn’t going to be met well. Carmilla’s body tightened against her own.

“What?”

“What if you taught me how to use whatever power I’m getting from Lilita?”

“Laura… we don’t know what this blood is doing to you, it might be making you less human, I’m not willing to risk that.”

“W-what if I drank from you? Just enough to keep my strength up?” Carmilla shook her head at Laura’s idea. “Think about what it could do for us! And maybe it would break the hold Lilita has.”

“Uh, LaF’s potion will already do that,” Carmilla said, holding up the vial.

“And make me boring old just human Laura again!”

“I like ‘just human’ Laura! Did you see what you were like when you had to feed? You were a shell of yourself.” Red tears brimmed in the vampire’s eyes. Laura suddenly felt pangs of guilt radiating throughout her whole body. “Your humanity is precious, creampuff, it’s one of the things I love most about you!”

The word hung heavily between the two women, and Laura saw Carmilla’s eyes grow wide.

“Whoa, sorry, I mean, I didn’t mean, it’s way too soon for, I’m sorry, I—” Carmilla was stumbling over herself and it was the cutest thing Laura had ever seen. No wonder the vampire loved making her word vomit sometimes, it was adorable.

“Love, huh?” Laura said, slowly bringing her forehead to Carmilla’s.

“I, I mean, well, I—” The vampire bit her lower lip and looked down. Laura could tell Carmilla was desperately trying to avoid smiling and blushing furiously, but the brunette’s hands were also shaking.

“I love you too, Carmilla Karnstein.” Laura pulled away enough to look in her baby vamp’s eyes, and she was fairly certain she had never seen anything more beautiful in the world.

The journalist slowly took the vial from Carmilla’s hands and popped the stopper out. She lifted the liquid to her lips and drank. When she was finished, Carmilla was looking at her with a new kind of reverence.

“You asked me to, Carm. That’s enough for me.” Laura shrugged and placed the empty vial on the coffee table. “Now. Care to, um, show me how much you love me?” Laura asked, offering the brunette a small kiss on the lips.

Carmilla picked her up and had her into the loft in _record_ time.

* * *

The crickets outside were _insanely_ loud as Laura stirred hours later, waking. Carmilla was asleep beside her, out cold from their marathon of proving how much they loved each other. A small grin made its way to the blonde’s lips, and she was sure that her face betrayed a flush in her cheeks. And damn was she hungry.

Pulling the comforter off her body, she slowly crept toward the stairs, finding she could see deceptively well in the dark.

_Well it **is** a full moon. Must be extra bright tonight…_

As she walked down toward the lower level, she mused on how she felt. It was no differently than she had before, really, but she certainly didn’t have need to go wretch over the toilet for hours. Maybe LaF’s creation was starting to work. Crossing to the kitchen, she glanced over at the mirror across the room and could see herself, looking healthy as ever. She was in no way _radiant_ , but she also wasn’t a translucent ghost of her own self.

_Maybe this really will be okay…_

She stepped over to the refrigerator, opening it lazily and starting at its contents. Reaching toward a bottle of water, her fingers wrapped around it and she unscrewed the cap.She downed the contents like it was Gatorade after a long night of drinking as she tried to figure out what to eat.

“Um, cupcake?” Carmilla’s voice came from behind her and she turned.

“Hmm?” she asked.

“What are you doing?” Carmilla’s eyes were stuck on the bottle in her hand, and her baby vamp’s words were catching in her throat. Laura looked down and turned the label toward herself… it wasn’t water. _Viru_ was scribbled across it in that black fancy script.

_Uh oh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoying? Some shit's going down, yeah...? Haha.
> 
> As always, thanks for all your amazing support, you beautiful gems!


	18. Me and My Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroines discover more about what's happening to Laura, and find themselves in the belly of the beast, Viru, for Lilita's annual fundraiser.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back to a little bit more of a linear storytelling. Thanks for sticking with me the last two chapters, I know they were a little funky. 
> 
> As always, your comments and kudos mean so much. As does a general lurking read, if you're not someone that enjoys commenting. :)

Somehow Laura drinking blood, human blood, was the thing that really kickstarted Carmilla into a higher gear. They were on the back of her motorcycle in minutes, flying through the streets to get back to LaF’s lab as quickly as possible. Laura wretched every now and then from her spot behind Carmilla. She had, after all, drank human blood out of a bottle.

A familiar ache began seeping its way into Laura’s bones.

_Oh no._

“Carm, Carm, pull over!” Laura shouted as loudly as she could while she squeezed twice on her baby vampire’s stomach, part of their code for, ‘I’m gonna hurl, pull over now or it’s gonna get on you.’

Seconds later they were stopped on the side of the road and red, viscous liquid was flowing from Laura’s mouth onto the ground. Carmilla was right next to her, a soothing hand on her back. Laura was growing weaker by the second. Was it because of what LaF had concocted for her? Was it the lack of Lilita’s blood? Was it the blood from the _Viru_ bottle?

“Fuck,” Carmilla growled.

“W-what?” Laura said in between heaving.

“You’re getting pale again, creampuff, I think LaF’s stuff helped but only temporarily.”

“Carm, if I…”

“It’s okay, Laura, do whatever you have to. Say whatever you have to. You biting my head off doesn’t scare me. We’re getting you better. You’re stuck with me.”

Laura smiled before coughing again and puking spectacularly all over the ground. Rage was beginning to boil in her once again. Her hands began to shake, and soon her whole body was vibrating, craving something she knew she couldn’t have.

“Caaarrrrrmmmmmm…” she whined.

“Gods this is happening fast,” Carmilla mused, holding onto Laura like the blonde may fall over if she let go. Laura wasn’t all together sure she wouldn’t, to be completely honest. “Okay, can you hold onto me on the back of the bike, Laura? Can you do that for me?”

“Mmmmph,” Laura whined.

“LaF, I need more of that miracle cure. It’s… it’s only staving off whatever’s happening for a matter of hours. We’re on our way. I know, I’m trying. Thanks, ginger genius,” Carmilla was saying quickly into her phone. It felt like the brunette was so far away. She sounded echoey.

The blonde heaved again and more blood flowed from her mouth as she fell to her knees in the seconds her vampire was more distracted by the call and wasn’t holding her up.

“ _Shit_ , shit, shit, shit,” Carmilla chanted as she scrambled to help Laura to her feet.

“I can’t, mmph, feel my legs,” Laura slurred as she tried to stand.

“Can’t even take care of your things for fifteen minutes, Mircalla, can you?” Lilita’s voice drawled from next to Laura.

“Not now, you miserable—” Carmilla said, her tone harsh and grating.

“Now, now, we both know that temper has gotten you into more than your fair share of trouble, dear.”

Laura was still coughing up blood as the two women bickered. Her head was fuzzy and the world felt like it was coming in and out of focus. Everything was loud and muffled all at once, and she could _smell the hell_ out of Carmilla and Lilita. They were different, Carmilla smelled like the woods after summer rain, welcoming and damp and old, and Lilita smelled like lilacs in spring. The saliva pooling in the journalist’s mouth was starting to seep over the edges of her lips.

“Feed your pet, Mircalla,” Lilita said, her tone low and threatening.

“I will do no such thing.”

“Take care of your lover, darling, _before I do,_ ” Lilita commanded, and Laura knew it was over. She was using her persuasion on Carmilla, and the blonde knew the brunette had no choice but to obey. She heard a whimper come from her baby vampire’s lips, and then a bloody wrist was shoving its way into her mouth.

Carmilla tasted nothing like Lilita, she tasted so. Much. _Better._ Laura’s eyes snapped open when her lips wrapped around the wound and she drank like her baby vamp was offering her the very liquid of life.

Her body felt hot and cold all at once, invigorated anew and just exactly what she needed in this moment. Like she had been in the desert for forty days and had just been led to water to drink.

Gods it was glorious. It was also torture, not to have _more, more, more,_ as she greedily pulled the life from the vampire in front of her.

“That’s it…” Lilita said, and Laura could _hear_ the smirk in the CEO’s tone. “Oh, yes, Mircalla, can you feel it? She’s becoming yours _, ours_ , oh there’s so much we can do with her… yes, my darling, drink, have your fill,” Laura heard the woman cooing in her ear. At some point the taller blonde had found her way up next to Laura and Carmilla, but the tiny journalist didn’t care. She couldn’t care about anything but feeding.

“Go on, Mircalla, _do it,_ ” Lilita commanded, and Carmilla whimpered under the weight of being drained by Laura and the CEO’s crushing tone.

Her fangs descended, and she bit into the tiny journalist’s neck.

Laura grunted when the sharp canines pierced her skin. She continued to drink from her vampire, though the blood coming from Carmilla’s wrist was harder to pull now.

Then there was a shift. Carmilla’s hand found its way to the back of the blonde’s neck and _pulled_ the journalist closer. Laura complied, not letting go of her baby vamp’s arm. Blood was flowing in and out of her and she could _feel_ each pulse of her heart pounding old and new blood through her veins. It was dizzying, thrilling, _powerful._

“You shall be my most exalted Shadow,” Laura heard CEO say, and something about that word snapped Laura away from her girlfriend’s wrist.

She looked deeply into Lilita’s eyes as Carmilla continued to drink.

“Look at you. Divine…” Lilita mewled as she pulled out a small compact mirror and showed Laura her reflection.

Laura stared, slackjawed, at Carmilla drinking from her. But more than that, she looked at _herself._ Strong, vibrant, her eyes a fierce purple.

“Meet me at _Viru_ tomorrow afternoon, darling. 3pm. Oh, I could not be more thrilled with you, dear,” Lilita said, and then bowed to bestow a small kiss on the tiny journalist’s forehead.

Carmilla was still drinking deep, but it seemed to make Laura feel _stronger,_ not weaker.

“Good-bye for now, my sweet,” Lilita said, then disappeared.

The hold the CEO had on Carmilla seemed to dissipate and she immediately pulled herself from Laura.

“Oh, oh gods, no, Laura, I—” the vampire began to stammer. Laura felt the holes in her neck heal instantly, and stared at Carmilla as her baby vampire’s jaw fell open. “Laura…” she started. “Y-your eyes…”

The tiny journalist looked down at her hands, running her eyes along her own body. She flexed her muscles. She had never felt like this. Indestructible, ferocious, and utterly sated.

“I think I like it up here,” Laura mused.

“Oh gods, what have I done…?” Carmilla whispered to herself.

* * *

The next thing Laura knew, she woke up in LaF’s lab in the cell that had once housed Carmilla.

Her baby vampire sat in the corner, watching her anxiously. She stood when her eyes met Laura’s.

“Gods, cupcake, you gave me a hell of a scare,” the brunette said, standing and rushing over to take Laura in her arms.

“Wh-what happened?”

“Welcome back, unknown demon Frosh,” LaF said, looking up from their place behind a microscope across the lab.

“After… well… the encounter with Lilita, you just passed out on the side of the road. I couldn’t get you to wake up. I brought you back here as fast as I could,” Carmilla said.

“And locked me up?”

“Well we’ve both been a bit… odd these last few days,” the vampire said defensively.

It was just then that Mattie came striding into the laboratory.

“Oh good, the little thing’s awake,” she drawled, tossing her purse onto one of the tables and removing her coat.

Laura was studying the electrified door to the cell curiously, as her baby vamp was studying her the same way. The blonde stalked toward the glass slowly, holding a hand out in front of her.

“Creampuff, no, that’ll…” Carmilla stopped speaking when Laura’s hand comfortably touched the glass with no repercussions.

“Open,” she spoke calmly, and the door opened. “WHOA CARM DID YOU SEE THAT?!” the blonde yelped, a grin lighting up her face. She noticed that her vampire couldn’t help but smile at her joy, even if just for a fraction of a second.

“Very impressive, darling, you opened a door,” Mattie deadpanned. “Now might we take a moment to discuss what’s going on?”

“ _Please,_ ” Carmilla said. “Did you find something, Mattie?”

“I did, dear. She’s a Shadow.”

It was the second time Laura had heard the term, and she had no idea what it meant. She did know that Carmilla took a sharp intake of breath at the word.

“ _What?_ ” Carmilla asked.

“A Shadow, Carm, a—”

“I know what a Shadow is, Matska, don’t patronize me,” the brunette spat quickly. “I thought they were extinct.”

“Yes. Well. They _were…_ ” Mattie said, and LaF had now turned around away from their study of… whatever was under that microscope to listen.

“I’m a _Shadow?_ What is that? Like a, like a Ringwraith?” Laura asked, horrified.

“A Shadow is a… superhuman human, cupcake. Your heart beats but you age far less quickly, you have certain capabilities, and you’re… bound to someone, or something, or more than one someone or something,” Carmilla said, her voice so quiet by the end that Laura could barely hear her.

“Bound, bound how?”

“Til death to us part, creampuff, except far less romantic. What a Sire feels, their Shadow feels, what a Shadow asks, their Sire must do, and vice versa. If a Sire dies, a Shadow dies. And vice versa.”

“So we can’t kill Lilita?”

“Cupcake, we can’t kill _any of us._ You’re bound to Lilita, but since we, uh, _partook_ of each other during your transition, you’re also bound to me. And Maman and I, in turn, are bound to you. Together we make the most fucked up kind of family.”

“Three’s Company and all that shit,” LaF laughed a little, their attempt to lighten the mood not taken well by Mattie or Carmilla. Laura, however, couldn’t help but hold back her giggle at the comment.

_What? LaF’s funny, and I’m only human. …Kind of._

“Something funny, cupcake?” Carmilla asked, her tone hard but her eyebrows arching with just a hint of amusement.

“How long was I passed out?” Laura asked, a sinking feeling in her stomach. She was supposed to meet Lilita, after all.

“A few hours, love, not long,” Carmilla mused, and Mattie and LaF looked taken aback at Carmilla’s use of the endearment. It made the tips of Laura’s ears blush. “But it felt like a lifetime.”

“You’re such an overdramatic gay,” Laura smiled as she stepped forward and offered her baby vamp a kiss on the lips. “Mmm, I’ve missed you.”

"Cupcake, it was a few hours. And you were unconscious."

"I always miss you."

"Oh,  _I'm_ overdramatic?"

The couple kissed again.

A gagging sound came from LaF’s general direction.

“Oh, sorry, were you in the middle of something?” they asked when Laura and Carmilla’s gaze met theirs. “Because I’m pretty sure we have more compromising issues on our plates right now. Make out on your own time.” Carmilla’s eyes squinted murderously but she sighed. The vampire turned and met Laura’s stare.

“They’re right. But really, overdramatic, cupcake? You’ve just been transitioned into an extinct creature, I think I’m allowed to be sufficiently freaked out.”

“You’re freaked out? I’m the one that drank from Mommy Dearest and practically begged at her feet for her to stroke my hair and sat next to the toilet throwing up blood and yelled at you and drove you away and Carm—”

Carmilla stopped Laura’s ranting with her lips, and the blonde happily sank into them, a calm coming over her as she did.

“Well at least your PDA is good for something,” LaF said, changing their tune and turning back to their microscope. “It _is_ interesting, Laur, your body is healing itself consistently. Your blood is carrying cells ready to repair damage at the drop of a hat. I’ve never seen anything like it…” they trailed off using words no one understood but them, sounding almost _too_ excited about what was happening to Laura.

“LAURA!” Perry’s voice cut through the science mumbo-jumbo LaF was speaking and the redhead ran to the blonde, throwing her arms around her neck. “Oh, honey, we’ve been so worried, LaFontaine hasn’t slept in days…”

“Way to ruin my hard exterior, Perr,” LaF said, not taking their eyes from their work.

“Honey you have no hard exterior.”

“…Fair enough.”

“Oh, Kirsch and Danny are going to be so happy to see you, Laura. Danny has been _beside_ herself. I don’t think she’s eaten in two days.”

Laura knew Perry was trying to make her feel good that her friends cared so much, but really it was just making her feel awful that while she was off dealing with some crazy stuff, her friends were going equally as crazy and not taking care of themselves.

The low pull in her stomach struck again. The need to meet with Lilita.

 _Is this how it’s going to always be? This is weird…_ Laura mused. Carmilla caught Laura’s far away gaze and grabbed her hand softly.

“Laura?”

“I-I have to meet Lilita at _Viru_ ,” Laura said, her eyes falling to the ground. A soft, low growl formed in Carmilla’s chest.

“I’m coming with you.”

* * *

Laura’s body became increasingly more tense as she and her baby vamp (“Creampuff, I think you can stop calling me that.” “Nope.”) walked toward _Viru._ As they got closer, Laura could see there were several limos and town cars parked out front, and there was a lavishly decorated marquis hanging proudly from the front doorway.

“Oh holy Hume, you’re kidding me…” Carmilla huffed under her breath.

“Carm…?”

“It’s Mother’s annual fundraiser. Ugh of course it is, how could I forget?”

“My darlings!” Lilita’s voice echoed toward them from across the street. She stood outside the entrance to _Viru_ in a stunning mint  _plunging_ dress. Carmilla’s hand squeezed Laura’s more tightly.

“Buckle up, creampuff,” the vampire said under her breath.

“Not the first time I’ve heard that.”

Twenty minutes later, after Lilita had sneaked them through the back of _Viru_ and taken them to a room upstairs ( _uh, they have rooms here_ _? Like hotel rooms?),_ she dressed her two pets exactly as she wanted them.

“How are you feeling, my dears?” Laura heard Lilita ask from the other room.

“Sick,” Laura heard Carmilla reply. “Sorry, Lilita, I thought you taught me not to lie.”

“Laura, darling, how are you feeling?”

Laura stepped out from the bedroom a little uncomfortably, shy even.

_I guess no matter if I’m superhuman or not, I’ll always be Laura ‘Awkward AF’ Hollis._

Despite her discomfort, the blonde saw Carmilla’s non-breath catch in her chest. Lilita may basically be the worst, but she knew how to dress both her girls.

Laura hated that she thought of it that way. _Her girls._ It was comforting and revolting all at once.

The toned blonde was in a black lacy crop top, crisp, form hugging pants, and a pair of sharp black heels that made her several inches taller. Carmilla, on the other hand, was in a striking purple halter dress whose back dove straight down to the brunette’s tailbone. Her heels were slightly shorter than Laura’s, which meant Laura stood taller than her vampire.

_That’s new._

It could have been five seconds, five minutes, or five hours that the two women stood there staring at each other.

“Dinner begins in twenty minutes in Morgan Hall,” Lilita said, eyeing the Shadow and the vampire in front of her. “I want you two on your best behavior. We are, after all, auctioning you off tonight, darling,” she said, thickly whispering in Laura’s ear.

“Wh-what?”

“Yes, after the both of you gave that _marvelous_ performance at the Black Box… goodness I never realized how much press and money could be made there. You held out on me, Mircalla,” the CEO said, her tone sharp as she turned toward her daughter. Then she turned back to face the journalist. “We’re auctioning off a fight with you. Highest bidder chooses your opponent, and gets the first dance of the night tonight with you. Do you like that, dear?”

A small voice in the back of her mind told Laura no, but the connection between her and Lilita was too strong. Lilita _desired_ for Laura to like it, and so something in Laura _did._

 _Well this is a little more disturbing than originally anticipated,_ the small voice said. But that seemed too logical, and way too far away. It was easier to just accept it, just say yes, to see the look of joy on Lilita’s face when she said it. Yeah, that would be better. _Just do that, Hollis._

“Yes, Lilita,” Laura said, blushing when the woman’s face lit up.

“You _are_ such a good girl, Laura. Downstairs by 4, darlings,” Lilita said before gracefully flowing from the room.

Laura turned to face her baby vampire, but she was turned away, a phone to her ear.

“Mel, it’s Karnstein. You agreed to set Laura Hollis up with another fight through Lilita, yeah? Uh huh. Okay. And how exactly would you feel if her opponent was… not someone that usually frequents the ring?”

_What is she talking about?_

“Let me be perfectly plain, Callis. I’m asking if you’d let Laura fight _Lilita._ Yes, Callis, Morgan, how many Lilita's do you know?”

Laura’s stomach clenched. _What the hell is she up to?_

Moments later, after a string of ‘uh huhs’ and ‘yeses’ Carmilla hung up the phone, turning to Laura.

“Have I told you how good you look tonight?” the vampire husked, moving toward Laura.

“Oh no, Ms. Jumps-Onto-A-Secret-Call-Without-Telling-Me-The-Plan, don’t try and change the subject.”

“That’s quite the nickname you’ve got for me, sundance.”

“What do you mean, me fighting Lilita?”

“I plan to win the auction tonight, not only to choose your opponent, but because I want _no one’s_ hands on you tonight but mine.” The look in her eyes was downright blazing. “And because _you’re_ not going to fight Lilita. I am.”

“Carmilla Karnstein you will not fight my battles.”

“You can’t fight her as her Shadow.”

“You _will not fight my battles,”_ Laura said, and she felt her voice come out as deep and booming. A pressure built behind her eyes, and a look of fear briefly crossed Carmilla’s face before the brunette spoke.

“Yes, Laura.” It sounded robotic, the way it had when Lilita had forced the vampire to drink from the coffin.

“Oh, no, no, Carm, no, I-shit…” Laura said, turning away from the vampire and running to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, her eyes were purple. She shook her head, but nothing happened. She gripped the sides of the porcelain sink, willing herself to stop whatever she was doing. Emotions flooded her: her own anger and regret for having commanded Carmilla, a strange sense of voidness and peace that didn’t feel like it belonged to her, and a thrilling excitement, almost maniacal, that wasn’t hers either. Whatever that meant.

_What the hell is this?_

She took a few deep breaths and looked back up at her reflection. Her eyes were back to their hazelnut brown. She sighed and walked back out to Carmilla, who was picking at her fingernails.

“I’m sorry, Carm.”

“You can’t control it yet, cupcake, it’s okay,” her baby vamp said, and even if they didn’t share the Shadow connection, Laura could still have felt the vampire wasn’t being completely truthful.

“I would prefer if you let me fight my own battles,” Laura said as calmly as she could manage so as to not go all purple-eyed and commandy again.

“I would prefer if you let me fight my battles as well, creampuff. And the battle with Lilita is mine.”

“Carm, the second you asked me to be a part of this, it became my battle, too. The second I chose you as mine, your battles became my battles. We’re in this together,” Laura said quietly, reaching for her vampire’s hand.

“I don’t want you to fight her. You can’t while your her Shadow,” Carmilla whispered, looking into the journalist’s eyes.

“And what about you? She commands you like you’re a puppy,” Laura said, and when Carmilla’s eyes fell to the ground, Laura not only felt guilty for saying it, but also a pang of regret… regret that wasn’t hers. It was foreign, like it belonged to her but didn’t. It felt like it was coming straight out of Carmilla and nestling inside the blonde.

“You feel it, don’t you?” Carmilla asked, looking up at Laura. “How we’re connected now? I feel it, too.”

“This is really confusing, Carm, it’s too much. I don’t have enough space to feel my emotions and _your_ emotions _and_ Lilita’s emotions…” Laura trailed off, her fingers squeezing her sinuses as if that would relieve the pressure inside her. It was building toward rage again, but unlike the last few times, the rage also felt like it wasn’t hers. She was starting to be able to discern which of her women the emotions belonged to.

_I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing._

“Hey, hey, you’re doing fine. Remember yesterday? You couldn’t control anything. Yet here you are today, standing with me, having a conversation.”

“I just commanded you.”

“And then you got it under control,” Carmilla said, a small smile on her face. The brunette brought her fingers to Laura’s cheek and stroked it. “I’m proud of you, sweetheart.” The vampire offered Laura a chaste kiss on the lips, and the journalist’s chest swelled. They stayed together for a few minutes, enjoying the moment, the solace they could bring each other. But like all things, it came to an end.

“Carm, why did she make me your Shadow, too? That seems counterproductive,” Laura whispered once they’d pulled apart.

Carmilla let go of the blonde’s hand and sighed.

“I don’t know the answer to that, Laura. And that scares me.”

“What if I lose control at dinner?” the blonde asked even more quietly.

“I’ll swoop in and carry you away,” her baby vamp said, winking, and Laura felt like a blanket was being draped over her. Like Carmilla was pushing comforting feelings into Laura's chest and helping slow her rising heart rate.

“Shall we, then?” Laura asked, holding her arm out for Carmilla to take.

“We shall,” the vampire answered, looping her arm through Laura’s.

The two stepped out into the hallway. Crimson and purple and black decor met the blonde’s eyes — entirely anachronistic in nature but all the eras seemed to flow together somehow. The modern light fixtures with the Victorian chaises and benches, the Gothic architecture… Lilita must have wanted something from every era in history in some kind of giant mash up.

A thin young man wearing what appeared to be a hospital gown passed them. His skin was becoming translucent, the way Laura’s had when she hadn’t fed at the cabin. His eyes were far away, like he didn’t quite know where he was going.

Laura and Carmilla looked at each other.

“Hey, are you okay?” Laura asked, and the man made no effort to look at them, as if he hadn’t really seen them at all.

“Hungry…” was all he said as he kept walking. Laura and Carmilla turned and walked alongside him, taking a few strides silently.

“Where are you going?” Laura asked after a moment, trying to keep her tone light so as to be as unthreatening as possible.

“Room,” he said, pointing a few doors down.

Carmilla stepped toward the door and opened it. She froze in place and once Laura and the man had caught up to her, Laura saw why. Inside five people sat in chairs. Upon first glance, it looked like they were each giving blood. All their heads were down.

The man passed Laura and Carmilla and sat in the sixth empty chair. He picked up the needle connected to a hanging blood bag and looked at it. Then his gaze moved toward the pack of blood. He did this a few times before reaching up and grabbing the bag hungrily, ripping into it with his teeth and sucking deep.

One of the women sitting opposite him looked up slowly, her eyes meeting Laura and Carmilla’s. They were purple.

They weren’t giving blood. They were _receiving it._

The man drinking the blood bag looked up at them. His eyes were purple, too. Carmilla pushed Laura out of the room and closed the door behind them.

“Carm, oh my—”

“Yeah, cupcake, she’s making Shadows.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if the whole 'emotions' deal doesn't make sense. It's a little hard to explain, but I'm working on how to phrase what Laura's feeling in that regard. I think it becomes a bit clearer in the next chapter, as it becomes a little more pronounced.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	19. The Auction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura struggles with Lilita and Carmilla at the fundraiser, and the auction goes down.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Laura and anxiety attacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No matter how much I say it, I can't say it enough: thank you for reading, sending kudos, and commenting. This little fic that embedded itself in my brain has become much bigger than I expected and I'm having so much fun writing it. I'm so glad you're liking it and that you keep coming back chapter after chapter.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

The walk down to Morgan Hall seemed to take forever. Laura felt like she was existing inside the definition of tunnel vision: muted sounds, with her mind locked on only one thing: Lilita was turning people into Shadows. Unwilling people.

Sure, she was one of them, but she hadn’t signed up to get some money in exchange for giving some blood. How many more rooms were there? Was she doing it to everyone that was donating? The journalist’s mind was a flurry of ideas, and she had no idea where to begin.

Music began to fill her ears as they traveled down the hallway toward the doors to the Hall. Carmilla’s hand gripped tightly onto Laura’s.

“Ready, cupcake?” Laura heard her whisper as two men on either side of the double doors opened them for the two women. Laura gulped and nodded.

Carmilla leaned in closer to Laura’s ear.

“I’ve got you,” she said, and Laura suddenly felt like a blanket was covering her. She didn’t know if Carmilla was somehow pushing her protection onto Laura or what, but the tiny blonde (not so tiny in her heels) experienced the sensation of being completely enveloped. Her shoulders noticeably dropped.

“I need a drink,” the blonde said as they entered the hall, and Carmilla promptly found the bar and escorted Laura over. Danny and Kirsch were moving behind it, making drinks as Laura and Carmilla waited in line.

“Laura!” Danny said excitedly as the journalist and her vampire stepped up.

“Danny, hey,” Laura smiled, already overwhelmed with feeling Carmilla and Lilita’s emotions since they were all in the same room. Lilita was excitedly talking with someone about something, Laura could sense it. Her emotions were ebbing and flowing, from excitement to curiosity to insatiable greed. Carmilla on the other hand was desperately trying to remain cool and collected, pushing the same blanket of comfort onto Laura as she had when they entered. However, Laura could tell it was exhausting for her vampire to do so. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Hey little hottie!” Kirsch said, coming over and giving Laura a wink. “How are you? You look _good,_ Hollis, damn!”

“We’re here as backup. In case anything happens,” Danny said, trying to keep her voice down so no other patrons would hear her. “What can I get you?”

“Whiskey, neat,” Carmilla said. “Laura?”

Laura squirmed uncomfortably. She was, truthfully, a bit hungry. She eyed _Viru’s_ special wine which was infused with O Negative, but she couldn’t order it without Danny and Kirsch knowing something was up.

“Oh, I’m not breaking the supernatural news to them, noooo way,” LaF had said when Laura asked if they knew. And this was not the time and place to tell them she was technically still alive and human but in some kind of in between space where she had to feed on blood to keep her strength up.

“Whiskey for Laura,” Carmilla corrected quickly. “And I’ll take a glass of the Special.” Carmilla ran her thumb across Laura’s finger and the blonde gave her girlfriend a thankful smile.

The drinks were in front of them momentarily and Danny narrowed her eyes a bit and leaned over to whisper.

“There’s something off about this. JP was trying to tell us what was going on in here but he couldn’t remember much. I think they played with his memory. Watch yourselves,” she said. “Enjoy!” She raised her voice so as to seem more casual, like she wasn’t just conspiring against the very establishment where they all currently stood.

Laura and Carmilla took their drinks and the blonde gave Danny a quick nod of understanding. Danny returned it.

As soon as they were far enough away from the bar, Carmilla took the whiskey out of Laura’s grip and replaced it with the wine.

“This is so gross, I hate that I have to do this,” the journalist said, but as the wine touched her lips, she found it wasn’t gross at all. The _idea_ of it was enough to make her squirm, being human (and whatever else she now was) and having to feed on blood, but the taste was _decadent._

 _…That’s even_ **_more_ ** _disturbing._

“Mircalla!” Lilita’s voice wafted toward them and Laura could sense the woman’s excitement skyrocket. It was overwhelming how manic the CEO felt. Laura closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she sipped again and let Carmilla lead them over to Lilita and a group of three middle-aged white men in expensive suits.

“Jamison, George, Teddy, this is Mircalla, my daughter. And her radiant girlfriend, Ms. Hollis.” Lilita was beaming, and suddenly something was shoving aside the blanket Carmilla was trying to cast over the blonde. It was as if the two women were warring to gain control of Laura. Their eyes bore into each other but nothing else gave way to what was happening between the three of them.

One of the men, the one with a slight pudge and a purple handkerchief in his pocket, smiled at Laura.

“Miss Hollis, we’ve heard so much about you. A journalist _and_ a boxer? Quite the extracurricular activity, if you don’t mind my saying.”

“I don’t. I have to keep myself fit somehow. And it takes my mind off the things I write. They aren’t always… pleasant,” Laura said, her eyes scanning between Carmilla and Lilita, who still hadn’t broken their staring contest.

“I hear you’re the biggest auction item of the night,” another of the men said, he was taller than the first and slightly more handsome, wearing a pair of stylish glasses and had a closely trimmed beard, but he still reeked of smarm. “Perhaps I’ll see you later for that first dance.”

Laura smiled but Carmilla tensed next to her.

“Oh, not if I have anything to say about it.” Her baby vamp smiled, offering up a healthy dose of charm while also keeping a fair amount of threat in her tone.

“Oh, the kitten has claws!” the man chortled, his friends joining in.

“You have no idea,” Carmilla drawled, smirking.

“Now, now, Mircalla,” Lilita said, but she wore a small grin as she said it.

“Oh, come Mother, we were just playing,” Carmilla said, not taking her eyes off the man that had propositioned Laura. “I look forward to sparring with you at the auction,” she said, and a chill ran down Laura’s spine. Her baby vamp was putting out some _serious_ daggers both in her tone with the man in front of them and her attempt to keep Lilita from completely overtaking Laura. It was overwhelming to have her girlfriend be talking with this businessman and be having some sort of unspoken, unseen supernatural war going on with the CEO.

“I have to go to the ladies’. Please excuse me,” Laura said, turning and hurrying off. Her blood was catching fire.

“Laura, Laura wait,” Carmilla called after her, following the journalist into the rest room.

“It’s-it’s too much Carm, I feel like I’m—” Laura’s chest began to tighten. “Ohhhh no, no, no, no.” She began to lose control of her breathing as her body seized and started shaking. Carmilla’s arms wrapped around her instantly, pulling her tight.

“Shhh, cupcake, it’s okay. I’ve got you…” she said, stroking Laura’s hair as the blonde tried to gulp down air.

“She’s too-it’s too much. I ca-ca-can’t—”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” the brunette cooed as Laura lost herself in her baby vamp’s arms. People came and went from the restroom, staring at the two women in the middle of the powder area, one of them having a complete breakdown.

“What?!” Carmilla spat whenever someone glanced over at them. “Mind your own business.”

“Leave it to me to become some superhuman being and still have a penchant for anxiety attacks…” Laura whispered quietly once she got her bearings back minutes later, bringing a smile to her vampire’s lips.

“She’s strong, Laura, I’m trying, but I—”

“It’s okay, Carm. None of us knows what we’re doing. We’re _all_ trying,” Laura said, keenly aware of the watching eyes and ears in the restroom. “Come on,” she said as she started toward the door with Carmilla in hand.

“Laura?!” The door opened and in bounded Danny. “Are you okay? I saw you rush in here, I thought—”

“I’m okay, Danny, thank you. This is just… it’s overwhelming. It’s a lot. Anxiety attack, you know?”

“I remember. You’re okay?”

“I am.” Laura reached out and offered Danny’s hand a squeeze.

“Okay.”

The tall redhead held the door open so the other two women could step out ahead of her.

“I better get back, then.”

“We’ll see you, Danny.”

* * *

The meal itself went fairly smoothly. They were seated at a table with Lilita. It was wrought with tension between Carmilla and the CEO, both still battling for Laura’s emotional space, as the auction went on and on around them. Eventually the woman stood and took Laura’s hand in her own.

“It’s time, dear,” she said as she gestured toward the stage. Laura and Carmilla exchanged a glance and the brunette nodded. The blonde followed Lilita up into the spotlight, stepping up next to a gorgeous, intricately carved podium.

“Thank you, thank you all for coming out tonight to spend an evening with your boss,” the CEO began, a cheery edge to her voice. “I know that can’t be terribly thrilling for many of you, but hopefully the food, drink, and frivolity make up for it,” Lilita laughed, and the whole room was immediately putty in her hands. Her power over humans and demons alike was truly unmatched.

But wait… looking around, Laura realized she could discern the humans from the demons in the Hall. A spidey-sense, as it were. The only humans… good gods the only humans at the dinner were Kirsch and Danny. And herself.

“Now for the auction item you’ve all been waiting for,” Lilita continued, and the audience was hanging on her every word. “Some of you have told me of your frequent outings to the Black Box and up until some days ago, I had never been there myself. But after seeing this tremendous woman fight, I simply _knew_ I _had_ to have her here with us tonight. Miss Hollis is offering the highest bidder the first dance of the evening as well as the opportunity to choose her opponent and day for an upcoming fight in the Black Box. Shall we start the bidding at… seven thousand?”

_SEVEN FRAKKING THOUSAND?!_

“Ten.” Carmilla held her hand up.

“Fifteen,” the man from earlier called out and Carmilla smirked that signature grin.

“Twenty.”

 _How much money does Carmilla_ **_have_ ** _?_

“Thirty,” another voice came from somewhere in the room.

“Thirty-two,” a young man that looked no more than twenty-three (but probably was about a hundred and eight) said from one corner of the room. Lilita’s energy was palpable - pouring over Laura, engulfing her, and Carmilla was too far away to attempt to take the brunt of it. The blonde caught the look on the brunette’s face as she started moving toward the stage, trying desperately to push away Lilita’s hold on the journalist. It was getting progressively more difficult to keep her need to feed in check, and Laura felt her skin grow hot. She bit down on her lip so hard she drew blood.

“Thirty-five,” Carmilla said, still moving toward the stage.

Other people began tossing out numbers:

“Thirty-eight!”

“Forty!”

“Forty-three!”

“Fifty,” a man that had just entered the room called from the back. Carmilla growled and turned around to look at him. Laura couldn’t see her baby vampire’s face, but the man shot his eyebrows up when the brunette’s gaze met his. They knew each other.

“Sixty,” Carmilla said.

Laura was now fully chewing her lip, sucking her own blood from the wound and doing all she could to keep from squirming.

“Sixty-four,” someone said, and the journalist was losing her sense of time and space. She could see Danny and Kirsch staring at each other, mouths agape, but it barely registered.

“Yes, pet, look at them all so hungry for you…” Lilita said quietly. “Are you hungry for them?”

Laura whimpered.

“Sixty-five,” the bearded man Laura and Carmilla had spoken to earlier brought himself back into the game.

“Oh for all that is unholy,” Carmilla grumbled. “One hundred thousand dollars!” she yelled from the edge of the stage, turning to face the room. There was a murmur amongst the crowd. No one countered.

“Great,” Carmilla said, climbing the stairs and taking her place at Laura’s side. A sense of calm began to permeate Lilita’s fog, and Laura’s heartbeat slowed enough for her to take in the anger in the woman’s eyes. It was boiling inside Laura, too, but with Carm’s help she could keep it at bay.

Carmilla took her hand and pulled her from the stage.

“You okay, cupcake?”

“Bathroom.”

Carmilla flew with Laura across the room where she pulled one of the door stewards aside and made him follow them to the restroom. She slipped him a large wad of cash.

“Keep everyone out. This bathroom is out of service for the time being,” she said as she pulled Laura in. Luckily everyone had returned to the Hall for the auction and there was no one inside.

“Are you okay?” Carmilla asked, sitting Laura down on a chair in the powder room.

“I’m hungry. I’m excited. I’m angry. I’m, I’m, I don’t know, Carm. I’m so hungry.”

Carmilla reached into her purse and pulled out a flask.

“Here,” the vampire said, handing it to Laura.

“Not for whiskey, Carmilla.”

“It’s not whiskey, sweetheart.”

Laura unscrewed the cap and drank. It was LaF’s concoction. Laura drank but made a face.

“What? You think I’m going to feed you blood _every time_ you get hungry? You’d descend into being even more of a Shadow,” Carmilla said, kneeling next to the tiny journalist.

“There are levels?”

“Oh yes, cupcake. Yes there are.”

“Where in the world did you get one hundred thousand dollars to blow on me, Carmilla Karnstein?” Laura huffed as the potion kicked in and she fully came back to herself.

“Firstly, I didn’t _blow_ anything. Second, my parents set up a significant trust fund for me, creampuff. They were quite wealthy. For a time I also owned shares in some of Lilita’s companies, before I found out what it was she was doing and sold them.”

Laura took another sip for good measure.

“You okay to go back in there?” Carmilla asked as Laura handed the flask back to her vampire. The blonde nodded. “Good. Because I think that you, Miss Hollis, owe me a dance.”

After they returned to the hall and Carmilla wrote out a check for the auction (and Laura’s knees involuntarily buckled when she saw the brunette actually writing the number down), the first dance of the evening began. All eyes were on Carmilla and Laura as the band onstage started to play a slow, moody song. The vampire wrapped one arm tightly around Laura’s waist, pulling her close, and held the blonde’s other hand up in the air with her own. They danced together like that for a time, until Carmilla pulled the blonde even closer and wrapped her other arm around her torso. The journalist’s arms crossed over one another comfortably behind her baby vampire’s neck and she nuzzled close.

She could hear the murmurs in the audience, their appreciation for the two women dancing. She felt Lilita from across the room. The woman was angry, yes, but something else. She was calculating something. But for the first time that night, Laura couldn’t really feel her. And she didn’t truly care.

Laura’s baby panther was humming along as the music continued and they swayed alone together on the dance floor. All Laura could sense, all she could feel, was the woman wrapped around her. The tiny journalist didn’t even think Carmilla was actively trying to push a protective barrier between her and Lilita, but it seemed that one was there nonetheless.

“I love you, Laura,” Carmilla sighed in a voice meant for Laura’s ears alone.

“I love you, too, Carm,” Laura murmured back.

Just then, a loud slamming of the doors pulled the couple from their reverie. The six people from the room upstairs came striding in. At the head of the charge was the man Laura and Carmilla had… helped wasn’t really the right word… escorted (?) back to the room earlier. But all six of the Shadows in front of them looked healthy, hell, more than healthy, they looked like… what Laura looked like when she freshly fed. And their eyes were blazing purple.

“Ah, yes, right on time my darlings,” Lilita said, and they all snapped to attention alongside her.

Something ignited inside Laura at the sight of the other Shadows. They weren’t like her. They couldn’t take her. The couldn’t have Carmilla.

A low growl formed in Laura’s throat.

“Cupcake…” Carmilla said quietly.

“ _Get behind me_ ,” Laura commanded, eyes purple, and the vampire immediately complied.

“Laura,” Carmilla said a little louder, and Laura could _feel_ her vampire actively trying to resist her command. “Shadows don’t play well with others if they belong to different Sires, _which you do._ We’re outnumbered.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Kirsch and Danny stiffen behind the bar. Her eyes met their’s and she minutely shook her head.

_Not yet._

Their eyes widened as they saw the color in Laura’s, but the blonde shook her head again.

_Not now._

Then something strange happened. Lilita called her Shadows over and Laura watched as they immediately followed the CEO. She spoke with them as the audience in the room watched with bated breath over what would happen next. In a matter of seconds, the Shadows were next to Carmilla and Laura, and the blonde was gripping the vampire’s wrist with such fervor she was afraid she might snap her baby vamp in two.

But then the young man Laura and Carmilla had seen in the hall upstairs earlier reached down to take Laura’s hand. She let him.

“My harbinger,” he whispered as he offered the blonde a kiss on the knuckles. The other five did the same. Then they paired off and began dancing as the second song began. Laura felt an unnatural surge of power course through her.

Lilita looked beyond smug across the room. She gave the journalist a wink from the corner and Laura could _feel_ just how proud the woman was that she had accepted the kisses.

Carmilla turned Laura away from the CEO and pulled her in close, continuing their dance.

“What just happened?” the blonde whispered.

“I think they swore fealty to you,” Carmilla said, a fearful edge in her voice. Laura could feel all the tension inside her vampire, it was radiating out of her in waves.

“Carm, Carm can… can you calm down? I’m-I can’t take it,” the tiny journalist began to stutter out, beginning to feel dizzy.

“Shit, cupcake, I’m sorry,” the vampire murmured as Laura felt the emotion begin to dissipate and the sense of being enveloped returning.

“How do you do that?” Laura asked, pulling just far enough away to look in her baby vamp’s eyes.

“I seem to remember having large swathes of time while locked in boxes to contemplate my emotions. I’m quite talented, if I do say so myself,” the brunette smirked, and Laura pulled her in close again.

“Can’t argue with you there, my little baby vamp.” The blonde knew Carmilla would never admit it, but she could have sworn the brunette _purred_ at her use of the nickname in the moment.

The other six Shadows were dancing with each other, but watching the couple intently. Other couplings had joined them now on the floor and Laura was grateful not to be the center of attention.

“May I, Mircalla?” Lilita said, and Laura and Carmilla pulled apart to see the CEO holding her hand out to the journalist, her eyes yellow. “She is so delectable tonight. I would so love to have one dance with my new pet.”

“Yes, Lilita,” Carmilla said, empty. Laura felt the familiar warmth of wanting to please Lilita and took the taller woman’s hand.

“Lovely,” Lilita said, pulling the smaller blonde close.

Somewhere deep inside, Laura felt Carmilla scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Lilita is just smugly building her army, isn't she? Ugh.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	20. Navigating the Notorious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the dinner/auction, and Laura struggles to go back to her day to day life while being a Shadow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!
> 
> So this chapter is slightly longer than the others. I probably won't be able to update for about a week (I know I usually update every 2 or 3 days but this work week is particularly grueling for me) so hopefully this makes up for it? I usually edit the chapters 4 or 5 times before I post and this one has had about 3 rounds, so bear with me if there are any discrepancies.
> 
> It's a little filler, but I needed to get us back on track with Laura and her life in order to move the plot with Lilita forward.
> 
> Hope you like it. As always, your comments, reads, and kudos mean so much.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

Lilita completely enveloped Laura the second the CEO had her within her grasp. The entire room could have fallen away, and Laura may have never noticed. She could _barely_ even feel her vampire calling out to her from beyond the embrace Lilita had her in.

The other Shadows around them were watching with hungry, prying gazes. At first Laura thought it was jealousy, but after a few seconds of looking at their ravenous eyes, she realized it was devotion, complete and utter _veneration._

Carmilla seemed so far away, but she was there. Laura did her best to dig to the very depths of her soul to keep her vampire with her.

“Darling you needn’t worry. Nor should you fuss about your lover for now. I have no intentions of tearing you two apart.”

“R-Really?” Laura asked quietly.

“Gracious, Laura, no,” Lilita said, with a smile and a look in her eyes that was, well, it was darn close to genuine. “Look at them, your servants all,” she continued, changing the subject and glancing at the Shadows dancing. They had formed a circle around the blonde and Lilita, as if they were coming together unconsciously to protect Laura and the CEO. “They shall feed you when you’re hungry, care for you when you’re ill, lay down their lives if need be…”

Laura’s ears perked up at that. She began to speak, but was cut short.

“You needn’t speak, dear, I can hear you. Yes, there are some Shadows whose lives are connected to their Sires, such as you and myself or you and Mircalla are. Some Shadows are not so _precious_.” The woman pulled Laura in closer so she was whispering in the blonde’s ear.

Carmilla growled from her spot not far away.

“Some are servants to a _cause_ rather than a _Sire_.”

The second song began to come to an end, and a voice Laura never would have expected broke her from the haze she was stuck in with the CEO.

“May I, Miss Morgan?” Danny stood almost as tall as the striking blonde, a protective fire in her eyes. For a moment, Laura was afraid Lilita may spring and attack, but then the woman’s eyes softened and grazed over Danny’s lithe body in appreciation.

“Oh yes, dear, _please,_ ” she said, offering Laura’s hand to the redhead. “And do come and see me later. You remember my proposal, no?” she whispered to Laura’s ex.

“Yes, thank you, I have a brain capable of recalling things that happened within the last three hours,” the redhead scoffed, and Laura both wanted to both laugh and rip Danny’s head off. The blonde knew Carmilla had heard the comment, because she felt her baby vamp’s smugness from several feet away.

She caught the vampire’s gaze, she was smirking and held an eyebrow in the air. Laura bit her lip in response, trying to deal both with the smugness in Carmilla’s chest and the slightness the CEO felt in hers.

“Take a breath, Laur,” Danny whispered in her ear. “Remember the bluebirds.”

That was all it took, and Laura felt herself soften.

Bluebirds were her mother’s favorite, and when she was younger, they seemed to _flock_ to her mom wherever they went. The day they laid her mother’s remains to rest, a single bluebird had flown around where they scattered her and met Laura’s stare. As lame as it sounded, it felt like in that moment they had looked into each other’s souls. That small moment had meant everything to the blonde. It was part of why she wanted to be a journalist: she wanted to try and explain the unexplainable.

Danny had always been good at remembering the little things Laura shared with her.

“So… are you going to tell me what’s going on, or are you gonna make me guess?” the tall redhead said after a few moments.

“If I could describe it, trust me, I would tell you. It has something to do with Shadows or something,” Laura began, unsure of how to tell her friend that she had drank from Lilita. “I’m… I’m still human, I just have certain capabilities or something. It’s super confusing, Danny, I don’t know what to do.”

Danny nodded and Laura knew she wanted to push, but the redhead decided against it, for which Laura was grateful.

“And you? Are you going to tell me of this offer?” Laura asked quietly.

“She wants me to work for her. Not much of an offer,” Danny huffed, then was quiet. Laura, too, decided not to push.

They danced slowly, in silence, for a few minutes. Then the song began to slow.

“Didn’t mean to take you away from your girl, Laur. I just saw you and Lilita and… I was just trying to help,” Danny whispered quietly without meeting the journalist’s gaze. Laura looked up, forcing the the tall redhead’s eyes to meet hers.

“You took me away from nothing, Danny. Thank you,” she said as she squeezed the taller woman’s hand.

“For as long as I can hold you up,” Danny said, shrugging and looking away, like what she had done was nothing.

“We appreciate it, Xena,” Carmilla said, appearing behind the two women, for once using the nickname as an endearment instead of an insult.

“Yeah, well, Laura means a lot to me,” Danny remarked almost flippantly, meeting the vampire’s gaze in some kind of unspoken agreement.

Danny stepped away as Carmilla moved forward, taking the blonde in her arms comfortably, like they were meant to fit together, like Carmilla was the missing piece to Laura’s unfinished puzzle.

“I’m tired, Carm. Will she let us go?” Laura said, exhaustion hitting her all at once.

“I won’t let her stop us, sweetheart,” Carmilla murmured, taking the blonde’s palm in her own and moving toward the exit. “Come on.”

Lilita was nowhere to be found as they left the Hall, but that didn’t mean she was gone. She was close, Laura could feel her. A curious questioning formed in her belly.

“She wants to know why we’re leaving,” Laura said as they walked through _Viru_ ’s main hall toward the front door.

“I’m sure she does,” Carmilla said, rolling her eyes.

“Rolling your eyes is rude, Mircalla,” Lilita said from behind them.

Laura and Carmilla turned to see the CEO along with her six Shadows trailing behind her.

“So is turning my girlfriend into a puppet,” Laura’s baby vampire snarled, fangs bared.

“Down, girl,” Lilita said with a wave of her hand.

“Laura is tired, Mother, I’m taking her home,” Carmilla said as her fangs retracted.

“It has been such a big night for you, hasn’t it, pet?” the CEO cooed, stepping forward and dragging a finger along the blonde’s cheek.

“Yes, Lilita,” Laura said quietly. She felt her own exhaustion, Carmilla’s rage, and Lilita’s lust for control surging through her.

“Of course you are, darling. Go home and sleep. We have much to discuss tomorrow,” Lilita offered the other blonde a warm smile, and a sense of calm fell over the tiny journalist. “Yes. There, there, sleep tight, my beautiful Laura.”

“ _My_ beautiful Laura,” Laura heard Carmilla growl under her breath as the brunette tightened her grip on Laura’s fingers.

“Yes, Mircalla, _your_ beautiful Laura, too. She is ours. And she is… stunning. Isn’t she?” Lilita asked her Shadows, and they all bowed their heads toward Laura in affirmation.

“Feed her, Mircalla, she _is_ looking weak,” the CEO said pointedly before turning around and sweeping back into the Hall, snapping her fingers for the Shadows to follow. They were all to quick to obey.

Laura laid her head on Carmilla’s shoulder, so tired now that it was becoming difficult to keep her eyes open. Her baby vamp was on the phone in seconds.

“Will, I need a car. Yes we’re heading out front now.” With that, the vampire slowly guided Laura through the front doors and out onto the sidewalk, the night air breathing new life into the tiny blonde’s lungs.

* * *

Laura woke the next morning in an enormous king-size bed. She lazily stretched out, dragging her extremeties along the softest sheets she’d ever felt.Purring came from beside her and she rolled over to see a huge panther curled up next to her.

“Ah!” she said, jumping back so far she almost fell from the bed before remembering her baby vamp was also a baby panther. “Oh, right,” she sighed, organizing her thoughts. Carmilla had brought her back to the brunette’s apartment last night and the two had passed out shortly thereafter, utterly spent from the dinner.

Laura stood, grabbing her phone off the nightstand, and quietly walked down the stairs from the warehouse loft into the brunette’s open-plan apartment below.

She knew her vampire would be angry that the first thing she wanted this morning was blood, but she couldn’t help herself. She was feeling weak and so, so hungry. Carmilla wouldn’t let her have a bottle last night, she’d given the blonde more of LaF’s mixture, but she needed something more this morning. She opened the vampire’s fridge and took out one of the _Viru_ bottles. As she cracked the lid, a chill ran up her spine. This blood may have been taken from the Shadows she met last night, or any other person that may be walking around as a Shadow now.

She didn’t like that idea.

But she was so, _so_ very hungry.

She drank the bottle in a few large sips, sucking the liquid down greedily as if it was the only thing that could keep her alive.

 _Well, that may very well be,_ she thought as she rinsed the bottle and tossed it into the recycling. Her hand instinctively reached toward the refrigerator to get another, but she stopped herself. Everything in moderation, after all. 

A buzzing from her phone helped pull her out of the internal fight she was having.

“Hey, Betts,” Laura said, answering the call.

“Laura Hollis, you tell me what in the world happened last night and you tell me _now,_ ” Betty huffed through the phone.

“What?”

“You are _all over_ the papers, your face is splashed across the internet, _Carmilla Karnstein_ paid _a hundred thousand dollars_ for you at The Morgan Auction? The woman who nearly _killed you_ in the ring?” Betty’s voice was concerned, but so filled with curiosity that Laura couldn’t help but smile a bit. She, too, shared the same passion for story.

“Carmilla Karnstein is a lovely woman,” Laura said, remembering that Betty didn’t actually know that Carmilla was, in fact, the axis the blonde’s world turned on.

“I’ll bet. The pictures of you two dancing? Watch out, Hollis, she’s got eyes for you and only you.”

“The feeling is very mutual.”

“Oh,” Betty said. “ _Oh,_ ” she repeated, catching on. “Wait, were you together when you fought in the Black Box? The entire Morgan clan is after you, it seems. Good God Hollis, you’re dating a vampire?”

“Betty, breathe, I’m afraid you might pass out.”

“Are you coming into the office today?”

“I can…” Laura said, looking up toward the loft. Carmilla would no doubt be sleeping for at least a few more hours anyway.

“Great. Boss to employee, we need to talk about some stories that can come out of this. But friend to friend? I need to gossip,” Betty said, and Laura couldn’t help the laugh that left her lips.

“I’ll be there soon.”

“See you in a bit, Hollis.”

“Bye, Betts.”

Laura left a slightly sappy note for her vampire on the counter, letting her know she was going to be in the office and not to worry. She stopped by her house to change into something a little more work appropriate (she was wearing sweats from Carmilla’s and thought maybe she could try and _little_ harder), grab her laptop, and within the hour was strolling through the glass doors of _A-Z._

“Laura!” Gina’s bright voice greeted her. “How are you? Wow, you healed fast from that fight. You have to tell me your secrets.”

“A lady never tells, Gina,” Laura said with a wink. _But also, really, I can’t tell you._

“Can I get you anything? A coffee? Hot cocoa?” the assistant asked a little too eagerly.

“I’m fine, Gina, but thank you. Betty is lucky to have _such_ an attentive assistant, though,” Laura mused, and Gina all but blushed under her gaze. The blonde realized she had drawled out her sentence in the cooing, praising tone Lilita so often used on people. A shiver ran down her spine at the thought. She stumbled to get back to herself. “Just, um, could you let me know when Betty is available? Or tell her I’m at my desk. She had a couple of things she wanted to discuss with me.”

“Of course!” Betty practically jumped from her seat with her desire to be of use. “And Laura?”

“Yes, Gina?”

“Your article on the Black Box was really, _really_ good. So, um, so was your fight,” she said quietly, looking down.

“You saw it?”

“I did. I…I like boxing.”

Laura noticed the assistant was blushing a little bit again.

_Oh she’s got a crush on you, Hollis. Be careful with this one._

“I’m glad you enjoyed it, Gina. Have you ever thought about trying boxing yourself?”

“Me? Oh, no, never. I like to watch it but… I think my parents would have a conniption of they thought I was doing something so dangerous.”

“It’s a great release, and really good exercise. My dad doesn’t like that I do it, either, but if you’re ever interested, maybe Carmilla and I could set you up with someone,” Laura said, giving the girl an encouraging smile.

“Karnstein? You’re still in contact with her? After that fight?”

“I am. She’s my girlfriend.”

“Oh,” Gina said, seeming just a tad crestfallen, but hiding it well. “I’ll think about it. I do need to change up my workout routine. And maybe it would help me release all this extra energy. I’m kind of… tightly wound.”

“I’ve noticed,” Laura laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m pretty tightly wound, too, and it really _does_ help me release tension.”

“Gina, could you get Peter Stiles on the phone, I need to— Laura you’re here!” Betty cut herself off, nearly jumping out her skin in excitement.

“Hey Betts,” Laura said, laughing at Betty’s reaction.

“I have some calls to make and things to hammer down here, but how about we do a lunch meeting? An _extended_ lunch meeting?” Betty said, giving Laura her usual excited grin.

“That sounds great, Betts. I should work on an article about last night anyway.”

“Perfect,” Betty said, then turned back to Gina and finished asking the question she was asking before her joy of seeing Laura interrupted her. Then she looked up and winked before she went back into her office.

“Gina, we’ll continue the boxing chat later. But honestly, think about it. I can get you all set up with anything you need,” she said, beginning to walk toward her desk.

“Okay, thanks Laura!” Gina erupted, waving enthusiastically as the blonde walked away.

_Poor girl. So much pent up energy._

Laura silently crossed to her desk and took a seat, opening her laptop and beginning to write an article about the night before. Titled, “Navigating the Notorious”, the first paragraph poured out of her easily:

‘ _Laura Hollis’ was a name drenched in infamy in my hometown. The lacrosse prodigy, the child that lost her mother, the gay girl, the… “dyke”. I struggled with having my name constantly on people’s lips until I moved to the city and became unknown once more. Until now. Laura Hollis, the boxer, Laura Hollis, the journalist, Laura Hollis, the lover of Lilita Morgan’s foster daughter, Carmilla Karnstein… Laura Hollis, the woman that woke up this morning, no longer anonymous._

Struggling to talk about the auction without giving too much of Lilita away or writing something that may set the CEO off, Laura worked diligently, headphones stuck in her ears, until a soft hand on her shoulder startled her out of work-mode.

“Ah!” she yelped, turning to see her surprised boss.

“Sorry Laura! Didn’t mean to scare you,” Betty said.

“No, no, it’s fine,” Laura squeaked, getting her breath back. “I was just so invested.”

“That’s what I like to hear. Listen, I’m thinking I’ll be ready in half an hour or so. Is that a good time for you?”

“That’d be great.”

“Great!” Betty said, turning around and striding back to her office.

A warmth filled Laura’s belly, a purring coming up into her chest. Carmilla was somewhere close.

No more than thirty seconds later, the brunette strode around the corner, catching Laura’s eye. The blonde smiled brightly at her baby vamp, standing to meet her. Carm’s arms enveloped her in a hug.

“Mmm,” her baby vampire whispered, and Laura heard her sniff, taking in the smaller blonde’s scent. “I missed you when I woke up this morning.”

“I couldn’t wake you. You were so adorable curled up as your little panther.”

“My panther is anything but little, creampuff.”

“My little baby vamp. My little baby panther.”

“Oh here we go.”

Laura offered Carmilla a small kiss on the lips.

“So,” the brunette said, “that ball of energy in front of your boss’s office is just… a bundle of joy, isn’t she?”

“Oh, you met Gina? She… takes some getting used to. I think she has a crush on me,” Laura mused quietly.

“And why wouldn’t see? You’re gorgeous, and talented, and sweet. You have the body of a goddess and the—”

“Carmilla Karnstein, I am at work. No work seducing today,” Laura said as she swatted her baby vampire on the arm. The brunette looked in no way chastened by Laura’s comment. In fact, she winked at the blonde. Laura rolled her eyes.

“I thought I’d come take you out for lunch,” the vampire said.

“Oh, Carm, that’s so sweet. But I can’t. I have to go out with Betty for lunch. She wants to talk about some articles and I’m writing a new one on last night, I’m probably going to have to go to _Viru_ later and get everything okay’d by Lilita. I’d rather I do it than—”

“Cupcake, breathe, it’s okay,” Carmilla said, offering Laura a calming hand on the blonde’s upper arm.

“Sorry. I guess I’m more wound up today than I thought.”

“Mmm, wound up, huh? I’ll bet I could _unwind_ you…” Laura’s baby vamp said, her fingers drawing lazy circle’s on Laura’s arm.

“ _Carmilla,_ what did I just say about work seduction?”

“That it’s absolutely necessary and I should take you right here, right now?” Carmilla grinned innocently.

“You’re hopeless,” Laura said, rolling her eyes again.

“Only for you.” The brunette’s tone was suddenly serious. A flush formed on Laura’s cheeks as she felt the intensity of not only Carmilla’s stare, but the emotion pulsing from the brunette’s chest. Laura didn’t know if she’d ever get used to feeling emotions that weren’t hers.

“Laura!” Gina called, coming around the corner. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt…” The assistant looked suddenly panicked, awkwardly trying to turn around but obviously needing to talk to Laura.

“It’s fine, Gina,” Laura called back, pulling Carmilla toward her boss’s assistant, who turned back. “This is my girlfriend, Carmilla,”

“We met,” Carmilla said, aloof.

“Yes. Um. Sorry again. Lilita Morgan is on the phone asking for you.”

 _Why is she calling A-Z?_ Laura thought as she turned back toward her desk, protection flaring out from the brunette beside her.

“Thanks, Gina, I’ll grab it,” Laura said before picking up her phone’s receiver.

“Took you long enough, darling,” Lilita said on the other line.

“Hello, Lilita,” Laura returned.

“I know you’re writing an article on last night, I sensed it. Might you come by my home around 4 pm today to discuss it… amongst other things?” Laura’s gaze met Carmilla’s.

“Um, I—”

“Don’t stutter, pet, it’s unbecoming.”

“Sure,” Laura said flatly.

“Wonderful. And dear, do come _alone_. I’d like some time to discuss things, woman to woman. Without any prying eyes or ears.” _Without Carmilla, you mean._

“Okay…” Laura said, her throat dry.

“Beautiful. I shall send William with the car. To your place of work, I assume?”

“Yes,” Laura answered.

“A woman of few words today, I see. I shall look forward to seeing you at 4, my beauty. Ta for now,” Lilita said, and then the line went dead.

“I will be as close to her house as I can possibly get,” Carmilla said, already in full protection mode. “And do _not_ eat or drink anything while you’re there,” she said, her gaze boring into Laura’s eyes.

After ten minutes of Carmilla playing protective vampire and two hours of lunch with Betty, Laura was packing up to head over to Lilita’s. Will was going to be outside within the half hour.

Lunch with Betty had gone well. Laura couldn’t remember the last time she and Betty had shared a proper conversation, gossiping about girls and life and yes, while Laura’s life was now rampant with vampires and she conveniently left out the part where she was a Shadow, it was still nice to share a meal with her friend and giggle like they were teenagers again.

Betty had set up a full day with Laura and Lilita the next week, to do photos for their spread and go over anything in the articles the CEO needed to talk about. As if Laura and Lilita weren’t about to do that at her home that very afternoon.

Laura was tapping on her keyboard, lost in thought, when a familiar voice pulled her out.

“Hey, Frosh, how’s it hangin’?” Laura turned to see LaF’s usual childlike grin. They were holding a small paper bag in hand that they held out to her. “Your blood sucking girlfriend called, said you might need more of this. I’ll tell ya, Laur, she’s scary when she gets protective.”

“You have no idea,” Laura said, laughing. “Thank you.” She took the bag from LaF. “What is this stuff, anyway?”

“Meh. A mix beta blockers… a blood thinner… maybe a liiiiiiittle bit of THC…”

“ _LaFontaine!”_ Laura whispered.

“What? It’s legal. And it takes the edge off you. There’s some other stuff in there, too. But you’ll have to buy me dinner before I put out for that,” LaF said, winking. Laura rolled her eyes.

“Thank you, LaF, really. I know I’ve been… distant and away and aloof and everything lately. I haven’t been the best friend.”

“Laura Eileen Hollis. We are fighting the first vampire. We may be fighting the end of the world. Gabbing about our girlfriends or grabbing a beer isn’t always possible. I get it,” they said. “But, actually, if you have some time over the next few days… I’m looking into buying, well, I know her and what she likes but I feel like I want you to be with me when I get it, you know?”

“LaF, you’re stuttering, what are you asking me?” Laura said, her gaze meeting theirs.

“I want to ask Perry to marry me. I know it’s stupid, we’re facing Lilita and you’re going all Dementor or whatever you are but—”

Laura _squealed_.

“LAF! This is _amazing_! Oh gods, yes, I have to come with you. There are so many options! Oh Perry is going to lose her mind, this is so exciting, oh my gods LaF—” Laura was sputtering, practically jumping up and down. She threw her arms around LaF’s neck and they reciprocated.

“So you think it’s a good idea?” they asked, obviously nervous.

“LaFontaine, this is the best idea anyone has _ever_ had,” Laura said, holding LaF’s shoulders and looking into their nervous eyes. Their anxiousness gave way to a giddy smile.

“I’m so excited, Laur, I have it all figured out. I’m planning a scavenger hunt, maybe in a few weeks, all her favorite places in the city. The last clue… well… I’m sure you can guess.”

“LaF, that is _amazing._ She’s going to love it.”

“So you’ll help?” they asked, their nerves obviously returning.

“Of _course_ I’ll help!” Laura squeaked, excitedly grabbing LaF and giving them a hug again.

“Some of us need to breathe, Frosh,” they said after a few seconds.

“Hey, I’m still human. I still breathe.”

“And drink blood?”

“It’s so gross. It tastes so good though…” Laura said, a wince on her face.

“Ew. Intriguing beyond belief, but ew,” LaF said.

‘WILL’ came up on Laura’s cell.

“Oh shit, LaF I have to go, I’m—”

“Meeting Lilita, I know. Your broody girl told me. Be safe, Hollis.”

“Of course, LaF. I have a wedding to help you plan!” she said, winking, as LaF offered her a hug and then turned on their heels and left.

* * *

As Will drove Laura through the city toward Lilita’s, Laura could feel her vampire with her. Looking out the windows, she couldn’t see Carmilla, but she knew the woman was there. Somewhere. Soothing waves poured over her, the brunette was close and doing her best to keep Laura’s anxiety at bay.

 _Best of wives and best of women,_ Laura thought, quoting _Hamilton_ , and then was shocked at her own use of “wives.” Her body went into panic-mode over the thought and she felt Carmilla’s confusion at her sudden change of emotion and the brunette’s attempt at kicking the peace and protection up a notch.

The car pulled up to a lavish townhome on a quiet block. Will stepped out and rounded the car to open Laura’s door. She suddenly felt underdressed (as she did most times in the presence of Lilita).

“I’m sorry we didn’t get much of a chance to talk, Miss Hollis. You seemed anxious. I didn’t want to intrude,” Will said as Laura climbed out from the town car.

“You’re sweet, William. Thank you. I am quite anxious today,” Laura said.

“Carmilla is next door. Don’t tell Mother,” he said , barely looking at the blonde and walking back to the driver’s side door and getting back into the vehicle without a second glance.

Laura sighed with the knowledge her vampire was not far away, then tensed again as she walked toward the front door. A sense of overwhelming love coursed through her, and she knew her baby vamp was doing her very best to keep the blonde calm.

 _I love you, Carmilla Karnstein,_ Laura thought as hard as she could, trying desperately to get the message to the brunette. She didn’t know quite how this emotional transference deal worked yet, so she thought maybe thinking something _really hard_ might get the message across.

The door to the townhome opened as Laura stepped up toward it. There Lilita stood in all her blonde, Amazonian glory.

“Darling, you look ravishing,” the woman coaxed, sending a thrill through Laura, having nothing to do with what she’d said. “Come.” She held her hand out and Laura took it.

The townhome was decorated in the style of the 1920s, but Laura could barely take any of it in as she fought to keep her senses straight while they walked through the foyer and large kitchen.

Suddenly a large atrium opened before her, with forty or fifty attractive young people all seated at round tables meeting her gaze. Lilita lifted the blonde’s hand to her mouth and offered her a kiss.

The young people in front of her bowed, all offering two simple words.

“My harbinger,” they said.

Laura could _sense_ her eyes grow purple. And suddenly, Carmilla felt _very_ far away.

“May I get you anything, Miss Hollis?” The voice came from behind her. Laura knew that voice, she would have known it in her sleep. She whipped around.

“Danny?!” the tiny journalist very nearly shouted, unable to hide her surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DANNY.


	21. The Only Way She Knew How

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Lilita have an unexpected conversation, which lead Laura and Carmilla to have an unexpected argument.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Laura confronts Lilita about her treatment of Carmilla. Conversations of past abuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovers of the dark!
> 
> You have been so lovely, waiting a week for me to get my life together and give you another chapter. This one is aaaaaaangsty, so forgive me. 
> 
> As always, your reads, comments, and kudos warm my lil heart.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe.

Laura’s stomach dropped into her feet and her heart lunged up and into her throat.

“D-Danny, what are you—”

“Come, dear, I shall give you time to chat with your little friend later,” Lilita said, and while her tone wasn’t urgent, the blonde could feel the CEO pulling her away from Danny. “I’d like to speak with you alone before we have dinner.”

The tall blonde took Laura’s hand and walked her away from the atrium. They wove through a lavishly decorated living room and into the warm furnishings of a study, lined with bookshelves filled with ancient-looking volumes. A large wooden desk sat near the other side of the room, a small plush couch in front of it.

“Sit, my Laura, please,” Lilita said, gesturing to the couch and Laura couldn’t help but do what she was asked. “You’ve brought your computer, yes?” Laura nodded, unable to do much else. She reached into her messenger bag and pulled it out. “May I read your latest article on me?” The CEO was batting her eyelashes and holding her arms out. Something in Laura wanted to jump into those arms and let the woman comfort the swell of emotions attacking her, but she knew Lilita was asking for the computer, not for cuddles.

Laura unlocked her laptop and pulled up the article, handing it over to the taller blonde.

“Wonderful. You’re so obedient, darling, I do so appreciate you,” Lilita drawled, and Laura felt herself melt under the woman’s warm gaze.

“Do sit, dear,” Lilita said, her eyes fixed on Laura’s laptop. The blonde obeyed, sitting on the couch with her hands folded in her lap quietly.

A knock came on the office door.

“I am busy,” Lilita said sternly, her eyes still locked on the journalist’s laptop, moving back and forth at a quick pace.

“Beverage for Laura, Miss Morgan,” Danny’s voice came from the other side of the door. Laura’s lip twitched. She still felt herself enough to hate what was going on with one of her best friends.

“Enter,” Lilita snapped.

Danny opened the door, a mug in hand. She walked over to Laura and handed it over.

“Danny, I’m—”

“Laura, let us be good hosts, yes?” Danny said, and the lilt in her voice was higher than usual. It grated the blonde’s ears.

“Thank you, Danielle.” Lilita’s eyes were still unmoving from the screen. She waved a hand to dismiss the redhead.

Danny curtsied. She _curtsied_ toward Lilita and left the office without another word, or another look at Laura.

Laura looked down at the mug in her hands.

Cocoa.

The edges of her lips turned up in a small smile. She tried her best to hide the emotion she was feeling, because it was comfort.

Maybe Danny wasn’t so far removed from herself after all.

Maybe this… maybe this was her subtle way of telling Laura she was still in there. Laura sipped the hot chocolate gratefully, the warmth of the liquid not the only thing making her body relax.

Lilita had a handful of fixes on the article, nothing huge but things Laura may usually balk at, twisting certain turns of phrase to make things a little more grey instead of the black and white way Laura was looking at the situation. It didn’t change the tone of the piece, and the journalist knew she could play with things to make sure the heart of the story stayed the same, but she also needed to please Lilita.

_Needed._

Yes. She **_needed_** _._

Carmilla’s inner growl vibrated in the blonde’s chest.

_Vampires. Not big on sharing. Right. Duh. Ugh._

Laura mustered her energy and tried to send Carmilla some kind of reassurance. She was cut short.

“Do focus, Laura, please,” Lilita began. “There is no need to soothe your lover at the moment. Mircalla is just fine. Possessive, of course, but fine.”

_Fine. If only you knew how we feel about “fine”._

“Would you join me on the porch for a glass of wine?” Lilita continued, gesturing to the door they’d come in from. “Our pets are fine for awhile. They won’t come until called,” she finished.

Laura wasn’t all together elated by Lilita’s comment, but she followed her Sire from the office toward a door with ornate stained glass that led to a generously sized porch. A awning hung overhead, delicious flora abounded, and a gleaming white set of lawn furniture sat in front of them.

On the table sat a decanter of wine, as if awaiting the women. Two glasses stood proudly next to it, glittering with how clean they were.

“You wonder what I see in you,” the CEO said as they sat and she picked up the decanter, pouring glasses for the two of them. None of Lilita’s staff was outside with them. This was meant to be a _private encounter._

“Kind of, yes,” Laura said, taking her wine from Lilita’s offering hand.

“No need to be coy or shy, darling, I _know_ you do,” the tall blonde cooed, offering her own glass out as a toast. Their rims met, a “twang” filling the air around them before they sipped.

The blood and the wine swirled on Laura’s taste buds deliciously. This was better even than the _Viru_ house wine.

 _Most major religions probably wouldn’t know what to do, wine and_ ** _actual_** _blood…_ Laura joked to herself as she placed the wine down. She felt Carmilla chastise her deep within her belly.

 _Carm, I need_ ** _some_** _fun,_ Laura thought, unable to control it.

“I will not ask you again to not coddle my Mircalla,” Lilita’s sharp tone cut through Laura’s thoughts.

There was something different in Laura’s belly this time. Yes, the shame for having disappointed her Sire, but something else. Something… no, it wasn’t from Carmilla… something that was _all hers._

“ _Carmilla_ is my girlfriend, Lilita,” Laura began, and the taller blonde’s eyes snapped to attention. _Interesting_. “She is your daughter, but she is my great love. You are my Sire, she is my Sire, and you’ve said that you do not wish to tear us apart.”

Lilita said nothing, her face stoic, waiting for Laura to continue. But Laura could feel her anger. And something in that anger cracking.

“I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to feel these emotions that aren’t mine. I love her. I’m here with you. Bear with me, I’ve always been a hands-on learner. I can’t do everything you ask immediately when you ask it of me.”

They stared at each other, Laura’s eyes hard and Lilita’s eyes curious. The CEO’s lips turned up in a grin and she lifted her wine glass in a toast.

“You truly are everything I have wanted you to be, Miss Hollis,” she said.

“What does that _mean?_ ” Laura asked, her bark likely worse than her bite. Maybe.

“It means you have the heart of a lion, the face of an angel, the loyalty of a puppy, the fire of the gods themselves, and yet your soul hungers to be worthy. To please,” Lilita said, patiently waiting for the tiny journalist to lift her glass in a toast.

Laura felt in her bones that everything the CEO had said was true. And that scared her.

“You are frightened,” Lilita said, placing her glass back down on the table, and a wave of concern washed over Laura. The taller blonde stood and strode over to the smaller woman. Then she did something Laura never expected. The CEO knelt in front of the journalist.

“What can I do?” Lilita purred, looking into Laura’s eyes with such care that the blonde felt a familiar tightness erupting in her chest.

“Come here,” the woman said, pulling Laura to her feet and over to a small wicker loveseat. She dragged Laura into her arms as she situated the blonde next to her and began to stroke her hair. “What is it you want to know?”

“What are you doing? Why am I here? What use can I possibly be to you?” Laura stumbled over all her questions to get them out.

“Oh dear, I did think Mircalla would have told you, darling, shh…” Lilita cooed, and Laura could feel her eyes begin to burn. Her emotions were becoming too strong, too overwhelming. She didn’t want to be a part of this madness, she didn’t want to be a Shadow! And yet she did.

She _craved_ it.

“We are preparing for The Christening,” Lilita began, and before Laura could ask what that was, the CEO began to explain. “I have waited for one such as you for as long as I can remember,” Lilita said, still stroking Laura’s hair calmly. “The world will see you, they will _adore_ you, more than even I. More than Mircalla. You, my darling, devoted, dutiful dear, shall be our savior,” she whispered soothingly in Laura’s ear with a sense of reverence Laura had scarce heard before.

“But what does that _mean_?” she asked quietly.

“This world was not made for ones like us, yet we found our way here still,” Lilita said. “I was tortured, tormented, exiled from society just for being what it is I _am,_ ” the woman continued, the pain of the past coating her voice. “So I did the only thing I could do. I hid, for a long time. Lifetimes. And then I re-emerged to build an empire.”

“You tortured Carmilla,” Laura said, a sudden surge of courage running through her as she stood up. It was immediately squashed, like a bag of stones had been thrown haphazardly upon her chest.

“ _Mircalla_ was a tender girl. But she had a temper. She was careless. She cost me lives. The only love I have ever known on this earth died when he ran after her one night following one of her tantrums,” Lilita said, and suddenly the woman seemed small. Laura looked down at her, feeling everything inside her that was shattered. It was so much. It was _too_ much.

Carmilla’s blanket was trying desperately to comfort her from next door but it wasn’t helping, and it was making Laura feel guilty.

“I’m sorry, Lilita,” Laura began.

“It’s in the past, darling,” Lilita whispered.

“Let me finish,” the journalist said. “Please.” Lilita nodded. “I’m sorry that happened to you. But you can’t hold that over Carmilla forever. You can’t lock in her a box every time she misbehaves. She was a _child_ ,” Laura could feel her eyes beginning to leak. “Children can be reckless, it’s part of who humans are growing up. You don’t gain love or admiration or respect by abusing children, Lilita.”

“She never wanted to give me love or respect.”

“She worshipped the ground you walked on, Lilita, surely you know that,” Laura said, taking a seat beside the taller blonde. “She would have given you anything, she acted out because she didn’t know how else to express herself. She _loved_ you. I see it in the way she looks at you now. Her sharp eyes, her body tightens up… she _loved_ you in the only way she knew how. And you threw her away.” Tears were coming harder now, and Laura couldn’t quite tell if it was her feelings or Carmilla’s. Probably both. “Maybe you were scared, or angry, hurting about who you’d lost… but in doing what you did… you lost more than just your lover, Lilita. You lost your child. Your child that gave you her heart, and has given it to no one since.”

“Not no one,” the CEO said, barely above a whisper.

“No, not until me. You may have Sired me, but so did she. You’re right, I do wish to please you. Both of you. But it will be on my terms. This… this fight at the Black Box Carmilla purchased, this Christening… I’m not a plaything. We may be tied by the blood and bite and emotions, but if you want my respect, you will _earn_ it.” Laura’s voice was calm, collected, soothing, and Lilita seemed to melt underneath her. The tall blonde nearly whimpered, her shoulders seeming to drop under the weight of a particularly heavy exhale.

_How the tables turn._

“You, pet, may be wise beyond your years,” the CEO mused quietly. It took Laura aback. Had Lilita just praised her? Praised her for one of her own thoughts?

“Why Lilita, there may be hope for you yet,” Laura said, reaching over and grabbing her wine glass and holding it up in a toast.

A tear fell from Lilita’s eye. She was quick to wipe it away, but that was no use. The journalist would have felt it anyway.

“No, darling, I don’t think so,” the CEO said, her vulnerability hanging heavy in Laura’s chest. “Your articles are lovely, Laura. And we shall meet next week for those photos, yes?” Lilita continued, standing, her usual iciness and strength returning.

“Yes,” Laura said.

“Divine. Might I cut our evening short? I find myself incapable of hosting my most precious dear this evening.” Lilita walked back into her office. Laura followed as the taller blonde strode over to her desk and pressed a button on her landline.

“Danielle, be a dear and escort the Shadows to their rooms, will you? Dinner is postponed. I’m feeling ill.”

Lilita received a “yes, ma’am” in response, and it still shocked Laura to hear how easily the words fell from the redhead’s lips.

Lilita gestured to the door and Laura led the way, soon falling in line behind the CEO once they had left the office. The taller woman led her to the door and wrapped her in her arms. Laura took in her scent, it was soothing, calming, like something she had been missing.

She didn’t like it, and her body betrayed her, trembling.

“Shhh, pet, we shall have many nights like this. Tearing one another down to build each other up. This is part of the process of Shadows and Sires. Thank you, Laura.”

Laura felt both disgusted and elated by Lilita’s words. At this point in the evening her head was spinning. Carmilla felt close, closer than she had before when they were on the porch. Laura was beginning to learn that Carmilla’s emotions lived in the journalist’s lower chest and gut, whereas Lilita’s seemed to live in her throat and right underneath her breastbone. Laura’s gut clenched tightly as she felt Carmilla reaching out for her, a desperate, hungry longing. There was something almost manic about it, like Carmilla was worried beyond worry that something was wrong with Laura.

“Until next time,” Laura finally said, realizing it had been a few seconds since Lilita had said her thank you and the two had pulled away from each other. The CEO reached for the door knob and opened.

Carmilla paced on the front step. When she saw Laura, the blonde felt the sense of relief rush through her baby vampire as the brunette threw her arms around the journalist.

“Laura, oh gods, creampuff, you’re okay,” Carmilla whispered in Laura’s ear. “I lost my sense of you a few times, I was so…” Her voice cracked, trailing off.

“Hey, Carm, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Laura soothed quietly. She heard the door click behind them. No snarky comment from Carmilla to Lilita, no judgmental drawl from the CEO to her daughter.

“Cupcake I was so worried she’d hurt you.”

“I think I was the one that did the hurting tonight, Carm.”

* * *

The couple opted to walk the few miles together toward LaFontaine’s lab. They needed to peace of walking together, of holding hands, the solace of existing together in the city they were trying desperately to keep safe.

Laura told Carmilla everything about the evening and the conversation with Lilita. Before her baby vamp’s breath caught in her chest when the blonde told her lover about what she had said to Lilita, Laura could feel pride, relief, and love from her scalp to the tips of her toes.

“How do you do that?” Carmilla asked, gripping onto Laura’s hand more tightly.

“What?” the blonde asked.

“Save me again and again and again?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s what we’re supposed to do for each other.”

Carmila rested her head on the journalist’s shoulder, and Laura could feel a purring in her own chest which she knew was coming from Carmilla. Lilita seemed oh so far away.

“Carm?” Laura said after a moment, trying hard to enjoy the quiet walk with her girlfriend but knowing there was so much more to be done.

“Mmm?” the baby vampire said.

“Lilita has Danny. She was there, um… serving us. She brought me cocoa after I asked her not to, she used to do that all the time when we were dating, I feel like she was doing it to tell me she was still in there… but—”

“Cupcake, I know.”

“ _What?”_

Carmilla sighed and unlinked her fingers from Laura’s.

“Part of when I disappeared the other night…” Carmilla began, trailing off a bit. “Danny’s been a wreck over everything you’ve been through. She wanted to do something. Mattie set her up with something with Lilita. She started—”

“Last night. After the auction.” Laura remembered Lilita had offered Danny something. Danny had been snarky in the moment, but it must have all been a show. The blonde picked up her pace, anger flaring in her chest.

“Laura—”

“Why didn’t you tell me, Carm? Aren’t we a team?”

“Of course, Laura, that’s not why—”

“I go into the fray, I become a frakking Shadow, I get sold at an _auction,_ I go to Lilita’s tonight _by myself_ and stand up to the woman who could crush me under the heel of her _very_ expensive shoes in a heartbeat, I deal with feeling your emotions and mine and hers and hold down a job writing articles about the world’s most celebrated CEO but my girlfriend and one of my best friend’s still feel the need to hide things from me.” Laura was stuttering, speaking so quickly she barely acknowledged that punctuation was a formative part of the English language.

She heard the brunette hurry after her.

“I was trying to protect you, to tell you at the right time, it’s been a hell of a week, creampuff,” Carmilla pleaded.

“Yeah I know, _cupcake,_ I’ve been living it,” Laura spat.

“Laura, I—”

“I’m tired, Carm. I know we need to go to LaF’s but I’m tired. You go, tell them about the Christening stuff, I’m going home.”

“Please—”

“Don’t make me command you, Carmilla,” Laura said, and she felt her entire body grow as cold as her voice was.

“Laura…” the vampire said, stopping in her tracks. The blonde felt her baby vamp’s surprise at the journalist’s threat.

“I need some time to think, Carmilla. Please,” Laura said without looking at Carmilla. Her heart ached, as did her vampire’s. She knew Carmilla could feel her guilt, she knew her baby vamp could sense everything inside her, but it didn’t stop her from saying any of it. “I’m going home. Don’t follow me.”

The words hung heavily in the air as Laura walked away. She didn’t hear footsteps follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emotions: tough things.


	22. AGAIN.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura deals with the fallout of Carmilla lying to her. Laura and LaF shop for a ring for Perry. Laura has an unexpected nightmare.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Violent dream (not too graphic), deep anxiety and depression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!
> 
> Trying to get back in the swing of bringing you all a couple of chapters a week. Your comments on the last chapter floored me, I'm so glad you're all sticking with this funky little story and that it's moving some of you so deeply. Thank you, I am truly humbled and grateful for each of you and your words.
> 
> This is angsty, too, because apparently I just can't help myself. Worry not, we'll get some more fluff soon.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

Laura knew Carmilla hadn’t meant to hurt her. Of course she knew that. But she couldn’t help the bitter disappointment that clung to her chest, her shoulders, her back, the tips of her fingers… the vampire still thought she was too weak to handle things. That she would freak out and have an attack, or lose control of her newfound powers and do something she couldn’t control. Maybe Carmilla didn’t want to deal with her when she was like that.

The blonde curled even more tightly into herself, too tired to crawl under the covers despite the chill on her skin.

What if it wasn’t the Shadow part of her that Carmilla couldn’t deal with? What if it was something else? What if it was the doubts, the anxieties, what if it was not wanting to deal with Laura in public when she had an attack?

The small rational part of Laura’s brain that was left untouched by her current state told her that her mind was lying to her. But that didn’t matter. She hugged her knees close to her chest. It had been quite some time since she’d experienced a fallout like this. Since she’d curled up on her bed and felt like never getting up.

Somewhere in her haze she heard the familiar fiddling of a key in a lock, followed by a door opening. Whispers echoed down the hall and through her open bedroom door. She had been too busy rushing toward her bed when she got home to close it.

“Netflix, honey, Buffy. _Not_ season six,” she heard Perry say. Cabinets were being opened, but Laura was too far gone to lift her body and go out to see what was going on. Her eyes were so heavy. She closed them tightly and let out the sob that was threatening to pop her chest.

Laura didn’t know how long she’d stayed like that. Had she fallen asleep? Or just gone so deep into that part of herself that she lost all sense of time and space? The clink of a cup on a side table met her ears, then a soothing hand was on her back. Laura launched herself from her curled up position into Perry’s welcoming, warm arms.

“Shhh, honey, oh Laura, it’s okay, shhh,” Perry repeated quietly, holding Laura close. Perry had been the first person in college to see Laura have days or nights like this, and she’d always been there for the journalist.

“We’ve got Buffy for you, and some dinner. I made you cocoa,” Perry said as Laura unwrapped herself from the redhead. Perry’s thumbs wiped away some of her tears. “There she is.”

Perry didn’t ask what was wrong, or what happened, or pry in any way. She never did. She waited, holding space for Laura to be ready to tell her what was going on. The redhead may be neurotic and tightly wound, but she had always been one of the more empathic people Laura had ever known. Perry reminded her a little bit of her mother, in all the best ways.

She let Perry help her off the bed and took the mug offered to her gratefully. An arm slipped around her waist and helped her into the living room where a patiently waiting LaF sat on her couch with an episode of Buffy ready to go on the television.

When Perry had helped her sit down and put a plate of food in front of her, along with a small glass of _Viru_ blood, shock ran through the blonde’s system, waking her voice for the first time since she’d spoken to Carmilla earlier.

“Perry, I— thank you,” she whispered, barely audible.

“Laura, honey, did you really think a small thing like becoming a Shadow and drinking blood would deter us from you?” Perry asked, waving a hand around in the most Perry way. Laura caught a glimpse of her punching bag out of her periphery.

It was such a short time ago she felt strong standing in front of that bag. Invincible. Now it felt like she couldn’t walk two feet without having an anxiety attack or suddenly having 79 Shadows staring at her with reverence.

 _Save them,_ she scoffed to herself, remembering what Lilita had said about being their savior, _I can’t even save myself._

* * *

It took a few days for Laura to feel like herself again. Days of wallowing, or LaF stopping by and watching Buffy and Veronica Mars with her… Laura tried to bring up Laf’s proposal a few times, but LaF refused to talk about it: “I’m here to be with you, Laur, and besides, I really _have_ to know why Backup is a different dog almost  _every_ _time_ he’s onscreen…”

Laura knew that was code for, “I won’t burden you until you feel better,” but she was thankful for it nonetheless. Carmilla had called four times, texted a handful, and LaF had mentioned her name once in passing, saying she was worried about Laura.

She hadn’t stopped by though.

She was waiting for Laura’s move.

Laura was thankful for that. Grateful for it. Moved by it, even. That is until LaF stopped by in the afternoon on the third day.

“Whatchya feelin, Laur? I think we have some season three Veronica Mars with our name on it… Laur?”

Laura was actively punching the bag in front of her for the first time since… well… she was active since the night in the ring with Carmilla.

It felt _good._

She barely heard her redheaded scientist best friend come in.

Music was blaring in the apartment and Laura was actively singing along to some _S Club 7_ , something she’d never admit to anyone that she did, let alone _LaFontaine._

“Well it seems like you’re feeling better,” they shouted as they sprawled out on the couch.

The journalist finally took in her best friend and nearly jumped out of her skin.

“LaF!” she shouted, turning around in surprise, despite the fact she had subconsciously heard them from the moment they entered the apartment.

“Tis I,” they said with faux melodramatics.

Laura lowered the music (not turning it off completely, mind you) and sat on the couch next to her friend.

“I’ve been the worst…” she muttered softly, letting her head fall onto LaF’s shoulder.

“The worst? Laura, there are a lot of people in history that are the worst. You’re top twenty, at best,” they said, winking.

“But your proposal…” Laura began.

“Will happen with or without you, Laur,” LaF said, an excited smile lighting up their face. “I want your help, but I don’t _need_ it.”

“Well you’re going to get it. Now. Today. Rings. Ideas. Let’s talk,” Laura said, her body bopping back and forth with joy.

“You… wanna shower? Get cleaned up?” LaF asked.

“What. Are. Your. Ring. Ideas?” Laura asked, punctuating each word. LaF smiled, shaking their head.

“She likes princess cuts, but she’d never say it,” they began, and Laura grinned. This was exactly what the tiny journalist needed.

* * *

The jeweler had been confused, 100% sure that Laura was the one LaF was going to be proposing to despite Laura’s protestations. But not to worry, they had the exact ring LaF and Laura knew Perry would lose her mind over by early evening. As they stepped out of the store, LaF said the first thing about Carmilla they had mentioned since first time they'd watched Veronica Mars the other day.

“You should call her, Laur.” It was nonchalant, but Laura knew better than to accept LaF at face value. “She’ll wait forever. Don’t make her.”

“LaF—”

“Laura, you just spent an hour inside telling me about all the rings Carmilla would love. Call. Her. Truly, for us all. I know you miss her. You’re just being stubborn.”

The journalist smiled at LaF’s words. They were, as always, right. She reached for her phone as it buzzed. A text from Mel.

     Mel: _You and Karnstein. Rematch. Tomorrow. 9 PM._

Laura’s jaw dropped. What in the _Hellmouth_ was she supposed to do now? Laura’s finger trembled on the glass of her phone as she replied quickly to Mel with an “I’ll be there.” Then she pulled up Carmilla’s text chain.

     Baby Vamp: _LaF tells me you’re okay._

     Baby Vamp: _I miss you._

     Baby Vamp: _I’m sorry, Laura. I was so wrong. I’m so sorry._

     Baby Vamp: _I can’t feel you anymore. But I hope you know that I still think about you when I look at the stars. I went out and danced under them last night, and sang to you._

It was the first time Laura really read the text messages, the most recent of them from the night before, and they broke her heart. She had been so involved with herself the last few days that she hadn’t realized her body had instinctively shut out the emotions of Carmilla and Lilita. Both women’s inner lives seemed to flood her all at once, almost knocking the blonde off her feet. She couldn't even be mad that Carmilla had scheduled the fight without asking her.

“Whoa, Laur, ya okay?” LaF said, their arms around her,

“Yeah, I’m… yeah. Sorry, LaF,” Laura said, steadying herself. LaF watched tentatively as Laura sent her baby vamp a text back.

     Laura: _Surprised you swapped Lilita out for you. See you in the ring, Karnstein._

Then a few seconds later:

     Laura: _I love it when you sing. I hope you know I love you, Carm. I’m mad, but I love you. Don’t hold back tomorrow. I won’t._

Carmilla’s answer was almost immediate.

     Baby Vamp: _Mel wouldn’t let me swap with you so that I could fight her, and_ _I’ll never again let that monster hurt you. You’re on. I love you, creampuff,  like nothing else I’ve ever loved. I don’t forget that I told you I would earn everything you’ve done for me. I haven’t been doing it, but I will, if you’ll let  me._

Laura couldn’t help the blush that bepainted her cheeks.

“Come on, you sappy homo,” LaF said, winking, throwing an arm around Laura as the two strode back toward Laura’s apartment.

Laura had expected LaF to come inside and watch a few episodes of Veronica Mars with her, but they made some excuse about needing to find a good place to hide the ring where Perry couldn’t find it.

“LaF, are you okay? You got all twitchy, is something up? Is it JP?” Laura asked, guilty she hadn’t been more concerned about JP before now.

“JP’s okay actually. We ran some tests, we don’t think he’s a Shadow. I do think he knows more about this Christening stuff than he remembers. Maybe we’ll get there. It’d certainly help…” they babbled. “Anyway, I’ll let you go. You’ve had an emotional few days, you’re tired. You need to relax. You have a fight tomorrow.”

Laura threw her arms around her friend.

“I’m so excited for you and Perr, LaF. I’m sorry I haven’t been a better friend to you.”

“You’ve been the best, Laura. The best you could, given the circumstances,” LaF said quietly, shuffling their feet a bit. “See you tomorrow, Hollis.”

They began their walk up the street as Laura fit her key in the lock and turned. The sun was beginning to set and the evening life of the city started to buzz around her. Exhaustion crept over her. LaF was right, she _was_ tired.

Her body felt heavy as she walked up the stairs and down the hall to her apartment. Her emotions had been so erratic the last few days that her sense of Lilita and Carmilla came and went, but in the release of working out earlier and spending the day with LaF, she settled and could feel her two Sires seeping back in. Her gut was quiet, calm: Carm must have been watching the sun set or meditating somewhere. Her chest was heavy, busy, but not frantic. Lilita must be diligently working on something.

_Surely._

Soft music was coming from Laura’s apartment.

 _Did I leave my music on all day_ ** _again_** _?_ she mused to herself as she opened the door.

Well-placed candles sat all around the living room and kitchen, their light filling the steadily darkening apartment in twilight. The music flooded Laura’s ears as she took a look around, seeing a large panther sitting quietly in the middle of the room, its head bowed, eyes closed, and a blanket draped around its shoulders. The cat’s chest moved steadily up and down, breathing calmly. Carmilla hadn’t even flinched or looked up when Laura entered the apartment.

“Carm?” Laura asked quietly as she closed and locked the door, then turned back around. “Carm, what are you doing?”

The panther stayed still as stone, but the feeling in Laura’s gut shifted to guilt and an overwhelming sense of needing to apologize. Carmilla’s need to apologize.

Laura’s baby panther stood up slowly and calmly stalked down the hallway toward the blonde’s room. Laura had no choice but to follow, she was too curious as to what was going on. She stepped into her bedroom and saw the panther curling up on the floor at the foot of her bed, the blanket still somehow curled around its body. It was a strange way of showing it, but Laura understood. This was Carmilla’s way of saying she was sorry. Some small sign of her repentance.

“Carm, you don’t have to do this,” the journalist said, feeling awkward about the great big cat laying on her floor.

The panther huffed, and Laura felt a surge in her belly, as if Carmilla was saying, “yes I do, cupcake.”

Laura stood for a moment before walking back into her living room and blowing out the candles. She noticed something: on each of them was painted an object. A bluebird on one, boxing gloves on another, there was even one with a small figure of what must have been her, holding a lacrosse stick, with an adorable bunched up look on her face. The one next to the refrigerator had a whole scene painted on it ( _how did anyone even manage to paint something that small so detailed?)_ : Laura holding Carmilla on the porch the night she carried her baby vamp inside and took care of her.

She blew that candle out, the last flame to die, and carried it back to her bedroom. She placed it down beside Carmilla, hoping her vampire understood what the blonde was trying to say. The panther inched marginally closer to it, and Laura knew her baby vamp got it. She smiled.

Talking with Carmilla was always wonderful, but sometimes silent communication was just as necessary. Just as soothing.

Another nightmare haunted Laura’s dreams that night. It wasn’t something from Carmilla’s past, rather it was Laura at some kind of Alumni Event for Silas University, her Alma Mater. Lilita was there, along with Carm, both looking stunning. Danny was there, too, and some of the Shadows. Betty was up onstage giving a speech, but Laura wasn’t taking it in. Perry and LaF sat at a table, consumed in conversation. They both had rings on their fingers. Laura smiled at that.

Then the colors began to bleed together and disappear. All except the red, the wine in the glasses, the cherry in the wood, and Laura’s hands. They were red. Red with blood.

_Something is very wrong._

Screaming around her filled her ears.

“Cupcake, we have to go, we have to go now,” Carmilla said to her, grabbing the blonde’s arm and trying to pull her out of the room. People were running and screaming, looking at her like she was a monster.

Lilita sat cool as a cucumber at one of the tables, calmly sipping her wine like nothing was wrong. She was looking at Laura with the proudest gaze. The journalist could feel a swell in her chest and an involuntary smile lit up her face.

Laura stared down at her hands, then back up at the scene. Suddenly half the people in the room were on the ground, bleeding. Betty was prone onstage, blood flowing from her neck, LaF and Perry’s body’s were lifeless at the table where moments before they had been animated and in love.

“Listen to your vampire, Hollis, _go,_ ” Danny appeared as if from nowhere, whispering in her ear.

“We cannot keep cleaning up her messes!” she heard a familiar voice say. _JP._ “She’s out of control!”

A growl formed in Carmilla’s throat that Laura felt in her own.

“Wh-what’s happening?” Laura was sputtering as Carmilla pulled her away from the scene.

* * *

Laura awoke to a crushing pain in her chest. She couldn’t breathe. Tears were beginning to fall from her eyes and the panther at the foot of her bed transformed instantly. Carmilla’s arms were around her in a second, no clothing to mask her scent and Laura lost herself in it.

“Creampuff, what is it, what happened?” the vampire asked softly. Laura couldn’t form words. “Okay, okay, it’s okay, it was a dream,”

“S-so real,” Laura cried. “So many people hurt. I hurt them. Carm I didn’t mean to…”

“It was a dream, Laura, just a dream,” Carmilla cooed as she rocked Laura back and forth in her arms. Laura struggled to pull air into her lungs. Carmilla seemed to be huffing, too, even though the vampire didn’t need to breathe.

_She must be feeling what I’m feeling._

“Let it out, baby, shhh, let it out,” Carmilla whispered, simply existing in the moment with Laura. The blonde was grateful just to sit in her baby vamp’s arms and cry. The weight of the dream was crushing, the guilt cascading through her like a torrent.

“Oh gods, she’s gonna, she’s gonna make me hurt them. I don’t want to hurt them…” Laura was fully sobbing, wailing into the darkness as if her words alone could fend away what she was sure her future would now hold. “I’m hungry, Carm, so hungry…”

Carmilla’s weight was off her in less than a second and she heard cabinets flying open in the kitchen, Carmilla’s swearing echoing from down the hall. Laura wailed at the loss of the thing that had been tethering her to sanity: her vampire’s arms.

The brunette was gone ten seconds at most, then back and holding the journalist tightly.

“We don’t have anything, but I have some of LaF’s stuff. Can you take that for me?” She held a small vial to Laura’s mouth and the blonde drank, some of it dribbling down her chin as her body shook. “Okay, shhh, there you go, there you go, okay…” Carmilla was quietly chanting, a soothing hand rubbing along the journalist’s back. Laura’s body began to relax. Her adrenaline was pumping, sure, but her lungs were suddenly able to grasp the air she needed.

“P-p-park…” Laura whispered.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, cupcake, we have a fight tonight. Need you at your full strength,” Carmilla said.

“Please? Carm, I need to do something. I can-“ Laura hiccupped. “Can’t go back to sleep."

* * *

They sparred in the park until the sun began to peek over the horizon. Laura’s body was finally starting to come down from its high and she began to grow just slightly more sluggish.

Carmilla’s fist collided with her face.

“Shit! Cupcake, I’m sorry,” Carmilla said, jumping forward to make sure the blonde was okay.

“S’okay,” Laura said, turning back and taking stance. “Again.”

They fought a few more minutes and Carmilla got another good punch in, this time in Laura’s ribs.

“Laura…”

“Again,” Laura wheezed, standing up straighter. Again they sparred. Laura got a good kick in before Carmilla took her feet out from under her. She hit the ground with a resounding “thud”. She stood up.

“Again,” she said, her resolve faltering just slightly.

“ _Laura,_ ” Carmilla sighed more harshly than before.

 _“AGAIN!”_ Laura shouted. She felt her vampire fear to obey, but did it nonetheless.

The blonde could sense herself coming apart at the seams, the weight of everything that had happened to her breaking and cracking, pulling her down into darkness.

 _Block, block, jab, block, ow, block, cross, cross, kick…_ Laura’s mind was on nothing but the fight in front of her. Carmilla got her in the nose and then in the jaw with a ferocious uppercut. Laura once again fell to the earth.

“Enough, I’m done,” Carmilla said, throwing her hands up. Laura stood, blood flowing from her nose and mouth.

“Again,” she said.

“I’m _done,_ ” Carmilla spat.

“I HAD A DREAM THAT I HURT PEOPLE AND LIKED IT!” Laura shouted before she could stop herself. “Fists up, Carmilla.  _AGAIN!”_ Laura barely realized the wetness on her face wasn’t from blood alone, but now from tears.  _I should be punished._

Carmilla’s face fell as quickly as Laura’s body did to her knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good gods will our girls just ever get a second of peace... I'm so mean.


	23. Round Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Round two of the Karnstein/Hollis Black Box fight. Then Carmilla and Laura get to actually have a date together. It's not a perfect date, but at least they get fifteen seconds to not cry on each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of angst here, and a little bit of fluff. Some moving forward of the plot and where we're going with this story and what Lilita may be doing and where.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.
> 
> As always, your comments, reads, and kudos bring me great joy. I know this story is funky, but I'm having a great time with it and hope you are, too.

* * *

The night was unusually hot for spring, but that’s not why the arena was humid. No, it was the people that had showed up for the second round of the Karnstein/Hollis fight. Laura hadn’t even realized how heated people had gotten after the last one. Why would she? She was busy trying to survive, loving her girlfriend and, well, being a _Shadow._

She and Carm were neck and neck. The fight had been brutal. The two women refused to hold back, despite the fact that mere hours before they had been cuddling in bed with the tiny journalist weeping in her babyvamp’s arms, telling her all about the dream she’d had, the people she’d hurt, the fear that Lilita would make her do it in her waking hours. But none of that mattered now. All that mattered was the last round of the fight.

The audience had clearly never expected it to get this far. Maybe they thought Carm would bite her again, or that one of them would refuse to fight (apparently the tabloids had been _all over_ the “Sparring Lovers” since their first round in the ring), or maybe some of them thought Laura would knock the vampire out cold in round one. Whatever it was, the arena was _blazing._

Laura and her baby vamp were on fire, too, despite both of them sporting some gnarly gashes that were already starting to bruise.

They kept winking at one another from across the ring every time a round ended. It was like none of the night before or earlier that day had ever happened, and Laura couldn’t be more grateful for that. She didn’t want her vampire to go easy. She _craved_ the fight.

Laura’s adrenaline flooded her veins as they stepped back into the middle of the ring for the final round. Danny was standing off to the side with Lilita… and Lilita was clearly favoring Laura. The blonde felt it in her chest, and felt Carmilla’s mild disappointment in her belly. They would talk about that later, if the vampire wanted. But now… now was all that mattered. LaF, Kirsch, and JP were in her corner. Mattie, Will, and someone Laura had never laid eyes on before were in Carm’s. But all the blonde could see was Carmilla.

Laura’s adrenaline made her step closer to the vampire than she should have in prep for the last round. As the countdown began, the blonde stepped forward and took her girlfriend’s face in a ferocious, sloppy kiss. The journalist felt the brunette swell. The crowd erupted in violent cheers. Then they separated, focused on only one another for the ultimate spar.

Carmilla winked at her surreptitiously. Laura shook her head: _don’t you dare hold back._ The vampire dropped her head in meditation and the moment they were given the go ahead, she _charged._

_Block, block, block, fuck Carm, block, kick block, holy shit what’s happening, deflect, block, push, whoa…_

Suddenly Laura felt a surge of power in her chest. She knew Lilita was giving her _something,_ some kind of unspoken power.

Before Laura could even take it in, Carmilla was pinned beneath her and the ref was calling the match.

_Holy Hufflepuff._

Laura had won.

The amount of pride in her chest was nothing like she’d ever felt. Lilita was _beside_ herself that Laura was victorious. At the same time, Laura herself felt _disgusted_ at the joy she felt for winning and the fact that she’d obviously beaten Carmilla to a pulp in order to do it, and didn’t even realize it was happening. But a low hum in her lower abdomen told her that her vampire was proud of her, too. And not because the brunette had let the journalist win. No. But because _Laura_ had won. Only the tiny journalist wasn’t sure she had been the one winning.

The look on Carmilla’s face as the blonde let her up was all the prize Laura needed. The crowd seemed to melt away.

Her baby vamp took her in her arms and kissed her. _Hard._ Not out of any sort of show stopping moment, in fact neither of them could have given a care one way or another about anyone in the audience.

“You are _stunning,_ cupcake,” Carmilla whispered as they parted.

“Nothing compared to you,” Laura said, loudly enough for only the brunette to hear, their foreheads pushed together, lost in each other.

“How did I get so lucky?” Carmilla whispered.

“Not luck, Carm,” the journalist sighed. “If only you could see yourself the way I see you.”

Laura could sense Carmilla’s whimper, the vampire’s love nearly bursting forth from underneath her skin.

* * *

Danny was carefully tending to Laura’s wounds in the locker room minutes later.

“Masterful, darling, you were truly a sight to see,” Lilita said, and each word filled Laura to the brim with pride. Her stomach contracted under the weight of hating feeling that way, and hating Carmilla having to listen to it. They were, again, in the same locker room.

The vampire growled.

“Don’t be a sore loser, Mircalla, she was sensational,” Lilita said.

“Not why I’m growling, _Mother,_ ” Carmilla bit.

“Danielle, really, this is unnecessary, she could feed and be healed by the morning,” Lilita said, leaning down over the redhead who was cleaning the blood off Laura’s face. “Besides, we have photos to take next week and I won’t have her face _bruised,_ ” Lilita sighed with distinct disdain. “Here, darling,” she said as she lifted her wrist to her mouth. She was promptly shoved out the way. Stumbling back on her heels, Laura saw her face shift into a ferocious snarl.

Carmilla now stood where Lilita had, her wrist ready for Laura.

“ _Mine,_ ” Carmilla snarled.

“Carm, take it easy,” Laura whispered, standing, placing a soothing hand on her baby vamp’s arm.

“I’ll not have her _feeding you_ ,” Carmilla said, her eyes unmoving from Lilita’s, whose were growing yellow.

“Step away from our pet, darling,” Lilita cooed, stepping forward toward Laura and the brunette. Laura took Carmilla’s arm protectively. Tension was building in the room to a tipping point, and Laura couldn’t be sure who would snap first. Truthfully, she wasn’t sure it wasn’t going to be her. She took a deep breath to try and focus her energy on keeping the peace. She knew what might do the trick.

“Don’t take her away from me, Lilita, please,” Laura pleaded, both playing Lilita for all she was worth while also feeling the truth in every word she spoke.

After a moment, Lilita’s eyes softened, and the CEO sighed.

“Perhaps you’re right, dear. This is your night, after all.” She straightened her dress and brushed a stray hair out of her eyes. “I made a reservation for the two of you at _Ostra._ William will come by your apartment at 9:30 to pick you up. A late dinner and drinks, hm? Dancing?” Lilita said, stepping forward and placing a hand on Laura’s cheek, stroking. “Come, Danielle, let us leave the two lovebirds to their clean-up.” Lilita snapped a finger and walked across the room. Danny stood and reached over to squeeze Laura’s hand.

“If you’re sore or need anything, call me,” she whispered in Laura’s ear.

“ _Danielle._ You know I do not wish to ask twice.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Danny said, walking to the the CEO across the room. They left and closed the door behind them.

The tension in Laura’s abdomen dwindled as she felt Carmilla become less tense without Lilita in the room with them.

“I’m sorry, cupcake, I can’t help myself,” she said, not looking at Laura.

“Never apologize for standing up to her, Carm, _never,_ ” Laura said, tipping the brunette’s chin up so that their eyes met. She placed a small kiss on her baby vamp’s lips.

“Mmm…” Carmilla hummed, pulling away after a few seconds. “If I’m not mistaken, I believe my mother got us reservations at the most expensive restaurant in the city.”

“I’ve never been to _Ostra,_ ” Laura said, blushing a bit.

“It’s divine, creampuff. And obscenely overpriced. And if I know Mother, she’s put her card down for us. Shall we rack up a bill for her?”

“You. Are. Evil,” Laura said, pulling her vampire close.

“Vampire,” the brunette said, lifting an eyebrow before bringing her lips together with Laura’s.

Following some photos that Mel _insisted_ they take, Laura and Carmilla parted ways (“I’m picking you up like it’s a real date, creampuff. I’m going to sweep you off your feet.” “Oh, really?” “Mmmhmmm. Be ready at 9:15.”)

Laura in her infinite anxiety was ready at 9. She stared at herself in the mirror, laughing at the contrast between the fancy outfit she wore and the bruises forming on her face. She was able to cover some of it with a layer of make-up, but the cuts were fresh and impossible to hide. Upon closer inspection, she could see that the skin was already fusing to come back together. Being a Shadow must’ve meant that while she didn’t heal immediately, she would heal faster now than she did when she was human.

Her dress hugged her curves, the faint outline of her abs visible beneath the thin fabric of the outfit. The color of fresh cream, it was a beautiful contrast to the natural tan of her skin. It was going to be nice having a date night with her baby vamp. The last twenty-four hours had been a whirlwind.

* * *

Carmilla had all but carried Laura back to the blonde’s apartment after she had her breakdown in the park. She’d sat on Laura’s bed with the tiny journalist cradled in her arms, rocking her back and forth and singing to her until she finally fell asleep.

Laura had slept most of the morning away, and Carmilla had let her. When she woke up sometime after 11, it was to the smell of fresh coffee. She and her baby vamp had sat in silence while an episode of some baking show played quietly in the background. Carmilla was actively subduing Laura’s emotions, casting the blanket she’d become so good at over the journalist to calm her until she was ready to talk.

It was close to 1 PM when Laura could finally make words.

“I’m scared, Carmilla,” she squeaked out. “You see me around Lilita sometimes. …Sometimes something takes hold of me and I can’t control myself. What if she… what if she uses that? I could never forgive myself.”

“Creampuff…” Carmilla began.

“And it felt good. I felt alive. I could hear everyone’s blood pumping, their fear igniting me, and Lilita was so _proud,_ ” Laura was shaking her head, her body shivering. “I just wanted more and more, I _needed_ her to be happier with me, I needed more of everything in that room… gods, LaF and Perry, Betty…”

“Laura, no, you’re not going to hurt them.”

“Promise me, Carm. Promise me that if… if something happens, that you’ll…” A crushing tension filled Laura’s abdomen. Carmilla knew what she was asking, and then vampire wasn’t happy about it.

“I’m not going to let that happen, cupcake.”

“I won’t turn into a monster, Carmilla.”

“And how exactly would you expect me to explain to your father that I…?” She couldn’t finish the sentence. “How exactly would I live the rest of my wretched days without you?” Carmilla stood, unable to look Laura in the eye. The grief of the thought was heavy in Laura’s lower abs.

“We won’t get through this without sacrifices,” the blonde said softly.

“I won’t sacrifice _you_ ,” Carmilla said just as quietly.

“We have to be better than she is, Carm. We don’t have the luxury of losing ourselves because one of us gets hurt or killed. Look at me,” Laura coaxed, and after a moment, her baby vamp complied, red tears brimming in her eyes.

“We’re not talking about you getting killed, cupcake, we’re talking about me killing you.”

Laura’s hand cupped the vampire’s cheek, forcing her eyes to look at the journalist’s.

“I have never been better than when I’m with you,” Laura said, a bittersweet smile on her face. A tear fell onto Carmilla’s cheek. “You make me better. If I lose myself to this, Carm, I trust you and only you to let me go before I become my worst.”

Carmilla looked away from Laura again.

“Carmilla, please. _Please.”_

“I’m not strong enough,” the vampire whimpered.

“That’s just silly.” Laura wiped the tears on her baby vamp’s cheeks away. “After everything you’ve been through, you’re the strongest person I know. I love you, Carmilla Karnstein. Do not let me become something that forgets that.”

That statement shifted Carmilla’s feelings from sorrow to fire. Laura’s whole torso lit up with it. The vampire’s gaze met hers once more and she nodded.

“Thank you,” Laura whispered in relief, offering Carmilla a soft kiss on the lips.

* * *

The buzz of her apartment’s front doorbell pulled Laura from her memoryof earlier in the day. Grabbing her purse, she closed her door behind her and headed down to meet her girlfriend for a proper date night.

The sight of the vampire took her breath away as she opened the door to greet her. A tight black dress, sheer and lace over her breastbone and along the sides of her waist, and solid black everywhere else. Blood red lipstick, blood red heels. Laura could feel her cheeks burn, blushing just based on how good Carmilla looked in that outfit.

“Carm, you look incredible.”

“Oh, cupcake, if I had a heartbeat, the way you look would have promptly stopped it,” the vampire said, offering an arm out to the tiny journalist.

They strode over to the town car and Carmilla opened the door for Laura, and the blonde climbed in. There was champagne chilling in the back. The other door opened for Carmilla to get in, but the vampire led with one arm holding out a small box.

“Carmilla, wh-what is this?” Laura said, feeling the swell of emotion in her lower chest from whatever Carmilla was giving her.

Her fingers trembled as she pulled open the top: inside lay a small silver locket shaped like a diamond. Tiny, intricate designs were carved upon it, and while it glistened and had clearly been well taken care of, Laura could tell it was quite old. Her fingers danced across its surface.

“Oh, Carm…” the journalist said reverently. “This is gorgeous.”

“It was my mother’s, my real mother’s,” Carmilla said, reaching to take it from the box.

“Carmilla—” Laura began, a hint of protestation in her voice.

“I want you to have it, Laura. It’s always brought me a sense of peace, I feel grounded when I wear it. I want it to do that for you,” Carmilla said as she locked it around the blonde’s neck.

“Thank you,” Laura whispered.

“Anything for you,” Carmilla replied, kissing the chain that now lay across Laura’s collarbone.

“I feel so stupid, I didn’t get anything for you,” the jouralist said, blushing.

“Yes you did,” the vampire whispered, taking Laura’s hand in hers.

Once at the restaurant, the small booth in which the couple was seated was stashed away in a corner by a window where they could look out onto the serene night street. Laura climbed in first, then Carmilla, and they met in the center of the booth’s half-circle. Carmilla ordered them a bottle of some ridiculously expensive wine (not without consulting Laura on what she wanted, of course), and the server had given the two women a bit of the once over when she’d first introduced herself. She apparently wasn’t used to seeing slightly bruised patrons.

“We’re boxers,” Carmilla had said cooly. “But surely your boss wouldn’t like it if we told them you stared with your mouth gaping at two lovely customers, hmm?” The server had promptly changed her tune. When she stepped away, Laura’s eyes met her baby vamp’s, an odd feeling in her chest. Carmilla had… well she had almost sounded like Lilita there.

“What is it, cupcake?” Carmilla asked, taking a sip of the water in front of her.

 _Gods she even makes drinking look sexy,_ Laura thought.

“You just… never mind,” Laura said.

“No, what is it? Tell me. You look uncomfortable.”

“YoujustkindofsoundedlikeLilitathereforasecond,” Laura said quickly, the entire sentence coming out as one word. The journalist was afraid Carmilla would balk at the statement, or retreat into herself. Instead, the vampire laughed a low laugh.

“Well, can’t get rid of her everywhere in my life, it seems,” she said, shrugging.

“Do you remember your parents, Carm?” Laura asked a few minutes later, after their wine had arrived and been poured for them.

“I do, a bit. Why, creampuff?” Carmilla asked, bringing her glass to her lips and drinking.

“I just want to know about them. About you. I feel like we’ve missed so much of the ‘getting to know you’ phase and jumped right into the ‘fighting for the souls of all humanity’ phase.”

“Oh, is that a phase? Does everyone go through that phase?” Carmilla said, her snark showing, an eyebrow cocked. Laura’s sheepish smile crawled up her lips, a red flush in her cheeks. “My parents were wonderful, and so very much in love,” Carmilla began.

The women traded stories back and forth, Laura about her mother, her father, her crusades as a child (someone stealing from the candygram fund, or the time she started a protest when she was nine because she didn’t like the term “throw like a girl)… and what she went through in high school with bullying and coming out and losing her mom.

Carmilla talked about her parents and what she could remember from the cabin when she was a child, playing in the backyard or sneaking out of bed after she’d been put there to spy on her parent’s dancing under the stars. Carmilla had never much been interested in school, though she’d been quite good at it. She was more interested in theories of things and not always the hard facts she could read in books. It lead to problems in the classroom, arguments with teachers, it didn’t help that she moved foster homes and schools a number of times before ending up at Lilita’s.

“She would tell me I had to atone for my mistakes, that she was going to clean me up,” Carmilla was in the middle of talking about what prompted Lilita to stop seeing Carmilla as a favorite and start abusing her, and while her tone was even, Laura could feel the weight of everything Lilita had done building in her stomach. “I didn’t mean for what happened to Victor to happen, or Mattie. But that doesn’t matter, they did.” Laura reached over and took her vampire’s hand. “Eventually she shipped me off to college. She had significant pull at Silas, so she thought she could keep me in li—”

“Silas? You went to Silas?!” Laura asked, shocked.

“I did. Where did you go?” Carmilla asked, clearly not understanding why Laura was so shocked.

“ _I_ went to Silas!”

“Well fancy that,” the vampire said, taking another sip of wine.

“What do you mean, Lilita has pull there?”

“She’s on the board. She gives loads of money to the school. She’s practically the dean, without actually having the title or having to be there day to day. She’s speaking at that big fundraising alumni event in a few months,” Carmilla said as if that was nothing. But Laura’s heart dropped into her stomach. She knew Carmilla could feel it, because her baby vamp’s eyes met hers. “Laura?”

“Wh-what alumni event in a few months?”

“The annual alumni event. They throw it in the Lustig. You must have gotten an invitation, I got one last week.”

“I’ve been a little preoccupied, Carmilla.”

“Cupcake you’re scaring me, I can feel you, you’re all over the place, what is it?” Carmilla squeezed the blonde’s hand.

“That dream I had? You were there, me, LaF, Perry, Betty, Danny, Kirsch…”

“I know, Laura. What is it?”

“It was at a Silas alumni event. And Lilita was there. Carm, what if it wasn’t a dream? What if it was a premonition? What if Lilita’s going to do something at Silas?”

 _And what if she makes_ **_me_ ** _do something at Silas?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	24. Until the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and her baby vamp have some fluffy but emotional times at dinner. Carm may talk with one Sherman Hollis. And our tiny journalist makes a tough decision about where to live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad you're still with me.
> 
> I hope you're still enjoying. The numbers of reads are still high, so I know y'all are still coming. Your comments help me know what you're into/not into. Your kudos give me smiles. And your read numbers make me feel all warm and fuzzy. We are coming to the climax and hopefully the end of this particular tale within the next 7-10 chapters (unless something insane happens in this story, which I don't expect), so I'm forever grateful for you all coming on this journey with me. I never understood the awesome community I could come into in fanfic until doing this, and it's overwhelming.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

Laura’s skin was buzzing, the sounds from the restaurant around them growing muffled. The only thing she could think to do was to reach into her purse and take her phone out. She sifted through her emails, she hadn’t read many of late unless they were from work or her dad.

There one was from 5 or so days ago. An invitation to the Annual Silas Alumni Ball in August with _Special Guest Speaker, CEO of Morgan International Industries, Lilita Morgan._ Laura’s stomach dropped into her feet. Instinctively she found her fingers clinging to the locket around her neck and she didn’t know why. Th charm filled her with a sense of comfort. Maybe it was just because Carmilla had said it would, or maybe it was that her baby vamp had given it to her. Whatever it was, Laura was happy for it.

“Laura?” Carmilla’s voice cut through the blonde’s reverie. “What can I do?”

The journalist scooted closer to her girlfriend, resting her head on Carmilla’s shoulder and nuzzling closer to the nook of her neck.

“Sit here with me,” Laura all but whimpered. Her abs contracted under Carmilla’s emotions.

“Sweetheart, was is it?” the vampire asked.

“Sometimes I’m so hard on you, Carm. I forget what you’ve been through,” Laura began, and the brunette’s face fell. “I’m so proud of you.”

The vampire blushed.

“Laura, please, no—” Carmilla began.

“I’m not going to stop. The way you fight. The way you look at me… Carm no one looks at me like that. No one should,” Laura croaked.

“Oh, baby, _everyone_ should,” Carmilla whispered, looking at Laura as if she was the most holy thing the vampire had ever seen.

“Will you… will you tell me it’s going to be okay? Lie for tonight if you have to,” Laura said, suddenly weary from her day, as if her fatigue was hitting her all at once.

“It _is_ going to be okay, creampuff, I promise,” Carmilla whispered, stroking her finger’s through the blonde’s hair soothingly. When the server returned to take their dinner orders, Carmilla asked to have the wine corked to go, along with two desserts. Laura didn't even have to ask to go. Her girlfriend just  _knew._

The brunette left a sizable tip when the bottle and packed-up sweets came back to them, and then she slowly slid out of the booth, helping Laura out behind her.

“I ruined our date night…” Laura mused, beginning to yawn.

“You ruined nothing,” Carmilla whispered, her lips close to Laura’s ear. “Any night I spend with you is a night to cherish.” The vampire picked up the bottle and placed it in the bag, wrapping her free arm around the journalist’s waist.

“Can we go to yours, Carm? Your bed is so big and I can stretch out everywhere without pushing you out,” Laura said, scrunching up her nose. Carmilla chuckled.

“Whatever you want, creampuff.”

“Mmm, thank you,” Laura said, yawning again, resting her tired head on Carmilla’s shoulder as they waited for their car out front. The tiny journalist was growing steadily sleepier, her eyes becoming heavier by the second. The town car pulled up to them and Carmilla helped the blonde inside. As soon as they were both sitting, Laura’s head was upon her baby vamp’s shoulder once more as Carmilla was asking Will to drive to her apartment.

“Carm?” Laura said as she fought to keep her eyes open.

“Hmm?” her vampire hummed in answer.

“Can all the nights be like this?”

“All what nights?”

“Our nights. Without the Lilita stuff. But the wine and the talking and you and me and… just you and me…” she was starting to trail off in her exhaustion.

“I’ll see what I can do, creampuff, okay?” Carmilla said, a small smile playing on her lips.

“Yeah. Me too,” Laura trailed off, and they were her last words before she slipped into sleep.

* * *

Somehow she slept without nightmares of Silas and killing and Lilita. Her mind was filled with fluffy images of her and Carmilla growing old together. Kids and grandkids and trips to the beach, or traveling to Europe. If cameras had been watching her as she slept, all they would have caught were smiles. It was a new and needed experience for the blonde. Laura hadn’t had such a soothing night’s sleep for many, many years. But such things can sometimes only exist in the confines of one’s own reverie…

For the next morning, Laura awoke to a flurry of texts from Betty.

 

        Betts: _L! Are you okay? Your fight last night was_ ** _legendary._** _It’s_ ** _everywhere._**

        Betts: _I need your story from last night like… last night._

        Betts: _Write me up something we can run today?_

 

Laura yawned, stretching out. She didn’t remember how she got into Carmilla’s bed the night before. She remembered asking to come here… but nothing after. Her baby vamp must have carried her from the car to the bed and changed her into pajamas.

 _Best of wives and best of women,_ Laura thought. But this time it didn’t freak her out.

Her phone buzzed again and Carmilla groaned beside her, not fully waking but not happy to be disturbed.

        Betts: _If you’re up to it. I know the last fight was… taxing, to say the least._

Laura gave her baby vamp a small kiss on the forehead, and though the brunette wasn’t awake, she still sighed happily and snuggled into it.

After a minute, the journalist got up and crept downstairs quietly, eager to make a pot of coffee and write an article on the night before.

Laura didn’t have her laptop on her, but she’d written enough on her phone to know she could manage to bang out a small article through thumbs and glass.

 

**_This Ain’t Your Mama’s Fight_ **

_If you’ve never boxed before, you may not know the transcendent pleasure of hearing your blood pounding in your ears, the swell of the crowd, the support of your corner… if you_ **_have_ ** _boxed but never against your lover before, you may not know the twitch of their lips as you exit a round, the wink they give you beneath a bloody eyebrow, or the electricity of the kiss after one of you has won. I’m lucky enough to know each and every one of these things, intimately._

_My father will surely have a conniption when he finds out that I was in the ring again so soon after the what was the Karinstein/Hollis first fight. After all, I promised I’d take a break from it all. But I’ll tell you, it’s nearly impossible to stay away from the ring once you’ve been in. It’s spiritual. It’s heavenly. It’s_ **_vital._ **

 

Carm’s coffee maker spurted the last of the liquid caffeine into the pot and Laura smirked at herself. She had made coffee. She frowned and squinted her eyes… _Hope I didn’t burn it._

Turned out she didn’t. But that was thanks to the maker, not to the tiny, mighty boxer.

She went back to working on her story, diligently typing and lost in the world of her imagination.

 

_I know you’re all curious about the “Sparring Lovers”. I know what the tabloids way, what the whispers say, and I know what I feel. These don’t always match up._

_When Carmilla Karnstein and I first fought, it was not in the ring. This may be shocking. Carmilla Karnstein and I first sparred the night she was turned. It is no shock to anyone reading this that Carmilla is, in fact, a vampire. I know you all know this, I see the articles, the tweets, I know what you all say about her. And you are wrong._

_Carmilla Karnstein is kind, and anxious, and both the best girlfriend_ **_and_ ** _the hardest opponent I’ve ever faced. She is a_ **_Hell_ ** _of a fighter._

 

Laura heard pacing upstairs and her baby vamp’s voice traveling down. Carmilla sounded like she was in the middle of a conversation.

_How long has she been awake?_

“Yes. Yes, sir.”

_Sir?_

“I will,” the brunette continued. “I’ll do that, too, sir. I promise. You and me both. Good-bye.”

Carmilla stopped talking and after a few seconds started down the stairs. It was a sight Laura wanted to see every day for the rest of her life. Messy hair, morning smile, languid gate… _Gods Hollis, if you’re not the gayest gay to ever gay…_

“Morning, creampuff,” the vampire hummed, giving the blonde a slow, lithe kiss. Laura felt herself melt into her girlfriend, her lips smiling against Carmilla’s.

“Who were you talking to?” Laura asked when they parted.

“I’ll tell ya, cupcake, your dad drives a hard bargain. I think I’m more scared of him than Lilita,” her baby vamp mused, shuffling around the kitchen to get a mug for her coffee.

“My _dad?_ You were talking to my dad?” Laura asked.

“Sure was. For almost twenty minutes. I greeted him as Mr. Hollis when I picked up,” Carmilla said, surprised. “You really must have been lost in whatever you were doing, sweetheart.”

“Guess so. What did he want?”

“To chastise me for luring you back into the ring.”

“Oh, Carm, I’m sorry.” Laura shook her head. Of _course_ her dad was freaking out about her. And _of course_ he was calling her girlfriend. It didn’t matter what gender she liked, her dad was always going to threaten them with everything inside him.

“Don’t be. He’s your dad. He’s worried about you.”

“And you? Are you worried about me?” Laura asked, tentative.

Carmilla looked away and took a breath.

_Well that can’t be good._

“I’m always worried about you, cupcake,” Carmilla said, shaking her head. Then she met the blonde’s eyes. “And somehow I’m also never worried about you.”

Laura didn’t quite know what to make of that.

_What does_ **_that_ ** _mean?_

The journalist decided against pursuing any answer further and instead changed the subject to something she had been thinking about since the night at Lilita’s. It was an idea that popped into her brain while she was sitting on the woman’s back patio but didn’t dare let herself ruminate on it too long. But now it was time to share. The Silas event was coming closer… the Black Box fight was over… but the big fight had yet to come. And Laura wasn’t going to wait until it was knocking on her door to do something.

“I’ve been thinking, Carm,” the tiny journalist began.

“Shocking,” the vampire said, her signature sarcasm thick on her tongue. Laura rolled her eyes.

“I’m serious,” the blonde said, and Carmilla sobered, waiting for her girlfriend to continue. “I think I should go and stay with Lilita for awhile.”

Laura’s baby vamp grew still as a statue for a fraction of a second. A crushing weight filled Laura’s abdomen.

Carmilla took a long sip from her coffee mug and then placed it softly on the counter. Her hands clenched in and out of fists for a moment. Her forehead crinkled.

Tension was moving from Laura’s lower abs up into her chest. Her baby vamp’s emotions were creeping in everywhere. There was anxiety, fear, anger, jealousy, but nothing was bigger than the sense of  _agreement._

Yes, the vampire thought Laura was _right._ The journalist didn’t even need to hear her baby vamp say it. She would, however, wait until she did. Neither of them was used to this whole sharing emotions thing, and it felt rude to take Carmilla’s feelings from her. The blonde waited patiently.

“That’s what Mattie said,” Carmilla said finally, her voice tight.

“Really?” Laura asked, shocked that this wasn’t the first time Carm had heard this idea.

“Yes,” the vampire began. “She thinks having you and Lilita under the same roof would be good for you. You could learn about her, what she’s planning to do at Silas. It’s… it’s kind of why we planted Danny there, creampuff.” Carmilla’s eyes didn’t meet hers. Laura felt her girlfriend’s guilt flare.

“Carmilla,” Laura said quietly, but her baby vamp didn’t look up. “Carm, look at me, please?” The brunette looked up. “I was angry you didn’t tell me about Danny, yes, but you did what you thought was right at the time. You did what you thought was best for me. It wasn’t, but I can’t blame you for thinking it.” Laura smiled, and Carmilla softened. “I don’t ever want you to be ashamed. I love you, Carm. I love your heart - don’t care that it’s not beating.” She stood from the stool and inched closer to her baby vamp. “I love your bruises and your cleanliness and your mess. We’re messy. I’m messy. But I don’t want to be messy with anyone but you.” She linked her fingers with Carmilla’s. A sense of relief flooded her veins as Carmilla sighed.

“Whatever happens next, we’re gonna do it together,” the vampire said, staring down at their hands.

* * *

Three days later, Laura was standing on Lilita’s doorstep. They were doing photos for her articles the following day. They had a whole plan on how to convince Lilita to get Laura to stay with her, but they didn’t even need it. Two days ago Lilita had called on Laura, and had asked the girl to come live with her.

At first, Mattie and Carmilla thought it was a rouse. That the woman had known what they were planning and was trying to circumvent it. But after Laura met with her, she said she couldn’t sense a false emotion in the CEO’s body. Lilita craved Laura to be near her. And, truth be told, Laura craved to be near her other Sire. Much as she hated to admit it.

Danny opened the door upon Laura’s knock, and the look in her eyes was one of empathy, of understanding. The redhead looked exhausted, like Lilita had been running her ragged. Her naturally thin frame looked ten pounds thinner than she had when Laura had seen her just shy of a week before. They shared a glance, saying everything they couldn’t say aloud.

“Danny, if you need anything…”

“I’m fine, Laur. I’m here. For as long as I can hold you up, right?”

“And how long will that be? Look at you.” Laura's eyes ran up and down Danny's body.

“Elvira’s snark rubbing off on you?” Danny scoffed, but there was a warmth underneath.

“I’m serious, Danny," Laura said, doing everything she could to get through to her friend. Danny's eyes softened.

“I know, L. I love you. I’m part of this. Until the end.” The redhead shrugged like it was no big deal. But it was the biggest deal in the world.

“Until the end,” the journalist repeated, smiling.

“My dutiful, delectable darling!” Lilita’s voice assaulted Laura’s ears before the woman came around the corner. Not that it mattered, Laura could feel her _strongly_ from the moment the car was a mile and a half away.

“Lilita,” Laura said, and it came out _far_ more warmly than she would have thought.

“Laura, look at you. My dear daughter has been feeding you properly, I see,” Lilita purred, giving the blonde the once-over.

Laura blushed. She knew she was glowing, that her wounds were healed.

Yes, Carmilla had, in fact, fed her and healed her. But despite the fact that Lilita was Laura’s Shadow Sire, she still didn’t want to _tell_ her girlfriend’s _mother_ after which particular activity Carmilla had healed her. _Some_ things were still sacred. And no one wants to talk to their partner’s parent about their sex life. Laura shivered.

“Oh come now darling, we’ve all done it,” Lilita said, as if reading Laura’s mind. Danny bit back her laughter.

“Lilita, if I may be so bold,” Laura began, already knowing asking for a favor was a lot. But, then again, Lilita favored _her,_ so she was going to milk it for all it was worth.

“You may, pet,” Lilita mused.

“My best friend is proposing to their girlfriend,” Laura began and Danny gasped.

“LaF is proposing to Perry?!” she exclaimed, breaking out of the character she had built in front of Lilita. Both the CEO and Laura glanced over at the redhead. “Oh come on, it’s a big deal,” Danny mumbled.

“That is tremendous, my darling, what do you need?” Lilita whispered, stepping closer to the smaller blonde.

“A few nights next week to plan with them,” Laura said, her eyes on the floor.

“Oh, my beautiful Laura, you may have as much time as you like. You are here of your own volition,” Lilita laughed. “You are here because I wish it, but more because _you_ wish it. You may come and go as you please. You are not my _prisoner_.” Lilita's finger found its way under Laura's chin and pulled it up so the blonde was staring into the CEO's eyes.

“Thank you, my Sire,” Laura said, and found herself surprised at the way the words fell easily from her lips. She hadn’t even meant to say them.

_Head in the game, Hollis. Head in the game._

“There’s my sweet pet,” Lilita said, enveloping Laura in her arms. The smaller journalist _melted_ under the affection, her chest swelling with Lilita’s pride of having her _darling Shadow_ under her roof.

“Follow me,” Lilita said, more an ask than a command. The journalist nodded.

She followed the CEO back to the atrium. Again the other Shadows all sat at tables. The townhome didn’t seem from the outside like it could fit all of them. But, in a world where Shadows and Sires and vampires existed, Laura was sure the magic from Harry Potter existed and that the house was, in fact, much larger inside than it was outside.

 _…The TARDIS…_ Laura thought, and then hated the idea of Lilita having one.

The Shadows stood from their chairs and all bowed their heads to Laura as she appeared at the head of the room. Laura could feel how proud her Sire was of them.

“Yes, darlings, she is your Sovereign. You are not to disturb her when she is in her room. Are we clear?”

“Yes,” the Shadows said in unison. It was chilling to hear all the voices say it together.

“You shall get used to it, my beautiful,” the CEO whispered in Laura’s ear, and the journalist couldn’t help but _enjoy_ having the attention of the Shadows. Like they would do anything for her. It was intoxicating. Moreover, it was terrifying. Two sides of Laura fought for dominance.

Of course Lilita could sense this, and she spoke softly to the blonde.

“Let me show you to your room,” Lilita said, and the blonde shivered. She half expected a room with chains and whips as she followed Lilita toward the stairs, climbing one after the other behind the taller blonde.

When the CEO opened the door to her chambers, Laura found herself shocked. The room was bright and homey. Harry Potter, Buffy, and Veronica Mars art abounded, along with a handful of stuffed animals laying on an  _enormous_ bed with four tall posters surrounding it. A large bathroom laid off to the right — Laura could see the colossal clawfoot tub from the bedroom door. There were candles that were already lit, shining their light across an array of soaps and bath-bombs. There was even a bottle of champagne chilling on the sink counter next to the tub. Lilita had gone _all out._

“I shall leave you to get settled. We eat dinner at 6, though if you do not wish to make an appearance, I shall forgive you,” she said quietly directly into Laura’s neck. The blonde felt her face blush and Lilita’s hot breath on her skin. But it wasn’t until she looked up that she knew what her Sire meant.

Carmilla appeared in the bathroom doorway in that gorgeous silk bathrobe that the journalist loved so much.

“Hi, cupcake,” Carm said, winking. “Welcome home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) thank you so very much for reading.


	25. The Legends of The Lustig

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla discuss a certain person from Carmilla's past that will reappear at Silas, and Laura and Lilita go to A-Z for their day of photos. Laura finds out something about Danny she didn't expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still with me? 
> 
> You guys are the best. So very lovely. Thank you for all your reads and kudos and comments and joy. 
> 
> There is talk of Lilita's abuse of Carm in this chapter, which goes even deeper than what we've seen before. There's some angst, drama, and depression. So if that's not your thing... well then I'm shocked if you're still reading this because this little fic is rather angsty. Laura gets to be a fluffy little caretaker, though.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

“Carm!” Laura said as she closed the door to her new room behind her. “What are you doing here?”

“You didn’t think I was going to leave you here to fend for yourself _all_ the time, did you?” Carmilla asked, leaning against the doorframe and playing with the tie on her robe. “Mother may dislike me, but she _adores_ you. And you adore me,” the vampire continued, pushing herself off the wall and giving Laura a quirked eyebrow.

“So humble,” Laura scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“I only speak the truth.”

“Mmm, indeed you do,” the blonde said, rolling her suitcase over to the bed and parking it, then dropping her bag onto the covers.

“I’ve spoken with Mattie.” Carmilla’s tone shifted into the business voice she got when they were talking about something serious. “She says Lilita plans on bringing the Shadows with her to Silas for the Alumni Event. Not shocking, we all saw that coming. But it does mean that we were right and that she plans on doing something there.” Laura’s baby vamp grabbed the journalist’s suitcase and rolled it over next to a long mahogany dresser. “She’s traveling to Silas this week to take a peek in the basement of The Lustig. Don’t know if you ever went down there when you were there, but there’s some… interesting stuff down there.”

“Interesting how?”

“Rooms that seem to move. Rituals carved into stone. Don’t tell me you never heard the stories of The Lustig while you were at Silas.”

“Oh no, I heard them all. LaF and I tried to convince Perry once to come spend the night with us in the basement for a project I was doing. She ended up coming halfway into the night to check up on us and bring us brownies. Not too much happened, we did get some cool stuff on tape, though.” Laura sat herself onto the bed. Oh my, was it _comfortable._ The blonde bounced a few times.

“You look like a five-year-old, creampuff,” Carmilla laughed. Laura loved it when her baby vamp laughed. She lost her sense of intensity, it melted away into a grin she could only imagine was adorable when the brunette was a child and carefree. “What did you get on tape?”

“Some knocks as answers to basic questions, like if someone was there with us, or if they were close to us in age. She even spoke to us once, told us her name. My professor gave us a decent grade but was convinced we had manufactured what was on the tape. I guess that was easier than thinking it was real.” Laura felt a chill rush through her body and down her spine. It was from Carmilla. Laura looked up at her. “Carm, you feel funny. What is it?”

“What was the name?” the vampire asked, her eyes not leaving Laura’s.

“Ell,” the blonde said, and if her baby vamp had to breathe, Laura was sure she would have sucked in a breath and held it.

Carmilla rushed into the bathroom.

“Carm?” Laura asked and hopped off the bed, chasing after her girlfriend. “Carm, what is it?” She stepped through the door and momentarily her vampire’s reaction was forgotten. There were candles _everywhere._ She had only been able to see a few from her room. They lit the bathroom just enough, their dim light flickering off glass and walls and marble. It was enormous, for one thing, like Carmilla’s bathroom at the cabin. The clawfoot tub on one side, a jacuzzi tub on the other, and the shower sandwiched between the two. A long marble counter with a glistening full length wall mirror sat behind two glittering silver spouts with glass bowls beneath them. The toilet was on the opposite side of the clawfoot, in its own small area complete with sliding door.

“Whoa,” Laura said, taking in the room.

“Mattie, I have some new information for you.”

Laura was pulled from her gazing and looked over at Carmilla, who had her phone held to her ear.

“One of the spirits in the basement of The Lustig is Ell. Yes, I’m sure. I thought we had, too, but apparently not. Laura has footage of her from when she went to Silas. Yes, she went to Silas, too, Mattie. Yes I know, not the point. Right. I’ll see if she still has it. Bye.” She hung up the phone.

“Do you still have that footage, cupcake?”

“Uh, the footage of a ghost talking to me? _Of course_ I still have it,” Laura said, walking back into the bedroom with Carmilla in tow. She reached into her bag for her laptop.

“But, um, Carm, who’s Ell?”

Laura felt Carmilla actively trying to hide her emotions, felt her grow confused and cloudy. “Carmilla…”

“I know, cupcake, I know, can you just show me? I’ll tell you after, I promise,” Carmilla said, she was practically panting under the weight of trying to keep herself under control and keep her emotions masked.

Laura gave her the once-over but opened her laptop and sifted through some folders until she came across what she was looking for. She pulled up a video file and hit “play”.

 

_The basement underneath The Lustig was a stone maze of halls and rooms. It looked more like Silas had built the building on top of an age-old labyrinth instead of including it as a basement in its architecture. A 20-year-old Laura sat the camera on something the audience couldn’t see and stepped back to reveal a 21-year-old LaF._

_“So, hunters of the paranormal,” Laura began, an excitement in her voice as she narrated like she was documenting Planet Earth or something. “We’ve already gotten a knock telling us someone is here. LaF thought they had the camera on, but it turned out they didn’t.” Laura shot LaF a look and they blushed sheepishly._

_“The light was on.” LaF shrugged in defense._

_“So we’re doing one knock for yes, and two for no,” Laura continued, rolling her eyes at LaF’s response. “Are you trapped here?” A low, single knock sounded a moment later._

 

Laura looked over at her baby vamp, who’s eyes were glued to the screen of her laptop. On the single knock, the brunette whimpered.

“Carm?” Laura whispered, but her vampire didn’t even move. Laura’s eyes moved back to the screen as she heard herself continue.

 

_“Did something happen to you here?” Another low knock._

_“What’s your name?” LaF exclaimed excitedly, and Laura shot her a glare._

_“LaF, yesses and nos only,” Laura hissed._

_“Oh, right,” LaF said._

_“Ell,” a light female voice echoed. Laura and LaF made no sign that they had heard the name._

 

“We didn’t hear it until we were watching back through,” Laura mused, now just as enthralled as Carmilla was.

“Ell…” Carmilla mused, and it was like her hold on her emotions faltered, and the dam gave way, almost throwing Laura off balance at their power. A guilt so heavy pooled in her lower abdomen.

“Oh, Carm, what happened?” Laura asked, taking her eyes off the video and planting them on Carmilla’s now shaking frame.

“You want to know why I hate Lilita, Laura?” Carmilla asked, and Laura looked at her quizzically.

“Beyond the fact that she locked you up in boxes?”

“Way beyond that.”

“Okay,” Laura said quietly, and sat herself onto the bed, waiting for Carmilla to continue. It took the vampire a moment to straighten up and gather her thoughts. The blonde linked her fingers together in her lap and sat silently.

“Buckle up, creampuff.”

_Oh shit, I know what that means…_

“I met Ell my second week of freshman year,” Carmilla began, her voice quivering. Laura felt a nostalgic swell in her lower chest. “Oh, cupcake, I thought I was _in love_ within the first three days of knowing her. What a naive fool I was.”

“Carmilla…” Laura whispered, reaching toward her baby vamp.

“No, I was,” Carmilla said, a sad smile on her face. “But she was, too. A first love befitting of Tristan and Isolde, of Romeo and Juliet, with an ending much the same. She was my first… well, she was my first _everything,_ Laura,” the vampire continued, locking eyes with the blonde, hoping it wouldn’t scare her away. Hoping beyond hope they were at the point that they could talk about this. Laura’s lips turned up sadly, awaiting more of the story.

“We spent whole weekends locked away in her dorm, and nothing in the outside world mattered. She protected me from Mother when she became too much. Ell silenced the voices in my head that told me I wasn’t enough. But, as she does, Mother couldn’t let me have something that was just _mine,_ that made me happy. I had taken her love. So it was only fair that she took mine.” Carmilla’s eyes became wet with crimson tears. Laura wanted nothing more than to take them away from her, to soothe her until the vampire couldn’t think about the pain anymore. But that wouldn’t deal the past, it would only bury it.

The journalist waited once more for her girlfriend to continue.

“Ell heard of the strange things that happened in the basement of The Lustig. And one of her friends told her that he’d heard about something that was going to be happening down there one night near the end of freshman year,” Carmilla said after gathering herself. “Forgive me for saying it, but she was much like you, my Laura. Curious, capable… never letting anything get in her way. I knew what Lilita was capable of even then… she had already turned Mattie. But I was naive. I was in love. I didn’t put together that Mother would be the one in the basement that night. Laura, it is the greatest regret of my life. Of my death. Of everything.” The tears began to fall, and Laura felt a flood of guilt cascade through her body.

“Carm,” she began. “You can’t be blamed for what Lilita did.”

“That’s not what I blame myself for,” Carmilla said, her voice cracking. “We were there, in that exact room you and LaF are in in the video… and we heard something. Chanting. Ell went running from the room right towards it. I tried to call after her, I tried to tell her to stop, but she didn’t listen.”

“Baby, you can’t blame yourself for-“

“Let me finish,” Carmilla said calmly. Laura obeyed. “I ran after her. There was a group of maybe ten people in red cloaks, all their faces masked, except Lilita. I saw her, smug, standing grand as the day is long. I later found out the guy that told Ell about what was happening last night was a plant from Lilita. She knew we’d come. And Ell was the sacrifice.”

The realization from this hit Laura hard. Her eyes mirrored Carmilla’s, swelling with tears (though Laura’s weren’t made of blood). She knew Lilita was bad news, but this hit home. This hit home like the realization that the woman had abused Carm had.

“Ell fought. Of course she did. Like I said, she was like you, cupcake. Lilita told me to leave, and I did. I did. I left,” Carmilla croaked out, unable to keep herself together anymore. Laura all but leapt across the bed and took her love in her arms.

“Carm, oh, Carm,” the journalist said, pulling her baby vamp in tight. “She commanded you—“

“She didn’t,” Carmilla cried. “She didn’t,” she repeated quietly. “She told me I could fight and lose, or leave the basement right then and there and she wouldn’t punish me. I was so scared, Laura, _so_ _scared_ …” she trailed off, unable to finish.

Laura pulled her closer, wanting to tell her it wasn’t her fault, that she was manipulated from the moment she met Lilita, that Carmilla couldn’t have done anything to save her first love. The journalist was in disbelief that the abuse of Carmilla went so deep.

“I let her take Ell. I let them… gods Laura I let them _sacrifice_ her. And she’s there, she’s still there. Waiting. Waiting to fight. Waiting for me to make the right choice…”

Then it occurred to Laura. No, Carmilla couldn’t save Ell, couldn’t bring her back to life, but maybe there was something the vampire could do.

“So make it,” the blonde said, and her baby vamp looked up at her, red streaks smeared across her face. “Make it now,” Laura reiterated. “Carm, we’re going back there. We’ll be there, in that place. You know you’re not to blame for what happened to her, right?” Silence met Laura’s ears, followed by a low sob. “Carm… it was Lilita and her shitty group of Death Eaters.” Carmilla was silent for a moment.

“Just because I didn’t wield the weapon doesn’t mean I didn’t help in the deed being done,” the vampire whispered.

“You can’t change Ell’s past, but maybe you can help her future. Maybe you can help her be at peace. We’ll find a way to make it right, to set her free.”

The word relief could not fully describe the feelings that flooded Laura’s veins. It was like no on had ever said anything of the sort to Carmilla before. As if the vampire had carried around that night for the last few years like it was entirely her fault.

“Hey, do you want to come with me this week and help LaF plan their proposal? It’ll be nerdy and disgusting and lovey-dovey and all the things you pretend to haaaaate…” Laura cooed, changing tactics to try and coax a smile out of her love. It worked.

Well, a grimace and a grin, at least.

“I think I might like that very much.” Carmilla offered a small smile, and Laura felt her baby vamp soften to her very bones.

“Come on my little baby vamp, let me take care of you,” Laura said, unwrapping herself from Carmilla and pulling the brunette off the bed. She led the way to the bathroom.

“If I’m not mistaken, we have a _huge_ tub, some soaps, and a bottle of champagne we haven’t cracked open yet,” the blonde said as she turned on the faucet to the clawfoot. “And I think you deserve a toast, for being brave, for being noble, for being here with me,” Laura said, squeezing her vampire’s hand. “And for being so much more than you think you are.” She leaned in and gave her girl a kiss on the lips. It was soft and hesitant, Carmilla clearly still a little lost in herself. “Come on, love, you’re safe here with me,” Laura whispered, and pulled her baby vamp into her arms. “I promise.”

* * *

The next morning was a whirlwind of eating breakfast amongst the Shadows. Lilita insisted the blonde eat a healthy meal before the long day of photos for her articles ahead. Betty had already texted her a number of times, excited by the prospect of _meeting Lilita Morgan,_ taking the photos, and getting to release Laura’s juicier articles.

 _Oh if only you know everything about her…_ Laura had thought as she texted Betty back a thumbs up emoji.

Laura was grateful as they climbed into the town car that Lilita had opted to bring Danny with them to the office today. The journalist knew she’d keep the redhead close by most of the time, but Laura was going to do her best to steal her away for awhile so that the woman could breathe. Maybe she could convince Lilita to let her take her old friend out for lunch, just the two of them?

Paparazzi were swarming out front of _A-Z_ when the car pulled up.

“This is the life now, darling, I do hope you’re ready,” Lilita said, painting a smile on her face as she opened the door and the cameras began snapping away. Laura took a breath and shot a look at Danny. The redhead shrugged sympathetically. Laura mustered everything she could as she stepped out, plastering a grin on her face as she walked up next to Lilita and let the woman wrap an arm around her for a few pictures.

The journalist knew the taller woman could feel her feelings and read her mind, so she absolutely wasn’t thinking,

_I can’t wait to drive my fist through your heart and soil your name all over this world._

Nope. She absolutely wasn’t thinking that at all.

The office was bustling more than usual as the three women stepped off the elevator. Gina was immediately there, jumping toward them to take coffee orders and hungry to be of use.

“No coffee for me, darling, it’ll stain my teeth. I would _love_ an English Breakfast tea if you’ve got it. Laura, darling, what about you?” Lilita asked, snaking an arm around Laura’s waist in a far too intimate display of possession.

“I’m fine, Gina, but thank you,” Laura said, nodding and smiling at Betty’s assistant.

“Milk or sugar with your tea, Miss Morgan?”

“Both, my dear, just a splash of each,” Lilita said, giving the girl a smile that Laura could tell made her go weak in the knees.

“Laura! Miss Morgan! So happy to have you both here!” Betty’s exclamation echoed down the hall as she appeared, bubbly and bright as the day Laura first met her at Silas. “I’m Betty.”

“Oh Miss Spielsdorf, you flatter. The pleasure is all ours, surely,” the CEO gleamed, leaning down to offer Betty a small kiss on each of her cheeks.

 _Gods she’s effing good,_ Laura thought, and she could have _sworn_ the woman’s grip on her tightened ever so.

“May I use the bathroom, Miss Morgan?” Danny asked, and Laura frowned guiltily. She hadn’t noticed her friend bouncing just slightly back and forth. She must have needed to go _badly._

 _Good Gandalf, she makes them_ **_ask to pee_ ** _?_

“Danielle, my dearest, _of course._ You needn’t ask!” Lilita chortled, but Laura knew it to be a lie. This was all a show for Betty and the office. The thought made her stomach churn.

“I can show her where it is, Lilita, if I may,” Laura said, and the grip on her waist tightened again. Lilita’s eyes met hers, just cold enough to know Laura was up to something. But Laura knew the woman wouldn’t want the whole office to think she had anything insidious going on or treated her friends or staff poorly.

“Of course, Laura. Do hurry back, we have make-up to get into,” the CEO said with just the slightest edge. Laura was the only one to catch it. Or maybe it was that she could feel Lilita’s frustration with her in her chest.

_Game on, Morgan._

Laura took Danny’s hand and led her down the hallway to the bathroom.

“Thanks, L,” Danny said as they stepped through the door.

“Okay Danny, what the what is going on? Tell me and tell me now. She’s not here. Please. You’re so pale, you’re so thin, I can’t see you like this, I don’t want you in that house anymore—”

“Laura, please, breathe, you’re going to have an anxiety attack,” Danny said calmly.

“Just tell me what she’s doing to you,” Laura said.

“She wanted to make me a Shadow, to make me your right hand, but I refused. She feeds me enough to keep me going so that I can be of use to her, but I think she’s trying to break me.”

“Danny I can get you out.”

“It’s not your job to save me, Laura. Gods, I used to think it was mine to save you, and I would get so mad when you wouldn’t let me. But I get it now, how frustrating it is to have someone think that. This is what I can do for us. She likes me enough to keep me around. Laura, she _trusts me,_ even though I don’t want to be a Shadow.”

“Why? Why does she trust you so much?”

“Laura, I, um, well…” Danny blushed, stuttering, and trailed off.

“Danny, what?”

“I help her let her guard down. I allow her to be vulnerable. I do certain things that…” Laura wasn’t getting it, and Danny was now squirming with how uncomfortable she was.

“Danny, I’m not sure I’m picking up what you’re throwing down here,” Laura said, trying to meet her friend’s eyes. Danny played with her hands, her gaze stuck to the floor.

“I’m sleeping with her, Laura.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Danny, oh Danny, what have you gotten yourself into?
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you for stickin' with me. :) You are all so beautiful.


	26. Head to Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny and Laura finish their talk, Laura and Lilita go head to head in the photo session, and Laura lets Betty in on the underbelly in the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot believe how wonderful you all have been, sticking with me for 25+ chapters and all your kind comments, reads, and kudos. I'm so blown away that you like this story so much. 
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

To say Laura was floored would have been an understatement.

“Danny… what?”

“L, I’m sorry, I can’t talk about this now,” Danny deflected, stepping around Laura and into the stall. “I have to pee and we have to get back out there or she’s going to wonder where we’ve gone.”

“But this is a big deal, Danny!” Laura didn’t like the idea of Danny having to do something so vulnerable and intimate to help the cause. She didn’t want one of her best friends quite literally sleeping with the enemy. Her proverbial claws were out.

Laura tapped her foot, impatiently waiting for her friend to finish in the stall. The toilet flushed, and Danny stepped out.

“Look, Laur, I wouldn’t have gotten into this if I didn’t know what I was getting into. Really.” Danny’s eyes softened as they looked in Laura’s. “I want to help. And, honestly, Lilita may be quite literally the worst person on the planet, but she’s… gentle sometimes.”

“She’s not hurting you? She’s not… you know… like…”

_Whipping you without consent, binding you for days,_ **_locking you in coffins…_ **

“No, Laura. She’s not, _you_ _know_ , _like_ ,” Danny said with a small grin. “I promise.”

“Well, just promise not to fall for her and get all cloudy-headed on us,” Laura laughed, winking.

“Oh gods, as if I could. She’s a terrible person.”

“Come on, before she comes looking for us,” Laura said as she opened the door to the hallway. “I want to get lunch with you today. Just us.”

Danny scoffed.

“She’d never let that happen.”

“I’ll make her. I miss you. …Ready?”

“Are you?”

Truthfully, Laura didn’t know.

* * *

The journalist tried to steel her resolve and control her emotions so that Lilita couldn’t feel anything but her nerves for the photos.

It didn’t work.

A mere few minutes into having their make-up applied, Lilita reached over and softly rubbed the top of Laura’s hand with her fingertips.

“What is it, darling?”

Laura hoped she could mask the disgust she was feeling with a version of sadness and sell it as nerves about asking to take her Danny out for lunch.

“Nothing,” Laura said cheerily.

“Laura, you needn’t hide from me. All I want is your comfort. Your joy. Please, tell me what it is,” Lilita cooed. Gods she was _so good_ at that. The tiny blonde hated the way her chest softened, melting under the CEO’s care.

“Do you have any plans for us today at lunch? Are you meeting with Betty or expecting me to go over anything with you?” Laura asked, treading carefully.

“I thought perhaps we should just relax over lunch today, dear, you have been working so hard and been through so much, after all.”

“Could I… may I ask a favor, Lilita?”

“Darling you may ask anything of me. It would be my pleasure to grant it.”

_She is putting on_ **_such a show_ ** _for everyone within earshot._

“Can I steal Danny away for an hour for lunch?”

Laura felt a heaviness in her chest, the CEO wasn’t keen on the idea. A flash of anger crossed Lilita’s eyes at the request, but was quickly quelled as she covered it up to remain cordial. Wouldn’t want to make a scene, after all.

“Laura of course you and your friend may have lunch,” Lilita said, and to everyone else, her demeanor seemed much the same. But to Laura, everything was tight, wound up.

The blonde hoped she didn’t just get Danny into trouble.

“Ready, L?” Betty’s voice interrupted her thoughts as the cheery blonde appeared in front of them.

“Nervous,” Laura said as the make-up artist finished up and let the journalist stand.

“Nonsense, you look delectable,” Lilita said as her make-up was finished and she stood as well.

Betty shot Laura a knowing look.

_She still thinks Lilita wants to sleep with me. Oh, Betts. If only you knew. I can’t wait to tell you. To blow this story wide the fuck open._

“Betts, what are you doing tonight?” Laura asked, still trying desperately to cloak her emotions. Lilita glanced at the journalist out of the corner of her eye.

“Nothing yet, why?” Betty asked, beginning to lead the two women toward the photographer.

“Do you want to get dinner? LaF is proposing to Perry—”

“LAF IS PROPOSING?!” Betty yelled, followed by a squeal of delight as she did a little dance. “It’s about time,” she said after a second.

“I know,” Laura laughed, sensing that Lilita was trying very hard to see what Laura was up to. “Anyway, they’re proposing, and they want my help but I know we’ll need more than just me. They’ll never ask anyone else, you know them, so I’m asking.”

“If I had plans for tonight, I’d cancel them. You’re on for dinner, Hollis. Now get out there and give me that killer smile.” Betty offered a wink. “Both of you,” she said, allowing Lilita the smallest in into the conversation.

“Yes, Laura, we should get ready for the photos,” Lilita said with the tiniest hint of ice in her tone. “What are you up to, pet?” she whispered in Laura’s ear as they walked the rest of the way toward Henry, their photographer.

“What am I… what do you mean?” Laura ask in her best faux surprise she could manage.

“Laura,” Lilita said, wrapping her finger’s around the journalist’s wrist and stopping before Henry could hear them. “You know I wish for you to tell me things of your own accord, but that I’m not above Commanding my most precious darling to tell me what is on her mind…” The CEO ended the sentence with a whine. **_A whine._** She drew up and down Laura’s bare arm with the tip of her middle finger and its fingernail, sending shivers up the blonde’s spine.

“I’m having dinner with an old friend, Lilita. To discuss another friend’s engagement. Nothing more. I’m still yours.” The words fell easily from Laura’s lips, almost too easily, and she felt the truth of them to her core. It was true, she couldn’t wait to take the CEO down, but something deep within her wept at the idea. Something primal, as a part of her as her heartbeat or her breath.

“Yes, my Laura, I know that. But if you do not wish to share at this moment, you may find your bed rather… unoccupied this evening.” The threat dripped from the taller blonde’s lips. It was insidious, and partnered with a wicked grin.

“I shall spend the evening at Carmilla’s, then, since I’m free to come and go as I please,” Laura said, attempting to stand just a tiny bit taller. She felt her eyes beginning to shift, anger boiling beneath her skin.

“Tsk, tsk, we are in public, darling, you must learn to control yourself,” Lilita said. “I shall help you there. And you shan’t spend the evening at your precious love’s apartment, that was not our deal. You may come and go as you please, but your nights are spent with me in the house. Should you wish to renegotiate, my door is open, but those are our terms.”

“And what if you found your bed quite… _unoccupied_ this evening?” Laura countered before she could help herself. She knew her eyes were blazing purple at this point, and her voice was raising. Surely there were soon going to be people looking at them. Laura’s skin vibrated with the heat of her emotions.

Lilita looked taken aback by Laura’s comment and her sudden fervor.

“Laura,” she warned. “Do not make a scene.”

“L, Lilita, Betty’s asking why you two aren’t with Henry,” Danny called, hurrying over to the women, breaking Laura’s trance, though her body was still overheated.

“We got distracted, Danielle, as we are prone to do,” Lilita said, not removing her eyes from Laura, but wrapping an arm around the redhead’s waist and running her fingers up and down her ribs. The CEO leant down just a tad so she met Danny’s ear and whispered something.

Laura could feel the shift from Lilita’s anger to overwhelming lust. Her lip twitched. This was a power play. Since Laura hinted that she knew what Lilita and Danny were doing, Lilita was going to flaunt it in front of the tiny journalist for all it was worth. And it was worth a lot. Danny blushed and looked away from her friend. Finally Lilita pulled away.

“Laura, come,” she said calmly. Laura didn’t move for a moment. “Laura,” the CEO said again, her tone losing all its warmth.

“Yes, Lilita,” Laura whispered quietly, and felt Danny’s eyes on her back as she followed.

* * *

The first half of the day’s pictures were cordial at best. The iciness between the two women was obvious on camera, and Henry was getting frustrated, calling Betty over every now and again to complain about the two. Finally Betty called it, saying they would reconvene after lunch.

“Come on, Danny,” Laura all but huffed as she tried to pull Danny away from the commotion.

“Oh, dear, I do think I may need Danielle for some work related matters, Laura, I _am_ sorry,” Lilita drawled, her tone smug as could be. Laura’s rage ignited.

“ _What_?” she asked, turning to face the CEO. The edge in her tone caused a few people to look their way. One of them was Betty. One of her eyebrows shot up curiously.

“She is, after all, my assistant, Laura. Something has come up. You may reschedule your little lunch date for another day.”

Not only was Lilita acting out on purpose, but she was treating Laura like a child as she did it. But how far was the woman willing to go in the middle of all these people?

The tiny journalist took a breath and felt her eyes begin to burn in their sockets. She was sure they were growing more purple by the second.

Then a soft hand was gripping her forearm lightly. Laura looked down and then up at Danny, whose careful eyes stared down at hers lovingly, hopefully, _resigned._

“Laura, it’s okay. I have to work. We’ll grab lunch tomorrow, or another day this week,” the redhead said quietly. She leaned down and took the blonde in her arms, whispering, “bluebirds, L, bluebirds. Keep your eyes on the prize.” Then she straightened back up and walked over to Lilita, who was glaring at Laura.

“I must use the bathroom, Danielle, I’ll be back,” Lilita said, her eyes still on the tiny blonde’s. “Laura, do come with me, darling,” she continued as she strode passed Laura. The journalist followed silently, all the way to the restroom. Once they were inside and Lilita had made sure they were alone, she spoke.

“What is it, dear? Is it Carmilla? I thought having her there with you last night would be a treat.” Laura flexed her jaw. She hated whenever Lilita brought up her baby vamp. “Oh dear, is she not… attentive enough?”

“Ugh, Carmilla’s _more_ than _attentive_ , Lilita, but thanks,” Laura said, rolling her eyes. She felt the soft pads of the CEO’s fingers on her face.

“You’re so hard, my little Laura. Trying to keep me from feeling you, hiding yourself, so much more anxious than you were when I first made you my dearest Shadow. Do tell me what it is. My temper has been controlling me today, but I promise, right now, I just want to make you happy. Tell me what I can do,” Lilita said, and she was now cupping Laura’s face in both her hands. “Please.”

“You want me to be honest, my Sire?” Laura sighed, not biting, but asking with all her heart and soul.

“I do, my Shadow.”

“You scare me, Lilita,” Laura said, her gaze staying stuck to the CEO’s. She tried to look away, but Laura kept the blonde’s eyes on her own. “When you get like this, hot and cold and domineering and then careful. I want you to stop putting on a show for everyone. I want you to let me make what are, in your eyes, mistakes, without fear of some kind of enormous retribution. And I want you to stop threatening me with Carmilla,” Laura finished, proud she was able to get all of it out under her Sire’s towering glare. “Anything you have to say or do you can say or do to me. Leave her out of it. You’ve done enough to her.”

“I frighten you?” the taller blonde asked, her voice small.

_Of course that’s all she heard._

“Surely you know that. Surely you know you frighten most that come into your path,” Laura said, keeping her voice as steady as she could.

“You, darling, are the one that frightens me,” Lilita said after a few agonizing moments of silence. The revelation knocked the air from Laura’s lungs.

“I-I- what?” the tiny journalist asked.

“You frighten _me,_ ” the CEO repeated. “Carmilla leaps into fire for you, Danielle comes when you call, Betty smiles when you walk into a room, your friends want you around for their proposals. And you needn’t lift a finger. You breathe and they run to you. And the way the Shadows look at you… I’ve never seen it before. When I say you are my proudest creation, I mean it, Laura. You are the finest thing I have ever done.”

Red tears brimmed in Lilita’s eyes. She was… she was crying.

“You didn’t make me.”

“No. And that’s what I’m most proud of.”

Laura could feel the swell in her chest. Lilita, she, gods, was Laura feeling affection? She wasn’t sure she could call it love. Could Lilita love? But the way she was looking at the smaller blonde… Laura’s heart was caught in her throat. If this was a manipulation, it was a damn good one. Laura didn’t sense an ounce of insincerity anywhere in the older woman.

“You may take Danielle to lunch any day this week you please. Every day if you wish,” Lilita began. “Except today. I truly do need her. That was not a lie.”

The concession was small, Laura still wasn’t getting to take Danny out when she wanted to, but she was breaking Lilita bit by bit.

“Accepted,” Laura said, offering the woman a small squeeze of the hand, then reaching for the handle to the door.

“Laura?” the CEO asked, and Laura turned to her. “Shall we try and give them better photographs after lunch? It would be such a tragedy for us both not to look our very best when the articles run.”

“Yes. A tragedy it would be,” Laura said, and then strode from the bathroom.

* * *

The rest of the session went by in a breeze. Henry had no idea what the women had talked about in the bathroom, but continually thanked them for whatever it had been as he was talking photos. He was _eating them up._ Betty, too, was beyond thrilled with the performance the two women were giving. Danny was suspicious, Laura could see the redhead trying to figure out what was going on.

 _I’ll tell you, Danny. Promise,_ Laura thought, as if the taller woman could hear her.

When the session ended, Betty and Laura walked Lilita and Danny from the building, waving as they climbed into the town car amongst the paparazzi and drove away.

“Where to, Hollis?” Betty asked.

“I was thinking we could just order some pizza. Get some beer. And talk here,” Laura said, yearning for something relaxing instead of having to get all done up to go out somewhere for dinner. She was becoming tired of being out in public.

“Sounds good to me,” Betty said, throwing an arm around Laura as they headed back into the building, a few of the press still snapping photos even though Lilita was gone.

“So I need to talk to you,” Laura said forty or so minutes later, popping the top off two beer bottles and handing one to Betty, who was placing the pizza box down on the table in her office and opening the lid.

“I know, LaF’s proposal! Tell me, what are they thinking, oh Laura this is so exciting—”

“We’ll get to that, Betts. I have something else to discuss with you first,” Laura said, a little bummed they weren’t going to start by giggling and talking about how excited they were for LaF. But she had to get through this first.

“Okay… shoot,” Betty said, cautiously taking the bottle from Laura.

“It’s about the articles. It’s about Lilita,” Laura said matter of factly.

“…this seems ominous,” Betty said, sitting down on the couch perpendicular to her desk and gesturing for Laura to join her.

“I need to know you won’t say anything about any of this until we’re ready.”

“Laura…” Betty said, a bit offended.

“I just need to hear you say it, Betts. I’m telling you all this as a friend, not as an employee to her boss, not as a journalist to her editor. Okay?”

“Of course.”

Laura launched into the stories Carmilla had told her as well as some of the ones she’d seen in dreams. Then she began to tell Betty about Ell. She even pulled out her laptop to show her the footage.

“I remember this! You and LaF went on about this for _weeks!”_ Betty said, watching the screen.

“I know.”

“And it was _her_ doing?”

“It was.”

Silence followed. Betty sipped on her beer.

“This is a lot to take in, L.”

“I’m not finished, Betts.”

“Jesus.”

“Remember the first fight I had with Carmilla? I was in the hospital and then disappeared to the woods for a bit?” Laura asked, unsure if she should tell Betty this. But she was in too deep now, no going back.

“Yeah?” Betty asked, tentative.

Laura explained what happened, with Carmilla in the well, in the coffin of blood, nursing her back to health… then she talked about Lilita and Carmilla siring her into a Shadow.

“A _what_?” Betty blurted.

“A Shadow. It’s not a demon, at least I don’t think. I’m living and breathing… I guess I age way slower now or something, my life is tied to theirs, but I can feel their emotions, and part of me needs blood to survive. Any blood. It can be demon blood, human blood, animal blood…”

“Well, this pizza’s done,” Betty said, tossing her crust into the box.

“Oh. Right. Sorry,” Laura mumbled.

“So there’s some ritual Lilita is planning at the Alumni Event that has to do with you, and she’s bringing a bunch of Shadows she’s been making at _Viru,_ and she’s like the world’s _worst_ person, but one of the most powerful and we’re… supposed to stop her by running some stories that she’ll for sure shut down in fifteen seconds?”

“Not print stories, Betty. I think it’s time we branch out. I think it’s time we move to digital media. We’re gonna capture everything that happens at the Alumni Event… on tape. Streaming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A streaming vlog? But we've never seen Laura do that! 
> 
> Thanks for reading :).


	27. Be Brave. Live.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura goes to get drinks with LaF to talk about their engagement plan. Laura also deals with the dark thoughts inside herself surrounding the Alumni Event and what she may have to do to keep from becoming a monster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies. 
> 
> I'm sorry I didn't get to do a second update this past week, it just didn't end up being in the cards for me. This chapter was a hard edit, as it really serves to propel this story toward its finale... it's a lot of Laura inside her own head, and I wanted to get it right.
> 
> Thank you for all your continued love and support.
> 
> Hope you like this one.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

Laura and Betty spent the next hour mulling over how to make the stream happen, then they finally got to talking about LaF’s proposal. Laura texted LaF in the middle of the discussion asking them out later in the week so they could talk about what they had planned and fill Laura in. She also mentioned she had told Betty.

 _LaffyTaffy:_ Way to share my news, Hollis!

 _Laura:_ I got excited. And I knew you’d never ask for more than my help.

 _LaffyTaffy:_ …fair enough.

 _Laura: …_ I told Danny, too.

 _LaffyTaffy:_ LAURA.

 _Laura:_ *blushy face emoji*

 _LaffyTaffy:_ I hate you.

 _Laura:_ Aw, I love you, too, LaF! See you Thursday:). I miss you.

 _LaffyTaffy:_ Miss you too, L. See you then. I’ll make sure to have blood on hand.

 _Laura:_ You’re so good to me.

As she typed the words, she felt her stomach lurch. Sure, she loved the surge she got from blood, and it even tasted good to her now, but she didn’t want it. She didn’t want to rely on it. She wanted LaF to create something different for her, something that could keep her healthy without the need of O Neg. every day. She’d have to remember to ask them if they thought they could create something more than that serum she took every now and then.

 _LaffyTaffy:_ I’m the **best**. Don’t you forget it.

Lilita had been insistent that Laura be picked up in a car that evening, but Laura desperately wanted to walk back to the CEO’s townhome. She wanted space, time... air to clear her head. Being alone for the walk would be nice. Finally Lilita acquiesced.

 _Boy, she really_ ** _is_** _trying to get on my good side,_ Laura thought as she hugged Betty good-bye and left the building.

Betty had been worried about the idea of streaming the Alumni Event live. How were they going to get anyone to watch it? They couldn’t publicize that they were going to be doing that, Lilita would get wind of it in seconds.

“We’ll have to send out messages, emails, hell, push notifications as soon as we start streaming. I’ll bet SJ can do it, or has someone in her department that can…” Laura had mused, and Betty agreed.

Laura’s heart was swelling. Betty had believed her, and they were planning a way to take down Lilita not only at the Alumni Event, but beyond. Yes, Carmilla and Mattie and Laura would be in charge of leading a physical revolution on the night of the event, but what about after? What about what the world would say or do or think?

 _They shunned you before, they’ll shun you again,_ Laura thought as her feet moved her down the street. She wasn’t paying attention and nearly walked off the sidewalk and into an oncoming biker.

“WATCH IT!” they yelled as they passed.

“Oh, sorry!” Laura called after them, but they were already gone.

_Head in the game, Hollis. Gods. Don’t kill anyone tonight._

The last sentence echoed over and over in her mind, bouncing around, shining a laser pointer on something she had been desperately trying to avoid: a plan that had been forming around the Alumni Dinner. Yes, they were going to livestream it so that Lilita’s empire that was built on lies and blackmail and black markets would crumble. But no matter what Carmilla and Mattie discovered, she still knew that they couldn’t kill Lilita without killing Laura, couldn’t kill Laura without killing Carmilla…

Laura knew. At the end of the day, the only way to get rid of the CEO for good was to say good-bye to all of them.

Laura and Carmilla hadn’t talked about it. The blonde was sure her brunette was avoiding such a discussion, doing all she could to find another way. But that didn’t make the truth of said discussion any less prevalent.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, pulling her out of herself. LAFFYTAFFY flashed on the screen.

“LaF!” Laura said as she answered.

“Hey, L,” they said warmly. Gods Laura missed seeing them almost every day. They never failed to bring a smile to her face.

“I’m excited to see you Thursday,” Laura said, but it came out less excited then she would have liked.

“You okay? You sound flat. Your texts were trying a little too hard, too. That’s why I called.”

“I’m okay, LaF. Busy day.”

“Photoshoot, I know. I wanted to see how it went. Talking to you. Not our text conversations that always somehow inevitably become rants about Doctor Who.”

Laura took a quick glance at her phone. It was 8:06 pm. Lilita wanted Laura at the town home for her nights. She did not, however, specify _times_ at night at which Laura had to be there. The blonde grinned.

“What are you doing right now, LaF?”

“Working on JP’s samples. I can’t figure out what happened to him at _Viru,_ Laur, but it was something--”

“Care to take a break?” Laura asked, cutting LaF off.

“What did you have in mind?”

* * *

Within a half hour, Laura was walking into _307._ A wave of nostalgia filled her. The first time she saw Carmilla. Her birthday. Things seemed so much simpler then. _Were_ so much simpler then.

“Hey Crushes-on-Vampires,” a voice said from behind her. _LaF._

Laura turned and threw her arms around her best friend.

“LaF!” she cried, thrilled to see them.

“Geez, Laur, you’d think I hadn’t seen you in years,” they said, stumbling back slightly under the enthusiasm.

“Long day,” the blonde sighed, taking a seat at the bar with LaF alongside her.

After ordering drinks, Laura got directly to business with LaF. She didn’t want to think about Lilita, or the Alumni Event, or anything that wasn’t her best friend getting engaged. She’d been so wrapped up in her own head recently that she hadn’t given her friends the time they deserved. But she was going to do this. She wanted nothing more than to do this.

“I know we said Thursday, but let’s talk about it now. Please?” Laura asked, pouting, and LaF smiled, shaking their head.

“Of course, L,” they said, launching into their plan. “I want to start the day at the apartment, because that makes the most sense, and I have a few other stops around the city. Then it ends at the park with a sunset dinner and, well, you know…” LaF said, their blush lighting up their cheeks.

“I love it, LaF. I think Perry will, too.”

“It’s a whole day for us, each clue will lead to a cool class, I have a baking one set up, a session at that make-your-own pottery place that Perry loses her mind over… I want us to get to spend the whole day together and then end at the park.”

“Gods LaF, I love this so much.”

“I thought maybe we could all make a day of it. You, me, Perry, JP, Kirsch, Betty, Danny if she can get away… Carmilla can come if she wants. Perry likes it so much when we all get to be together. And I thought this would be how’d she’d want it.”

“You’re so right, LaF. Ugh you two are so perfect it’s sickening…” Laura laughed.

“I could say the same about you and the Mistress of the Night.”

“Well we’re stuck with each other whether we like it or not. Shadows and Sires and all,” Laura said with a giggle.

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s the only reason you’d want to stay with her.”

“The single only one,” Laura said, and the two shared a grin. “So when are you thinking?”

“I was gonna wait until next month but… ugh Laura I don’t think I can wait. I’m so excited I almost blurt it out whenever I’m with her. I’ve set up stuff this weekend, Saturday. I know it’s soon so if you can’t make it, I get it, but—”

“LaF, I would move mountains to be there. I’m _in,”_ Laura said, and LaF’s smile was so big that Laura was sure it could have lit up space.

After spending the next half-hour discussing in wonderfully painstaking detail exactly how LaF wanted Saturday to go down, Laura changed the subject out of the blue.

“LaF… I’ve been thinking about something, and I wonder if you could do it…” she said, her finger tracing the rim of her second drink.

“Yeah, Laur, what’s up?”

“I…I scare myself whenever I… _drink blood,_ ” she whispered, looking around to make sure no one around them heard her. They didn’t.

“Okay…” LaF trailed, awaiting Laura’s question.

“I feel like I become more and more like Lilita each time. I get hopped up on power and I’ve done some… not exactly stellar things under the influence, if you get what I’m saying,” Laura continued. “I know I need it. And I know you made something that kind of helps, even if only temporarily until I can get blood into my system…”

LaF’s eyes lit up for the second time that night.

“Oh, Laur, I’ve been working on something that just might do the trick. It’s still in it’s fetal phase…”

“ _Idon’tcareI’lltakeit,_ ” Laura nearly shouted, fumbling off her stool and throwing her arms around LaF’s neck. LaF pulled away after a moment, eyeing their friend carefully. They sighed.

“So, Carmilla told me about the Lustig. About the Alumni Event,” they began. “Laura, if I know anything it’s that you’re always two steps ahead. Even of me. Please don’t tell me you’re thinking of doing something stupid.” Laura was silent. “ _Laura. Eileen. Hollis._ ” Laura couldn’t help but smirk. Always with the three names.

“Personally I don’t think it’s that stupid, LaF…” Laura said, unable to meet her friend’s eyes.

“Not exactly giving me the confidence I needed, here.” LaF’s tone was grave.

“LaF, I’ve spent years trying be little righteous Laura Hollis. Writing my little stories and fighting vampires at night and boxing in a ring. We met a ghost in the basement of the Lustig and after a month when we couldn’t get any traction, we let it go. But it’s always haunted me. My gut is messy, and gets me in trouble, and is so off-base sometimes it makes me wonder if I’m even listening with the right parts of myself.” Laura sat back on the stool, sighed, and took a sip of her drink. LaF followed suit, waiting for their friend to continue patiently.

“I fell in love with someone that stories tell me is soulless. Someone that looks at me and sometimes I can’t hold her eye contact too long because I might burn out of my skin. When we were in college I thought I had it all figured out. Good, this. Bad, this. All I know now is that I knew nothing. I _know_ nothing.”

“Laur…” LaF started.

“No, let me finish. Please. I…I’m trying to get it out,” Laura stuttered. “Carmilla and Lilita and me, we’re all connected. We can’t… we can’t physically live without each other. One dies, we all die. We…” The journalist grunted, not able to form the words. “I love you. And Perry. And Danny. Kirsch. Betty. Carmilla… gods, do I love Carmilla… but for the first time, I know. I really _know_ what’s right.” A tear fell from her eye.

“What do you want, Laura? What do you need?” LaF asked, not knowing what else to say.

“I need to come with you this Saturday and have a day with my friends. I need to see you and Perry get engaged and scream and cry and dance when you get married. And I…I need it to happen before the Alumni Event. I know it’s not fair to ask, LaF, I know—”

“Laura. Stop,” LaF said, their eyes boring into Laura’s. “I never wanted a big ceremony for me and Perr. I always hoped we’d do it soon after we got engaged. And maybe… maybe you’ll do it for us? Sometime before the Alumni Event? So that when you…”

Laura’s arms were around LaF before they could finish, and neither noticed the bartender as he passed by them, rolling his eyes marginally at the two people crying at his bar, embracing one another like they’d never hugged another human before.

Laura knew she’d have to say it aloud eventually. Knew Lilita would feel it, knew Carmilla would feel it… but if she could hide it long enough from the CEO, maybe she could make it work. But if she hid it too long from Carmilla… the immortal creature may never forgive her.

But if Laura succeeded… none of them would probably live long enough for that to be an issue.

And as problematic as that was to her little Gryffinpuff soul, as much as she’d have to reckon with her moral compass on the weight of one life over another, or three lives over billions, if the only way to take down the Mother of All Vampires was to extinguish herself, well then she had better write her father _one heck_ of a good-bye letter, and she hoped to the gods that she’d see her mother again wherever she was headed in the afterlife.

* * *

She tried not to think too much about her plan for the Alumni Event on her walk home. It was almost eleven when she and LaF parted, and she’d gotten more than a few texts from Carmilla wondering where she was, and one where her baby vamp said that Lilita was becoming “uneasy”, which Laura was pretty sure was code for, “this bitch is driving me insane, please come home.”

But as hard as she tried, images from her dream kept popping back into her thoughts. She couldn’t become that. She would not descend into some mindless killing machine, hellbent on blood and nothing else. Seeking the praise of her Sire without context or consequence. It would be hard not to consume blood under Lilita’s roof, but she’d find a way. It would be harder still to keep her plans and thoughts to herself.

She knew LaF could handle it. They always could. A cool head under pressure, they always saw the big picture… unless it came to Perry. Laura knew they were the only person she could entrust with this plan.

An ache formed in her chest. An ache all her own. Carmilla’s broken sobs filled her mind: a scream inhuman, the seconds after seeing Laura dead and mere moments before she herself would fall to the same fate…

It wasn’t fair.

But who the hell ever cared about fair?

 _I do,_ a small voice in the back of Laura’s brain echoed. _No. You_ ** _did._** _Now? You care about… whatever will give your friends the lives they deserve. You care about whatever will cause the least casualties. Now… you have to think like a warrior, Hollis._

Her eyes began to water, and she felt stupid that all she could think about was that quote from the end of season five of Buffy that _always_ made her cry… Her mind echoed it over and over:

_Tell Giles… tell Giles I figured it out. And I’m okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. The hardest thing in this world is to live in it._

_Be brave._

_Live._

_For me._

_For me…_ Laura thought again and again as her stride moved her toward Lilita’s townhome. As she got closer, she could feel both her Sires’ emotions find their way into her body. She was still at least two miles out. Distance must have been becoming less and less of an issue. The Shadow part of her must have been really starting to settle… Laura shuttered to think of a time when she’d feel them with her all the time and they’d feel her. It was a strange kind of violation. While part of her reveled in sharing herself so fully with Carmilla, part of her also wanted something that was just _hers._ Something that she could have and figure out on her own without someone else feeling it first.

But, well, maybe it wouldn’t ever even get that far. 

This was agonizing and frustrating and a whole lot of bullshit that someone at twenty-five should not be having to deal with, dammit! It wasn’t…

 _Fair?_ her brain thought, a version of herself smirking inside her own head.

 _Fuck you,_ another part of her thought.

 _Oh good, now I’m literally talking to myself inside my own head. This is stupendous._ Her snarky intellect rolled its eyes.

“OH MY GODS, STOP!” Laura nearly shouted, and a few people passing her by looked over at her and moved away. “Sorry,” she muttered as she kept walking, embarrassed by her outburst.

Her phone buzzed. Carm.

 _Baby Vamp:_ You okay, cupcake?

 _Laura:_ I’m fine.

 _Baby Vamp:_ Once more with even less feeling.

 _Laura:_ I just need to sleep, Carmilla.

 _Baby Vamp:_ Then get your ass back here and be my little spoon.

Despite herself, Laura chuckled as she read that.

 _Laura:_ As if you’ve ever been the big spoon in your life.

 _Baby Vamp:_ A girl can dream.

 _Laura:_ I think I might actually like big spoon baby vamp tonight.

 _Baby Vamp:_ Your wish is my command, m’lady.

 _Laura:_ So noble.

Laura felt the familiar swell of her vampire in her lower abdomen. The journalist may be planning the demise of them all, but she was going to enjoy the last few months she had with her girlfriend as long as she could. She would have a normal day with her on Saturday and picnics over the summer and dancing at LaF and Perry’s wedding and more stolen kisses than she wanted to count. She would make a lifetime of memories in the blink of an eye.

She walked through Lilita’s front door roughly half an hour later. The CEO asked if she would like Danny to fetch her anything to drink before bed.

“No, I’m fine. Thank you, Danny,” Laura said to her taller friend. She didn’t like talking with Lilita about Danny as if Danny wasn’t standing right there. She was. The redhead looked like she had a little more life tonight, a flush in her cheeks, and she didn’t look quite as starved of energy has she previously had. Laura could only hope Lilita was starting to treat her “little plaything” a bit better.

“Might Danny have the day off on Saturday?” Laura asked, and Danny looked confused. “LaF’s proposal is this weekend. They have a whole day planned. They’d like if a few of their closest friends were there with them.” Danny's eyes lit up. 

“I think that’s a lovely idea. Would you like that, Danielle? To be there for your friend?” the CEO cooed.

“Very much, Lilita,” Danny said and she met Laura's eyes, both of them smiling.

“Granted, pet,” she said, wrapping an arm around Danny and beginning to draw circles on her back with her middle finger. “Come, dear, we shall to bed. Laura looks tired. Sleep well, darling. Say goodnight to my dutiful daughter for me.”

“Yeah, okay,” Laura rolled her eyes.

“Laura,” Lilita said, her tone suddenly harsh, and Laura’s chest flared with the emotion of Lilita feeling frustrated and betrayed. “Manners.”

“I will of course tell her you said goodnight,” Laura said, and felt the tension that had been building start to settle.

The CEO leant down and offered the smaller blonde a kiss on the cheek.

“Goodnight, my beautiful Laura. Sleep well,” she whispered, her lips lingering by Laura’s ear.

“You too,” the journalist said, not really sure of what else to say.

Lilita’s lips curled up in a smile as she pulled away and she and Danny walked off. Laura climbed the stairs toward her bedroom, passing the rooms of some of the Shadows in the process.

Some of their doors were open, and they bowed their heads as they passed.

“You don’t have to do that,” Laura huffed under her breath.

“But we do, Sovereign,” one of the Shadows said. He was a young man, maybe twenty-two or so, with straw-colored hair and a strong jaw.

“Why?” Laura asked, unsure if she was allowed to engage with the Shadows, unsure if they even fully could.

“You were chosen. We do not share the same connection with Mother that you do.”

“She has asked for us to protect you,” another Shadow said. He was perhaps a few years older then the other, but just as powerful-looking. For the first time, Laura realized that the Shadows were sharing sleeping quarters. They had simple beds, small rooms, and no bathrooms in their space.

“Oh… oh,” Laura said, blushing, unable to say much else. She continued toward her room. Room was an understatement, truly her space was an apartment. She had a full kitchen, a large living/sleeping area, and that huge bathroom…

Guilt tore through her as she opened the door, her eyes looking back toward the room with the two Shadows. She sighed and stepped through her corridor.

Carmilla looked up as Laura closed the door behind her. The vampire was sitting at a small table reading, wearing her usual robe, her thin rectangular glasses balancing on her face just so. Laura hadn’t seen her girlfriend in glasses before. It was… well… stunning.

“Carm…” she sighed appreciatively.

“Hi, cupcake. I’m glad you’re back. I’ve missed you.” Carmilla closed her book and placed it down on the table. “What is it?” she said, and Laura knew the vampire could feel the journalist’s guilt.

“The other Shadows are sharing rooms. They just have beds. I feel weird having this whole apartment space. I dunno, it was a long day, Carm. The photo session sucked, Lilita was so manipulative… dinner with Betty and drinks with LaF were great, but I’m so tired…” she said, nearly falling into Carmilla’s arms as the brunette stood and opened them so that Laura could melt into her embrace. The blonde did so gladly.

“Let’s get you to sleep, creampuff,” Laura’s baby vamp said as she led her toward her bed.

Within minutes Laura was in her comfy plaid pants, a white tank top, and snuggling in under the covers. When she felt her vampire’s arms wrap around her protectively, lips on the back of her neck, Laura closed her eyes and greeted a well-deserved sleep, thoughts of sacrifice and war echoing in the far-off distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't help myself with the Buffy quote. I find that Laura and Miss Summers share quite a few attributes, and have been searching for a place to really delve into that. I think that quote worked perfectly for our little heroine here.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed :).
> 
> More to come soon...


	28. I Hope it Doesn't Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LaF and Perry get engaged. Laura and her Baby Panther have a standoff with Lilita.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I hope you will forgive me for only bringing you one update this week, my awesome readers. 
> 
> My mental health has been out of sorts the past few weeks and I've been trying to take care of myself, so some of my writing has slowed, hence why updates here have been less than usual. 
> 
> I have a busy week coming up, but I promise I will try and update at least once! :)
> 
> Thank you for your reads, kudos, comments, and general love... they make me all warm and fuzzy. 
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

The early evening air was crisp on Laura’s face as she and her friends walked along the sidewalk toward the park. The sun would be setting soon, and LaF would be asking Perry to marry them and Laura’s chest was a flurry of excitement and joy.

Carmilla’s hand laid softly in her palm as they strode down the concrete, and for this blissful day, Laura had felt normal with her. They’d gotten up early and made breakfast together before heading over to the baking class with LaF and Perry and everyone, and it had quickly turned into them giggling with each other and tossing flour around.

Perry’s face had been all grins all day. They each talked about life and goals for the rest of the year, and even Laura let herself imagine a future beyond the Silas Alumni Event with Carmilla. Danny and Kirsch were talking medicine, JP was opening up and becoming more like his old self before whatever happened at _Viru,_ which he still couldn’t remember much of, and Laura was happy to drink in the sight of what LaF and Perry looked like each time they glanced over at each other.

The cakes they had made turned out… well, Perry’s turned out perfectly, everyone else’s turned out a little awkward and lopsided but they tasted great just the same.

Danny and Kirsch parted ways from the group before they made it to the make-your-own pottery class. They made up some flimsy excuse that Laura hadn’t really overheard but Perry seemed to buy it. She gave them both big hugs and Laura smiled: they were going to get the park ready for dinner. Laura couldn’t wait.

The pottery place was slightly less successful than baking had been, but Laura and Carmilla had managed to make small tokens for each other. Laura made her baby vamp a small cat figurine (she didn’t want to make pottery so she went rogue). But what the brunette created for her made her heart skip a beat. A small carved pendant whose designs looked not unlike the locket Carmilla had given her, and the silverish midnight blue color Carm had painted it complimented the other piece of jewelry perfectly. On the back her baby vampire had engraved “CK. Yours”.

“Carm…” Laura said, flipping the pendant over in her hands, her lower abdomen filling with adoration as it spilled into every part of her body. “This is gorgeous…” She blushed and looked at her small ceramic cat, feeling a little foolish.

“Hush,” Carmilla said as she took the token from Laura and placed her lips against her girlfriend’s temple. “It’s perfect and I love it. We shall call her Bagheera.”

* * *

The pendant now hung around the blonde’s neck along with Carmilla’s locket as they turned into the park and a few of the picnic tables were arranged to be closer together while giving their occupants enough space to have their own conversations if need be. There were white table clothes on them, along with candles, wine, and place settings.

 _Damn, Danny and Kirsch really nailed it,_ Laura thought.

“LaFontaine! What is this?” Perry exclaimed, looking at her partner.

“Dinner for all of us,” they said as the group headed toward Danny and Kirsch whom were finishing lighting the candles on the tables.

“Surprise!” they said in unison, and then laughed together, high-fiving.

Betty, Laura, Carmilla, JP, Danny, and Kirsch all took seats at the tables. Before Perry could, LaFontaine held her off.

“LaF?” Perry asked, confused.

“Perr. Perry. Lola Perry. My best friend.” Tears were already starting to form in their eyes, and Laura could feel them prickling at hers, too.

“LaFontaine, dear, what is it?” Perry asked, now concerned.

“You. It’s you,” they said simply, taking both of Perry’s hands in their own. “You lit up my life the second you walked into it, and have somehow made it brighter every single day since. You cheer me on in all my experiments, whether they succeed or fail, you helped me come out to my parents, you followed me around for a week with a mini fire extinguisher that time I almost burnt us up in chemistry…”

“Well that really was so unsafe, LaFontaine…” Perry mused, still not getting what LaF was trying to do here.

“You’re the most important person in my world, Perr. In my universe. I love nothing so much as I love you.”

“Aw, LaF, you’re making me - ohmygod ohmygod!” Perry squealed, cutting herself off as LaF got down on one knee and took out the small box with the ring Laura and LaF had picked out.

“I love when we laugh, when I get to hear about your day or your dreams or the kooky new recipe you want to try, when we get to hang out with our friends and make ridiculous pottery pieces, heck I even love _fighting_ with you, Perr. Marry me?” they finished, the box open in their hands.

Perry’s hands were covering her mouth and tears streamed down her face.

“LaF, gods, yes, of course, get up here…” she said, pulling LaF to their feet and offering them a kiss on their lips.

The group couldn’t contain themselves any longer. Hoots and hollers and whoops came from everyone, and Laura found tears were now streaming down her own face. Her best friend was going to marry their best friend. It was everything Laura wanted, and now it was real.

Even Carmilla was whooping and clapping.

 _There’s something you don’t see everyday…_ Laura thought, turning her attention to her girlfriend and loving the way the joy was lighting up her baby vamp’s face and emotions. She could feel how ecstatic she was, it was electrifying. Laura reached out and took one of Carmilla’s hands in hers, and the two continued hollering.

* * *

“Cupcake, that was a fantastic day, thank you for including me,” Carmilla whispered to Laura as they parted from their friends after the long, luscious dinner. They gave Perry and LaF big hugs - ‘couldn’t’ve done it without you, Hollis,’ LaF praised in the blonde’s ear as they'd hugged her goodnight.

“Thank you for coming, Carm, I know all that stuff isn’t really your scene-“ Laura started, but her brunette cut her off.

“I got to spend the day with the woman I love, laughing and doing things she enjoys, and watching her friends get engaged. Exactly what more do you think a vampire like me could ask for?”

“I love you, my baby vamp.”

“I love you, too, creampuff.”

They walked hand-in-hand in silence for a bit, and then Carmilla spoke.

“You haven’t asked about Mattie today, about our research last night…” she mused.

“Oh… well I was trying to keep that business out of our day today, I guess…” Laura lied, knowing full well it was because she’d already resigned herself to her fate of choice.

“Okay, Laura, what is it? This whole week I’ve felt this sense of guilt heavy in you. Is it Lilita? Did she do something to you?” Carmilla’s vampiric protectiveness was shooting out of her in waves.

“No, Carm, no, nothing like that. I guess I’m just scared…” Laura began, and it wasn’t all together a lie. She _was,_ after all, scared.

“I’m not going to let anything happen to you. That includes you hurting anyone. LaF is working on something that might suppress Lilita’s ability to Command me, and Mattie’s close to finding a way for us to capture her or kill her maybe without hurting either of us, we’re going to figure this out, okay?” The brunette’s eyes were laced with concern as they bore into Laura’s, but the journalist couldn’t bring herself to say anything. “Hey, okay?”

“Okay, Carm,” Laura sighed quietly.

“Laura,” Carmilla said, halting and stopping Laura along with her. The brunette’s finger pulled Laura’s chin up so she met her vampire’s eyes. “Everything about this is unknown and scary. Going back to the place that… Ell…”

“Oh gods, Carm, I know, I shouldn’t—”

“Shhh, Laura. Shh. Let me finish,” Carmilla coaxed, linking the fingers of both her hands with Laura’s. “When I told you we were going to do this together, until the end, I meant it. Everything. I’ll be there when your first big article on Lilita comes out to deal with how insane everything will be with the press, I’ll be there as the rest of the world catches up to me and falls in love with tiny journalist Laura Hollis." 

A blush was forming on Laura's cheeks.

"I’ll be there when LaF and Perry make sappy long awkward speeches at their wedding, I’ll be there whenever Lilita says anything that scares you or harms you or makes you doubt yourself, and I’ll be there when we march onto that campus with one singular goal.”

Carmilla unlinked one of her hands and put it palm-up on Laura’s abs.

“Here," the brunette said before she moved her hand up to the blonde’s breastbone. “Here.” Then she leaned in and gave Laura a small peck on the lips. “And here. We’re going to lose count of the number of nights where we sit and count stars together, we’ll dance in the squares of any city you want to visit, we’ll send your father text updates every fifteen minutes anytime we leave home so he knows your safe.”

Laura smiled at that.

“I’ll sing to you until I have no breath left in my lungs… well I guess that was a bad metaphor,” Carmilla chuckled, and so did Laura. “But I can’t wait to carry you across thresholds of hotel rooms and keep sparring with you in legal but definitely dubious underground fights, to travel this world and this life with you. I’m with you, Laura. Until the end.”

The moment was so tender and vulnerable, so quiet and yet so loud, and Laura leaned in and took her vampire’s lips with her own, not caring much that they were in the middle of the sidewalk.

“You don’t deserve this, Carm,” Laura whispered, tears in her eyes.

“ _I_ don’t deserve this? Laura, you’re the one I dragged into this mess,” Carmilla said quietly, fervently.

“That’s not what I meant,” Laura croaked, her resolve cracking. She would sacrifice herself, she would, she knew it in her very bones. But to say she wasn’t scared would be a lie. And all she wanted was for her vampire to take her in her arms and comfort her. To say that good would win. To tell her that death would be swift, that it wouldn’t hurt.

_Gods I hope it doesn’t hurt. All this hurts enough._

“What did you mean? Laura, what are you… gods you’re shaking, you’re scaring me…” Carmilla wrapped the smaller woman in her arms.

There was nothing more Laura could say. She stood enveloped in her baby vampire, memorizing the feeling of her body against her own, studying her scent, the touch of her hair against her face and the feeling of her chin resting on her head as she nestled into the crook of her neck.

“Laura… gods… shhh…” Carmilla whispered, rubbing Laura’s back.

After a few minutes, they began walking, but Laura’s mind was elsewhere. She felt void, empty, she couldn’t even feel Carmilla.

Perhaps this, this was what it was like to die.

She didn’t even realize they weren’t heading toward Lilita’s. She didn’t take any of it in as Carmilla carried her up the stairs and put her into bed. It wasn’t until she woke the next morning after a night of dreaming about Silas and death that she found she wasn’t in the CEO's town home.

“No, no, no, no,” she whimpered as she jumped out of bed. Carmilla groaned into her pillow. “Carm, Carm, why did we come back here? Carm!” Laura said, fumbling around for her phone, which was on the beside table next to the bed, sitting next to her locket and ceramic pendant which Carm must have removed last night before bed. She was reaching out for her phone when she felt it, a crushing anger. Her chest grew tight, her breathing becoming shallow, her vision tunneling…

The door to Carmilla's apartment flew open, the sound of its metal track crunching under the power of someone flinging it so forcefully.

“You take me for a fool, Miss Hollis?” Lilita’s voice echoed off the walls, booming in the space, like nothing Laura had ever heard before. The blonde gasped for air in the midst of her attack as Lilita stepped into the living room, her eyes so yellow Laura could see them from upstairs.

Laura couldn’t put words together, she could barely put air in her lungs. She gulped, gasping.

“You needn’t say anything, darling, I can _feel you._ I can _see your thoughts._ This little anxiety trick of yours will do nothing. **Stand up** ,” the CEO bellowed, not caring that Laura physically couldn’t, completely Commanding the blonde to move.

Her legs tried to obey but her body couldn’t do it. She was in agony. Stones were crushing her chest plate, her lungs pumping full of nothing as her legs thrashed uncontrollably as they tried to both stay still and stand at the same time. She couldn’t even cry out. The torture felt endless.

“Is my pet so _pathetic_ that she cannot even come down to meet her _Maker?_ Her _Queen?_ Her _Sire_?” There was no tone of affection in her voice, the woman seemed void of any of the warmth she once showered the journalist with.

A great black beast pounced from behind Laura, roaring in triumphant glory as it flew from the loft and its front paws collided with Lilita's torso. The CEO’s body crumpled onto the floor, Laura's baby panther pinning her down. The panther’s fangs sunk into the taller woman’s neck, and she gargled, screaming, as blood poured from the wound. Laura felt a cry tear from her throat as she felt the bite in her own body, though her neck stayed without a physical wound.

“ **Down, you meager beast,** ” Lilita sputtered amidst her thrashing. Carmilla’s panther trembled, its weight buckling under itself as it fell sideways to the floor and off Lilita. “ **Foolish kitten** ,” she growled as she stood, somehow still as regal as could be while covered in blood.

The living room reeked of iron, blood still pouring from Lilita’s neck and puddling onto the floor.

“ **Get down here and heal me, my Shadow** ,” Lilita beckoned, and while it was gargled out, it was no less powerful than anything else she could Command.

Laura’s legs finally allowed her to stand, though everything in her was exhausted, and she was growing dizzy from what she assumed was the feeling of Lilita’s blood loss. The room was spinning.

She just had to heal her Sire. Why had Carmilla done that? Lilita was her Maker, _their_ Maker, their _Sire,_ they did whatever she needed. And she said to heal her.

_Yes, do as she asks. Heal her. Offer your neck, Laura. She needs you._

Before the blonde could think anything else, fangs pierced her skin and it was painful, blinding, and holy all at once. Laura gasped as her Sire drank deep of her pet, moaning and grunting, nearly crushing the tiny journalist with how hard she was holding on. Blood surged through Laura’s veins and out her neck, and she could feel Lilita’s healing itself inside her own, the bones refitting and tendons reforming, flesh being pulled over muscle and tissue.

Then the CEO pulled away, leaving Laura nearly whimpering for her to continue. The taller blonde lapped at the puncture she’d left, practically purring into her Shadow’s skin, as Laura found herself stroking Lilita’s hair.

“Mmmm, you are delectable, my pet,” Lilita whispered into her ear and Laura felt her knees go weak. “There she is. I have missed you feeling this way around me,” her Sire cooed. “Tsk, tsk, tsk, you did not return home last night. Do you have any idea how worried I was about you?”

“Get out of my home,” Carmilla growled from behind them, now having shifted back to her vampire form, and her voice pulled Laura from the trance Lilita had her under. The taller blonde turned, too, baring her fangs when she realized Laura’s affections were being taken from her.

“Mircalla, that was no way to welcome your mother into your… home, as you call it,” she said, one eyebrow raised as she looked around like she was in a dirty crypt or something. “Though that panther of yours _is so_ powerful. What a divine being… I always knew your potential was _exquisite_." Lilita's eyes ran up and down Carmilla's body, which was sans clothing because of the shift. "Ugh, do put a robe or something on, darling, it's tacky to walk around like that when you have company.”

“Get. Out.” Carmilla’s voice barely had any trace of her in it, it was rage and disdain, thick with the agony of all the years of head games and torture.

Laura felt woozy. Lilita had, after all, taken much of her blood. Did the CEO and Carmilla feel at all woozy? What, Laura had to feel what they felt but they didn’t feel her physical torment? What was happening?

Her body hit the floor before the CEO or her vampire could help her.

* * *

A bottle of blood at her lips woke her… she wasn’t sure how much time had passed. Mmmm… it was so good… and Carmilla was always so good to feed her when she needed it.

“I’ve got it,” the brunette said as the bottle jolted for a second. Laura’s eyes opened and focused as she saw her vampire, now fully robed, pull it from Lilita’s grasp.

_Oh. I guess Lilita was the one feeding me…_

Suddenly that made Laura feel like an errant child. Having Carmilla help was one thing, but Lilita?

_Ugh._

“We will meet you in two hours at the townhouse, Mother, now please get out of my home.”

“One hour, Mircalla, do not push me.”

“Fine, one hour,” Carmilla grunted.

“You will speak loudly and clearly when you address me, Mirc—”

“ONE HOUR, FINE.” The words were venom in Carmilla’s throat, splintering into the air in harsh, loud shards.

“And you will go straight to Laura’s room. She and I shall have a chat _alone,_ ” Lilita said sharply, but drew out the very last word as if it was some kind of stellar invitation. She placed her finger under Laura’s chin.

The blonde was still drinking from the bottle Carmilla was holding, but she shifted her eyes to meet Lilita’s.

“There, there, pet. You’ll be healed up in no time. I had plans for us last night but since you decided that I was of no import to you even though I have given you a home and an army to do your bidding, a far longer lifespan to spend with your lover, articles that will bring you fame beyond compare—”

“Mother, really, does she look like she can handle a lecture right now?” Carmilla drawled, deadpan, still holding the blood to Laura’s lips.

“Perhaps you’re correct, Mircalla. William is outside waiting in the car anyway. Tick tock, your hour is running out,” she said as she swept from the room, and Laura heard the front door close a few seconds later.

Carmilla immediately pulled the blood from Laura’s mouth and the blonde whimpered. Staying away from that stuff was going to be harder than she thought.

“Laura, gods, Laura, are you okay?” The brunette’s voice was thick with concern as she knelt down in front of the journalist.

“Hungry, Carm, my neck…” Laura whined, reaching for the bottle.

“Ooohhh no, not too much at once. Lilita already gave you one before you even fully came to.” Laura pouted. “Don’t give me the Hollis Pout. How are you feeling?”

“Tired. Kinda woozy. Like spacey. I’m sorry, Carm, I’m not supposed to spend nights away from Lilita…”

“Should’ve known…” Carmilla growled under her breath. “Stupid…”

“No, it’s not your fault.”

“You could have died, Laura! I brought you back here and then nearly ripped her throat out! Gods, if she’d… if you’d…” Carmilla was rambling, her anxiety reaching a fever pitch as she paced around, dragging blood through the apartment.

Laura was about to say something when Carmilla suddenly stopped pacing. She looked down at the blood, then over at the blonde. She did it twice more before the journalist asked what she was doing.

“How… how immediate was it when you felt me rip into Lilita’s neck?” she asked, her eyes now glued to the gory scene on the floor.

“Instantly, why?” Laura asked, still a little woozy.

“Well… the Sire/Shadow rules should have meant that I instantly felt it too, because you were feeling it. Only I didn’t. I didn’t feel anything when I was my panther. Laura… the panther… the panther is its own entity. It can hurt her. Not without hurting you of course, but… this, this is something… oh my gods…”

Her eyes met Laura’s and they were wide with realization and hope.

Then Laura’s eyes grew wide with their own realization:

_If I end it when Carmilla is her panther… maybe I can save her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	29. Just Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura uncovers more of Lilita's plan for the Silas event, and she, Carm, and Mattie continue laying plans of their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello sunshines.
> 
> I am sorry to have missed last week. My head is still a little foggy, my mental health still a little meh. So things have been a bit slow. 
> 
> Please forgive me if there are any crazy errors in this chapter, I usually read and edit these chapters a number of times before posting, but for this one only did it about twice. I wanted to get it up for you guys since I made you wait longer than usual.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for sticking with me here and for your reads, kudos, and comments. I appreciate each and every one of them, and of you. You guys bring a smile to my face. :)
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

The idea of being able to possibly save Carmilla was so soothing to Laura, it was almost like it could take some of the fear over her own death away.

The two women cleaned Carm’s living room of the massive amount of CEO blood and were at the town home within the hour. When they arrived, Laura could hear Lilita’s voice from behind the door before she or Carm had a chance to reach for the doorknob.

“They’re here, Danielle, please make sure—”

“That Carmilla goes immediately upstairs. Yes, Ms. Morgan.”

“Don’t interrupt me, darling,” Lilita said, but it was calm. Soothing. _Adoring,_ almost. Was she really _actually_ soft around Danny?

The blonde and her baby vamp looked at each other, Carmilla offering the tiny journalist a squeeze of the hand before Laura opened the door and she and Carmilla stepped inside. Danny met them a few steps into the foyer.

“Hey, Laur,” the redhead said, offering Laura a hug which the smaller woman happily reciprocated. Danny was looking good. _Really_ good. Her skin was glowing, lighting up her features. Her hair was full and healthy, and her smile was soft and genuine. Ever since Laura had mentioned that she wasn’t looking well and had stood up to Lilita, Danny was looking and acting better than… well better than she had in a long time. Laura didn’t want to feel too wary about it, or about what Lilita may have done to her taller friend. Turned her? Made her a Shadow?

_No, surely I’d know if she’d done either of those things. Wouldn’t I?_

“Carmilla, I have to—”

“Tell me to go upstairs. I know, Xena. Way ahead of you,” Carm said, then turned to Laura. “You okay, creampuff?” Laura nodded. “Good.” She leaned forward and offered her girlfriend a small peck on the lips. “Play her for all she’s worth,” Carmilla whispered low in Laura’s ear, then gave her a knowing look as they separated.

She looked over at Danny, then away, and then did a double take for just a moment too long. Lilita _had_ done something to the redhead.

_Gods dammit,_ Laura thought, but headed back toward her Sire’s office. She knocked on the door and it opened of its own accord.

_Sufficiently creepy…_ Laura thought as she stepped inside.

“Out here, darling,” Lilita said from the back porch. Laura made her way passed Lilita’s oversized desk and stepped out the door to meet the CEO outside.

“Mmmm, what a delicious day, is it not, dear?” her Sire asked as if they hadn’t just had a fight where her throat ended up strewn across Carmilla’s apartment floor.

“Um, sure, yeah,” Laura agreed awkwardly.

“Hold your head high, Laura. Speak with authority.” Lilita tutted her tongue. “I’ll need you at your full potential at Silas.”

“And what will I be doing there, exactly?”

“Leading the Shadows, of course,” Lilita said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I won’t kill anyone, Lilita,” Laura said firmly. Lilita’s eyes softened, along with her chest. Laura could feel warmth and sense of calm radiating through her. At first she thought Carmilla was blanketing her again, but no, this was Lilita. She could tell by the look the woman was giving her.

“Laura, of course you won’t kill anyone. Gods I wouldn’t dream of it. You? You wonderful innocent? There’s a reason I made you a Shadow and not a vampire, darling. It’s your soul. It’s naive, pure, irreplaceable.”

“But others will kill _for_ me. In my name?” Laura asked.

“Laura. This black and white, living and dying, good and evil routine is not healthy. It's not the way this earth is run,” Lilita began, sighing not in frustration, but more in some kind of desperate plea for Laura to understand. “You have two friends that recently got engaged, yes?” the woman began, a bit patronizing.

Laura was taken aback. What in the world did that have to do with anything?

“Um, yeah…” Laura stuttered.

“We have talked about language, Miss Hollis,” Lilita snapped, staring down at her nails.

“Yes. Of course. Yes, my best friends recently got engaged,” Laura corrected quickly.

“And they are deserving of happiness and love?” Lilita asked, meeting the blonde’s eyes.

“Of course,” Laura said.

“And yet would you claim they have never made a mistake? Never hurt anyone, or done something wrong? Would you say they’re perfect?”

“Well, no, nobody’s perfect, but—” Laura interjected.

“When did your mother die, darling?” Lilita’s voice was nonchalant, she could have been asking about the weather. Laura’s breath escaped her chest.

“Um…” Her voice left her for a moment. The question had knocked the wind out of her. What was there to say? Lilita waited patiently. “Um, I was, I was young,” Laura finally stuttered out quietly.

“And your father… he was… absent for a little while following that, correct?" Lilita asked, and Laura suddenly felt defensive. The CEO’s tone sounded accusatory. No one was going to talk about Sherman Hollis that way in front of Laura.

“He was mourning,” Laura said matter of factly. Lilita’s response was not what she expected.

“Exactly,” the taller blonde said simply.

“Wh-what?” Laura asked.

“We are imperfect, Laura. We are supposed to be. Our instincts consistently tell us to fight for ourselves in order to live, but we go against those instincts every day. Sometimes for people, sometimes for things, but almost always for love. We are willing to risk great deals for love…” she trailed, her eyes becoming far off and slightly glazed over. “And fall into even greater despairs.”

“My father never buried me alive in a coffin,” Laura scoffed.

“Didn’t he? Leaving you to fend for yourself while he was in mourning? I’ve seen your nightmares at night, my Laura, I know what’s in the deepest parts of your memory. You needn’t be shy here, or scared. He left you to crawl out of your mother’s grave… alone.” Lilita sipped on the glass of wine in her hand.

“It’s not the same and you know it,” Laura said, her tone firm.

“Perhaps not. Perhaps it’s all about perception. Perhaps it’s about the things we do in the face of our grief. Perhaps we cannot always be proud of the decisions we make.”

“But you keep making them.”

“Indeed I do, myShadow. Indeed I do,” Lilita said sadly.

“What do you love, Lilita? What do you you care the most about?” Laura asked, and immediately felt a growing anguish in her chest. Was this not a question Lilita was asked often? A pang of sadness washed over her at that thought, though it’s not like Lilita had ever been particularly empathetic toward anyone else.

_So she doesn’t deserve empathy, then, Hollis?_ part of Laura’s brain argued.

_Shush you, I’m trying to talk here._

“I love my children, Laura, and nothing more,” the CEO said, looking away from Laura’s eyes.

“Look at me when you say that,” Laura said.

Lilita turned, red tears spilling down her cheeks.

“My children, Laura. I once had a lover named Victor, and he was the thing that made my unbeating heart warm. But he was taken. Now, I love my children, my charges, my Shadows. Nothing more.” Her gaze never wavered, but more tears spilled down her cheeks. “They deserve a world that will accept them, praise them, _love them._ You deserve to be _worshipped,_ my Shadow—”

“But I don’t want to be worshipped, Lilita! I want to write and sleep next to Carmilla and grow old and have children and grand children and explain to them why the sky is blue and read them Harry Potter…” Laura spat out, rambling as fast as her lungs and lips would allow. 

“Can you not have all of these?” Lilita asked, eyes burning.

“I don’t want worship, Lilita.”

“Come, come, Laura,” the domineering CEO whispered coaxingly, her lips turning up at the corners. She took a breath and slowly leaned forward. “Humans all crave something to worship. For some, it is a god, or many. For others, nature. Music, television, celebrity, money, war, even those who believe they worship nothing are worshipping the idea of vacancy.”

Laura said nothing.

“Why not something as pure and good as you? You are a competitor in all things, Laura. In journalism, in boxing, in _love,_ oh yes, I see the way Danielle sometimes looks at you.” Lilita’s eyes wandered up and down Laura’s body, and suddenly the smaller blonde felt exposed in all ways. “Don’t deny you crave the crowds cheering for you, the rush from their reverence. I see the way you look after a fight. Darling, it’s intoxicating. _You_ are intoxicating. This world will never know what hit it when you are Reborn at the Christening.”

_Gulp. What?_

“R-reborn?” Laura asked.

“Oh yes, my darling girl. You think I don’t know your heroic plan of throwing yourself on some kind of pyre to ruin me and save your friends? Laura, Laura, Laura, I live inside your body, I can see inside your soul.” Lilita tutted with her tongue.

Laura’s chest constricted, and a stone fell into her stomach. Lilita knew. Of course she knew. What had Laura been thinking? Trying to hide something like that from her Sire. Did Carmilla know, too?

_Stupid. So stupid, Hollis. Planning your grand escape from the world with two vampires living inside your head._

“But I cannot blame you. You are young, naive, full of promises of good and evil and light and dark. I, too, was like that once,” Lilita continued, dragging Laura from her own mind.

“Really,” Laura deadpanned. “You were like me once. Really.”

“Righteousness has made you so bitter, hasn’t it, dear?”

“So what… what is it then? What do you want from me?” Laura asked, wringing her hands in her lap.

“Cooperation, darling. In exchange for your friends. I shall leave them unmarred, untouched, happy to go on living their lives, and you shall be Christened and Ascend to walk alongside me.”

“Walk alongside you?” Laura was stunned.

_What does_ **_that_ ** _mean?_

“You’ve been taught that vampires work alone. That we’re creatures of the night, stalking in shadows and living in holes, only to happy to be left to our own devices to seduce and slaughter. But we are meant to be two halves of one whole, or more if we see fit.”

“Like… as your _mate?”_

A low chuckle filled the air, growing as Lilita shook her head.

“Laura, one _can_ walk alongside someone else without it needing to be _sexual._ Why, are you offering?” Lilita asked, leaning forward.

“Uh, no, I’m taken care of in that department, thanks,” Laura said, sitting up straighter in her seat. Another chuckle filled her ears.

“I know, I’m just teasing, pet.”

“This, um, this Christening… what is it? How does it work? It sounds… bloody.” Laura’s hands were growing red in her lap from wringing them so hard. Lilita placed one of hers on top of them to stop Laura from pulling her fingers off.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve heard a human say that they think the word christening sounds bloody.” Lilita smirked, raising an eyebrow. “Perhaps a little blood will be shed, but I’ve taken care to stock up on enough blood at _Viru_ to take care of you when you fully Ascend. I can be philanthropic, dear,” Lilita finished, sounding all too proud of herself. As if collecting blood to feed Laura was akin to feeding the world’s population of starving people. “Then of course there’s the soul sacrifice…” she added, flitting it away like it was nothing. Like Laura wasn’t going to catch that part of it.

“Aha!” Laura’s finger shot into the air. “A soul sacrifice.”

“Oh yes, but Laura, the individual in question is already dead. She’s been dead for years, haunting the grounds… really, freeing her from that purgatory is a blessing, not a curse. It truly is more of a kindness than a sacrifice.”

“Haunting the grounds for years?” Laura asked.

* * *

 

“She’s going to sacrifice _Ell?”_ Carmilla exploded, her pacing feet nearly scorching the hardwood beneath her. “Un _believable._ As if she didn’t already _do that once,_ ” the brunette huffed. “I knew, I _knew_ there was something we were missing. Of _course_ it’s a soul sacrifice, I’m so stupid, it was right in front of my face…” the baby vampire was mumbling under her breath as if Laura wasn’t even in the room.

“Also me becoming some Uber Shadow or something to _walk alongside Lilita_ for all eternity or whatever, but yes,” Laura said, hoping to get Carm’s attention.

“Hm? Oh, right, yeah,” Laura’s vampire said, nonchalant. Then she sighed and shook her head. “I’m sorry cupcake. Of course we don’t want that to happen. Any of it.”

“Carm?”

“Yeah, sweeheart?”

“Did you know? What I was planning to do?” Laura asked, her thumb and forefinger playing with the flesh on the middle finger of her other hand, fidgeting over the answer she hadn’t yet received.

“Your grand death plan?” Carm said, a small smirk playing on her lips.

“How did you know?” Laura asked, but she was already sure she knew.

“Creampuff, you love Harry Potter and Buffy. You think I can’t spot a self-sacrifice a mile away?” Carmilla’s raspy tone was at once amused and serious, a single eyebrow quirking up.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Laura asked, blushing, feeling all too dumb for thinking she could pull off this huge plan with no one ever knowing.

“What would you have done if I’d brought it up, hm? Defended it to me, told me how you would do everything in your power to save your friends and this world? Pouted at me for figuring out your plan, like you’re doing right now?” The baby vamp’s smile grew a little, her eyebrows knowingly raised. Laura’s blush deepend. She _was_ pouting.

“Carm?” Laura asked, a grin starting to form on her lips.

“Yes, love?” Carmilla looked at her suspiciously.

“I... have a very specific urge.” Laura’s grin was now lighting up her face.

“That’s an odd way to put it, Laura, but okay,” Carmilla said, beginning to lean forward.

“No, I didn’t… why would I ask for _that_ like… _that?”_ Laura asked, laughing, her nose scrunched up.

“Laura Hollis, I would expect nothing _less_ than for you to try and seduce me like that,” the brunette said.

“Yeah okay fair point,” the blonde laughed.

“What do you have an _urge_ for, creampuff?” Carmilla asked.

* * *

 

Within an hour, Laura and Carmilla were wrapping their fists and wrists at the gym. Carm had paid the owner a nominal amount to close the gym for the afternoon (he didn’t have anyone scheduled to train until that night anyway).

The ring was old but sturdy, and it was at the center of the gym. Lockers and bags lined the walls alongside it, but it was clear that the pride and joy of this place was the center ring.

The adrenaline of boxing again was intoxicating as the two women circled each other, both waiting to see what they other would do first. Carmilla was Laura’s favorite opponent. The brunette had a few tells, but mostly acted on instinct and sometimes Laura couldn’t see what was coming. Even with their symbiotic relationship, each moment in boxing felt surprising, new, and unexpected.

“I love how your forehead wrinkles a bit when you’re so focused…” Carmilla mused, winking at the blonde.

“Don’t distract me with flirting, Karnstein,” Laura said matter-of-factly. Carmilla’s eyes darted to something behind the blonde.

“How did you get in here, Mattie?” the baby vamp sighed, standing up straight and walking over to the ropes. Laura exhaled. All business and no time for expending extra energy, it seemed.

“All too easy, darling. Really, you think a simple deadbolt lock could stop someone on a mission. You used to know better.”

“Hi, Mattie,” Laura said, walking up behind Carmilla and meeting the taller woman’s gaze.

“Hello, Laura. I hear you and Mother have been… getting along…” she said with an edge.

“Let’s not exaggerate,” the blonde huffed.

“Hyperbolic? Me? Darling, never,” Mattie said, her eyes shifting from Laura to Carmilla.

“I assume you’re here for a reason, Matska?” Carmilla drawled.

“Naturally,” the woman said as she sat, rather unwillingly, on a metal folding chair. “This place is truly… charming, Mircalla.”

“It has character,” the brunette said as she hopped down from the ring.

“Is that character fond of filth?” Mattie said, grimacing. Carmilla rolled her eyes.

“Are we going to chit chat all afternoon about the decor or are you going to tell me why you’re here?” Carmilla said, eyebrows quirked.

“Mmmm, quite right. Yes. Well, it seems Lilita has opted to… disappear for awhile,” Mattie said as she brushed something invisible from her pristine dress.

“Disappear?” Laura asked.

“Yes. She and that undead redhead she always has on her arm have apparently absconded for Europe.”

“Undead red… Danny?” The tiny journalist tried to put the pieces together in her head. She had to be talking about Danny. But Danny wasn’t dead. Or undead. Or whatever. …Was she?

“I knew it,” Carmilla all but growled. “I could smell it on Xena the second I walked in today.”

“You mean Lilita… she… she turned Danny? Danny's a vampire?” Laura’s voice was hoarse, almost unable to make its way out of her lips.

“Oh dear, that was not supposed to be the shocking news…” Mattie said, her normally cool voice laced with concern. “Sorry, darling.”

“Shit, Carm, I…” Laura’s eyes filled with tears.

“Laura, it’s okay, I know, I know,” Carm cooed, wrapping the blonde in a hug. “What was _supposed_ to be the shocking news, then, Mattie?” Laura heard Carmilla ask.

“About the Christening, of course. Laura’s Rebirth.”

“Heeerrrr what now?” Carmilla asked, and Laura felt her own body grow rigid. “Laura…” the baby vamp said, her tone just a tad scolding.

“Well, I told you, the whole Uber Shadow thing,” Laura muttered.

“You didn’t say _Rebirth_  or  _Christening_ _,_ creampuff, that’s _different._ ”

“Well, okay, sorry, how was I supposed to know?”

“She’s already spoken to you?” Mattie said, surprised, dragging Laura and Carmilla out of their little tiff. “And did she say what she was fetching in Europe?”

“Uh, no, she definitely left that part out,” Laura said, looking back and forth between the two vampires.

“Mattie, she wouldn’t. You don’t think…” Carmilla trailed off, leaving Laura’s mind hanging. Mattie’s head nodded one simple time, her lips in a tight line and her eyes blazing with the “yes” her lips wouldn’t not form.

“What? She wouldn’t what?”

“It’s a… darker version of the Elixir of Life,” the brunette began. “She’s not going to _sacrifice_ Ell, cupcake. She’s going to bring her back. She’s going to… gods she’s going to make her more powerful than any of us.” The terror in Carmilla’s voice was potent, echoing around the room and situating itself right inside Laura’s abdomen.

“Danny and Ell and you… Lilita’s forming a Trifecta. The head, the brawn, and the heart. Mattie, that’s never been done before." Carmilla's eyes were ablaze with concern, and Laura could feel every inch of her on fire with it.

“Leave it to Mommy Dearest,” Mattie said, cocking her head in come kind of affirmation.

“Shit,” Carmilla said, and the sentiment was exactly what Laura would have said if her voice wasn’t stuck in her throat. “What did she promise you if you were Reborn, Laura?” Carmilla asked.

“That everyone would remain safe. No one would get hurt…” Laura fumbled, her eyes stuck to the ground.

“Of course. Not that it would matter, once you’re Reborn you won’t remember any of your friends or your family or your previous life. That conniving, cynical old bat.”

“Carm, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to apologize for, cupcake. We are going to figure out what we need to do to break you from her, and we are going to tear her unbeating heart from her chest. And no one, I mean no one, is going to get hurt. Do you hear me?” The last part of her speech was whispered and for Laura and Laura alone, the brunette’s voice so layered with passion, with promise, that Laura half expected to see red tears on her cheeks when she felt a finger lift her chin to meet her baby vamp’s gaze.

And she was right, there were tears brimming in Carmilla’s eyes.

“The Shadows are probably supposed to watch you while Lilita and Danny are away,” Carmilla said. “Which is fine, we'll play by her rules when we're at the house. And we already know that when I’m a panther our symbiosis doesn’t effect me. We just have to…”

“Figure out how to turn me into a big cat?” Laura said, only half-joking.

“Well, wait, that’s not a terrible idea…” Mattie said, and Laura could see the wheels in her head turning. “Your friend, the science junkie…”

“LaF,” Laura offered.

“Yes, them, they have quite the talent for… altering chemistries, do they not?” Mattie asked.

“…Yeah…” Laura said.

“Darling truly, for as intelligent as you are, you really can be quite dim. Carmilla is not connected with you or Lilita when she’s her panther because her body’s chemistry is different. All your friend must do is find a way to alter yours, and you should be free from Mother’s clutches. Shadows really are tedious. Mother loves them but they’re tacky, overrated, and honestly not that useful to any of us. No offense.”

“None taken,” Laura said, but she was more focused on how she was going to get LaF to change the chemical make-up of her body.

This was it. This was the way to end Lilita once and for all. Maybe she’d be able to walk from that campus with her life and her love and her friends.

Maybe, just maybe, a happy ending was something Laura Hollis could see in her future. A genuine warmth lit up beneath her breastplate - it was something she hadn't felt in a long time, and she was desperate not to let it go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	30. A Jar & a Battery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura discovers changing her body chemistry may not be as easy as she thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness my readers, I am deeply sorry. It's been a crazy month for me and I haven't had much time to do so much as sleep.
> 
> However I'm back with a chapter for you! Thank you for sticking with me through this story, I know it's a little nuts but I'm having a blast with it.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

"I think I might be dreaming. Could you… ask me that again?" LaF said, and Laura could sense the excitement building beneath their skin as they paced across their lab.

"I want you to find a way to change my body chemistry. Carm isn't affected by my Shadow when she's her panther because the core of her DNA shifts. If we can do that for me… we can defeat Lilita."

"And save you."

"And save me."

* * *

The feeling of possibility and euphoria wore off after two weeks of no success. By the time a month and a half rolled around, Laura was becoming downright distraught. Funny, considering just a month and a half before she was hellbent on sacrificing herself for the greater good.

"Cupcake, it's going to be okay okay, we're going to-"

"Stop telling me it's okay, Carm, it's _not okay_ ," Laura burst, pacing around her apartment within Lilita's townhome. She'd become used to it: the curfews, the meetings, the dinners, she and Lilita had even managed to become more cordial with each other. This of course was all in effort to eventually ruin the woman, but semantics.

"I didn't say it _is_ okay, Laura, I said it's _going to be_ okay," Carmilla corrected, trying to pull a vibrating Laura into her arms. The blonde wasn't in the headspace to be comforted by her baby vamp. She shrugged the brunette off huffily.

"LaF's freaking out. Their letting Perry take the reins on the wedding, which is the week before Silas and I'm basically running the ceremony and we all knew Perry was going to plan everything but I can't help but feel like I've taken LaF away from her in a time when they need to be present for her and I don't know what to do and what if they don't figure this out and… and what if I have to do something crazy and at the very last minute I chicken out and can't do it and become some huge killing machine, walking alongside Lilita forever and forgetting my previous life?" Laura exploded, everything coming out as one giant sentence, the woman taking not so much as one breath the entire time she spoke.

"Whooooaaaa there creampuff," Carmilla coaxed.

“I need to go for a run, Carm,” Laura said, throwing herself down on the couch and tossing her sneakers on.

“Oh, okay, let me-” Carmilla began to reach for her own shoes.

“Alone, if that’s okay. I-I think I need to be alone for a bit,” Laura said quietly, and she felt her vampire’s chest fall just slightly. It was strange, the symbiotic emotional relationship between the two of them had mellowed out within the last few weeks. Laura could still feel her baby vamp, but it seemed more… natural now. Not as pronounced. She could still discern her own emotions from those of her girlfriend or Lilita, but they didn’t feel as incendiary as they once had.

“Oh. Sure, cupcake, whatever you need.” Carmilla’s voice was soft and low, and she sat herself on a chair, looking down at her hands in her lap.

Laura placed a reassuring hand on Carmilla’s shoulder as she passed, squeezing lightly.

The tiny journalist jogged down the hallway and descended the stairs. She’d almost made her way out the door without running into anyone when she heard a familiar voice behind her.

“Laura?” It was Danny.

Laura and the redhead hadn’t had much interaction the last month and a half. Danny and Lilita had been off in Europe for about three weeks and once they’d returned… well Laura and her friend had a few fights about Danny becoming a vampire, mostly stemming from Laura’s fear rather than anger directed at her, but it still felt like an iron wedge was slowly being driven between them.

And Laura couldn’t help but hate Lilita all the more for it.

“Oh, Danny, hey. I’m just, uh, I’m just going for a run. In case Lilita asks.” The last sentence came out with more of an acidic bite than intended, but Danny seemed to shrug it off. She seemed despondent. Crestfallen, even, but the kind where nothing seemed to matter as opposed to it all mattering too much.

“Danny? Are you okay?” Laura asked, not sure she wanted to know the answer.

“You ever think that maybe you did everything you were supposed to do, but you made all the wrong choices in those moments instead of the right ones?” Danny asked quietly, her eyes not meeting Laura’s.

“I’m pretty sure I know that feeling, yeah,” the blonde answered, nodding. “Not with you, though. And not with any of this,” the journalist added, trying to inject some hope into her voice to help the taller woman out.

“Really? You never think we did anything wrong?” Danny asked, her gaze finally meeting Laura’s and the smaller woman could see just the faintest hint of red beginning to appear around her friend’s eyes.

“I think if we had stayed together we would have ended up hating each other. I think we needed to get together to realize that we were much better as friends. I think I met Carmilla at the exact right time and I think becoming a Shadow was… a random happenstance. And I think Lilita turning you may be both the best and the worst thing to happen to you,” Laura stated matter-of-factly. Danny looked more confused than ever. “Look, Danny, I don’t have a way to look into the future to tell you everything’s okay. In fact I spend most of my time freaking out over everything that’s happening and that will happen. And I’m not gonna go all mystic and say, ‘this has all happened for some _reason,’_ ” the blonde dragged out the last word almost comically. Danny cracked a smile. “I don’t think I’m some Chosen One. I think Lilita thinks I am, but to me that’s a crock of shit.”

The blonde reached out and took Danny’s hand in her own.

“Your _choices_ make you _you,_ Danny. Not some unwritten mysterious prophecy we all may or may not be a part of. The size of your heart doesn’t have to do with whether or not it beats, and neither does the way you use it. You are _good,_ Danny.”

“I don’t feel good.” The redhead’s voice cracked, and there it was. Danny’s ultimate fear. It had been her fear before she was a vampire, too. That she would never be _good enough._ That she would never be _good._

“Do you know why Lilita is so drawn to you?” Laura asked, and Danny shrugged. “It’s because of your goodness, your bravery, your hunger to do what’s _right_. It’s because you’re a Gryffindor through and through, Lawrence. Now you better start living up to it before I have to beat that knowledge into you. Don’t think I won’t.” Laura winked.

“Oh, I know you would,” Danny said, cracking a smile.

“I’m not afraid of you, Danny,” the tiny journalist said, not letting go of Danny’s hand. At first the redhead looked away and gave an imperceptible shake of her head. But Laura stood firm, gripping the fingers in hers more tightly. “I am not afraid of you.”

“I am.”

“Well buck up, Lawrence. Be the brave badass I know you are.” Laura’s mama bear was coming out, her voice deep and resonant in her chest.

“I’m not scared of you, either, Hollis,” Danny said finally.

“Yeah, I know. I’m counting on it,” Laura said, only half knowing in that moment what she really meant. Danny gave her a confused glance for a second, then pointed to the door.

“Go. Go on your run. Before she needs anything.”

“See you later, Danny. I love you.”

“Love you, too, Hollis.”

And then Laura was jogging out the door and into the air of a summer night.

The pounding of her feet on the concrete echoed in her chest, music pumping in her ears. She ran down block after block, lost in the blaring of loud voices and electric guitars, her thoughts racing faster than her feet. After a bit she found herself at a familiar park.

The one where Carmilla had been turned.

The sun had just freshly set and the tiny journalist was sure the park would soon be crawling with vampires out for their nightly jaunt. A smirk made its way to her lips. Concern filled her lower abdomen, she was able to feel Carm and Lilita from this far away now, and vice versa. Carmilla must have sensed the slight shift in the blonde’s thinking and emotions.

Laura took out her phone. Before she could send something, she already had a text from Carm.

     Baby Vamp: _What is it?_

Laura sighed. She knew Carmilla meant well. She knew her girlfriend wasn’t overbearing, but worried. The last few weeks hadn’t been easy, and Laura knew her emotional life was volatile, and she knew it had been eating away at Carmilla.

     Laura: _I’m fine, Carm._

     Baby Vamp: _Ahem_.

     Laura: _I passed by the park on Pine. It just… well… you know. But I’m okay._

     Baby Vamp: _Okay. I love you, cupcake. Call me if you need anything._

     Laura: _You know I will._

* * *

Laura pocketed her phone, trying to push down her guilt about not telling Carmilla that she was now _walking through_ the park on Pine instead of just passing by it. She knew Carm would sense it if she didn’t squash it quickly.

She didn’t have long to worry, however, as a group of vampires walked out from the small hut Laura had once seen another group come out from the night Carmilla was killed.

They all simultaneously sniffed the air and turned to look at her.

“Well, well, well…” one of them said, a mix of interest and seduction coating his voice.

Laura’s brain told her she should be afraid. But every other part of her understood that she had _control_ here. She had _power_ over these vampires. Her Shadow Sire was _the_ vampire. She scoffed.

“Please,” she said, a new confidence coursing through her veins.

The vampire’s expressions shifted.

“It’s her,” one of them whispered.

“Do speak more loudly, friend, I don’t have supernatural hearing,” Laura drawled, her voice mimicking Lilita’s very own.

“Has _she_ sent you?” one of them asked.

Laura huffed.

“If by _she_ you mean Lilita, certainly not. I’m not some underling running around doing her bidding.” A small pang crossed Laura’s chest as she said it, because Danny’s face flashed across her mind.She shook her head quickly, trying to rid herself of the thought.

“Hm,” one of the vampires said. The smallest of the group. He looked the tiny journalist up and down, then began walking away from the group, clearly interested in moving on with the evening and perhaps feeding.

“You,” Laura said, and he stopped in his tracks, but didn’t turn. “You know the warlock.”

“The warlock” was someone Laura had been researching quietly for about two weeks. She knew there was an underground group of witches and warlocks in the city, and with LaF struggling to find a way to alter Laura’s bodily chemistry, the blonde was beginning to think she might have to look elsewhere for answers.

LaF had reached out to some of the people they knew in the Alchemy Club at Silas, but with Laura’s newfound Shadow-dom, even the Alchemy kids were having issue in finding something to change her.

The tiny journalist didn’t know how she knew that the small vampire knew the warlock, it was more of a sixth sense than anything. But the way the vamp’s body seemed to lock-up at the mention of him told Laura all she needed to know.

“Warlock?” the vampire said, coy. Laura cocked her head to the side.

“No need for that. I know you know him.”

“And what would it mean for you if I did? What would you do for me?” the vamp asked, and his confidence lit a fire in Laura. It was different to have someone that knew she was Lilita’s Shadow Sire not bow beneath her. A smile crawled up her face.

“Well look at you,” she said. “All dressed up with nowhere to go.”

“Oh I think I have plenty of places to go,” the vampire said in challenge.

“You’ll have plenty more if you tell me where I can find the warlock,” Laura said.

* * *

It took about fifteen minutes and the breaking of a park bench with the vampire’s face, but Laura did manage to get the location of the warlock out of him. It was one Laura had come to know well: along the row of worn-out warehouses where Carmilla had made her home.

The blonde jogged down the street, passed Carm’s place and toward the end of the road. She took a right down a thin, dark alley, passing two long-forgotten city dumpsters.

“Ah, she has come,” a voice seemed to echo from the shadows. A back door was propped open just the slightest, and though Laura couldn’t see through, she knew that’s where the sentence had come from. “Come, daughter of darkness, come,” the voice said and the door creaked open further. It was warm, welcoming even, despite the fact that Laura was meeting this warlock down a literal dark alley.

“You know why I’m here?” the tiny journalist asked, already knowing the answer.

“We do,” the voice said.

Laura stepped through the dark corridor and the smell of rich mahogany met her nostrils. The hallway was lavish: wooden walls carved from floor to ceiling, flickering candles leading all the way to deep purple curtains which hung on the other side of the hall. A gleaming suit of armor sat next to the curtains. This was like something out of a fantasy story.

Finally Laura got a good look at the man in front of her: he must’ve been in his sixties, smaller than she expected, maybe five-foot-five at most. Wrinkles lined his face but no part of him looked tired, rather he seemed to derive energy from everything around him. It radiated off him in beams.

“Are you the warlock?” Laura asked, her mouth suddenly dry.

“I am one,” the small man said, leading the tiny journalist toward the curtains and pulling them back to reveal a modern living room, complete with crisp leather couches and chairs, a large, slim television, large glass coffee table, and an enormous, sleek silver-and-glass desk off in the corner, a giant computer monitor sitting on top, the desk itself littered with books.

“This way,” he said, leading Laura over to a steel door inlaid in the wall. He typed something on a code-pad on the wall and the door slid open.

They stepped into a room much like the hallway they’d just come from, all wood and smelling of incense and mahogany. A woman with long, curly grey hair sat next to two men.

“We together are the Warlock,” the woman said. “A coven, with many as one.”

“You know why I’m here?” Laura asked as she had just moments before. The shorter man that let her into the building gestured for her to sit at the table. She sat as he pulled out a chair and did the same.

“I do,” the woman said. “You seek something we cannot provide.”

Laura’s chest fell. She felt a shift in her abdomen, too. Carmilla knew she was up to something.

“There must be something,” Laura began. “My friend, they’re a scientist, they’ve been trying to find a way to alter my body chemistry, we’ve come close a couple of times, I need to—”

“Shadows cannot alter their chemistry,” the woman said simply. “They are tied to the chemistries of their Sires. So while your Sires may momentarily shift, you cannot. Do you know what makes Shadows so unique?” the woman asked, and Laura shrugged, unable to process much.

“Where vampires are demons inside human vessels, Shadows, ones like you at least, Shadows chosen by their Sires for symbiosis, are different. For vampires, the demon’s soul replaces the human’s soul — it can walk and talk and behave as the human may have, but the demon and the human are not one in the same. With Shadows, the human’s soul _merges_ with the soul of her Sire.”

“Why can they shift and I can’t?” Laura said, almost indignant, like a child.

“Think of yourself as a tether of sorts. Their souls use your energy when they shift: you become both a jar and a battery, keeping their vampiric bodies in a stasis until they return to them. They cannot do so for you because none of their cells or tissue are alive. It would be like putting a dead battery into a machine and expecting it to work.”

“And I’m a keeper of their _souls_?” Laura’s eyebrows shot into the air, her palms beginning to sweat and her voice growing higher.

“Precisely,” the small man said.

“And there’s no possible way for me to shift? Into anything? Ever?” Laura asked, her voice growing smaller and smaller.

“One of your Sires would have to choose to make you Vampire. They would be the only ones that could now. That is the only way,” the woman said, her tone heavy with a sense of gravity.

Laura’s breath caught in her chest just as an agonizing pain shot across her breastbone and down into her belly.

Carm and Lilita were fighting.

And it was _big._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	31. UPDATE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for this not being a chapter, but please read on for a full update.

 

Life has been crazy. In good ways and less good ways, but I've been absent because I've barely had time to sleep more than 3 hours a night, nevermind do much of anything else. I even recently passed out at a fundraiser because I forgot to eat the whole day (whoops).

I've been busily working on a wonderful creative endeavor that has taken up much of my time, along with work.

I promise you I will continue to update this fic when I can, it just won't be as often as it once was. I love this fic. I've had a blast with this fic. And I love all of you.

Thank you for your support, and I can't wait to finish this story strong. :)


	32. Devoted. Kind. The Best of Us.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LaF and Laura begin thinking outside the box, Carm and Lilita fight (AGAIN), and then Laura takes Carmilla to one of her most sacred places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap, guys, I know it's been quite awhile since I updated. If you've come back to read, thank you so much. Life got crazy - really, really crazy - and I just couldn't update. 
> 
> Life's still crazy, but I missed this creative outlet and decided I need to get better at carving out time for it as a place where I can go and unwind after my busy days. So I'm finally bringing you another chapter. 
> 
> Thank you for being patient, thank you for reading, and thank you for all your kind words, kudos, and comments. They mean more than you know.
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

Time seemed to pass in a vacuum. The seconds were agonizing, the tempest roaring in Laura’s chest the only thing she could feel. A brewing storm filled the evening air, as if mirroring the emotions of her Sires.

The mystic’s words echoed in her ears,

_“It is the only way.”_

 

As if “the only way” had ever stopped Laura Eileen Hollis before.

 

Her feet pounded the pavement as quickly as her fingers dialed LaF’s number.

“We need another tactic, LaF. Normal stuff’s not going to cut it,” Laura said as soon as she heard LaF’s greeting. No time for pleasantries.“Time to think outside the box.”

“I live outside the box, L. I make my own boxes,” LaF said.

“I’m serious, LaF.”

“Are you running? Geez, Hollis, I can barely hear you. It’s all just wind.”

“Carm and Lilita are at it again. I’m trying to get back to them as fast as I can,” Laura said, feeling like it was barely an effort at all to run full speed and have this conversation.

“What are we missing?” LaF asked.

“They said I’m a jar and a battery. I’m the keeper of their souls and the one that keeps them running.”

“Well, that’s a little overwrought.”

“You’re telling me.”

“LaFontaine, who are you on the phone with, we are trying cakes!” Laura heard Perry screech in the background. A sense of guilt flooded through her, but it also brought a smile to her lips. At least someone was having a somewhat… normal night.

“It’s Laura, Perr, give me a minute!”

“Oh… oh, take your time, honey. HI LAURA!”

“Tell Perry I say hi.” Laura said.

“She says hi back, Perr!”

“Isn’t she just the sweetest…” Laura heard Perry say in the background. LaF began to say something about how great Laura was.

“LAF, CAN WE FOCUS?”

“Sorry, Laur. Just singing your praises.”

“Well sing them when we end Lilita and I’m still standing.”

“Yes ma’am. Dang, Frosh, you’re so assertive.”

“Have I ever not been?”

“…Fair point. You know, I think I’ve got an idea. I got hold of a new book and I…hmm…” they mused from the other side of the phone. Laura could hear the wheels in their head turning.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s your ides?”

“Let’s just say that science killed god once. Maybe it’ll take the mystics this time, too.”

“Work your magic, LaF.”

“Ain’t magic, Frosh. It’s science.” Laura could nearly hear the redhead wink before they hung up.

Laura stood on the stoop of Lilita’s townhome. The storm inside her was overbearing. She’d never felt anything like it and not have it followed by a panic attack before. Chest tightening, throat clamping, sweat dripping…

Thunder cracked right above the house.

“Oh, come on,” Laura said, staring up at the sky in disbelief.

_How cliche._

“You may want to stay out of there tonight, darling,” a voice came from behind Laura.

“Mattie…” the tiny journalist mused without looking back.

“In the flesh,” she said.

“SHE’S HERE, MOTHER, I CAN FEEL HER!” Carmilla’s voice erupted from behind the door. Laura and Mattie’s heads both snapped to attention.

The doorknob turned and the door cracked open, Lilita standing, seemingly calmly (though Laura knew better. The heat was emanating from her very skin) in its open corridor.

“Of course she is, dear. Where we are, she’s never far behind.”

Carmilla’s eyes were puffy, her cheeks stained red from tears of blood.

“I’m going home,” Carmilla roared, pushing passed her powerhouse of a mother. She stopped in front of Laura. “Come with me?” she whispered.

“She can’t,” Lilita drawled. “You know this, dear. You may come and go at nights as you please, but Laura stays with me.”

“ _Laura_ can do whatever she damn well pleases, _Mother,_ ” Carmilla spat, whipping her head around to face her tormentor. “I won’t let you keep her locked up in here while… while _he’s_ here.”

Laura’s gaze shot to meet Carmilla’s eyes.

“He? He who?”

“Oh good gracious, Mircalla, must you always be so _dramatic?_ Running around like you’re plagued with the plight of Oedipus himself.”

“Oh trust me, Mother, I would never share his particular plight,” Carmilla scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“I believe I asked who “he” is,” Laura spoke again, calmly, but it was as though her voice took up the entire block. It was full, deep, and she could feel her eyes glowing when the words comfortably danced from her lips.

“Orson. Mother’s lover’s brother. My old boxing trainer. And an abusive piece of—“

_“Mind your manners, Mircalla.”_

“Bite me, bitch.”

The moment hung in the air for what felt like hours. Laura’s chest contracted and her abdomen burned. She could feel the rage in Lilita from Carmilla’s words, and Carmilla’s desperate need to break from her mother once and for all. It was agony.

“He treated you as well as you could have asked, Mircalla. He trained you into the fighter you are,” Lilita said. Her voice was even. Cold. Firm.

“You act as though those two sentences are mutually exclusive, Mother. Think again.”

The two women couldn’t meet eyes. Carmilla glanced over at Laura, and the tiny journalist could feel everything inside her lover, nothing stronger than guilt for having the blonde watch this display.

“Get your attitude in line, Mircalla. He stays. He is sick, and wishes to be with the two of us during the Christening—”

“Oh _come off it,_ you hag,” Carmilla spat. It took Laura by surprise. She’d never seen her girlfriend have so much power over her mother. She’d never seen her be able to really raise her voice toward her, except for the fight they’d had in Carm’s apartment.

“He hurt me. And you know what? I don’t care that you never cared about that. I care that you didn’t care that he hurt Mattie.”

“He never touched Matska,” Lilita hissed coolly.

“Carm,” Mattie said, her voice unusually quiet.

“You didn’t want to believe he did because she wouldn’t tell you, and you were sure I was lying. He turned me into a great fighter, Mother, not because he was a great trainer, but because I _had to fight back._ If I didn’t, I’d be dead,” Carmilla said, paying no attention to Mattie.

The silence between Carm and Lilita stung.

“You are dead, darling,” were the only words Lilita seemed able to conjure. But something had shifted. Laura felt like the door to Lilita closed, like the connection with her had been severed. An empty, cavernous hole was left in the place her body had shifted to make room for the older woman’s emotions. It was… gods, it was _devastating._

And the fact that it was so devastating was equally so.

The door opened and Danny stood in its shadow. Stronger than ever - tall, ferocious, stunning. She looked all edges and sharp corners and harsh. All the things Danny wasn’t. Her expression softened when she saw Laura’s face. Lilita looked between the two of them and rolled her eyes.

“For God’s sake, Danielle, what is it? Are you going to stand there slack-jawed all night?” The iciness in her tone was bitter. Laura had never heard her speak to Danny that way. Danny’s body went rigid, her eyes narrowing.

“I wish to speak with Laura, Lilita. And I would appreciate your not harassing me, though your tough act is adorable.”

Laura’s eyes widened. Danny was… dominating the conversation. Lilita’s head bowed slightly and was that… good gods… was she… _blushing?_

“I am sorry, Danielle. You know my tongue runs away with me,” Lilita said, her voice a low coo.

“Victor is quite ill,” Danny said in a low voice, her eyes meeting the tall blonde’s in concern. “He may not make it til the Christening.”

“Make sure she stays,” Lilita whispered, almost too low for Laura to hear. Danny’s eyes flashed and met hers for the briefest of seconds before she closed them slowly and bowed her head to whisper something in Lilita’s ear.

The tall blonde nodded and stepped inside the townhome.

“How the hell did you do that, Xena?” Carmilla spat, obviously fed up with the entire situation.

“You think I haven’t learned anything from watching her? From being chained to her side? Please, fang-face, I thought you at least had some level of respect for me.”

“Not sure you can call me fang-face anymore and have it be an insult, Xena.”

“Laura, can I talk with you inside?” Danny asked softly. Laura began stepping forward.

“You can talk out here,” Carmilla said. Laura shot her a glare. “Please.” The brunette’s eyes plead more than her tone.

Laura stepped toward her girlfriend. She could feel the sinking in her abdomen, almost a vibration. It felt the way she used to feel as a child when she was afraid she was going to be chastised, but this was to an almost extreme degree.

“Baby?” Laura asked quietly, waiting for Carmilla’s eyes to look up into her own. It took a moment, but she did. The feeling in Laura’s stomach eased just barely.

“I don’t want you in there with him,” Carmilla said through clenched teach, her hands in tight fists. Laura traced her baby vampire’s soft forearm with the tips of her fingertips until she reached porcelain knuckles.

“Danny,” Laura said without turning.

“Yeah, Laur?”

“Will she do something to you if I don’t go back inside?”

“No.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure, Laur. Go.”

Laura turned and grinned at Danny, who offered a smile, if not slightly melancholic in nature, in return. “He’s a dick.” She lowered her voice. “I’m planning on eating him at the Christening, if he’s still around.” She winked at Laura and for the first time in quite some time, Laura laughed.

Carmilla even smiled.

“Didn’t know you had it in you, Red,” Laura’s baby vamp said.

“I’ve got a lot in me, Elvira.”

With that, Danny turned and closed the door, but not before tossing a wink Laura’s way.

“My, my, my, the drama I’ve missed…” Mattie said. She had stayed surprisingly quiet during the whole conversation.

“What are you doing here, Mattie?” Carmilla asked.

“I can’t stop by to see my little sister and her Shadow?” Mattie asked innocently. The look Carmilla countered with was unamused. “Fine, I stopped by the city to give your science friend a little tip, Laura. And I wanted to stop by to make sure you and Mama didn’t kill one another, Mircalla.”

“Oh don’t worry, we’re biding our time for that one,” Carmilla snarled under her breath.

“What did you give to LaF?” Laura asked, picking up on the most important piece of information Mattie had said.

“Nothing much. A book that may help them… see things a different way. Tah, darlings, I promised Mother I’d join her for tea tonight.”

“Don’t go in there, Mattie,” Carmilla warned, but it was more pleading than demanding.

“Carm, I’m doing this for you. So that you and Nancy Drew can leave without Mother blowing her lid. Go before I change my mind.”

With that, Mattie was up on the stoop and walking through the door.

Laura’s phone buzzed. She took it out. A text, from Betty.

 

     Betts: _I’ve got a team for Silas, Hollis. Had to pull all my strings. Don’t let me down._

 

Laura placed her phone back in her pocket and looked up into the quiet eyes of her girlfriend.

“Carm, can I take you somewhere?”

“Anywhere, cupcake,” the vampire said. “So long as it’s not here.”

* * *

 

After a walk back to Carmilla’s (and a short spat about who would drive), Carmilla was wrapped around Laura, the blonde driving the vampire’s motorcycle. The buildings slowly became further and further apart as the city began to fade from their view. The night air whipped around them while the buzz of the motorcycle filled their ears.

Laura could feel her baby vampire’s curiosity and confusion.

“We’re close!” she shouted back toward the brunette, and the vampire squeezed Laura’s abs in response.

The tiny journalist slowed the motorcycle between her legs as they took a turn down a more wooded road. The trees gave way to a cemetery, and Laura immediately felt her vampire’s sense of understanding, a melancholy sympathy reserved only for something like this.

Laura pulled the motorcycle through the gates and pulled over, quieting the engine. She took a shaky breath before climbing off, and her baby vampire’s fingers snaked with her own. There was so much the blonde wanted to say, and yet there was little need for words.

They walked amongst the gravestones, a topography Laura could easily do with her eyes closed at this point, until her eyes fell upon the faded grey she had come to know so well, which stood directly in front of a small tree. It was a stone she’d cried upon so many times, and a tree she’d lost count of how often she’d hugged.

 

_Penelope Hollis_

_Devoted. Kind. The best of us._

_“How lucky we are to have something that made saying goodbye so hard.”_

 

Laura knelt down, placing one hand upon the stone and one upon the tree. Emotion tore through her chest, filling up behind her eyes, seeping down her cheeks.

“So much has happened, Mom. I don’t know if you’d be very proud of me…” the blonde whispered, coughing slightly.

“Laura, there’s no reason in the world she would be anything _but_ proud of you,” Carmilla said quietly, kneeling down beside the journalist, letting the blonde place her head on her shoulder.

“I don’t think I’m gonna make it through the Christening, Carm,” Laura hiccuped.

“Laura…” Carmilla began, her tone becoming sharp.

“No. I need to know that if, Carm if I…” Laura sighed, gathering herself. “I want to be here, with her. We cremated her, and put her in a pod. The tree,” she pointed.

“LaF will figure something out, Laura, they will-“

“Carm, I can’t alter my chemistry. I can’t shift into anything. They are working on something, but I need to know that if something happens, you’ll help bring me here to her.”

“I can’t have this conversation.”

“My dad will be a wreck, Carm, _someone_ will have to—”

“I CAN’T DO IT AGAIN, LAURA!” Carmilla exploded, her teeth baring in the process. Silence fell between them as tears fell down Carmilla’s face and she turned away in shame.

“I-I’m sorry, Laura, I—”

Laura’s head was spinning from feeling Carmilla’s guilt mixing with her own.

“Carm, no. I didn’t think. I shouldn’t have…”

“I just can’t watch the woman I love die. Again. Because of _her._ ** _Again._** It’s not fair. I know. But I just… Laura, I can’t…” The vampire’s voice was weak.

The blonde turned back toward her mother’s grave.

“See, Mom? See what I’ve gotten myself into? Some days I don’t think you’d even recognize me.”

Guilt flooded Laura’s lower abdomen. Her vampire was crying more freely now, but not because of Ell, or even because of the idea of losing Laura.

“I shouldn’t have done that here, Laura. I’m sorry. To behave like that when we’re here… I keep letting you down…”

“Stop that, you’re not letting me down.”

“I am, Laura. I have. So many times.”

“Stop it.”

“Laura—”

“Carmilla you will not have a pity party at the site of my mother’s grave,” Laura said sternly. Carmilla lowered her head sheepishly. “Look at me,” Laura asked, her voice softening. Her baby vamp looked up. “You’ve made mistakes and so have I. But I think we know at this point that we’re stuck with each other.”

“Look at you, ever the romantic,” Carmilla smirked ever so slightly, but Laura could feel the vampire’s tension dissipating. “I just want to be everything that you deserve.”

“You are everything, Carm. _Everything,_ ” Laura whispered, bringing her lips to her baby vamp’s, reveling in a simple kiss.

“I wish I could have met her,” Carmilla said softly as they parted. “Your mother. Devoted, kind, the best of us? Sounds just like a tiny journalist I know,” she said as she kissed Laura softly again. “She must have been just like you.”

Laura’s eyes lit up.

“Just like me,” she said.

“Mmhmm,” Carmilla said, leaning in again. But Laura pulled away.

“Just like me. Carm… Carm, I think I have an idea,” Laura said, a twinkle in her eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and thank you for sticking with his super funky little tale.


	33. A Dose of Gryffindor Courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura delivers some devastating news, and resolves to finish this, once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hello. It's been... an age since I last updated this. Life took me on a grand ride, keeping me insanely busy. But here I am, back to finish the last few chapters of this old thang. This is a shorter chapter than most, but there's quite a bit in it so I didn't want to make it too long.
> 
> I can't promise when it will be finished, as life is still a bit nuts, but I will finish it. If anyone is even still reading. 
> 
> Enjoy, maybe, lovers of the dark.

“Laura, absolutely _not,_ ” Carmilla said as they stepped into her loft.

“Carm, please, hear it out—” Laura countered, but Carmilla glared.

“I don’t need to hear it out,” the vampire began, opening a bottle of blood and drinking. “It’s devastating enough to watch you with her sometimes. The way she looks at you. The way you look at her…” Carmilla began drifting off, her eyes falling to the ground.

Laura softened at Carmilla’s words, moreso when she felt shame flare up in her belly. Carmilla felt guilty, ashamed, _envious_ of how Laura was with Lilita sometimes.

“It’s stupid, cupcake, I know. And that’s not even why… I just won’t kill you. I can’t…” Carmilla whispered, trailing off, placing the bottle of blood on the counter. “I can’t kill everything I love about you. I couldn’t bear to turn you, Laura. Your humanity, your soul, it isn’t mine to take.”

The wind hadbeen all but knocked from Laura’s lungs. Was there nothing Carmilla couldn’t make poetic? She sighed.

“What if it’s the only way to get rid of Lilita?” she asked, voice small.

“We’ve been through this, cupcake, _no,”_ Carmilla said, the finality in her tone nothing compared to the cold stone that dropped into Laura’s lower abdomen.

“What if… what if I got sick?” Laura asked, even more quietly. This wasn’t a topic she was keen on breaching, not something she particularly wanted to think about. But it was time she talk about it with someone. She didn't have the heart to bring it up to her dad.

* * *

 

The air in the hospital sat stale, like it always seemed to, making its way in and out of Laura’s lungs. Her mother had been in this hospital, had seen her last few months of life here. Laura fidgeted in her seat, biting her nails in anticipation. The office was a little cool for her liking.

She’d never been able, thinking back, to recall the whole conversation. It was like she was picking up bits and pieces, certain words falling from the lips of the doctor. “Genetic”, “predisposition”, “carrier”… and “positive”. She had tested positive, if that was even an applicable term in this instance.

But that was it. It was likely that she, too, would get sick the way her mother had. That she would see her life’s end far too soon. Would she be as graceful as her mother had been, at the end? Would she be as positive? As open? As filled with love and curiosity about what came next?

Laura had sat, taking it in, unable to move. Unable to cry. Unable to do much of anything. The only thought in her mind was, ‘take care of him. Don’t tell him. You’ll break his heart, Hollis. You will _break your father’s heart._ ’

The only person Laura had ever told was LaFontaine, because they tested her every now and then to see if anything had developed. When something odd came up, it had taken Laura three full days to go get seen. To be fair, she’d been going through a _lot_ of changes and maybe the oddity had been related to becoming a Shadow.

But this… this was as human as it got. There was nothing fantastical about this. No demons, no supernatural occurrence. This was wholly hers.

* * *

 

“It wasn’t fair not to tell you. It’s not fair. None of this is _fair,”_ Laura said, unable to look at Carmilla as the vampire’s steady hands were gripping the back of a chair. “I’m sick, Carm.”

“Laura…”

“After you made me a Shadow, LaF ran some tests. One of them was to check and see about certain health conditions. It’s growing in me, Carm. It’s constantly growing and dying and growing bigger. The cravings? It’s not just about being a Shadow, Carmilla, some of this is plain old human shit. I’m rotting from the inside out.”

Maybe, if her life were some kind of movie, there would have been a swell of melancholy music, close-ups of tear-stained cheeks, followed by silence while the Laura screamed into a quiet void. But, as it was, there was only a long pause. A long, _agonizing_ pause.

“I don’t know what to say,” Carmilla whispered, her knuckles rolling her fingers into fists so hard they were becoming ghostly white.

Laura was certain that all the vampire wanted to do was to shift into her panther and run. Run until the only thing that made sense was her lungs pumping and her legs pounding. The feeling was so strong in Carmilla that it radiated through Laura’s body. Truthfully, it was all Laura wanted to do, too. Run, and never look back.

Maybe, if she could run fast enough, far enough, she could run away from everything. Lilita, the Shadow business, her agony… everything. Maybe she could run so fast she’d fall into the past, and be able to undo everything she’d done. But that would mean never meeting Carmilla, and how could that be right?

“You don’t have to say anything, Carm,” Laura said evenly, far more even than her insides would suggest. “It’s just… if I’m going to die either way-“

“Stop it.”

“No. If I’m going to die anyway, shouldn’t it be fighting Lilita? If you’re tethered to me and she’s tethered to me… my death would give you a window to kill her, Carm.”

“We are _not_ having this conversation,” Carmilla said in a low growl, brushing off Laura’s words and not meeting her eye. Courage flared hot in Laura’s chest.

“Carmilla Karnstein, at least look at me when you’re brushing me off.” Laura’s voice was demanding, her jaw set in resolve. Carmilla blinked, holding her eyes closed for a second too long before opening them and meeting them with Laura’s. Spots of red pooled at the edges.

“It’s not fair,” Carmilla said.

“I know,” Laura whispered, shaking her head.

“No, it’s not fair that all I can think about is how I can’t do it again. Watch the woman I love die in that basement. It’s not fair that I can’t help being so selfish.” Tears fell from Carmilla’s eyes and stained her shirt. She closed them and let her head fall. Torment, agony, tore at Laura’s abdomen - hot and deep like searing coals were nestling in and making a home there.

“Baby, you’re not selfish.” Laura said, taking Carmilla’s cheeks in her hands and wiping her tears with her thumb. When she felt something hot and fast fall down her own face, she realized that she, too, was crying.

“It’s taking everything in me not to run away right now,” Carmilla mused.

“I know. I can feel it,” Laura said.

“I’m sorry I’m such a coward,” Carmilla whispered, looking away.

“But you’re not running, are you?” Laura asked, tipping Carmilla’s chin up to meet her eyes, stained red with tears.

“I always run. I’ve never been good at staying. At facing.” Carmilla wrung her hands. “I couldn’t even face Lilita tonight. Xena had to tell her off.”

“Shush, you faced her fine. I’ve never seen you stand up to her like that. All that stuff about Victor… Carm, did he really hurt you?” Laura’s tone became even, kind, ready for what came next.

Carmilla’s head nodded slowly.

“Oh, Carm…” Laura’s arms wrapped around Carmilla’s shaking body, so small, so vulnerable in her memory of her past.

“You never cease to amaze me, Creampuff,” Carmilla said softly. “You tell me you’re sick, and somehow end up comforting me about something that happened a lifetime ago.”

“Tragedy is funny that way,” Laura said.

“How long?” Carmilla asked, taking Laura’s hands in her own, tracing her fingertips along her soft skin, as if memorizing every wrinkle, every knuckle, quietly praying she would never need that memory.

“I don’t know,” Laura said, now tracing Carmilla’s hands with her own. “With it growing and dying and growing again, there’s no telling. But I know I can make it to the Christening. I can feel it. I can make it long enough to take Lilita and her empire down. In the end, isn’t that the most important thing?”

“You’re important, Laura. More important than you know. More important to me than… than anything,” Carmilla said matter-of-factly. Laura felt a laugh bubble up in her stomach. It made its way out of her mouth before she could stop it.

Carmilla’s brow furrowed.

“I’m glad you find this so funny.”

“Who would have thought,” Laura began in between giggles. “Who would have thought that, when we met at that bar on my birthday, you with all your swagger and that leather jacket, me with all my bumbling, clumsy awkwardness… Carm, how did we get here?” Her laughter grew until tears seeped from her eyes.

Carmilla sighed and shook her head, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“We all share some kind of soul? We’re about to take down Lilita’s entire empire? I _drink blood now_? Carm, this is all ridiculous!” Laura’s laugh had grown into a full-out boom around Carmilla’s apartment. “I just wanted to box and write stories.”

“Creampuff, you’ve always wanted to save the world.”

“Well, somebody has to,” Laura said, still laughing. The catharsis was everything she needed: it was joy and agony rolled into one, the universe felt big and microscopic at the same time. It was like Laura could see the timeline of her life laid out before her. All the moments: her mother, her father, her first kiss, the first time she wrote something that mattered, the first time she boxed in the Black Box, her first everything with Carmilla… it all came cascading into her memory like it was being played on giant movie screens in her mind. Slices of life, pieces of memory, things that felt like home.

A sense of peace washed over her. Was this what it felt like to understand death? The vastness of a life lived, the uncertainty of the unknown? Would she see her mother again? Would they, from afar, take care of her father? Would Carm take care of her father, if she made it through the fight? Would LaF and Perry visit him, make him laugh, take care of him on the days when he most thought of Laura and her mother? Would he stand tall when Betty and her crew streamed the fall of Lilita? Would his lips proudly tell the tale of his daughter, the one who uncovered the truth behind the Karnstein legacy?

Her father. He’d be alone.

Laura stopped laughing.

Alone on his birthday. Alone on holidays. Alone on the anniversary of her mother’s death, on the anniversary of their marriage. Alone.

Alone on the anniversary of Laura’s death. The same day she would unveil that Karnstein truth to the world.

Alone.

Laura’s resolve stiffened as she looked up into Carmilla’s eyes.

“I’m not ready,” she said, her voice even. “I’m not ready to go.”

At that, Carmilla smiled.

“There’s my girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me. I hope you're still reading and enjoying. Things got pretty crazy for me and sadly this took a bit of a back seat.
> 
> But I have resolved to finish this. I really enjoy telling this story, and I hope y'all stick with me to the end.
> 
> Having you read and your love makes my day a little brighter, and I'm excited to be back.


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